Eh, to answer Slayers64's question, I'm not sure how much longer this story will be. We're over halfway done, but we have a long way to go. Hopefully I'll keep all of your undivided attention until then, hahaha! I had my math final yesterday. I swear, if I could go back in time and stop the stupid algebraic process from ever existing, I would. Math makes me wanna rip off my face and salsa dance around it. Anywho, on with the story!
Vacation
"I'm so booooorrrreeeeddd!" Izaya hissed from the kitchen. He was all alone today. Namie was told not to return until further notice, and Shizuo was at work. Work. That's what he should be doing. Instead he was walking aimlessly around his apartment looking for something to do.
Usually, it wasn't hard. He could troll someone, track someone, observe his humans…but none of that seemed to appeal to him at the moment. He simply felt lost, out of place. In his own damn home, too. Absently, he glanced at his chess board.
Today, almost all of the pawns were removed. Izaya had rearranged the entire board, moving the two kings to stand beside each other. It seemed more fitting now, after all. They were always together now. The raven found that he had grown so used to the company, it was harder to be alone. That…was a scary thought.
Of course he knew of the brute's feelings. He was glad Shizuo had passed the question though. Hearing him actually say it may be unbearable. Izaya wanted to be loved by humanity as a whole, not by a single being. If Shizuo said those words to him, he didn't know how he'd respond. If he didn't say them back, would Shizuo leave him? If Shizuo left…there would be nothing to keep him sane.
Yes, Izaya was well aware that he was losing it. Even more so now that he was forced to take time off of work. All the alone time made him slip more into his state of delusion. More often than not, whenever the blond would leave for work, Izaya would spend the entire day talking to himself. Slipping further and further away from reality. It wasn't even frightening anymore. What reason did he have to hold onto sanity anyway? Shiki had taken the most important thing from him now. His reputation was spoiled throughout the city…
He was no longer perfect.
Perfection was the single cornerstone of his entire life. He didn't have it anymore. He had nothing now. Even Shizuo couldn't help him with that fact. Not that they had even discussed it, but what could the blond say? Nothing could change what was. Izaya found he didn't have the strength to fight the realization anymore. Despite all he had ever stood for, he found himself slipping into depression. It had only been three days since his meeting with Shiki, but already he found himself more and more out of touch with the world.
"Iza-chan… I think you should go out for a bit. It can't be good for you to be holed up in your apartment all day…" Psyche's voice said gently. All of his alternates seemed to be worried for him these days. Hell, everyone seemed to be worried for him.
"I don't want to. They'll see me looking like this," he muttered.
"Izaya. It doesn't matter what they think! You need to interact with real people!" Roppi urged.
"I don't want to," Izaya said again, his eyes glazing over as he leaned against the counter.
It got worse every day. Whenever Shizuo would leave it got worse. But what could he do? Make Shizuo quit his job? Follow the blond everywhere? At some point, he would have to be separated from his sanity. The days and the nights spent without him seemed to grow longer with each passing second. There was a pressure in his head.
"Orihara…please go talk to someone… We can feel you losing touch with reality…" Hibiya's voice edged on gentle for once.
"What reason do I have?"
"Shizu-Shizu loves you…" Psyche whimpered. Izaya laughed.
"All the more reason to not seek help, dear Psyche. Without me he can focus more on himself."
"Izaya…" Roppi sounded like he was pleading now.
"Would you all just shut up? I'm not leaving this fucking apartment."
There was a peaceful silence for the moment. Izaya dully noted that he had slipped to the floor. He was uncertain how he got there, but chose not to dwell on it. He pressed his cheek against the hard floor, gazing across the wooden surface. He let go of his grip on the moment, and let his mind wander. He vaguely heard his door open and close in the distance. Then, felt hands lifting him up.
"Izaya! Are you okay?" The voice of Shinra said from somewhere.
"…Nmmm," he replied to the fuzzy voice. His vision cleared, and he managed to make out the forms of Shinra and Celty, both hovering over him.
