Great, so not how I wanted this evening to start or perhaps at this rate, finish!
Our first argument and it's about fucking security but she will have to learn I will not compromise on safety! I feel a little out of sorts and I think it is because most women are happy to feel safe and secure; I'm just not used to defensive objections.
The sound of the shower stops, moments later Ana comes into the room, her wet blonde hair cascades down her back, tiny water falls running down her skin until they hit the towel. She flicks her hair sending a fine spray of water over my face.
"Are you always like this?" Her voice breaks the silence.
"Like what Ana?"
"Possessive, paranoid, over-cautious"
"I have had to be Ana, you don't understand" I feel weary.
"I don't like being bossed about and told what to do, it's stifling!"
I sigh "Ana, I very nearly lost a hugely important person in my life due to not being possessive, paranoid and over-cautious enough; watching someone nearly dying from my carelessness is something that will never ever happen again when I have the ability to prevent it. I am going for a shower!" I walk past her without making eye contact and attempt to rinse away the tension of this evening.
Feeling a little more refreshed, I go back to the bedroom; Ana is already under the sheets with her back to me although I can see she is totally naked. I feel a stirring but with the general mood in the room it doesn't go any further. I sit on the couch, open my laptop to see if anything is requiring my attention and concentrate on some information from Andrea.
"Who was it?" I am so engrossed in reading I don't register what Ana asked me.
"I'm sorry I didn't hear what you said" I answer turning to look at her
"I said who was it?"
I close the laptop, I don't really want to relieve the moment but feel it is necessary for Ana to understand why I am so insistent on the security I have and why I have to protect people I come into contact with.
"I had a good friend all through school and college called Benjamin, we kind of helped each other through school, supported when the other was down on their luck; you get the picture. Well when I started GEH, reluctantly I had to put myself out there, advertising, meeting people, all sorts of publicity was required and Ben was helping, he chose to go into advertising so was clued in. GEH grew, expanded and I became 'famous'. A lot of people get jealous or angry, bearing in mind I take companies and consolidate them, I am not popular with MD's, FD's or anyone who is unfortunate enough to lose their jobs because of my actions.." I pause for a moment before continuing
"We were on a night out, I hadn't felt the need for security at that point, I had had a few mild threats, the usual hate mail but this night at a club we bumped into an associate that was employed by a company I had disbanded recently, I had no choice but to make 25 out of 115 people employed there redundant and he happened to be one of the 25. He was drunk, his mates were equally drunk but found it amusing to goad him in to confronting me about losing his job, how it affected his life, Ben being the mate that he was tried to calm the guy down, smooth things over and with the help of a couple of the clubs bouncers things settled however when we left the club they were waiting for us outside… I need a drink" I pick up the phone, call the concierge and order a bottle of Dom.
The bottle is delivered quickly and after taking a long drink I observe Ana briefly, she hasn't uttered a word since I started talking and her face isn't giving anything away either…
"They followed us part of the way home before the cowards cornered us in an alleyway about 2 blocks from our apartment. The six of them started beating on us pretty hard; we defended ok to begin with however the odds weren't good. Suddenly they split, running off laughing and shouting, I half-heartedly started chasing them before turning around to see where Ben was and then I realised he had a knife sticking out of his abdomen, blood everywhere and he was losing consciousness. I phoned 911 and soon the place was crawling with paramedics, police officers and detectives. Ben got taken away quickly; another unit patched my cuts and splinted my broken fingers while the detectives took my statement"
"Oh my" Ana quietly exclaimed, she is wrapped in the sheet sitting crossed legged on the bed sipping champagne.
"I got checked out at the ER, X-rays etcetera but Ben had to have emergency surgery, the blade sliced his spleen, liver and intestine, he battled peritonitis, at one point he went into multiple organ failure and spent 2 months in ICU. Due to blood loss, his brain was deprived of oxygen for a short time so his has permanent issues with memory loss, speech difficulties and several other issues. So whilst you think security is unnecessary and over-bearing, if I had listened to my advisors and had people like Taylor and Sawyer watching my back, that situation would never have occurred and Ben would be ok. I have to live with my own guilt and disappointment for thinking it would never happen to me and I vowed after Ben it would NEVER happen again" I slump back on the couch emotionally spent.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realise"
"That's the problem Ana, you never do until it's too late, it always happens to someone else"
"Did they catch all the guys?"
"From my identification they arrested the man I made redundant and two others in the group but they remained tight lipped and never identified the other three"
"Where is Ben now?"
