Disclaimer: All original characters, situations and plot ideas belong to JK Rowling. I make no profit from this.

Warning: This story is rated M for sexual situations and scenes, language, and darker themes in the story.


A Riven Heart

Chapter 29

August 24th, 2006

She heard a quiet knocking against the bathroom door and knew her alone time was up. Of course any man whose Patronus was a giant bear would be very protective. Of course... she was drawn to that aspect of his personality, having spent her life feeling mostly alone and unneeded...

She took a steadying breath and opened the door, pushing those thoughts away. She didn't need them... not tonight.

Instead of seeing Neville however, she looked down and saw a pain potion, Bruise Removal cream, and a brilliantly purple colored rose petal. Her heart melted in her chest, her face falling into a smile she couldn't help. How the hell was he coming up with these rose petals? Why the hell did it go straight to her heart? This man knew he too well.

She knelt down to pick up the petal, holding it in the palm of her hand. She was awed by the unique color, the bright purple matching her eyes almost exactly. Its extravagant fragrance hit her nose and she breathed it in deeply.

She picked up the cream and the potion, downing the later immediately because her throat and shoulder were beginning to throb with a pulsing ache. She walked to the balcony and looked over to the living room below. Neville paced back and forth in front of the couch where Theo and Percy were sitting together. His hands clenched and then relaxed only to clench again, a sign of his stress. Malfoy was in the chair, an ankle folded over his knee, and she knew he too was on edge by the look on his face and the stress across his lean shoulders.

All of them looked on edge, actually. More so than just because of what happened to her. She grabbed her warmest jumper, holding it to her chest and thought of what she should do. Her heart thumped painfully. She felt an anxious, dark cloud over her head, that strange knowing that the darkness from the horizon was catching up to her, about to collide... as if she were about to take a step in a direction she didn't know the way. She thought of the rose petal in her hand, of the other three she collected in a sweet smelling wooden box she kept safe. None of the other petals had wilted yet, and she hadn't figured out why. She was determined too. She wanted more.

She never would have guessed it months ago, but Neville was in her heart now.

Her bedroom had become a sanctuary to them, spending long nights exploring pleasure she had never known before. His greenhouses were the sites of their dates, getting their hands dirty and planting new life. They ate meals together and took care of each other...It was exactly what she wanted to do. It was the quiet life she needed.

Anything she did now, she had to think of Neville. She had to be on his side. Any bad decisions she made would just hurt him. She had to take care of herself otherwise it would be Neville that would suffer.

And there it was, decision made. She walked downstairs.

Neville's eyes watched her as she descended the stairs. He stepped in front of her when she turned towards them.

She held the cream out to him and said in a gentle voice, "Will you help me put this on, please? I can't quite reach…"

The peace offering worked exactly as she thought it would. His face relaxed as he jumped to taking care of her, opening the jar without a word and using his fingers to spread the cream oh so gently on her throat and neck. Then he turned her around and began on her shoulder.

"Did you take the pain potion? I found it in your kitchen."

"I did, thank you. And," she said, dropping her voice to a whisper. "Thank you for the other thing too."

He came around in front of her again, the tiniest of smiles in his eyes. "You're welcome."

He took her hands and led her to the couch, sitting her down between Theo and Percy.

Neville went back to pacing in front of them. "Tell me what happened exactly, Pansy."

"You didn't miss much." She mumbled, pulling her jumper over her head and her arms through the sleeves, immediately feeling warmer.

"Start from the beginning, did he ask you anything? Did he say anything?" She thought it over.

"I got – I was feeling bad today and I spent time at Mother's. I came home and decided to take a hot bath. It was maybe, I don't know ten minutes or so after I got in the tub when he showed up. And he said something about the Dark Lord requesting an audience with me, those were the words he used… Is he back? Is Voldemort back?"

The quiet that engulfed the room was her answer.

"He's got Mother as a hostage." Draco said from his chair. Knowing what The Malfoy's went through the last time Voldemort set up court in their home had horror setting in.

"No! He's at the Manor again? Draco… I'm so sorry." She couldn't convey how bad she felt for Mrs. Malfoy. "But… why would he want me? Doesn't he want Harry?"

"That's why we're here." Percy said from her right. He tentatively took her hand in his, their friendship still budding, still new.

"I told them about that night, Pansy. The night Father died." Draco said next.

His words sparked memories she tried so hard to hold back, memories of the life fading from her father's eyes and the brutal insanity taking over her mother's.

"Why? What…" she felt clueless… this was all so much more than just her, she felt overwhelmed.

Neville knelt down in front of her. "Can you tell me what happened that night? Or, can I have the memory? As far as anyone else knows the last time Voldemort was seen was at Hogwart's, but the night your father was murdered was after the battle."

