Chapter Twenty-Eight


Err...Hi?

I swear I can explain. First, I went to New York City. To cut a long story short, it was about 30% fun and 70% hell, and when I came back home, I had a week of college homework to catch up on. Then I started watching a new show (okay, it's over ten years old now, but new to me) and lost inspiration for Merlin. Actually, I kind of lost inspiration for writing in general. School was incredibly busy, and my mom had a surgery which she is still recovering from and has to have me do a lot of extra work around the house and such to keep things going smoothly. So all in all, real life caught up to me all at once. Still, I should've found more time for writing, and I apologize. :)

Then, of course, I just had to feel unhappy with the majority of this chapter. Typical.

Heads up for a quite a lot of awkward hallway conversation in this one. And someone give Merlin a hug...I've made him very depressed. :(

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.

5/7/17: Due to technical issues, I deleted and re-posted this chapter.


"I should've gone to Arthur."

"Merlin…"

"Why did I go after him myself? Why didn't I tell the king what Mordred was planning so they could be stopped?"

"Merlin…"

"Or I just should have acted faster and stopped them both…Mordred took me by surprise…I shouldn't have been so soft on them…"

"Merlin!" Gaius shouted. Once the warlock had calmed down, Gaius continued, "Stop this. What's done is done. Besides, Mordred and Kara might have hurt and killed more people than those two guards had they met more resistance during their escape. You're lucky they didn't kill you. Now stop pacing and sit down before you collapse."

"I'm not going to collapse." Merlin muttered, but he sat down at the table in the physician's quarters and allowed Gaius to examine his head. It still hurt from the collision with the dungeon wall, though that had occurred the day before last. "Can't I go back to work, Gaius?" Anything to stop thinking about Mordred. And that girl.

He'd never find them now. He had failed.

Merlin honestly couldn't see a chance at reconciliation between Arthur and Mordred. They'll run straight to Morgana. So the king's fate is sealed.

He barely listened as Gaius said, "Well, perhaps you could assume some of your duties by this evening…"

The Diamair said that Arthur's bane was himself. I suppose he is; his own stubbornness…and my stupidity….will be the death of him.

"Merlin, are you listening to me?"

"Yes, Gaius." the warlock said tiredly.

Later, when he served dinner to the king and queen, he barely acknowledged their concerned questions about his injury.

I don't deserve their worry. I've failed them both.

I've failed Camelot.


"Haralda, I need to ask a favor." Gwaine said after he'd managed to take his cousin by surprise and drag her into a dark corner of a castle hallway.

"I'm busy." The armor-clad oprincess kept speaking, muttering, "You and your sorcerer-servant friend and your dragging people into alcoves…"

Gwaine decided that he had no desire to know what she was talking about and said impatiently, "Sure you're busy. Busy throwing things at the poor foot soldiers while they're training outside the walls and scolding them if they don't duck fast enough. How is that helpful?"

She glowered at him. "My father doesn't disapprove."

"So it's something you and him actually agree on. That still doesn't make it helpful."

After growling a few choice swear words, she finally said, "Fine, what is it you need so damn badly."

"Order Lady Cleva into a room that I can corner her in." Gwaine knew how bad that sounded, and quickly added, "Don't even go there, Haralda. I just want to talk with her."

"Whatever. If you need someone to order her around just do it yourself. You outrank her, you know."

"She won't listen to me. And I can't ask anyone else…she wouldn't take the twins seriously, my sister and Aldwyn would ask too many questions, and I don't want to bother our respective parents…especially Harlan, he broke another three chairs this morning alone…So can you do it?"

"What's in it for me?" Haralda said after a moment.

Gwaine sighed. "The king said that he would leave you behind if…when we go to war?"

"Yes." Haralda grumbled. "Says I'd be 'useful' here…useful, my arse; he just doesn't trust me…"

"I'll try to make sure you come with us."

"And how exactly will you accomplish that?"

"I'll ask my father to ask your father to let you travel with the army."

