a/n: in celebration of frozen 2... there's nsfw time! ALSO if anyone wants to talk to me and discuss stuff, come find me on my tumblr: not-rotting . Tumblr. Com
Anna was hesitant. Even after Meg had left, the muscles on her fingers stiffened, almost like they didn't want Anna to talk to her wife, didn't even want Anna to hear how her wife was doing. The slight relaxation and relief Meg had given her quickly grown heavier the more time had passed. The more she stared at the blank screen of her phone, the more she felt obligated to call to sooth the complete regret and shame in her heart, but she just couldn't.
Anna didn't want to call Meg back in to help her find her courage, no. She was an adult, she didn't need anyone - her girlfriend especially - to babysit her. But it seemed fitting now because Anna felt like a child who was afraid to admit her wrongdoing. Except… she wasn't wrong. She was afraid.
But what am I scared of? Rejection? Her anger? Her worry? Perhaps, Elsa had gone to meet another person. That's absurd. She wouldn't.
She swallowed, taking a deep breath, her head tilted up to the ceiling. Anything to calm her down. Slowly, she turned her phone on and was immediately bombarded with text notifications from Elsa this past week. Meg, as well.
At around 12PM, she realized Elsa must have been having lunch at home, or perhaps, outside… but after what happened a week ago, she doubted Elsa was fully healed enough to be comfortable getting out of the house.
With that thought in mind, she called her wife, placing her phone against her ear. For the first time in quite a long time, Anna felt nervous.
Her mental health hadn't been too great lately. But as much as she wanted to mope around for some 'reflection time', she had other things to take care of, and that also meant she needed to care for her wife. She needed this, or else, she would never be able to stop thinking about it for the rest of her life.
Ten seconds later, Elsa answered the phone. Anna felt herself starting to sweat. "Anna? Anna, is that you? Gods, you got me worried sick."
That much was evident in Elsa's trembling voice. Anna wasn't sure if she should be grateful or even pitiful that someone like Elsa would be this worried about her. She sighed, smiling to herself. "Hey, Elsa. Sorry." Is that really all I can say? Sorry? Anna held herself back from smacking herself silly.
"Anna…" she sighed, "it's been a week. You can't ignore me." Why are they saying the same fucking thing?
She swiped her hand over her hair, gazing at the trash-ridden floor. She pulled her left leg over her chest, stretching out her other. If she could have a smoke, she would… only, she wished she could smoke to numb what she was feeling. Drinking was tiring. It was always the same, and every time she drank, the more she drowned in her misery, the more she remembered Elsa. "I'm not…" she whispered.
"Tell me how you really feel, Anna."
"I can't," she breathed.
"Why not? Anna, I want to see you."
Anna sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "Look, there are so many things… I still need to figure out."
"You can't keep doing this."
"You and Meg always know what to say. I'm fine. Just… give me a day or two."
"Anna, you know I can't help but worry. I just want you to be happy."
She pressed her lips against her knee, gazing down emptily. She knew she had to make an effort to be happy. Why couldn't she? What had changed? Elsa was safe, her son was safe… and, yet, Anna wasn't budging. She swallowed. Perhaps, she just needed a push to try. Her eyes shut, lips pursed tightly together. It was the least she could do. "I know. How's everything? How are your bruises?" She needed a change in subject.
"It's fading. Slowly, but… I can manage."
"I'm sorry."
"No, you're my hero, Anna. I wouldn't have done the same. Olaf sees you the same way as well."
Anna chuckled, almost bashful, almost in disbelief. "Well, I wonder how long that is going to last before he begins to see me as a burden."
"Anna, you know he won't, don't say things like that."
"I know." She hugged herself tighter. "Anyway, I… I'm fine. I had a lot of things to take in, but… I'm taking your advice. Resting, you know?"
"Anna, but for a week?"
"Don't worry. I know it's time to get up," she laughed, rocking herself slightly. Even now, she still held onto her playful personality. She realized Elsa didn't seem too convinced. She listened to the woman sigh, almost too forcefully. "Didn't you want to see me?"
"Of course I want to see you, Anna. I don't want you to lie just to make me not worry, that's all."
Anna didn't deny it. She sat up straight. This time, she really was going to try her best to be happy. Elsa would like that. After everything… any kind of light talk would be perfect. "Elsa, you… really need to take a chill pill."
"I'll take a 'chill pill' when I see you. Olaf misses you."
Ah, her boy. How could she forget about her boy? "Why don't you bring him here? We can talk."
A few moments of shuffling later, "Honey, it's Mama! Come talk with her for a bit! … Mama?!"
Oh, the sweet, urgent voice of his. Anna's heart immediately started melting. She missed him so dearly, she wished she could have him in her arms already. She couldn't remember the last time she had heard the joy in her son's voice. Well, in fact, she didn't feel deserving to hear such urgency when she knew she had disciplined him in such a way that she never would have thought she would discipline him. "Hey, sweetie. How are you doing?" she asked, her voice softer than a feather.
"Good! Mama, I missed you…"
"I know. I do too."
"Mama, have you been home? Mom said you've been home all week. Are you okay?"
"Mama's okay," she laughed. "I feel more energized now that I'm hearing your voice. Have you been good?"
"Yes! I'm good! I took care of Mom nice and good!"
"Great job." She fidgeted in her spot, biting her bottom lip. "Mama… is sorry for what happened. But I'm glad you two are okay. Especially, you, baby. I can't let anything happen to you."
For a moment, Olaf didn't say anything. The phone echoed with a few sounds of what seemed like whispering. Then giggles. Anna knew it wasn't just Olaf speaking to himself.
"Yes, Mama, I know. You're big and strong, and one day, I want to be like you so that I can protect you and Mom from danger as well!"
At that, Anna had a burst of humble and bashful laughter. She knew Olaf would be the type of child to say something like this, but she didn't expect him to really say it. Admiration had always been strong in Olaf's personality. But then again, he could admire his stuffed animal just because they kept him company at home.
