This chapter is Andy/Sam centric ~ I thought we needed it after the past few harrowing chapters.
As always thanks to everyone who has reviewed, favourited and alerted my story, I feel honoured to have so many people enjoying my story.
Thanks to dcj who helps to keep me on the straight and narrow! :)
Have a great day ~ and for those of you who can see Season 2 I hope you enjoy tonight's episode.
Sairs
To protect innocence
Chapter 28 ~ Nightmares and dreams
Andy sat on the steps of the back porch watching the sun set over the horizon, the last girl had finally been taken to the hospital a little while earlier and suddenly she felt exhausted. The wooden floorboards next to her creaked as Sam sat down beside her, his arm gently brushing against hers.
"Hey, how're you doing?" Sam asked quietly.
She leaned forward and ran her fingers through her hair, "I'll be better when this whole horrific mess is over. This can't get any worse, can it?"
Sam shook his head, "I hope not, Andy, 'cause the last forty eight hours have been some of the worst I've seen; and over the years I've seen some pretty awful things."
"Those girls…" she started her voice faltering as she recalled her conversations with Helena and the two sisters.
Sam reached over resting his hand on her shoulder, "You did really well in there, Andy. You made them feel safe and you got the information without breaking them." He squeezed her shoulder gently, "You gave them hope that they will get their lives back."
"But will they? Will they be able to live their lives after what's happened to them…" She looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears, but she wouldn't cry, not here, not on the back porch where those girls had been so brave.
"Andy, you gave them a chance, that's more than what they had yesterday, or the day before. They had just been waiting to be sold into an uncertain future, possible slavery and God knows what else. We stopped that from happening. Child and Family Services are going to help them and they have every chance of being reunited with their families." He paused, making sure she was looking at her, "Now they have a future."
She shook her head, wiping angrily at her eyes, "How could they do that, Jankovich, Jakub, Hardcastle? They played God, choosing who lived and who died, for what?" She asked her voice laced with anger, "Money!" She stood up and walked down the steps into the small backyard, stopping at the wall on the edge of the yard. She rested her hands against the wall and kicked at a mound of stones that were piled next to the wall, venting her frustrations with the world.
Sam followed her slowly and watched as she kicked at the mud and stones, he hated watching her when she hurt, but this case was getting to them all, but then he hadn't had to sit and listen to the way the young girls had suffered at the hands of Jakub. Andy had done that without question and now she was dealing with the horrors that she'd heard. He waited for her to stop, knowing that on some level she'd feel a little better, although he was sure that they'd both have nightmares about this for a long time.
"Andy?" he said quietly when she finally stopped moving, her gaze focused on the scattered stones on the ground. Slowly she lifted her head from the pebbles and turned to look at him. "Feel better?" he nodded towards the scattered pebbles.
She shook her head, "I don't think I'm going to feel better for a while."
Sam closed the distance between them, walking into her personal space; he grasped her hand, pulling her towards him, "There's nothing more we can do here today. Jo's sending us all home."
A small sad smile crossed Andy's lips, "Home," she laughed, but it sounded hollow, "I forgot, I don't have one of those anymore."
Sam's eyebrows rose for a moment before remembering what had happened before they'd started their undercover assignment. He nudged her with his elbow, a small smile playing on his lips, "I know somewhere that has a very luxurious spare room, great views, and an awesome housemate."
She raised her eyebrows as she tilted her head to look at him, "Where? And how do you know that this awesome person is going to let me use it?" she asked recognising that he was trying to cheer her up, although not too sure that she could muster humour after such a horrid forty eight hours.
His smile widened as she played along, "I have it on very good authority that they don't mind you using the spare room," he stepped closer, his voice quieter, his gaze intense, "Stay with me."
The intensity of his gaze caused her heart to pound in her chest, "Spare room?"
He rolled his eyes, "Yes, the spare room's yours for as long as you need it. But if you're lonely there's a pretty decent bed in my room, if you're up for sharing," he added, his tone hopeful.
She reached out and took his hand, then stepped forward and rested her forehead against his shoulder, "Sharing sounds nice, thank you. But I don't think I'll be very good company tonight, all I want to do is sleep, I didn't realise I was quite as tired as I am."
"Once the adrenalin rush stops, it catches up on you, Andy."
"Is it nearly over, Sam?" she asked quietly.
"I hope so, Andy, I really do."
Sam unlocked his door, their bags slung over his shoulder, the air in his house smelt musty as they stepped inside, he locked the door behind them and then dropped their bags in the hallway before following Andy through into the kitchen, where she had placed their Chinese takeout on the table.
He walked up behind her and slid his hands around her waist, drawing her to him, he leaned forward and rested his chin gently on her shoulder, "Welcome home, Andy," he whispered, his breath tickling the sensitive skin on her neck.