"Huh. That might actually work. It'll save me the trouble of sneaking along. Father listens to Uncle Goddard…usually…"

"So will you catch Cleva for me?" Gwaine asked hopefully.

Haralda narrowed her eyes at him, then said, "Yes. Wait here."

She strode off, leaving Gwaine thinking, That was…easier than I expected…

The curly-haired princess returned several minutes later, looking pleased. "Done. You'll speak to your father."

"Yes, I will tonight. Where is she?" Getting slightly suspicious, Gwaine asked sharply, "What did you do, Haralda?"

"I locked her in my chambers."

"What? I didn't ask you to lock her up like a prisoner!"

"My chambers are not a dungeon." Haralda snorted, producing a rusty key and handing it to him. "Now, you go chat with your darling Cleva, and I'll go down and 'throw things at the poor foot soldiers'." She turned and strode swiftly off, saying over her shoulder, "Be finished in my room by the time I come back."

You are a difficult woman, Haralda Barclayn. But apparently her methods of cornering people worked well. Gwaine hurried to her chambers, almost certain that Cleva would start screaming for help before long, princess's orders be damned.

She's no fool. She'll know I'm behind this…if Haralda didn't just tell her straight out.

Unfortunately, that was rather likely.

No way in hell I'm putting this off any longer, anyway.


Hayden had been let into the royal castle without much fuss, but he'd promptly gotten lost after that. His sense of direction was usually quite good…just not inside large stone buildings.

So he'd been relieved when he'd recognized Gwaine's voice around a corner, yet had soon given up on looking for help from that source. The Barclyan had clearly been in an intense conversation with Lady Cleva.

It had taken but a few moments for Hayden to realize that said conversation…or shouting match, rather…was not one he should be listening in on. He hastily backtracked down the hallway he was in and out of earshot of the two…friends.

Though it sounds as if they might be something more eventually. Hayden couldn't say he was surprised. Gwaine's reticence about Cleva's prolonged stay in Strathclyde had been enough to arouse suspicions. If they do have feelings for each other, as it seems, then they've both been idiots about it.

Hayden then reflected that he was being rather an idiot, too. Why was he here again?

Because I want to see Elen.

He hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since their last meeting. Usually he didn't like the company of people; with a very few exceptions, he preferred to have as little contact with them as possible. Even with those he could tolerate, Gwaine included, he preferred that they didn't stay too long. Elen was different. Despite her abruptness, her temper, he liked her company. He'd caught himself wishing that she could have stayed longer during her last visit.

She fascinated him. And he knew perfectly well why.

And for that same reason his usually calm, rational self had deserted him and sent him on this fool's errand. He wasn't planning to stay in the city long…the sheer number of people about had already nearly driven him to distraction. But he wanted to see Elen.

I suppose I should've asked for directions, he mused as the shadows of mid-afternoon lengthened across the castle halls.

He was snapped out of his reverie when someone collided with him, causing him to lose his balance and sit down hard on the stone floor.

"Sorry!" Princess Hertha, whom Hayden barely knew by sight, bounced up from where she'd fallen across the hallway from him. "Who are you, anyway?"

"Hertha!" One of the twin princes…Elwin, Hayden quickly realized…came around the nearest corner. "Running ahead like that is hardly helpful if you wanted to talk…Hayden? What are you doing here?"

Hayden pushed himself to his feet, his explanation cut off by Hertha's excited exclamation, "You're the Wyverndomitor!"

"Yes, I am." Hayden inclined his head slightly. "Your Highness."

"Oh, don't bother with that; she's vain enough already." Elwin ruffled his sister's curls. "You didn't say what…"

"I'm not planning on staying long." Hayden said quickly.

"You can stay as long as you like! You can stay in one of the guest rooms…I'm sure Father won't mind…actually, we don't even need to tell him…he's a bit on edge these days…"

"Or I could just stay at the inn…I left the horse I borrowed from the village there…"

"Can you ride a wyvern?" Hertha piped up.