She listened as her son continue to talk, and her door creaked open just slightly from a breeze of wind. It wasn't cold, but Meg must have opened the window as well. She gazed down at her knees, hugging them tightly to her arms. "Olaf, Mama is always proud of you, you know that?"
"Yes!"
"Good, now bring Mom over so I can talk to her."
"But Mamaaaa ~"
"I will see you soon, honey. Alright?"
"Okay…" A few seconds of fumbling sounded, only for a different familiar voice to pick up. "Olaf has been asking about you all week, you know?" Elsa sighed, prompting the small smile that Anna had to disappear. It wasn't right to disappear, she realized. For Olaf, she would do anything. Though, this past week… she had become a coward to her family. Where was that anger and… willingness that she had back then? Maybe I've just ran out of fuel.
But she was glad to hear Olaf was missing her. She was afraid her little boy would be afraid of her after that night. After his… punishment. Yes, it was small and it was necessary, but as a parent that had only hit her child once? She feared his rejection. "Elsa," she started, licking her lip, "I haven't… done wrong, have I?"
"Oh, darling, of course not. Anna… You've done so much. You don't have to take on this burden all by yourself. Anna, I miss you."
Ah. She wanted to hear those words coming out of her lips. She could see it - all the worry, the love… the sense of wanting to make things right. What more could Anna ask for? What more did Anna need to energize herself once more?
"Will you let me see you, Anna?"
After hearing everything, how can I deny her? "Yeah… yeah, of course."
She could picture the smile that Elsa had as well. "Good. Thank you. Tomorrow night, perhaps?"
"Tomorrow night," she agreed. Oddly, hearing that made her feel nervous. Excited. What am I, still in high school? But this was a good thing - their relationship was finally mending back together, as fragile as it was.
She came out of her room an hour later after taking her time to shower, to clean up, to make sure her bed was tidied. She wasn't sure how she was feeling. There was… a mix of emotions - comfort, happiness, nervousness - and when she left the room, when she noticed Meg in the kitchen from the hallway, the overwhelming comfort that she felt made itself at home in Anna, and that was all she was feeling.
There wasn't much that she wanted to say to Meg. She was thankful. She felt comforted. She felt loved. And seeing her lover in the kitchen… cooking her food, cleaning the dishes… never made her feel so at home.
How could she ever miss this? How could she ever say she deserved this? She knew she didn't. Oh, but how she craved that kind of love again, and she had it. It wasn't something she could let go.
She was happy with this life. She wanted this life. And with her arms crossed, observing her beautiful lover cook… she couldn't think of anything else in return for all the love that Meg had given her. It was a pity, really.
She swallowed, silently coming up to the brunette, her side leaning against the counter. "Hey."
Meg immediately turned. Silence. The smile that Anna was expecting… well, quite a big smile, wasn't there. It was small. Almost… looking pitiful. "Hey," Meg responded.
"I cleaned everything. Still cooking? It smells nice." She chuckled, tending back to cooking.
"It won't take long," Anna slowly stepped towards her back, arms wrapping around Meg's waist, "I'm glad you're feeling better. How did the talk go?"
Anna leaned in, kissing her neck. Mm… it's been a while. "It was… alright. Elsa wants to see me."
"I see."
"Are you… opposed to it?"
"No, not at all," she laughed, turning the stove off before turning back to Anna. Her eyes were so soft, so accepting. It made Anna feel like… nothing was ever wrong. And with Meg's tender hand running along her cheek, her thumb on Anna's lips… it confirmed that feeling even more. With silent joy constricted in Anna's heart, she grabbed her lover's wrist with gentle touches, rubbing her fingers on her skin. "I think… after everything, I see you've truly moved on. I'm proud of you. And I know Elsa's proud of you too."
She nodded. "She told me that."
Meg gazed down, eyes wandering off. A glimmer of a gentle light in Meg's eyes hypnotized Anna. "You know… when she brought Olaf to school the other day, she asked about you."
"She did?" Anna wasn't sure why she was surprised. For a moment, Anna wondered if she had said something wrong for Meg to go quiet. She gazed with interest and worry, finding her lover's expression almost too difficult to read, but she knew Meg had to be contemplating her words. But it was okay. She was safe in Meg's arms, and she knew she would listen to whatever Meg had to say, and she would respond without… consequence. "Meg?"
The woman took a deep breath, running her own fingers through her hair. "There were many times that... she asked about you, you know? I would always answer her honestly, no questions asked. Because she was your wife. Because she has been in your life this whole time. I always wonder… if she still truly loves you. Or if she's only doing this for the sake of the family." Meg squinted her eyes, brows crossing… almost out of disgust. Cringing. Anna had never seen this before. And when Meg had let go… Anna stayed frozen - almost like… she didn't dare to touch her lover. Her perfect lover… because, perhaps, she had done Meg wrong. "When she asked me if it was okay that you had done this - beat Hans, took care of her, took care of Olaf… for a moment, I wasn't sure how I should answer her. I wasn't there to see it," she chuckled, placing her hand on the counter. "I wasn't there to know how you two felt. But she asked for my opinion anyway, and in the back of my head, I thought… yeah, it's ridiculous that Anna would do all of this for the sake of the family. That it was just for romantic love. I didn't say it."
"Meg -"
"Because I know the sensible thing to say was, of course, she would do this just to protect you two, no matter how hurt you were. How much burden you had to put on your shoulders. I told her that."
Anna didn't understand. But she didn't doubt the fact that… in Meg's eyes… there was fear. "What are you saying, Meg…?"
"I'm saying I'm proud of you." She gazed directly into Anna's eyes. And there was that smile Anna was waiting for. That comforting smile. But Anna just… didn't feel comforted at all. And when she felt arms hugging her, she felt more restless than ever. But she let it happen. She… wanted Meg's love. She couldn't let her go to waste. "I… had doubts. But I trust you, and you have never let me down."