[Why were you in the floor?] The PDA shoved in his face read.
"I don't know… Why are you here?" Izaya asked, studying them.
"Shizuo called and told us you may want company…" The spectacled man said, holding his hand out to help pull the informant off the floor.
"Ah. Dear Shizu-chan. Always worried for others…" Izaya mused, taking the hand.
[Are you sure you're okay?]
"Yes. I'm perfectly fine," Izaya smiled at the Dullahan. Shinra observed him cautiously.
Izaya's clothes hung off his frame. His hair was disheveled, his skin paler than normal. But most alarming were his eyes. They looked at Shinra, but didn't seem to actually see him. The carmine orbs were glazed over, half in reality and half not. The doctor had seen that look before. He had seen psychotics use the same distant stare. Shinra turned to Celty.
"Celty, could you be so kind as to make Izaya some lunch? I doubt he'll eat if we leave him be," he smiled at his lover. She nodded.
"You guys seriously don't know when you're not wanted, do you?" Izaya asked scathingly. He was met with a grin from the doctor.
"Shizuo seemed genuinely concerned for you this morning. I can see why now. Either you eat what Celty makes, or I'll make you eat it."
"Mmm, trying to force things in my mouth now, Shinra? Sorry, I never knew you were so kinky," Izaya purred. The doctor rolled his eyes at him.
"It's only been a few days since your check-up, but you look worse than I remember," Shinra observed, taking the raven's arm and rolling the sleeve up to examine the slashes. They were scabbed over in some places, but still feebly bleeding in others.
"They're still cut open!" Shinra hissed.
"They're itchy. I can't help it." Izaya shrugged.
"Come here," Shinra sighed, pulling the raven toward his medical bag. He pulled out some ointment and some fresh bandages and began to treat the wounds.
"Shinra…why do you go so far for me?" Izaya asked suddenly.
"I'm a doctor. I do what I can for all my patients," he replied as he continued to work.
"…Thank you…"
Shinra blinked in surprise, and looked at the informant, unsure if he had heard right. Since when did Izaya thank anyone?
"You're welcome…" he muttered in response.
Celty was setting the table, announcing in her silent way that lunch was ready. Shinra led the raven to the table, helping him to a chair. He didn't know why, but Izaya seemed to be so…feeble.
"I can walk, you know," Izaya said dryly, picking up his chopsticks.
"I know that," the doctor responded, picking up his own utensils and eating what his lover had made for him. He observed as the smaller man picked at his food without actually trying to eat it.
"Izaya," Shinra warned.
"I'm just trying to see if it's actually edible. I've never seen someone cook with shadows before," he grinned cheekily up at Celty.
[Shinra says he likes my cooking…]
"I do! You cook the best!" Shinra said to his fiancée earnestly, shoving more food into his mouth as if to prove it. Izaya continued to pick at his plate. Celty finally had enough. She wrapped the man in her shadows and held his head still while the doctor forced some food into his mouth. Izaya glared at them, struggling against the bonds. Eventually, he settled down and chewed, but his glare remained.
"I'll do it myself…" he hissed quietly. Celty released him.
"Obviously not, or you wouldn't be losing so much weight," Shinra stated calmly.
"Stop treating me like a child! I'm a grown man, I don't need to be babysat! And you can tell the protozoan that, too!" Izaya yelled, slamming his hands on the table.
[Shizuo didn't send us here to baby-sit. He sent us to make sure you were alright, and you're not. Stop acting like a child and you won't be treated like one.]
Izaya narrowed his eyes at her dangerously. Shinra had seen that look too many times before in Izaya's eyes. The informant was livid.
"Easy, Izaya. Just eat, please…" the doctor said gently, pointing to the barely touched plate. The raven stubbornly picked up the sticks and took little amounts at a time. Still, it was progress, Shinra decided.
After Izaya had eaten what little he did, Shinra and Celty stood to leave. Once he reached the door, the doctor turned around.
