The morning after the Stoll twins turn up looking like Medusa victims, someone is pounding on the door to the big house bright and early. As loud as they are banging, they sound pretty pissed off. Chiron is the first to the door, and he's a little taken aback when he sees who is there.
"Zephyr, what a surprise," the centaur says offering his hand. Zephyr pushes past him and on into the house.
"Where is she!" he shouts.
"Of whom do you speak?" Chiron asks hoping it's not who he thinks.
"My wife," Zephyr says hotly, "The one you've apparently been carrying on with the past few weeks."
"Chiron my love what is all the… Oh, what are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here? What are you doing here carrying on with this…this centaur and in front of our children," Zephyr says looking like he could work himself up into a F5 tornado at any second.
"Your children, are you kidding me," Iris says, "My demigod children do not have anything to do with you, and since when do you think you can go around spying on me like this."
"Since you're my wife," he says again placing emphasis on the wife part.
"I have never been your wife, brother," she says shaking her head at him.
"Really because that's not the way I've always heard it told," Zephyr says clinching his fists.
"Sleeping with someone once or twice…"
"Six times," he corrects.
"Sleeping with someone six times does not automatically mean you're married to them," she says getting pissy herself.
"We have a son, or have you forgotten all about Pothos," he yells.
"I love my son, I would never forget about him, but he is grown and very busy working for Aphrodite. I don't think he would have a problem with me taking some time for myself. To spend time with someone who loves me and cares for me," she replies.
"Oh, please, Chiron hasn't had any in so long he'll do anything to get you into his bed," Zephyr says, as if Chiron were not even standing there.
"Lord Zephyr," Chiron says, "Lady Iris does not believe you are married. Do you have papers to prove otherwise? And screen prints from Wikipedia do not count."
"Shut up you old goat," Zephyr yells.
"I sir am a horse, not a goat," Chiron corrects taking offense.
"Why don't you do yourself a big favor and leave before you make an ass of yourself," Iris tells her brother.
"I don't plan to leave without you," he says in a very determined fashion.
"Suit yourself, but I don't intend to leave anytime soon, and I don't intend to ever leave with you," she says then heads back toward Chiron's private quarters.
"You may stay at camp as long as you wish, Lord Zephyr, but under the circumstances you may not stay here in the big house," Chiron says showing the wind god to back to the door.
"This isn't over centaur," Zephyr threatens.
"As I said, if you can produce proof that you and Iris were ever married, I will review them," Chiron tells him then closes the door.
Once she knows Zephyr is gone, Iris rejoins Chiron.
"I'm sorry," she says on the verge of crying.
"There was never a ceremony of any kind was there?" he asks, as he puts his arms around her.
"No never I swear to you. He is so full of himself that he thinks that he's married to me, Chloris, and Podarge, but the fact is he just couldn't get laid by anyone who wasn't his sister and felt sorry for him. If you ask me he's gay and just won't admit it to himself," she tells him.
"After all these years, you can't really believe that can you," he asks caressing her head.
"I think his one true love was Hyacinth. He's still pissed that Apollo beat him out on that one, and he's never gotten over killing him. Apollo got some demigods to make fun of Zephyr to get back at him for killing his boyfriend, and ever since then, Zephyr has gone around telling everybody he's got all these wives," she explains.
"As long as he's just full of hot air, I'll fight for you," Chiron says then kisses her lips. Iris just snickers at his choice of words for her brother, the west wind.
