Summary: Heinz makes his own television channel, which includes shows like "Doof 'N' Puss" and "Doofenshmirtz Daily Dirt." (Parody of the PnF episode, "Ferb TV.")

This episode was a request from Fan. Fan also requested the following shows: "Platypus in a Staircase," "The Gang," and "Win, Lose, and Draw."


Doof TV

Heinz looked into the camera and said, "Okay, I know this isn't exactly what you're use to, but give it a shot. Also, now that I think about it, I-I'm pretty much just copying off an episode of Phineas and Ferb, but at least I have original shows. Well, mostly original. Anyway, behold! Doof TV!"


(This is a continuation of the B-plot in the PnF episode, "Nerds of a Feather.")

We now return to...

*Doof 'N' Puss* [[[In Sound]]]

"You want me?" The shape shifter asked threateningly. He returned to his original form, which was huge and grotesque. "You come get me!"

As the audience scattered in panic, they shouted things like, "Every man for himself!" and "Someone help us!" and "My watermelon!"

The monster ripped off part of the stage and threw it at Doof and Puss, who jumped out of the way in the nick of time. The screen then cut to a race car - one that looked a little like Lightning McQueen from the movies, Cars and Cars 2 - exploding for no apparent reason. Back to the previous scene.

Doof turned to his partner. "Any ideas, Puss?" The monster fired lasers from its eyes and barely missed the two of them. "It shoots lasers!?" Puss chattered. Doof nodded. "Okay. I'll stall him."

Puss quickly crawled under a table cloth and used his magician skills to disappear.

Doof did his part. "Hey, ugly!" He did a stupid dance. "Listen to what I'm saying, and look at what I'm doing!"

The monster just stared. His voice was now rather monstrous. "What the...?"

"Distraction! Distraction!" Doof chanted.

"I think I'll just see where this is going," the monster stated.

Puss, holding an over-sized push pin, appeared behind the monster. He jabbed the beast's heel with the push pin and was blown away by the air that came out of the hole in the heel. The shape shifter shrank until he was half of Puss's size.

"I got this," Doof stated.

He threw a tablecloth over the tiny creature. Puss pulled it off, and the creature was gone. With a triumphant smile, Puss gestured to the empty spot in a 'Ta-da' motion.


As an upbeat tune played, a shot of the Flynn-Fletcher house was shown. The words 'The Gang' shown for a few seconds in big, yellow letters.

Phineas and Ferb were on the living room couch with Isabella sitting between them. Buford was on the recliner, and Baljeet was fiddling with the television.

"Baljeet," Buford pointed at him, "fix the TV, already! If I'm bored for much longer, I'll turn into a cat-lady without the old-ness! (Road to Danville)" Laughter was heard.

Baljeet turned around, irritated. "I am doing the best I can! Will one of you get off your posteriors and help me?"

"I would, but," Buford reclined the chair back, "this chair wants me to lie down." Laughter was heard.

Isabella sighed. "Can't one of you men just call someone to come and fix the TV. Watching Baljeet do it is worse than watching half of today's stupid cartoons." More laughter.

Phineas giggled. "Isabella, this may be hard for you to comprehend, but men always know what they're doing."

"He's right," Ferb agreed. "Leave this to the boys in the building."

Isabella groaned. "I feel like I'm living in a poor attempt at a Friends parody." Even more laughter.


Back on 'Doof 'N' Puss,' the crowd was cheering for their saviors. A viking stated, "Doof and Puss have saved the day, once again."

"The Viking is right!" the real mayor agreed. "Let's party!"


(This little tune is a parody of Horse in a Bookcase from a few PnF episodes. This show specifically comes from the PnF episode, "Mandace.")

It's a platypus in staircase.

It's a platypus in staircase.

It's a platypus!

*chatter*

Perry walked down the stairs and suddenly became stuck. "Well, that happened." He looked down at his feet and scowled. Annoyed, he called, "Who put glue on the stairs?"


*It's time for Doofenshmirtz Daily Dirt* (I'd like to apologize ahead of time to bilaterus.)

"Salutations, everyone!" Heinz greeted. "Welcome to Doof's Daily Dirt! The show that's not actually a daily show, but we call it that, anyway. I used to be on YouTube, but now, uh... I-it's a long story. Let's just say, I want to post some more Daily Dirts on YouTube, but I'm not making any promises.