She slowly turned in his arms, her brown eyes meeting his, "Are you sure you're okay with me staying? This is rather new between us and I don't want to ruin it. I could stay with Dad…Or Traci, until I find another apartment."
Sam rolled his eyes, before leaning forward and placing a light kiss on her lips, "Andy I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it and even if we hadn't got to this point, I'd still be offering the spare room. I've been to your Dad's apartment and his sofa doesn't look that comfortable; and Traci's is pretty crowded. Don't over think it." He placed another kiss on her lips, "Did you not enjoy spending time with me in the apartment?"
She smiled, "You know I did and at times it was hard to keep my hands off you."
He chuckled, "I noticed. If you're not ready to move in that's fine… we can work at your speed. But it's too late to go anywhere else tonight. Stay," he leaned forward so that his forehead rested against hers.
"Spare room it is," she tilted her head slightly so that she could capture his lips, kissing him gently. After a few minutes she pulled back, "Guess we should eat."
He nodded, reluctantly letting her go and following her over to the counter, opening a cupboard and pulling out two plates. He watched her pull the boxes of food out of the bag, his heart heavy, Andy's sparkle was gone.
Dinner finished and the leftovers and plates away, Andy yawned, "I'm going to go to bed."
Sam walked over to her, "Do I get a kiss goodnight?" he asked a small smile on his lips.
She returned his smile and nodded, before tilting her head so that their lips met in a soft and tender kiss. Before the kiss deepened Andy pulled back, "Goodnight, Sam," she said quietly.
"Night, Andy," Sam replied, "Sleep well."
She nodded, before turning and walking towards the spare bedroom.
The girls' faces blurred into each other, their screams the only sound Andy could hear, she tossed and turned, her arms waving furiously in the air. She cried out in her sleep, her voice echoing in the silence.
Sam bolted upright in bed, for a moment he was disoriented, what had woken him so suddenly? A few seconds later he received his answer, a muffled cry echoed in the silence of the house.
He pulled back his blankets and hurried out of his bedroom towards the source of the cries. When he got to Andy's door, he quietly opened it and watched for a moment, he saw Andy waving her arms as she repeated, "No."
Sam didn't hesitate, he hurried over and knelt on the edge of her bed and gently touched Andy's shoulders with his hands, "Andy, wake up," he demanded quietly. He didn't release her shoulders and after a few seconds she stilled. "Andy," he tried again, his voice a little louder, "Wake up."
"Sam?" Andy asked; her voice laced with sleep, her eyes opening, straining to see his face in the darkness.
"You were having a nightmare," his voice was soft as he moved his hands from her shoulders and gently pushed a stand of hair from her face, "You were calling out."
She sniffed and her eyes welled with tears as the images of her nightmares crashed into her mind.
Sam saw the tears in her eyes glinting in the moonlight as she looked at him, "Want to talk about it?" he asked, his fingers moving from her forehead and sliding down to brush across her cheek.
She leaned into his touch and nodded.
"Scoot over, because you may look beautiful from this angle, but I don't want to stay hunched over at the edge of your bed."
As she began to move she spoke quietly, "I was appreciating the view too." She pulled herself up so that her back was resting against the headboard. She tugged at the duvet so that it followed her, in an attempt to keep out the chill that encased her body that her nightmare had evoked. She felt the mattress dip as Sam sat on the edge of the bed looking at her with concern etched on his face.
"So…" he stated after a few minutes, the silence hanging heavy in the air.
Andy looked at him her fingers playing with the edge of her duvet, "I saw them Sam," she admitted quietly her eyes darting down to study her fingers.
Sam moved slightly towards her on the bed, "Saw who, Andy?"
"The girls…" her voice hitched as she tried to deal with the images that played in her mind, "What happened to them. They were trapped in their rooms, I could hear them, but…" the tears that had been collecting in her eyes broke free and rolled slowly down her cheeks. Frustrated, Andy released her duvet and rubbed at her eyes with her fisted hands. "I was in the house, looking for them, but I couldn't find them," her voice had become barely more than a whisper.
Sam couldn't watch any longer, he moved so that he was sitting next to her, in one movement he placed his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest, "They're safe now."
She sniffed into his chest, turning her head slightly, "But their stories… how they survived…" she mumbled.
"That's it, Andy, they survived," his voice was reassuring and he rubbed small comforting circles on her back with his hands.
"But we were too late…"
"But we saved those girls… because of what you did at Jankovich's we saved them from a future that doesn't bare thinking about. We gave them their lives back and maybe their families too."
"You didn't hear their stories," she reasoned, the motion of his hands on her back soothing her slowly.