She searched his eyes. She couldn't voice any kind of feelings for this man, but she knew him. She knew that if he saw her memory of that night, it would hurt him in a way he might not ever let go of. She put both hands on either side of his face, gently cupping his cheeks.

"Why didn't Draco give you the memory? He was there as well."

"Mine isn't complete." he whispered, voice ragged. "I passed out if you recall, there's some missing parts."

She couldn't let Neville see it. She couldn't let him live what she had gone through. It would kill him. She stood, letting her hands fall. "Of course I'll help."

Neville stood and wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you. I promise I won't let anyone else see it."

He thought he was protecting her. No, she was going to protect him. "Neville, I'm going to give it to Percy, who's going to give it to Harry. Not you."

"What?" He leaned back to look at her. "Are you kidding? You're mine, I won't let anyone else see it."

Her heart jumped at his declaration, one he had made before, but that had been in the privacy of her bed. Now he said it in front of a room full of people. "Neville, I can't let you see it. I won't. You're mine too."

"I can concede to Harry seeing it, but Pansy, I'm seeing it too. No one else." His tone was firm, but she had gotten used to it. And she wasn't a child anymore, she didn't just blindly follow orders.

"Neville, you will not be seeing my memory. End of story."

She felt the fight crash over them. "No, no end of story. If anyone is going to see it, it should be me."

"How do you figure that?" She took a step back and felt her hands find their way to her hips as she found a firm stance to stand in.

He looked bewildered at her, his nose scrunched up. "Because you… you're my girlfriend! Mine!"

"Yes! But that's exactly why I won't let you see it! It'll just hurt you!" She argued back. The last thing she would let him see is that memory. It would tear him to pieces. He couldn't protect her from something that had already happened to her.

"It'll be my burden to bear." He said after that.

Theo made a low whistling sound through his teeth. "I would be careful, mate. You're starting to piss her off and that's the last thing you want to do. Trust me."

She looked between all of them, from Theo's passive face, to Draco's anxiousness, to Percy's observing eyes, and finally to Neville. She felt anger rising inside of her at the sight of his glare. Like she had done something to him, like she was the problem. She was doing this for him.

"It's not… I am not a burden." She said quietly, feeling like an open wound.

It felt like a punch in the gut, the way she said that. "No that's not – that's not what I meant."

"I don't care what you meant," she back so quickly, he almost missed it. "You won't be seeing it. End. Of. Story." She turned and made quick steps to the kitchen.

"Pansy." Neville followed her, "You aren't a burden. You will never been a burden. That's not what I meant." He grabbed her hand.

"What are you going to do? Force the memory out of me? Oh wait, you can't. Oh well! I guess you won't be getting the memory then! I don't need you to hold my hand, I don't need you to take care of me, and I don't need you at all. I have been living alone for six years, feeding myself, supporting myself, and making my own decisions. Including this one, this is my memory and you have no right to it. PERCY! Take me to Harry. Right now. We're leaving." She didn't even know why she went into the kitchen, she felt heated and hurt. She pushed by Neville again back towards the living room.

"Pansy you're being unreasonable!" He attempted to grab her hand. "Of course I don't think that… this isn't what I meant at all! Stop and talk to me!"

"You're the one being unreasonable! Do you really think you can just order me around like this?" She yanked her hand out of his and stomped towards the door. "PERCY WE'RE LEAVING NOW."

Growling and feeling irrationally angry, he said, "You take orders just fine in bed."

He immediately knew he had gone too far, but the words had just come out before he had even thought about them. The sharp intake of her breath told him just how far wrong he had gone.

She turned so fast and a delicate hand slapped across his face, stinging far more than in a physical way, a look of hurt on her own face.

"How dare you bring that out in front of our friends? What is wrong with you!" She pushed at his chest.

He stepped back, shamed for the second time that night. "Pansy, I'm sorry... I -"

"I don't want to hear it." A caustic mix of embarrassment and fury filled her and she turned away from him, unable to face him. Draco was standing behind her and he grabbed her arms and pulled her out the front door. She kicked it shut behind her, imagining Neville's face being shut on by the thick wood.

"Calm down Pansy. It's okay." Draco said in soft tones, pulling her away from the house.

"Fuck you, don't tell me what to do Malfoy." She spit out. The words sounded so hateful to her, it actually hurt. Damn that Neville Longbottom. Bringing up their sex life in front of... this was about her protecting him. But she wasn't mad at Draco.

"Go ahead and let it all out. I make an excellent punching bag." He said dryly, stopping them a couple of yards away from the house and wrapping his thin arms around her. "I'm taking you to Harry's. Okay?"

She sniffed in her attempt not to cry. "I would never punch you."

"You just bitch slapped Neville. I'm rightfully afraid of you."

"I wouldn't." She repeated. "I would just throw things at you." She said after a long pause.

He laughed hollowly as he Apparated them both away.