"Let you down…?" Anna clenched on the hem of her shirt by her fingers.
"You're loyal, Anna. I like that about you. I just wish… Elsa could see that. I know you. I know you love Elsa. And I know you love me. And I know… it can be so hard to choose, and for me, that's okay. But promise me one thing."
"What?" Anna whispered.
"Promise me that you know that I love you, and remember that. And that I will always be by your side."
Anna didn't know how to respond. Wasn't that what they had promised from the very start that they had been together? And when she felt arms hugging her tightly, when she heard the word, 'please' whispered to her, she nodded. She knew. Sometimes… Meg had to get some comfort as well. Smiling with love, Anna placed her hand on Meg's back and nodded. "I promise."
"And promise me… you will talk to me when you feel down. Promise me that you will see me… and that it will always be me."
Anna nodded. "I promise that too." And there were a lot of promises. Promises that she knew she had to keep. Promises that she knew that would make Meg happy. That was all she wanted. And doubt? Anna knew Meg would always feel doubt no matter how many times they would say they'd trust each other.
Sighing, her lover pulled away with an accepting smile, letting her knuckles run along Anna's cheek. "That's my girl. Anyway, you should relax and watch TV. Lunch will be ready in a few minutes."
Anna immediately grabbed Meg's hand. Now was the time to be honest. But surely… how am I supposed to say this? Of course, she looked quite unsure, as well, rubbing her fingers on the back of her neck, gazing down at her feet.
"What is it?" Meg questioned.
She chewed on her lip in contemplation. "Don't… be mad. Elsa and I… are going to have dinner tomorrow night. Is that okay?"
One blink. Two blinks. A playful scoff carried out, and Anna felt a sharp flick of Meg's finger on her forehead. "Anna, after all this time, you're going to ask me that?"
"W-Well, I wasn't sure if you wanted me to go when you said all that stuff!" Her cheeks flared with heat.
"Oh, of course, you may have dinner with Elsa. Don't be ridiculous. I may be your girlfriend, but I also know where your priorities lie, Anna." She smiled, hands holding onto Anna's waist. Anna didn't doubt her words, but she did feel uneasy about it. It was just… too perfect! Too easy! But that was what Anna wanted right? For Meg to… accept Elsa's relationship with her… to accept the fact that Anna was going to always be a part of Elsa's life.
She sighed, biting her lip. Maybe it is time to wake up from this fantasy land.
"Anna."
"Yeah?" Their eyes met.
"I just wish you to be happy, Anna. Always."
The bar was filled with people, but Anna was glad she was able to reserve herself a seat and one for her wife. The music wasn't too loud, but over to the dance floor, she could see that people were really having the time of their lives that evening. The place wasn't awfully dark with the bar being beautifully dimmed by candle lights and a few lamps dangling from above. It wasn't… quite a romantic place to be in, but romance wasn't what she was striving for right now. Not when she was wearing her work clothes.
Anna had just gotten a glass of rum by herself as she waited for her wife to come. It wasn't taking too long. Perhaps, she had been waiting for half an hour, but it was something she was used to. Especially when Olaf had to be taken care of.
She sighed the moment she noticed her phone vibrating on the table. The screen brightly announced Meg's name and a few words from her text, which she quickly swiped to open:
"Have fun tonight. I'll be eating steak and mash potatoes without you. I bet it's better than what you're having."
Anna chuckled to herself. "I bet," she typed back. She took a small sip of her drink, the glass clinking gently with cubes of ice inside. She hadn't gotten a text from Elsa yet, saying when she would arrive. If anything, she was growing a little bit impatient, until she felt a tap on her shoulder.
"Sorry I kept you waiting. Is this seat occupied?"
What the… Anna's eyes widened, turning. She thought she was dreaming.
Her heart nearly stopped pounding, and all her body could ever do was freeze at the sight. She probably didn't even swallow her rum and let it drip out of her mouth like a complete idiot. But God damn.
She had tuned everything out when she noticed the way Elsa was dressed. Breathless, eyeing her wife up and down… her eyes captured the most wondrous essence of her black dress fitting perfectly around her figure - oh, her beautiful full curved - a black see-through stocking peeking out of the slit that ended up on Elsa's right thigh. Ah, and let's not forget those killer heels.
Anna quickly stood up, her head nearly tilted up fully just so she could meet with Elsa's gaze. Though, the warming light was dimmed enough that Elsa wouldn't be able to see the pinkness spreading on her cheeks. "O-Oh my God, I feel so overdressed…"
The blonde chuckled, fingers pushing back her luscious blonde fringes. Did she do her hair as well? Jesus Christ… She took the liberty to sit on the empty stool beside Anna, placing her hand purse on the bar. "It's a once in a lifetime thing. This would be the perfect opportunity. So? What do you think?"
What do I think? Is she really going to ask me that? "Y-You look…" Anna scoffed, looking around. Is anyone seeing this? "... wow."
The blonde smirked, her blue eyes gleaming with confidence. "That's what I want to hear."
Really, Anna wasn't sure what she should even say. Her eyes… she couldn't keep her eyes away from Elsa. She was just so beautiful… so sexy - and she knew she shouldn't be thinking about things like this, even on a whim - but God… when was the last time Elsa had dressed like this? For her? Even for Elsa, herself?
She swallowed, eyeing the woman's thigh, tightly wrapped with thigh-high black stockings, and she began to shake her head. Anna was just about to take her glass of rum when the blonde had quickly swiped it away for herself to drink. She gaped at the blonde in surprise, watching her down… well, the whole glass. "W-Whoa… that's… mine -"
Elsa wagged her finger at Anna, expression twisting. The burn must have been unpleasant. "No."
"What -"
"You need to stop drinking." She huffed. "I've been worried, Anna."
