Fandom: Transformers G1
Author: gatekat
Chars: Prowl, Primus, Soundwave, Tandem
Rating: PG-13
Codes: AU
Summary: Prowl's spark is having one of those orns which always seemed predicated on someone who means well without understanding. He has no idea how bad it could have been.
Notes: klik = 1 minute, breem = 8.3 minutes; joor = 1.2 hours; orn = day/32 joor; metacycle = 6 (5.9285) years; vorn = 83 years/14 metacycle

This Winter Won't Last Forever 29


After three efforts to cleanse and fix my spark, Primus seems to have devised a new torment for me in the name of 'healing' me. I have definitely come to regret my brash assumption that he couldn't do any worse to me that force me to exist. His efforts have made existing far less painful, there is no questioning it. Now, however, he has decided that allowing me to exist in the relative peace I had in the emptiness is no longer for me. Apparently I am healed enough to be introduced to society once more.

Wonderful.

As if I wanted to deal with these people when we were alive and I could at least insist on physical distance. No, the only way to communicate here it to touch coronas. Still, I have enough hate to make coming that close to me painful for almost anyone if I don't tightly control it.

One last mental glare at the god I have long denied the existence of and the dark emptiness around me is suddenly full of sparks of all sizes, colors and strength. Recognition comes too fast to processes ... if I had processors anymore. It's probably good I don't have my logic chips here. This would lock me up for a long time.

The first to greet me, his corona crackling with an eager friendliness that reminds me entirely too much of Bluestreak, is one of my brothers lost so very early in the war.

"Tandem," I greet him politely and try to pull away when he gets too close. But touching sparks is the only way to communicate here and he presses forward at a slower rate, presumably to allow me to accept this newness and his presence. It is the way he was programmed, the way his plans for his functioning off duty tended to lay out; rush in with exuberance, back off and approach more slowly if he was rebuffed. Just about anyone else I'd force away, but I know Tandem as well as I know myself. He'll keep trying until he succeeds. It's better to let him.

"Prowl," his greeting is more cautious this time, his approach slower. "It's weird, but you'll get used to things here."

"I'm sure." It takes everything in me not to lash out and make him feel what I do now. He catches an echo of it anyway and recoils with a pulse of distress.

Slowly Tandem slides close and gives a pulse of curiosity and support. "Who hurt you? I thought the war was over."

"It is. This was set in motion when I was assigned to the Autobots. Done by Ratchet under orders of Optimus Prime," I realize I respond before I can censor it when he really does recoil in abject horror. Whether it is at the statement or the truth of it I cannot tell before he is gone.

Seeing him flee from me does have a useful side affect; no one else comes near me for some time.


"Why don't you try?"

"Prowl: unlikely to forgive Soundwave," I address Him evenly. "Prowl and Soundwave: only enemies."

There is a pause, a gentle brush against my spark, before He speaks again.

"He forgave you long ago. He needs a spark he knows to teach him what he relied on hardware to deal with before. His spark is as whole as I can make it. The rest must be learned."

I hold still for a very long moment, such as time exists here, regarding the faintly pulsing spark, its corona pulled so tightly against its core that it might as well not be there. It is radiating 'do not touch' even more strongly than I did on arrival. Yet I know this mech; know the reasons...

I can't help pulse in surprise and 'glance' at the gigantic spark of Primus.

Our reasons were exactly the same?

But will Prowl accept my help?

"It will not hurt you to try."

I can resist a direct order now no more than when I served as his priest before the war. I am just outside his corona's range before I even fully process that I've moved. Around us are many sparks; those who cared about him in functioning and a few of my former comrades who are just curious. With his corona so tight, Prowl will know none of this. He is not even aware of my proximity yet.

Am I truly prepared to face him without the shields of our software and hardware?

I edge a little closer and extend my corona towards him, giving the absolute minimum contact required for him to realize I'm here until he extends his corona to let me in. It is entirely too reminiscent of when I first encountered Frenzy. Unable to trust, to perceive anything as less than a deadly threat, yet desperate for what I am willing to provide.

Frenzy needed energon, which I had to spare.

Prowl needs a companion capable of teaching him what he does not have the patience to work out for himself. With that first brush, I already know I am to prepare to him live again, in a similarly limited way to his original function. That set of processors could not coexist with emotional protocols at all. His next one is likely to be closer to his brothers; only limited in compatibility.

For now Primus and I are likely the only ones here capable of withstanding the fallout of his time as an Autobot.