So, I was browsing the Internet, one day, and I came across this website, called Fanfiction. On this site, you can post fictional stories involving your favorite TV shows, movies, video games, ex cetera. Back when I was evil, I actually wrote story for that site, called 'Doof's (Evil) Phinabella Story.' It was pretty popular, but you know what really ticked me off? Someone with the screen name, bilaterus, took credit for my story! This person actually had the nerve to steal my story and post it as his own! Well, guess what, bilaterus, you are a stink-face! That's what you are! Then again, I-I've never actually met you, so you might not be as much of a stink-face as I think you are. Also, why am I calling you a stink-face? W-what does that even mean? That you have a stinky face? Your face probably smells fine.

Wow. I just realized that my entire rant has shifted from fanfiction to bad insults. Man, Perry the Platypus is right; I do tend to get off-topic. Anyway, fanfiction. It's cool. It's rad. It's jiggly. Is that a hip word? Jiggly? I think it is.

Well, I guess that's about it for Doof's Daily Dirt. Live long and propane! Did I say that right? Eh. I'm gonna roll with it."


Back on 'Doof 'N' Puss,' our heroes were now on stage and were celebrating their victory with everyone else. The band, Phineas and the Ferb-Tones (Flop Starz) were on stage.

The band's lead-singer, Phineas Flynn, held the microphone with one hand and pointed to the heroes with the other. "This one's for you, Doof and Puss!" The audience cheered. Phineas raised his fist in air and cried, "Hit it!" The band began playing their instruments.

(This song is a combination of Summer All Over the World from "Save Summer" and Summer (Where Do We Begin?) from Across the Second Dimension.)

-Phineas-

Hot dogs, cotton candy, tire swings, and barbecue.

Whether in the sun or in the shade, everything's a rockin' view.

Long as we work together, doesn't what we do.

Come on!

-Ferb-

Come on!

-Phineas-

Come on!

-Ferb-

Come on!

-Phineas-

The days are gettin' longer.

-Band-

We're havin' a party!

-Phineas-

The nights are gettin' shorter.

-Band-

We're havin' a party!

-Phineas-

The sun is shining brighter.

-Band-

We're havin' a party!

-Phineas-

It's noticeably warmer!

'Cause it's summer,

And every single moment is worth its weight in gold.

Summer

Is like the world's best story, and it's waiting to be told!

It's ice cream cones and cherry soda

Dripping down your chin.

It's summer!

Man, where do we begin?

Summer!

Where do we begin?


Phineas said from off-screen, "And now, it's 'Ferb Says Some Words.'" (Gravity Falls reference)

Ferb poured himself a bowl of cereal, looked at the camera, and said, "I've recently discovered that platypuses are not the only mammals to lay eggs. Echidnas lay them, as well."

Phineas's voice was heard once again. "This has been, 'Ferb Says Some Words.'"


Back on 'The Gang,' Baljeet was still fooling around with the TV. "I think that should do it."

Ferb picked up the remote and tried to turn the TV on, but TV burst into flames. Laughter was heard.


And now, for another installment of, 'Win, Lose, and Draw.' (Win, Lose, or Draw reference, as well as a parody of "Duck Amuck" and "Rabbit Rampage" from Looney Tunes.)

Candace sat her vanity, brushing her hair. A large pencil appeared out of nowhere and erased her hair brush, much to her surprise and annoyance. She groaned and smacked her forehead. "Not this again!" She stood up and looked around. The pencil snuck up on her from behind and drew a clown suit on her. "Hey! This isn't funny!" Now, the pencil drew a platypus costume on her (Perry Lays an Egg). Candace growled and shouted, "I have a date with Jeremy, and it does not include freakish pencils!"


*The Doofenshmirtz Building*

Heinz turned off the TV, which had a small purple box on top of it that read, 'Doof TV.' Heinz asked, "So, what do you guys think of Doof TV? Yay? Nay? Two thumbs up? Two thumbs down?"

Brooke and Vanessa, who were sitting on the couch, exchanged curious looks. Brooke told her husband, "Um, it's...unique."

Vanessa nodded. "Yes. Yes, it is."

Heinz pumped his fist. "Yes! You love it so much, you're speechless!"

The End


Who here misses Doof Daily on YouTube? Well, I've decided that I'd like to make a series of those to fulfill your Doof Daily needs! I'll probably post it, soon.

Also, bilaterus does own "Doof's (Evil) Phinabella Story." It's just that it was written in Doof's POV, so...

Anyway, I'm going to blast you with my review-inator, so you'll review this story!