Ah, we're back at this again. Anna slowly looked away in frustration. Not because Elsa was repeating all the things she was saying during that phone call yesterday, but… she was angry at herself for letting herself get this bad.
She hadn't even noticed Elsa had ordered a glass of whiskey for herself, and… well, lime water for Anna. She was silent though, knowing that Elsa was staring at her… looking for an answer. But what kind of answer did she want to hear? "Y-Yeah, I…I'll stop. It's not like I'm an alcoholic."
She scoffed, looking towards the shelves of alcohol bottles, taking a sip of her own. "That's what they all say. At this point, I just hope you wouldn't be."
Anna nodded. She's right though. There were so many things that Anna wanted to ask. To say. She wasn't sure where to begin. But, perhaps, right now, she should be apologetic. Sighing, she turned her body, meeting face to face with Elsa. And while Elsa had this oblivious expression - and almost too blank of an expression - Anna felt series of emotions fighting each other on the inside.
With the tip of her fingers, she touched Elsa's knees to get her attention. "Your wounds…" she whispered. "Are they healing?"
Ah, there was that soft smile. It was so reassuring. The woman gazed down at her cup, fingers wrapping around it. "Little by little, yes. Yours is healing wonderfully. I still have to apply heavy makeup," she chuckled. But it wasn't… well, it didn't feel playful. Anna definitely was not laughing at that. And when Elsa noticed that she wasn't laughing, her expression softened, eyes avoiding Anna once again. Is this what it's going to be like from now on?
"Does it still hurt?
"Anna, I'm okay -"
"Has he come back?"
"Of course not." Elsa took the redhead's hand in her own. Squeezing. All Anna could feel was her warmth… and, dear God, she really did wish they were going to be okay from now on. She really did wish… that her wife could defend herself from now on, especially when Anna couldn't come back anymore. Not when… her home was with Meg. "Anna, you don't have to worry about stuff like this anymore -" How am I supposed to trust her words?
"Worry?" She squinted, placing her head against her palm, shaking her head. "Elsa, he raped you -"
"That's enough."
"You don't want to hear it?"
She shut her eyes, clenching her teeth. "That whole situation… has been painful for you. It has taken a toll on Olaf. On me. What is done is done, but I'm okay. I'm alive, thanks to you. Just start over, Anna. Please."
"Elsa -"
"I don't want to hear you talk about that and let yourself break even more."
That was so easy to say. She knew Elsa would say something like this. Perhaps… she had always known that Elsa would just tackle problems by avoiding them, not drive through them. What happened, yes, it wasn't easy to talk about… but how could she have known how Elsa felt?
Her throat felt constricted with so many negative emotions, she could barely let out a word. She took a deep breath, squeezing Elsa's hand. At least… the best thing to do was to promise Elsa that they would be happy. That they should have a smile on their face. And when she felt the warmth of Elsa's hand on her own… when she felt Elsa's knuckles caressing her warm cheek, she took a quick glance at her with an awfully nostalgic smile on her face. Teal eyes gleamed with tears - but they were happy tears. And they were safe.
"You're safe," Anna reassured. "I've been agonizing about that this whole week. I'm very glad I get to see you in one piece."
"And I'm glad you called me back," her wife replied.
"And Olaf? How is our baby?" Even now, I'm still worried for the kid…
She took another sip of her whiskey, pursing her lips. "He's in Tiana's place for tonight. But he's been well. He misses you a lot. Meg always told me about how he was nagging for you to come pick him up."
"Ah."
Elsa raised her eyebrows. "Are you ready to do that?"
Anna didn't answer. She scratched the back of her neck in contemplation, gazing down at their hands still being held together. In the background, the music continued to blast. But she noticed Elsa's eyes… all she noticed was her eyes, gazing back at her with expectations. Thinking was impossible when she could feel fingers rubbing on her skin.
There wasn't a single sign of… seduction in Elsa's expression, but Anna was still allured. She licked her lip. When is the last time I have felt so… at peace with her? Perhaps… Anna was lying to herself. This feeling wasn't peace. Everything from the music to the people screaming at the top of their lungs were all silenced by just the sight of Elsa's entrancing blue eyes. What is wrong with me?
Her gaping trailed down to her lips. Is it the alcohol? "I…"
Elsa's throat bobbed as she swallowed. God damn it… "You don't have to answer me now. But Olaf misses you. Okay?"
Without knowing, Anna nodded. "Of course." What was she thinking? She shouldn't be ogling. She shouldn't be thinking about her softness… how beautiful Elsa looked. And, perhaps, Elsa didn't realize it, and that… would be a relief for Anna.
She shook her head, turning around to face the counter. Everything… felt so foreign. Almost wrong. Her eyes fell to the light gleaming off the reflection of her glass of water. Sighing, she tapped her finger to the beat of the music… and she knew she was drowning herself in thoughts. Thoughts… that she never thought she would think when she was with her. In the end, all Anna wished for was for her to be happy and safe.
"Is everything okay with you and Meg?" Elsa started asking. It really was a question she didn't expect Elsa to ask.
The redhead didn't turn. Didn't answer. She sipped on her water in response instead. Her expression was stoic, letting her lips kiss the rim of the glass. She paused, placing the glass down, and for a moment, she knew she didn't like that question at all.
Yes, she cared… yes, she felt obliged to ask because Anna was her wife, but Anna simply was not interested in answering. There was nothing wrong with the question at all. Not at all. She wished… the music was loud enough to cut away the darkness of her thoughts. Fingers trailed around the rim of her glass, her head tilting in curiosity. "Elsa, are you… really not pregnant?"
"Anna?"
"I…" Her eyebrows furrowed. "If you are pregnant…" She scoffed to herself, "I'll take responsibility for the child too." She wasn't sure what to think. She couldn't bear the thought that her lovely wife was bearing a child… that came from a rapist, an abuser… a complete monster. Truth be told, she hated the fact that if… Elsa was pregnant, Anna had no say in whether her wife should keep it or not. The thought disgusted her. And Olaf? How would Olaf take this? Anna could just imagine the way Olaf would reject his smaller sibling.
