Christian

I'm mentally counting the seconds until this excruciatingly dull conversation with the head of a newly purchased company. He keeps repeating himself in the least innovative way and does not seem to have any appreciation for the fact that Christian Grey, owner and CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, may have something better to do on a Saturday afternoon. Though a Saturday as boiling hot as this one there is not much one can do apart staying inside with the doors open and the AC on full speed. It's certainly a challenge to have to stay indoors with one particular little girl. Normally either Sandrine or Mrs. Jones or on occasion even myself take her to the park but this weekend Mrs. Jones is away while Sandrine has complained about migraine and opted to stay in her own apartment. It's unbelievable how much that girl is costing me to keep. Amber has been restless since I picked her up yesterday evening, barely able to sit still for five seconds even. Getting her to go to bed was a fucking nightmare. And today she's been asking me a million times if she can go outside and my answer has been the same every time; no. She's been dangerously close to the wide open balcony door a couple of times but she knows she's not allowed to go outside on her own. I made sure to remind her a couple of times as well. Just moments before I went on my business call, I sent Amber to her room since she broke yet another piece of art while practicing her crazy circus acts. I'm not even sure what it was she was doing this time, perhaps she just wanted someone's attention. I do know I'm not the best at giving her mine but she gets what she needs from my parents. Having her spend some weekends and holidays with me is merely to give them a break. Though I do wish I found it a bit easier to spend time with my daughter. I just don't know how to talk to her unless I'm explaining something or reprimanding her. And she doesn't seem to particularly want to talk to me either.

"So, in answer to your question Mr. Carpenter" I begin, meaning to conclude our conversation, when I see something that nearly makes me fucking choke. My glancing out through the glass wall was a mere coincidence and what I see causes my otherwise unfeeling heart to stop. My five-year-old tiny little girl is fucking tightrope walking on the railings of the penthouse balcony! I drop the phone, oblivious to what the idiot at the other end might think and I practically leap towards the opening.

"Amber!" I shout when I see her wiggle. I don't know what stupid impulse came over me to scream at her because it scares her, causing her to slip on her step and…

I'm by the railing in one long jump, catching Amber in the fall. Both her feet were off the railing; one millisecond later and she would have been on the street now. Dead. My heart is pounding and I'm breathing heavily as I clutch the minimal body to my chest. Amber is trembling and so am I. I keep holding her for what seems like ages until I get my cool back and fury starts to kick in. I hold Amber away from me by her arms and shake her.

"What the hell where you thinking?" I shout at her; I cannot remember ever having been this mad at her.

"Sorry" Amber almost sounds like she's choking but I don't give a fuck at the moment.

I roughly put her on my hip and start walking across the balcony to take my disobedient child inside to deal with. She knew she wasn't allowed out on the balcony and she's a clever little one, she could have figured out that nobody would ever let her play around on the fucking railings. The thought that I could have lost her forever is no longer choking me, but I'm filled with a determination. I need to make damn sure this never happens again, that it doesn't cross Amber's mind to do anything like it ever. And that fucking circus camp is going to be shut down within a day. I walk inside, slamming the glass door shut out of habit and because I'm pissed. I think vaguely about the risk of my strength shattering it but I don't really give a fuck right now. It would have been quite satisfactory to be honest. Once inside I sit down on the couch, placing Amber stomach down over my knee straight away. A position she's never been in before; I've given her one or two swats on a few occasions but never a real spanking. She's getting one now however, and it won't be one she soon forgets. I place my hand on Amber's back as she tries to get off my lap and I bend my upper body down to look her in the eye.

"Amber." I say calmly. "Stop fighting me or this will be much more difficult than it needs to be."

Something I can't make out what it is flickers through Amber's eyes but she doesn't say anything and she keeps trying to wriggle off me. With a sigh, I swat her backside sharply and she gasps as tears fill her eyes. She stills however, and turns her head so she's looking down on the sofa. I lean down again and make her look at me.

"Amber" I say again before continuing: "What did I tell you before about going out on the balcony?"

She doesn't answer and I give the shoulder I'm holding a little shake.

"I couldn't go out there." She mumbles.

