Natsu rolled over, feeling a familiar fluffy material pressed against his face. He got up, figuring that Lucy must have kicked him out of her bed again, to find the room completely dark.
There was no light in the space, not even from the large window or the desk lamp. He turned to the desk, expecting Lucy to have fallen asleep on the wooden surface while writing again, but he found he couldn't even see that. He moved forward, reaching out for the wooden material.
His foot connected with something soft and warm. Was someone sleeping on the floor? No one ever does that.
(Other than him. He's always sleeping on the floor, thanks to Lucy.)
He nudged the body with his foot again, wondering if it was Gray and he could get away with kicking him.
Natsu made to nudge the person again, but a hand closed around his ankle. It was too big and too calloused to be Gray's hand, and the fingers were too thick to be Erza's.
"Put your God-damned foot in my side one more time, you bastard, and I swear to God that I will rip it off and feed it to an anaconda, Racer," The voice coming from the body he'd been kicking was distantly familiar, and the sound of it made him want to hit something.
Natsu knew who it was now.
"Snake-guy!" Natsu exclaimed, "What are you doing in Lucy's apartment?"
"What the hell?" Cobra shot to a sitting position. He hadn't let go of Natsu's ankle, and the fire dragon-slayer was dragged to the floor, "Who the hell is Lucy? Where the hell am I?"
Natsu squinted at the place he thought Cobra was, "Lucy? Blonde, big boobs? Yells a lot? She's nice, though."
"You brought me here, didn't you?" Cobra growled, "You Fairy bastards just can't leave people in peace-"
The fire dragon-slayer swung a right hook at where Cobra's voice was coming from, "Why would I bring you here?! I don't want your stupid face anywhere near me!"
His fist connected with a satisfying jerk. By the bones under his knuckles, Natsu guessed he'd landed a solid hit to Cobra's jaw line. The poison dragon-slayer growled like a wild animal and retaliated. He kicked Natsu's stomach with perfect aim, his advanced hearing helping him to permeate the inky darkness.
Natsu tried to tackle him, but overshot, flying over Cobra and into the wall. There was a loud rattle as a bunch of picture frames fell around him. He jumped to his feet and started forward.
His foot caught on something and he went down hard, slamming his jaw into Lucy's hardwood floor. He'd missed the carpet by about a foot, he could feel it on his outstretched hand.
Under his foot, whatever he'd tripped on started moving. It sat up.
"Rogue?"
Natsu recognize this voice too. It was the blonde dragon-slayer from Sabertooth.
"Why are so many people in Lucy's apartment?" Natsu mused, his jaw still pressed against the floor, "Did she invite you all over?"
"We're in that chick's apartment?" Sting exclaimed, "The one Minerva beat up?"
Cobra growled somewhere in the darkness, "I still don't know who that is!"
"I just told you, moron," Natsu yelled, "Tell me where you are, so I can kick your ass!"
The room lit up with a soft white glow. Natsu whipped his head around, trying to discover the source of the light.
"No god-damn way," Cobra barked, "Blondie glows?"
Natsu finally turned all the way around to find that Sting was indeed glowing. Natsu clapped his hand over his mouth, pointing at the white dragon-slayer.
"You're a living night-light," Natsu snickered.
Sting jumped to his feet, "Shut the hell up!"
Natsu burst into full out laughter, dropping to the floor. He rolled around, clutching his stomach, "You glow in the dark!"
"It is fairly amusing."
The three mages jumped in unison, pinwheeling towards the sound of the voice. Rogue sat in Lucy's largest arm chair she kept in the corner of the room. A worn stack of papers Natsu recognized as Lucy's manuscript laid on his lap.
"Not as amusing as this though," Rogue continued flippantly, "Did you know that Iris is actually-"
"Gihi. Bunny-girl's going to kill you for that," Gajeel snickered.
Everyone, excluding Gajeel, jumped. They spun around to find Gajeel sitting at Lucy's table, biting the tines off a fork. Laxus sat across from him, eyes closed and feet planted on the table, listening to his sound pod. A scattering of mutilated silverware surrounded the chair Gajeel sat in.