Sibling… why does that sound so bad?
Elsa didn't react though. The blonde had looked away completely. At first, Anna really thought her wife was… with a child, but she knew not to jump to conclusions yet. The topic was heavy, after all. "Anna… if I were what you think I was, I would abort -"
Anna winced, squinted, shaking her head in rejection. "Oh God, don't -"
"You know I wouldn't let a child come to this world, knowing that the father is…" Elsa clenched her jaw together, eyes glistening with tears. "That he… never existed."
Anna didn't retort at all. "Are you pregnant?"
The blonde wrapped herself in her own arms. "No, of course not."
It didn't bring Anna relief at all. She wanted to ask, "how many times did he touch you like this", "how many times did he urge for a child", but she just… couldn't. She didn't want to hear it, as much, as she wanted to know the truth about everything. Surely, Elsa didn't want to talk about this either. Fine. If… the rest of their entire life was to avoid asking crucial questions and answering them, then that was what they were going to do.
She let out a breath, calming herself. There was no point in getting worked up. They were here to have a nice time. They were here to talk… to laugh and have fun. "I'm sorry. I know I get worked up. It's just..."
"Yes, you care. I know."
Anna couldn't agree more. For a second, she gazed at Elsa, and she could feel her warm hand on her own again. "Olaf… what about Olaf? Did you know?"
She raised her eyebrow. "Did I know?"
Ah. Did Olaf not talk about his punishment? Somehow, knowing that, Anna felt anxious about telling her everything. Olaf's parents… were never ones to use corporal punishment, but they were never against it. Olaf had always been a good boy, so it was Anna that felt guilty for even trying to hit the boy to get him to learn.
She cleared her throat. "That night… I found him in school. With Meg. She called me." She paused, hoping that Elsa was listening. With blue eyes already drilling into her soul, she knew she could continue talking, eyes gleaming at the light hitting the wooden counter. "You know I was so furious. I didn't think he would run. I didn't think either of us would have even considered the matter."
"Anna -"
The woman began groaning, throwing her head back. "Elsa, don't get mad at me for this."
"For what?"
"I… I spanked him. A lot."
The air almost felt so still and stiff at the same time. Anna had never felt so horrible spewing something out of her mouth like that.
The moment Elsa had raised an eyebrow at her, leaning in, as if to make sure she had heard that correctly, the pit deep inside Anna's stomach continued to drop. "You… spanked him?"
"I didn't mean it!" Anna responded. "I-I… I mean, I did… I was angry. Angry that he just went up and out like that. And, plus, with you… God," she turned away, "with you looking like that… I was so stressed out I couldn't tell you. But I realized I only did it because I needed him to learn that he's not supposed to run away like that." She paused. She knew she was saying things that didn't even make sense. "Are you… mad?"
Elsa pinched her fingers on the bridge of her nose, head faced down, her eyes closed. She could sense her frustration seeping out. But it was natural - Elsa had never done such a thing to him. Perhaps, just hearing it coming out of Anna's mouth… made this way worse. "He didn't tell me…"
Anna placed her hand on the woman's shoulder, tilting her head in concern. She must have heard those words wrong. "He… didn't tell you?"
"Anna, in your heart, you know our son keeps a lot of feelings… and secrets inside of him," she huffed, placing her arm on the counter. "I don't doubt that you only did that because you wanted to teach him a valuable lesson. I'm okay with that. But, Anna… darling, he lives in a household where his parents are divorced, his mother gets abused, his other mother is in a relationship with his teacher. Anna, I don't even want to imagine how he's feeling."
"Elsa…"
Her fingers began to caress Anna's cheek… just a moment, just a sweet soft moment, and that touch was gone. "Anna, I don't want to see a seven-year-old become depressed."
Anna understood that. She nodded, her hand falling from her wife's shoulder to her arm. Grasping. Squeezing. They both needed reassurance. "I promise, I'll spend more time with you two. I'll spend more time with him. Hey, look at me -" The blonde turned to her. Ah, her expression really softened this time. "- He's my son too. I'm sorry that I spanked him -"
"No… Anna, that is fine. A little spanking can go a long way," her lips pursed into a tight smile, "maybe go a little lighter on him next time? I hope there's no next time."
Ah, a little bit of lightheartedness. That felt good. She scratched the back of her neck with uncertainty, her smile clumsy. "Heh… yeah, I hope so. B-But I promise, I'll spend more time with you two. With Olaf. You deserve it."
Elsa nodded in approval and appreciation. "That's very good to hear. I'm glad we talked about this."
"Yeah."
"You never answered me. What happened yesterday?"
"Oh," Anna fidgeted, and her uneasiness continued to seep through her laughter, "Meg really… scolded me. She's fine. Just worried. For me, I mean."
"And she let you out?"
"Yeah, I mean…" She shrugged. "It's just the two of us. She knows the kind of relationship we have with each other."
Elsa paused for a moment, and as Anna gazed at her… there was a small gleam of concern? Worry? Perhaps… desperation? Oh, Anna was done being desperate though.
"She trusts you that much, doesn't she?" she asked, her voice soft, her words spoken slowly. But Anna could hear it clearly.
To be quite honest, she wasn't sure. Trust? Oh, they trusted each other. But for a long time, Anna wondered how long that trust was going to stay strong until it started to waver. How long was that trust going to start looking like desperation - that they were just hanging on to a relationship that felt so bleak? She didn't… want to think about it. Didn't want to test it. Didn't want to lose the only thing that put a smile on her face.
"Yeah, she trusts me. Sometimes, I don't think I deserve her."
"Why?"
The woman shrugged, entwining her fingers together. "It's just… I haven't really done anything for her. She always takes care of me even though I never asked - I mean, you probably don't even want to hear this."
"Anna, she is good for you."