Sam placed a kiss on the top of her head, "No Andy, I didn't. You were the one who had the courage to sit there and listen to what had happened, you held their hands, you gave them hope. No one else could have done that as well as you could. Jo asked you to listen to them because she knew that you could handle it."
"But I can't!" she sniffed, "I had a nightmare!"
"The nightmare is your mind's way of dealing with what it heard today, you're trying to make sense of the horrible situation and to be frank there isn't any sense to be found. Those men are inhuman, there's no other way of describing them. But the one thing you have to remember is that you were the key in getting them Andy. They will never have the opportunity to hurt anyone again."
Andy relaxed a little, letting Sam's words sink in, after a moment she asked, "Do you have nightmares?" She felt him nod against the top of her head. She shifted slightly in his arms so that she could look at him, "Tell me?"
Sam inhaled deeply, "The one that haunted me the most was the day you were shot. Every night I would close my eyes and see you flying through the air and landing on the floor. But in my nightmares your vest didn't stop the bullet…" his voice broke with emotion at the thought of losing her. "All I could do was hold you as you slipped away."
She felt his arms tighten slightly as he spoke, "But that was months ago…" she whispered.
"And I still can't shake it and it always come back when you have a close shave at work, usually taking on a new twist. Tonight it was Jakub's henchmen strangling you and I didn't get there in time," he admitted quietly.
Andy let his words sink in, his nightmares were about her, she realised in that moment just how important she was to him. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, her fingers pulling gently on his tee shirt.
He released one of his hands and gently captured her chin in his fingertips, tilting her head so that he could look into her eyes, "You have nothing to be sorry for, you were doing your job and I have to learn to deal with it. Just like you have to deal when I'm in a dangerous situation. But I can't help having nightmares, just like you can't help it. But it doesn't mean you have to go through them alone anymore," he offered quietly.
A small smile graced her lips, "You don't have to go through yours alone, either."
Sam returned her smile, "Are you going to be okay?"
"Stay," she replied, her hands still fisted in his shirt. She met the intensity of his gaze with her own. "I don't want to be alone."
Sam smiled, "You're not going to run out on me, in the morning are you?"
She chuckled, "I did that once and I have no intention of repeating that mistake." She extricated herself out of his arms and moved across the bed, patting the empty side of the bed.
He smiled and pulled back the duvet, sliding under the covers next to her he laid on his back and looked at the ceiling, unsure of what Andy needed or wanted, knowing that if he had his wish, she'd snuggle into him and he'd fall asleep with her safely in his arms.
Andy lay on her back, internally arguing with herself whether or not she should take the risk of snuggling up to Sam. She studied his ceiling for a few moments, realising that he wasn't going to make a move and that she would have to. Working herself up to it, she took a deep breath before she suddenly rolled to her left, gently sliding her arm across his chest and resting her head against his shoulder.
"Didn't want to stay on your side, then Andy?" he asked, his voice laced with amusement.
She smiled, "No, it was rather lonely over there and cold."
"You only want me for my warmth?" he teased gently as he slid one hand down her back, his fingers massaging the exposed skin between the bottom of her tee shirt and the top of her sleep shorts.
"It's one of the many things I want, but for tonight I just want to sleep," she replied as her fingers began to draw lazy circles on his chest.
He captured the hand that was drawing circles on his chest and clasped her fingers between his, he pulled it up to his lips and kissed the back of her hand, speaking to her when he returned their joined hands to his chest, "Good night, Andy."
She smiled and leaned forward placing a chaste kiss on his neck, "Night, Sam, thank you."
"Anytime, McNally," he replied, before letting a comfortable silence fill the room, the only sounds that could be heard was the regular rhythm of their breathing.
Sunlight streamed through the bedroom window and danced across the bedroom wall as Andy slowly opened her eyes. She couldn't help but smile as she realised she was still wrapped in Sam's arms.
"What are you grinning about, McNally?" Sam asked, his hand moving up her back to play with her hair.
She tilted her head so that she could look at him, "Just thinking that I'd like to wake up like this every morning." She saw Sam's smile widen, his dimples fully exposed, at their sight her stomach flip flopped.
"Well, it could be easily arranged."
"I might take you up on your offer."
"What offer's that?" he teased.
"The one where I move in and maybe share your bed."
"Just maybe share my bed?"
She grinned, "Okay, not maybe, definitely, if you'll have me."
"Like you said, Andy, I could wake up with you in my arms every morning and fall asleep with you wrapped in them too."
"I like the sound of that."
"So, Andy, will you move in?" his brown eyes meeting hers and holding them a small hopeful smile on his lips.
She nodded, "Yes, Sam, I will."
Please let me know what you think! :) Next part this weekend all being well! :)
Sairs