"That's right." I hear that I'm nearly growling. "So why did you?"

"I don't know" Amber's voice is so quiet that I can barely hear her.

I raise my voice so I'm sure she can hear me:

"Not good enough, Amber" I tell her sternly. "What you did was extremely dangerous and on top of that you directly disobeyed me. I'm going to spank you now to make sure you never do anything like it again. Do you understand?"

I see that she's nodding her head.

"Answer me properly." I say.

"Yes" Still quiet but it will do for now.

"We'll go with ten" I mutter, more to myself than to her.

I flip up my daughter's yellow sundress and peel down her polka-dot panties to the top of her thighs. I need to see that I don't overdo it; I have never spanked a child before. I take a quick breath before bringing my hand down. Amber's pathetic little whimper almost makes me want to stop but then I think of the sight of her on the railings and fury makes me toughen up. I make sure each and every of the ten swats are felt and Amber takes her punishment quite well, lying still and just trembling slightly. Once I'm done have reclothed Amber's now quite red bottom I have her stand before me. She wipes her tears with the back of her hand but in vain; they keep coming. I feel a slight pinch of guilt which I repress straight away. My kid needed discipline and spanking her was for her own good.

"Do you understand why I spanked you?"

"Because I went out on the balcony when you said I couldn't" Amber sniffles, she's still shaking somewhat. I grab onto her shoulder as if to still her.

"That's right." I confirm before burrowing my eyes into hers. "Do you understand why I said you couldn't?"

Amber bites down on her lip before mumbling:

"It's dangerous."

"That's right" I said through clenched teeth. "And I can't believe you climbed up on those railings. You know what would have happened if I hadn't caught you? If you had fallen? Hm?"

Amber breaths heavily but doesn't answer.

"You would have died." I say, hearing it may sound harsh but it's fucking true and my own words hit me like a punch in the chest. My baby could have died. "Do you get that, Amber? You would have gone to sleep and never woken up."

Tears are rolling freely down Amber's flushed cheeks. I reach into my pocket for a handkerchief and start wiping them, Amber's shoulder still in a tight grasp.

"There" I tell her. "It's over and done with now, clean slate. But don't ever do anything like it again, you hear me?"

Amber nods and I just can't be bothered to tell her again to answer properly. Her eyes are wide as they gaze into mine. I think she got my message. I can feel her squirming under my grip.

"Go to your room." I sigh. "Don't even think about going outside again; I'll know if you do."

I let go of Amber and she shoots off in the direction of her room while I rise. I'll have Taylor monitor the balcony from his office straight away.

About an hour later, after I've got some more work done, I decide I might check on my daughter. I enter her room after a brief knock and find that she's nowhere to be seen. Then I hear the muffled sobs from under her bed. Jesus fucking Christ, has she been crying all this time?

"Grandpa" I hear her snivel and I suddenly have a huge headache.

I walk over to sit down on Amber's bed, burying my face in my hands. Shit, I can't do anything right with this kid. She'll always prefer her grandparents to me. They are what she needs, not me. I sit feeling sorry for myself for a little while before I pull myself together. Fuck, Grey, you knew this already. That's why you have them raise her. I'm fine with being the disciplinarian when I need to be, as long as it means Amber stays out of fucking danger. She doesn't have to like me, my job is to keep her safe and cared for and that's what I'm doing. Never mind that she's cared for by others than me. Determined, I pack the small amount of things she brings back and forth between here and my parents' into her backpack. I put it on the bed and lean down in front of it.

"Hey you." I say to my daughter. "Can you come out from under there?"

Amber shakes her head and clutches the pillow she always sleeps with and cuddles when she feels the need. I reach in and take her arm and slide her out with ease.

"I'll take you back to your grandparents'" I tell her. "Would you like that?"

She looks at me with glossy eyes and then nods slowly, giving me a guarded look. I let out a little sigh, realizing I might have held some idiotic hope in me that she'd want to stay. But why the fuck would she when she's in need of comfort? I can't give her that. I stand up and lift Amber from the floor, carrying her out while picking up her backpack on the way. Since I'm no comfort for her I'll need to bring her to the people who are.

...