She couldn't deny that. "Yeah, she is -"
"Hey, ladies." The two were completely interrupted, turning to see a man with a beer in one hand, another running through his - seemingly, luscious hair. His lips pursed into a snarky grin as well. Anna wasn't sure how she was supposed to react. He must have been drunk, or crazy, or… oh, whatever, he was going to leave anyway.
And deciding to disregard him, she grabbed her water and took a sip. She looked away, admiring the bottles placed on the shelves. This guy better not cause any trouble.
"Hello, blondie, you look beautiful tonight," he purred. "Would you like to join me and my boys?"
Anna immediately spit her water out, choking. Her eyebrow quickly quirked up in shock as she turned, eyeing the two like a statue. She especially gazed at Elsa. Who was laughing? What?
Oh, what did Anna expect, really? Elsa was bisexual and very much single. After getting rejected by Anna, of course, she would want to have a little bit of fun with someone else. And so quickly too. Not that it mattered.
Out of annoyance, once those blue eyes - almost amused - met with hers, Anna looked away. Oh, I wish I can have a fucking drink.
"Oh, no, I… I'm spending the time with a friend right now," Elsa responded. Though it was too soft for Anna's liking. And the way she smiled at him. Gods. Anna almost wanted to puke.
The man turned to Anna, raising an eyebrow. "Hm, I guess she's not so bad -" What the fuck? "- Maybe you can bring your friend along? We're gonna go to a concert in a bit." I'm going to punch his stupid grin off his face.
"No, thank you."
"Aw, come on, hottie. You don't want to have a little fun?"
"Actually -"
"Or would you rather have fun with me alone? That can be arranged. God, you're so beautiful…"
Elsa immediately sighed, eyelids shutting. And while Anna hadn't said a single thing, that one reaction completely caught Anna by surprise. "No."
"No?"
"I don't want to have fun with you or your friends. Back off. I tried to be nice about it, but you just kept insisting. Go bother someone else, you're not worth my time."
That's a surprise.
At this moment, Anna knew how much of a line Elsa had crossed. Oh, that fragile thin line.
His face flared red with embarrassment, hearing his friends laugh in the background. His body and height towered over Elsa, his arm raised in the air. "You -"
Seeing that from the corners of her eyes, Anna quickly stood, grabbed her wife by her arm, another wrapped around her waist, pulling Elsa's back to stand against her front with such force. Anna wasn't even thinking. Didn't even hear the small yelp coming from Elsa's mouth, nor did she noticed how wide her eyes grew.
From behind Elsa's shoulders, the redhead's teal eyes glowed with possessiveness. Anger. Jealousy. Enough was enough. She couldn't allow someone else to take advantage of Elsa anymore.
"Didn't you hear her? Back. Off," she growled lowly, arms wrapped tightly around Elsa's slender wrist.
"Anna…"
"Pft, who the hell are you? I don't want you. I just want -"
"You arrogant bastard, if you even fucking lay a single hand on my girl, I won't hesitate to beat the hell out of you. Go have fun with someone else."
"What -"
"I'm warning you. Back. Off."
The man scoffed, crossing his bulky arms. "Whatever, lesbians. You're already too much of a hassle to handle anyway." He began shuffling back to where he came from, but that didn't stop Anna from burning his back with her threatening eyes. She had never felt so… enraged by the fact that someone was trying to speak and have fun with her wife. And until he was gone from her sight, she continued hold Elsa close to her -
"Anna… you can let go now."
She blinked. She realized… what kind of position they were in immediately, but her eyes just couldn't help but gaze down at that beautiful figure so close up against her body. Quickly letting go like it burned, she looked away. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "A-Are you alright?"
The blonde smiled, her fingers running through her hair. "Of course. You saved the night again."
"O-Oh, that?" she scoffed. "That was nothing."
"Your girl, hm?" Elsa crossed her arms, cocking her head to one side in amusement.
Anna wanted to smack her head. She knew Elsa was teasing just looking at how she wiggled her brows. Playful Elsa could sometimes be… too much. She groaned. "Sorry, it was just… on a whim."
"Mm," she nodded, amusingly, "well, thank you for being 'on a whim'. He probably wouldn't have let it go."
"Yeah. I mean… you get a lot of that, I bet."
"Well, you would know. You were one of them." Elsa winked. Oh God, did she really have to remind me of our first meeting? "Anyway, should we get going? I don't think you'd want his buddies to come by."
"O-Oh yeah. Let me just…" Anna quickly pulled out her credit card to pay. Before long they were out the door… and knowing that Elsa couldn't drive from all the drinking, they decided to take a cab.
Getting home, as the night grew darker and bleaker… the only light source was from the automatic lighting from the front entrance of the house. It was weird. These days, she was never really home just with Elsa. They were always accompanied by Olaf.
Standing by the entrance awkwardly, Anna gaped at her wife's back as Elsa began to unlock her door. "Do you want to come in and sit?"
Anna held out a hand as a refusal. "No, thank you. I should get back soon. Meg must be asleep already."
"I see." A step of her heels clinked down from the step to Anna. She sighed, gazing down at her feet. "Thank you for tonight. I'm very glad we talked."
"Yeah," Anna pursed her lips to a smile, her hands slipping into her pockets. "Do you… want me to take Olaf home tomorrow?"
Elsa simply chortled lightly. "Of course. He's yours to take."
"Okay, that's… that's good." She paused. "You'll… be okay, won't you?" Even now, Anna still had the heart to worry for her.
With a reassuring smile and a small nod, Elsa whispered, "thank you."
Anna didn't get to react. Perhaps, she didn't want to when she felt a hand cup her cheek, and she could feel foreign - but warm… a very welcoming warm - lips painting her other cheek with a small gentle kiss. But she could feel it all - her whole body heating… and it wasn't like Elsa had arms wrapped around her, or her body was right against her own. But the feeling of the blonde's perfect button nose brushing on Anna's skin, how Elsa tapped her finger on her heated cheek… how slow the woman was breathing against her hair... sent her to a new high. Everything had stilled. Everything… except them.