"He moved back to California so his parents could help in his recovery, he eventually met Megan, got married and has 2 fantastic kids, he works for me still"
"It sounds like he has built a good life in California"
"Yes he has but that doesn't absolve my guilt, if he hadn't got stabbed he could have been a top advertising executive, the world could have been his oyster but instead he is…"
"Christian, come to bed"
I have nothing left to argue with so I crawl between the sheets and fall in to an exhausted sleep wrapped around Ana.
I reluctantly open my eyes as the morning beckons, the clock reads 10am. I feel beside me and the bed is cold and empty. Ana must have gone to the track already; I curse for sleeping late and hastily ready myself to follow her to the circuit.
At times like this I miss Elliot accompanying me, practice sessions are obviously vital but for a bystander like me, well I feel like a spare part. The team do their best to talk and explain what is happening by they have their jobs to do. Ray is about but again is absorbed in the day's business.
Ana roars in to the garage at the end of the morning's session, she eases out of the car, removes her helmet before addressing some of the mechanics about the handling of the car. She walks over and plants a kiss on my cheek…
"Take me to lunch? I'm famished"
She takes me by surprise but I readily agree asking where she would like to go.
"I fancy a burger"
"Oh…ok…err…Burger King?" I stutter, caught off guard.
"Old Lighthouse Diner is a little more classy" she giggles that fabulous giggle.
"Of course" I mumble embarrassed by my lack of forethought.
"I have 2 hours before the afternoon session starts and I am sure you can satisfy my hunger in that time" she winks at me.
"Food first I am guessing?" I ask.
"Yes please I need to keep my energy up" she takes my hand and we walk to the car.
Taylor calls ahead from the car, arranging a suitable table with as much privacy as possible. The restaurant whilst a huge step up from Burger King is not what I expected. It's a little too chintzy for my taste however the food is spot on!
"You are a little quiet this afternoon Christian"
"I'm enjoying my food and well I have been thinking a lot about Ben, I would like, with Rays consent of course, to bring Ben and his family to a race, perhaps in June when you are racing at Sonoma. It's closer to home for him but I think he would still be interested as he was crazy about it when we were in Uni"
"I think that would be a wonderful idea and I can't see Dad having any issues, we have the box above the pits always; it gets so loud downstairs at times and I don't know how old his children are but it's safer up there too"
"I will check with Ray when we get back" I check my watch and see that Ana has approximately Fifteen minutes until the afternoon session starts "We had better get a move on otherwise Ray will forbid me from taking you anywhere"
"Shit, I lost all track of time and I didn't get to totally satisfy my hunger" Ana pouts.
"I will make it up to you later baby"
Back at the track Ana enters race mode and disappears off in the car with a roar.
Ray appears and looks to be unoccupied so I take the opportunity to ask about Ben and his family coming to see a race.
"Absolutely Christian, they are welcome to come over, if you contact me a little nearer the time I will arrange for the spare so he can take a few laps around the track if he wants to"
"I appreciate that very much Ray, I will of course give you notice" I shake his hand hoping to convey my thanks again.
"If you will excuse me Christian I have to see the pit chief"
"Of course, good to see you again"
Ray leaves and Ana swings in the garage, slides her lithe body out of the window, chat's to the crew before walking over to me.
"Hmm, car is feeling great this afternoon, good feelings for tomorrow and the race. I have 30 minutes before qualifying so coffee?"
"Sure" we walk over to Starbucks, a rare sight on the racing circuit but I guess it's a franchise, not that I am complaining, Caffe Misto is my go to coffee of choice.
"The car feels great Christian, I am so happy with how it handles, I would love a top 10 finish tomorrow, it would mean so much to Dad, the team, well everyone really…" I listen intently to every word she says while scanning her face, every contour, her perfect tone, flawless complexion and the smut of dirt on her nose…"so I have to go back, wish me luck, I should be finished in a couple of hours. See you later?"
"Dinner?"
"I will be ravenous by then so definitely"
"Will arrange a table for 8pm" I kiss her cheek and she dashes off.
I walk off to find Taylor so he can organise a table tonight but until then it's a waiting game and I decide to watch from the box while corresponding with Andrea on the recent e-mails she has sent me.
I put my laptop down to watch Ana in qualifying, not that I am an expert but I can see something is off as Ana seems all over the place and ends up qualifying in 36th place. I sense everyone feels disappointed and I know Ana will be upset with herself. She climbs out of the car, I see her talking with the chief mechanic and both look puzzled and frustrated at the result. They finish talking and he gives her a brief hug before she walks toward me…
