Jealousy bites at me,
tearing me apart,
and still you are ripping,
this hole in my heart.

A/N--Yayy? Okay, yayy! Sorry this is later than normal. Sigh. What can I say, I've been busy. If you hadn't noticed, I put up another chapter to Wanting Later. Go read it? Thanks to all my reviews and yadda yadda! You guys rock ;D!

Disclaimer--One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish... Wait! I don't own that either.

Enjoy :)!


Gale is taking too long to get home. Everyone is talking, but me. Prim giggles a lot, Posy stationed on her lap, and Katniss sits right in between Rory and Vick. It seems like they are all a part of one big, happy family. I am not included. Every once in a while, Hazelle will ask me a polite question, trying to draw me into the conversation, but I will answer her curtly, because I just want to feel sorry for myself right now. Which is exactly what I'm doing. I'm not making plans, or thinking about anything else important. I am sitting here, feeling lonely and refusing to do anything about it. In this moment, I think I hate myself. But I can't stop.

It's very late when Gale finally comes through the door, announcing his arrival by the clopping of his boots being thrown to the floor. Katniss is up out of her seat in a matter of seconds, practically running in her hurry to get to him. They are just a little out of earshot, simply because they are whispering. All I hear is Gale joyously exclaiming her name, then the rest fades to background noise. Much with the help of Prim, who is doing her best to keep a steady conversation going with Gale's younger siblings.

I'm very impatient, which makes the wait seem even longer. Finally, though, Katniss and Gale enter the room. Gale looks sort of ashen, and I wonder why, but don't really think much of it. Katniss' expression is somewhere between smiling and stoic. I don't know how to feel about it, in truth. Posy hops off Prim's lap. She is so cute. She actually reminds me, in some ways, of a less mature Prim. Not just because of her delicate age, but also because of her life experience, or lack thereof. Prim really grew up in the last year--she was forced to. Posy hasn't had the same trauma as Prim.

Gale swings Posy up into his arms. It is the essence of family. He looks like her father, despite the small age difference, the way he cares for her. I think this makes me like Gale a little bit more. It is gradual, but I'm beginning to see a lot of good in Gale, that I haven't seen before. Attributes that I would never have guessed he had, mostly because I was jealous, and that jealousy blinded me.

"Now?" Gale asks Katniss. She looks at me, uncertain. I crane my neck so that I can see out the window. Pitch black. There is a tiny bit of light from the partial moon, but nowhere near enough to see by. I am not brave enough to venture out into the forest when it is this dark. I simply can't do it.

"I think it might be a little bit too late for us to take a walk," I say, my voice measured and calm. Gale glares at me, then his face softens just a bit, as if he's remembering that he doesn't hate me quite as much anymore. "Tomorrow, though? I think that it is important that we...go for this walk."

Everyone knows what I'm referring to, of course. Except maybe Posy. We may or may not be watched at all times, but we have to prepare for it, either way. But we don't have to go completely overboard. This is being candid enough, I think. I hope.

"We should probably be getting home then, Katniss," Prim says, tiredly. I can see, when I look in her eyes, that she is getting quite fed up by all of this. Poor Prim, she's just a little girl, still. Katniss nods, but the look in her eyes when her face hits Gale's suggests that she doesn't want to leave yet. I feel the surge of envy stab at me.

"I'll walk you?" I suggest, but it sounds like a question.

Katniss nods, and now it is Gale's turn to feel the jealousy. His hand actually flies up to his stomach, momentarily, as if he can fend off the pain that he feels by the fact that Katniss has some feelings for me, no matter what they are. I sigh, because this is going a little bit too far. When the jealousy actually starts causing physical pain in both of us, I know that it has gone too far. But there is no going back from it now. Once you get a sample of Katniss, you can't help but want the whole thing. No, there is no going back from Katniss.

"Bye, Gale, Hazelle," Katniss begins, then lists the names of the three younger children. I am standing by the front door, waiting patiently. Prim hugs Posy one more time, then cheerily waves to the rest. I can't miss the look of longing in Gale's eyes as they trail Katniss out the door and into the night.

Poor guy, he reminds me of myself.

"Do you think it's safe to talk here?" Katniss asks. I'm not sure if her words are directed towards me or Prim, but assume the former, considering the fact that Katniss is practically carrying her younger sister, Prim is so tired. We are far away from the Seam now, close to Victors' Village. But it's hard to tell if even here is safe. Who knows what the Capitol has in place as surveillance. Ah, good old paranoia, sneaking up on you when you least expect it. I smirk at my own thought process.

"There's no telling." I look around, and see no one. "But I guess it would depend on what you wanted to talk about."

She leans her head against my shoulder. I feel a stab of something in my gut, just as lethal as the jealousy, but I can't tell what it is. All I know is that it's pain. "I don't know." She sighs, then yawns. "I guess your--wait! Were you going to stay at the bakery tonight?"

I hadn't even thought about it. All I knew is that I wanted to walk Katniss home. I try to look at her, but her head is still resting on my shoulder, even as we walk, and it makes it impossible to see her face. "Well, I think I'll just stay at my other house tonight, hmm?"

I feel her relax, which seems odd to me, because I didn't realize that she was tense. Poor Katniss. Poor everyone. We really are all tense these days.

We are entering Victors' Village when we see the figure huddled up on Haymitch's front porch. It's him, of course. He's drunk, singing to himself. I think we should probably just let him be. But Katniss sighs and pulls her head up off my arm, crossing over to where he sits.

"Haymitch you should probably go inside," she says lightly.

He looks up at her, his eyes fill with moisture. "Sweetheart!" He coos. It almost makes me laugh, despite myself, but I hold it in for Katniss' sake. "Ibeen wanning to te' you somfin'" he says, sort of confusing me with his drunkenly slurred words. "Commin sigh." He stumbles to his feet. Then he slips back down with a muffled, "Oww." Then he is back on his feet again, pulling at Katniss' wrist, leading her into the house. Having inherited the role of Prim-dragger, once Katniss walked over to Haymitch, I drag Prim along after Katniss and the other previous Victor. It doesn't take long for Haymitch to notice. "Naw you, boy! Jus' the sweetheart. Go home."

I look to Katniss, confusion blooming on my face. She shrugs and nods, pointing towards Prim. "I'll be back in a few minutes, I guess," she says, then disappears into the dark of Haymitch's house.

I sigh, for so many reasons. But Prim is now my responsibility, so I half-drag, half-carry her across the street and over to her house. I think about knocking, but decide against it, for some reason.

"Ophelia?" I call, having entered the house and flipped on a light switch. The room is flooded with the bright white luminescence, and I stubble along with Prim, looking for her mom.

I get to the kitchen before I see any evidence of Ophelia.

Sick kid, The note says. Be back late. Don't wait up.

Mom.

I close my eyes and yawn. It's been another long day. I leave the note where it stands, leading Prim along to her room, which is thankfully on the first floor. I drop her carefully into her bed, pulling the covers up to her chin, then I exit the room, leaving the door open a crack, because I have no idea if she likes this or not.

I go back to the main room, and lay down on the couch, deciding to wait here until either Katniss or her mother returns home.

When an hour goes by, and Katniss is still not here, I start to get worried.


A/N--errm, good? You know how to tell me ;). Yayy Hunger Games. Sorry, I just love it!!!

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