She welcomed it, she got lost in it… and when Elsa simply pulled away slowly, Anna merely eyed her wife blankly.
"Good night, Anna," the blonde smiled, her voice light as a feather. It was a rather tender smile, but all was lost when Elsa had pulled her hand away. Her fingers tingled. Her skin prickled with goosebumps, and while Elsa had only taken a small step back… she seemed so far away.
She was silent, raising her hand, fingers carefully tracing the small contact of Elsa's lips tattooed on her freckles. She could trace it all day, but she couldn't leave Elsa hanging. Smiling - rather, it was quite a fake smile - she waved. "Good night."
Oh, she really wished Elsa would have a good night. She stood in front of the entrance like an idiot - a fool still stuck in place with one person, so desperately blinded by just one person - and the door had finally shut.
Alone, she watched the lights in the house turn on. I guess… I should get going. She sighed, rubbing the fingers on the back of her neck. She shouldn't have to feel so bothered. So… needy. It was just a kiss on the cheek. They had kissed plenty of times - many just on a whim, and they never did care. And I shouldn't care now.
The door to Anna's home shut softly without any disturbance. She didn't expect the lights to be on, but the kitchen gleamed warmly, bleeding into the living room. The curtains were opened, and she could see the building across from her through the balcony. The night was not young anymore.
She eyed the kitchen, coming closer to the counter. A small note caught her eyes: "food is in the fridge if you're hungry. I'll be sleeping… come wake me when you're home, love.
Anna wasn't so hungry. She remained quiet, reading the note over and over again. It was just a simple note. It was the fact… that she realized there was a conflicting feeling nagging her. Now, that… wasn't so simple. She couldn't forget about it - the way Elsa talked to her tonight… the way Elsa kissed her on the cheek. In the back of her mind, she knew… this was all on purpose. After all, how could anyone ever forget that she had been the one to reject her wife? How could she ever forget that Elsa… promised that she had changed? She had seen it - all of it.
Elsa had changed. When Anna expected her to go along with that man, she rejected him. When she expected Elsa to be mad about her for speaking about Meg, she was the one to ask how Anna's lover was. Oh, how hard was she trying to prove Anna wrong? That she had a heart?
She swallowed, crumbling the paper in a ball in her hand. With soft footsteps, she walked to the guest room where the door was closed. Meg had to be sleeping there. And her guess was correct once she had opened the door and noticed a bundle of brown hair and arms sticking out of the blanket in the dark.
Anna couldn't help smiling. She must be that exhausted huh? She yawned, shutting the door closed. I guess I should get ready for bed soon…
For half an hour, Anna took her time to take a shower before getting to bed. Still, there were so much to do, even at home. The least she could do was check her emails for any important updates from work.
With just a t-shirt and panties on, she strode towards her laptop in her room to check, taking it to bed with her. There weren't many emails this past couple of days, but Weselton had always had a strict policy of making sure his employees check on their emails frequently.
Scratching her head, almost bored out of her mind, Anna logged out of her email account when she saw nothing but yesterday's emails. He really just likes making a big deal about everything huh? Anna scoffed to herself -
Beep.
Her mouse cursor had just hovered over the 'shut down' button until a single message popped up on the top right corner of her screen. She eyed the person in question. Elsa?
Anna wasn't going to waste any time. She clicked on the message:
"I hope you're sleeping soon. I can't sleep. I've been thinking about you. I know everything's complicated right now. I feel like a teenage girl… thinking about how you held me back there, away from that man. It was just… perfect. You don't know how hard my heart pounded. I don't want to say anything too uncomfortable for the both of us. For you especially. But I wanted to say thank you again. I just want to let you know… I love you, honey. Good night."
I love you… I love you? Does she really?
Her heart swelled, pounding like she had just been born to this world. Always… Elsa was always doing something new. Always catching Anna off guard even when they were here to speak to one another. She was tempted to call Elsa. She was tempted to respond. Her eyes began to glisten with tears, but they were tears of joy. Perhaps, even delusion.
Every word sounded better than the next the more she continued to repeatedly read it. Every word… sounded exactly like how Elsa would say it. Every word… sounded like Meg.
She swallowed, staring at the screen blankly. She hadn't moved from her spot, almost like those words kept tugging her back in. Her heart… was pounding, ever so slowly, and her eyes… were not able to look away as if those words were actually Elsa speaking in person. She could hear that voice - so soft… whispering… and Anna always loved it when Elsa whispered to her. The redhead felt her head spin. She had completely lost her god damn mind, but she embraced it.
She had never felt like this before, and whatever this was… Anna wanted more.
Every tiny thought was occupied by Elsa… by her words, by the way she smiled… and how caring Elsa was to her today. The desperation that she thought Elsa had, had gone completely unknown, and all Anna could know was the love in her eyes.
Her throat felt dry, and it hurt to swallow. It hurt… to simply not imagine her wife speaking to her like this. And it wasn't just love that she was picturing. It was heaven.
Tonight… was awfully splendid. Her cheek still burned pleasant from that one kiss. Her skin pricked with delight when she remembered how Elsa touched her… how those fingers caressed her with reassurance. Her mind was hypnotized by her attentive ocean blue eyes that contrasted so beautifully with the dim light in the bar. And they were the only thing that shined so beautifully. How her figure would sway and curve so wonderfully, fitting perfectly in such a sexy black dress. How her thigh would ever so often… peek out for Anna to see. How she could make Anna fall into pieces just like that.
She leaned back against the headboard, her mind clouded with thoughts… thoughts of desire… thoughts of Elsa. In the back of her mind… she knew what she wanted to do to those stockings of hers. She knew what she wanted to do to that dress. She felt so overwhelmed until now.