"Will we see you at our party in a few days?" he asked.
"If you don't force feed me," Izaya snarled, still angry.
"Take care of yourself until then…okay?" Shinra pleaded.
"Goodbye," Izaya waved them out, not looking up. He heard the door click. Izaya stood from his chair and placed the dishes in the sink. He trudged to his couch and sat upside down on it, his legs over the top and his head nearing the floor. He swung his legs around in the air, trying to entertain himself. He was still bored to death.
Standing outside the bar once more, Shizuo answered his phone when it began ringing.
"Yeah?" he asked gruffly.
"Shizuo, we just left Izaya's. Wow," Shinra's voice said through the speaker.
"Was he okay?" Shizuo asked worriedly.
"If okay's the word for it. He was so out of it. I don't think he even recognized us for a few minutes."
The blond blew out some smoke, his stomach clenching tightly at the words.
"We force fed him though," Shinra continued brightly. Shizuo choked on his smoke with laughter.
"Did you really? Oh, he won't be happy about that," he laughed, picturing the informant's angry stare.
"Yeah. He wouldn't eat it willingly. I really don't understand what's going on with him. He looks like a psych ward patient. He stared at me like he was looking through me. I've seen that stare before."
"You have?" Shizuo asked warily, hoping Shinra wasn't piecing the puzzle together.
"Yeah. It's the stare of a madman."
Shizuo hung up shortly after, not wanting to hear anymore. He was worried enough for the other man without having to hear all of the other stuff Shinra was spouting. He didn't understand why he was doing so much better and Izaya was losing it. He hadn't heard the voices in his head for days now. It was actually…soothing to have his thoughts to himself for once.
He glanced up as Tom exited the bar, completely sober this time.
"Eh, he paid willingly. Good thing I guess, since you look pissed off enough without fighting him," Tom said as he observed his bodyguard.
"I…need to go really soon. Is that okay?" Shizuo asked.
"Yeah, sure. We're done for now anyway," Tom replied, dismissing him.
Shizuo went inside the apartment, looking for the informant. Izaya was on the couch, sprawled out wildly again. Shizuo strode over to him, leaning down to help him up. He stopped when he saw Izaya's face.
The raven was staring into space, seeing nothing. He looked like a mannequin; it looked like he wasn't even blinking. Alarmed, Shizuo forced him onto the cushions, pressing his body against Izaya's. Carmine eyes lit up again.
"Shizu-chan? When did you get back?" Izaya asked, wrapping his arms around the brute's neck, nuzzling him.
"Just now… I was worried…" Shizuo admitted. Why not be honest now? What did he have to lose?
"Mmm. I'm glad you're home," Izaya said absently. Mocha eyes widened. The informant just implied that this was Shizuo's home, too. Did he even realize what he said? Probably not… Nonetheless, Shizuo's heart sped up.
"Heh, your heart rate increased. Do you like holding me so much?" Izaya laughed.
Shizuo felt himself blushing at the blatant question.
"I do," he responded. The raven's red eyes stared up at him wearily.
"Shizu-chan's so cute," he purred, stroking the other man's face with his fingertips. Shizuo brought their faces together, their lips moving in silent rhythm.
At least when they were kissing, Izaya seemed to be himself. Maybe he just needed to keep busy or something. But Shizuo knew deep down that the edge Roppi had informed him of was nearing closer. He didn't know when Izaya would fall, but he knew it was coming. And he knew Izaya would fall hard.
He just had to catch him when he did.
Sachi: Aww~! Izzy's losing it guys! The story should start moving faster now. Like I said, we're over halfway done. I'm not sure how many more chapters there will be, since I'm making all of this up as I go. But, we still have some ways to go!
Tsugaru: Since I haven't been in the postscript yet, it's up to me to make sure you all review.
Sachi: What do reviewers get?
Tsugaru:…I haven't gotten that far yet…
Psyche: Reviewers get a bucket of fried chicken and brand new underwear!
Sachi:…Psyche…No ma'am.