"Like who-ever this chick is isn't going to kill you for that," Cobra gestured to the silverware from his place on the floor.
"Who's he?" Gajeel asked, his voice muffled by metal.
"I was actually wondering the same thing," Sting confessed, "I just kind of assumed he was another weirdo from Fairy Tail."
Natsu frowned, "The only weirdo in Fairy Tail is Lucy. Maybe Gray."
"What the hell are you talking about," Laxus cut in, not even opening his eyes, "Heartfilia is the only normal one in Fairy Tail."
"You just admitted you are abnormal," Rogue mused.
Laxus huffed, "Never said I wasn't. Just so you know, Iron-bastard's right. Heartfilia is going to rip you apart for touching that."
"She's a five two blonde," Sting raised his eyebrow, "How much damage can she really do?"
Natsu whipped his head around to stare at the blond dragon-slayer. His jaw dropped.
"Hell, she's no Titania," Gajeel said, "But that bunny's got rabies."
Laxus stared at Sting disbelievingly, "You've apparently never been on the receiving end of one of her kicks."
"You can join the club with Mira, Erza, Levy and Wendy," Natsu suggested.
Gajeel paused in eating one of Lucy's soup spoons, "I thought that list was longer. I don't remember Rain Woman getting the treatment. Or the drunkard."
"Juvia popped out of Lucy's shower," Natsu frowned, a pensive look over taking his face, "Lucy thought it was me. Lucy was aiming for Gray when she hit Cana."
"Oh yeah," Laxus shrugged, "I remember that one."
Cobra, Sting, and Rogue stared at the Fairy Tail dragon-slayers.
"You consider that normal?" They chorused.
"You got a problem with our guild?" Gajeel squinted at the trio, rising from his chair an crossing his arms.
Cobra rose to the bait, "Yeah, I got a problem with your guild. You're a bunch of lunatics, and for all I know you god-damned kidnapped me to bring me here."
"Don't you think we've got better things to do?" Gajeel growled.
Natsu was the first to throw a punch, "I already told you. No one here wants to see your stupid face!"
Cobra dodged to the right, and Natsu flew past him, his fist sinking into the plaster by the fallen bookshelf. His heel cracked the glass of one of the fallen picture frames.
Gajeel sent an iron dragon's club towards Cobra's legs when he dodged. The convict jumped to the left, knocking into Rogue and toppling the chair. Pages of Lucy's unfinished novel flew across the room.
The chair fell with a loud crash. Sting jumped into the fight, ducking under Cobra's arm to aim a hit at Natsu. Rogue was pinned under the arm chair.
The crash covered up the sound of the door opening. The lights flickered on. All six dragon-slayers froze in place. One of Natsu's legs was in the air, inches from Cobra's stomach. Sting had missed Natsu and hit Gajeel instead.
Lucy shrieked, seeing her home in shambles. She dropped her bags of groceries onto the floor, fisting her hands in her hair. Her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.
"Bookshelf," Her breathing sped up worryingly, "Picture frames. Arm chair. Convict! MY BOOK! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HOUSE?!"
Her eyes narrowed in on one thing in particular.
"Wendy!"
The smallest of the dragon-slayers was still napping on the couch. She was lying peacefully on her side, her mouth slightly open. She was curled up in fetal position, with her hands clasped under her head.
Lucy rushed to the couch, scooping the small girl into her arms. She dropped her voice to a dangerous whisper, glaring at them one at a time.
"I am going to get Wendy to Fairy Hills," She hissed, "By the time I get back, my apartment better be cleaned up, my book and order, and that guy-" She jerked her head at Cobra, "Put back wherever he came from. Or else."
She turned to walk out the door, Wendy still held securely in her arms, "And get Rogue out from under my arm chair."
She flounced through the apartment door and slammed it behind her.
"So that was Lucy," Cobra said, "She's rude."
A/N: How did the dragon slayers get into Lucy's apartment? Why is Cobra there? Are the dragon slayers actually going to clean up? Probably not! This one was also a request from Guardian of Heaven. It was pretty fun to pull Cobra in here. I'm gonna have to do that more often. My apologies for it being so late, though!