And Anna… let herself drown in the sea of lusting thoughts. While she was quiet, she could hear the soft echoing sound of music from the window outside, how the cars zoomed by, how people were yelling and laughing. They must be having quite a party… and for Anna, this was her party. This was her fun - thinking about someone that had been wanting her… Thinking about the person that kissed her cheek, as if to hint something.
Anna wanted that.
Her fingers were automatic, typing on the laptop keyboard. In a less than a second, the screen was filled with erotic images and videos. Her eyes were glazed… her mind and her emotions sending her an out-of-body experience. And she felt nothing but her soul ascending to the heavens… and, perhaps, she should have been in hell for this. Her breathing was slow, her heart drumming against her chest. In front of her eyes, she was seeing nothing but bare flesh entangling with each other.
There was so much going on. Her breathing hitched… her fingers hovering over the keyboard. All rational thoughts had been thrown out the window, and through the heavy atmosphere… she typed in, "hot blondes".
Click. The first video she noticed popped up… and everything seemed like a blur. The light of the screen surrounded her darkened room, and everything… was just slow. Her body had relaxed, and she had put her laptop aside. Her body… had grown hot. Heavy. And she could feel everything from the air that brushed against her skin… her own finger tips roaming on her stomach.
Her eyes… didn't move away from the screen, where a woman had sat on the couch, touching herself. Her ears didn't block out the sensual moans that filled the room. She longed for it. Became desperate for it. It sounded so fake, but it didn't matter. She was up in heaven. Her eyelids fluttered, and her lips let out a sigh.
Everything felt so light, her body floating, her mind… drowning. And her fingers tingled at the first touch of the soft cotton of her own panties. She bent her legs up, her head laid back against the pillow, and it was music to her ears… the way that actress moaned. Why? She sounded nothing like Elsa.
But she pictured it. Eyeing the empty ceiling, she painted a canvas there with her imaginations. With Elsa. How Elsa would move for her. How Elsa would touch her. Plead for her. How those blue eyes would shine with desire for her… how Elsa would whisper, her voice rasped, if Anna liked what she was doing. And Anna… would give her all that she had.
Fingers slowly climbed down to her core - oh, how soaked she felt, how sensitive it was. She moaned, head tilting back, her free hand crawling in her own hair, her luscious lips spread open… and she didn't hold back. She wanted someone to hear. She wanted Elsa to hear. She wanted Elsa to praise her…
To love her…
To make her body sear with desire.
She could feel her body flush at the first touch of her fingers on her clit. She lowered one leg straight on the bed, her head tilted to the side, and all she continued to do was pleasure herself. One sigh was let out. One single moan. Her slender back trembled at the first touch. That was all she wanted. Slow strokes… filled with the thoughts of her wife touching her. Thoughts of Elsa speaking sweet soft nothingness - and, perhaps, she would say incredibly dirty and sensual things to her. Oh, Anna would be pleased.
Only, as she continued to think about Elsa - pleasuring her body as if Elsa had been pleasuring her - her wonderful brunette lover filled her crazed mind, just as sensual… just as beautiful, bare from any clothes, eyes eliciting nothing but Anna's lust.
"Ah…" she moaned, her chest heaving. I'm screwed... Her hips began to buck against her fingers. Oh, she was a greedy woman. She was… such a desperate woman. Both women had her down on her knees… and she was left in the dark, imagining her lovers caress her body with their own bareness. Their tender touch roaming across Anna's body.
She moaned louder, squirming at her own touch. Please… "Oh God, please…" she begged, but for who? Her eyebrows furrowed, tears squeezing through the corners. How could I choose…?
Unbeknownst to her… distracted from her own thoughts, her own touch… her door had opened, and her lover watched from afar. One step at a time… closer to Anna, and when the redhead could feel a shadow looming over her, she opened her eyes.
She froze completely, eyes widening. "Meg -"
"Welcome home, sweet heart."
Everything happened so fast. The woman had gotten on top of her, her waist placed between her knees where she knelt on the bed. She was silent, listening to the faint moans in the background… and Gods, she couldn't miss the sight.
She watched as Meg's thin fingers gently unbuttoned her shirt. One by one… her collar was revealed, her sharp shoulders were revealed… her perfectly rounded breasts, her soft arching stomach. And Anna had lost her breath at the beauty, at the angel that was Meg. Her lover had always had a great body and curves that deserved to be held and touched.
Oh, but Anna knew… she knew how greedy she was. She knew how much of a masochist she was to continue to feel this pain - this tug of war between two women wanting her, and she was the rope. She loved the attention… she loved the way Meg gazed at her. She loved the way Meg's fingers danced on her skin…
But at the same time, she wished her lover would not look at her. She wished her lover wouldn't shed a smile for her… dance for her. And when her lips fell open… feeling foreign, but welcomingly warm hands brushing down from her chest… Meg placed a finger against her lips to silence Anna.
And she stayed still. Meg had slowly leaned in against her, body against body… legs entangled with each other… and as the silence between them went on, she felt lips pressed against her own. Hands holding her cheeks. Hips rolling against her own.
What is happening to me…? Her eyes gazed at the lust in Meg's eyes… and her head was spinning in a sea of despair. Tears continued to fall… and those tears continued to be born for Meg. Her hands embraced her lover's waist, as she felt lips finally ravishing her neck, tongue tasting every last bit of her like the whole world was starving for Anna. And Anna accepted it… as she was starved for warmth.
She embraced her, arms wrapped around Meg's back, nails digging into her skin. She wanted to mark. She wanted to hurt. She wanted to love.
"I love you," her lover whispered, and in the corner of Anna's eyes, she could see the tears that were glistening in eyes… on her cheeks… and they definitely were not hers. And when she felt lips kissing her… worshiping her, Anna merely gave in with a soft moan. Anna… returned it with nothing but tears, a small desperate gasp, and one broken kiss.
"Meg…"
"It's your night, honey… Let me take care of you. Let me take care of you…"