Momentarily taken aback, Hayden said, "I've never tried. Never thought about it." Though perhaps when I was a very small child…

"Why not?"

"Because it would most likely entail a quick and painful death, Hertha." Hayden spun around to find Elen approaching them, her fair hair hanging loose for once, rather than being held in a braid. She seemed vaugely amused. "That's why you don't ride scaly creatures with rows of razor-sharp teeth. And your mother is looking for you."

Hertha let out a dramatic sigh. "Does she want me to come right now?"

"I'm assuming yes." Elen said with a slight smile.

The young princess sighed again before setting off down the corridor. "Bye, Wyverndomitor!" she shouted as she went.

The brief silence that followed was broken when Elen said, "Elwin, do you have somewhere to be?"

"Well, not really, but…" He shrank under the glare his cousin leveled at him. "I'll…I'll go see what Everard's up to."

Once he'd left, Elen turned to Hayden. "You're an unexpected visitor. I don't know if…Have you ever come to the city before?"

"Years ago." Hayden replied. The way her brown eyes were narrowed at him made him almost nervous.

I'd say she's curious, but she almost looks angry…or scared…

"Are you staying in the castle or…" she trailed off hesitantly.

"I was planning on the inn in the town…it's just for one night."

"What about your wyverns? I didn't think you leave all of them alone much…"

"I don't. Flyta said she'd keep an eye on them this time."

"That's…interesting. Can she handle them?"

"I think so."

Another pause ensued before Elen asked, "What are you doing here, anyway? Did you want to see Gwaine? I think I saw him earlier…"

"I came to see you." Hayden said quietly.

She paled visibly. Swallowing, she muttered, "That's what I was afraid of."

He didn't respond, waiting for her to continue.

She soon did. "Hayden…I…You've been so kind to me…I cannot thank you enough for your consideration towards me, when I kept invading your privacy. But if I've given you any wrong ideas…if I've been 'leading you on', so to speak I apologize." She stopped, biting her lip.

Hayden allowed a few moments to pass before he said, "Who told you to say that to me, Elen?"

She flushed, her expression going from composed to furious in an instant. "Excuse me?"

"I've gotten to know you as of late, Elen, and you do not talk like that. Someone gave you those words. I'm asking you who."

Her gaze bored into his. "My mother." she ground out.

That surprised him. I'd think Lady Ela would be more sympathetic…No, that's not it. She's being protective, with very good reason. That isn't the problem."You're not the sort to let your mother speak for you. You're too stubborn for that."

Elen opened her mouth, then closed it again. Finally, she said slowly, "My brother…he said something the other day…said that I 'fancied' you."

He felt his heartbeat quicken. "Do you?" he asked.

"I…" She looked down. "Hayden, you know me, what…what I've been through. It's not that I don't…but I'm afraid I couldn't…" Her words halted with a choking sound.

Tough as steel, but fragile. A beautiful contradiction. He stepped closer to her, cautiously. "Elen, be honest with me like you know you can. Do you believe I would ever force you into anything?"

"Besides making me chop firewood?" She looked up again with a soft noise of amusement. Then, sincerely, with no hesitation, she said, "No."

I had to make her understand. She does. Nodding, he said softly, "Exactly." He turned and began to walk away, momentarily forgetting his lack of direction through the castle. "I'll be at the inn; I'm going home tomorrow."

"Hayden, wait." He stopped as she caught up to him, expecting her to offer him a room in the castle as Elwin had. She didn't; she didn't say anything. Instead, she leaned up and pressed her lips to his.

It was gentle, chaste, and lasted all of two seconds only to be broken by the sound of clanging bells.


Gwaine had been close to banging his head against a wall before the warning bells had started ringing.

I truly am the biggest fool to walk the earth.

How had he not seen this coming? His relief at knowing that his worst fear had not occurred was practically overcome by his intense frustration with himself.

And he was usually so perceptive when it came to women, too.

Just not this time.

He had confronted Cleva in Haralda's chambers. Her initial resistance to speaking openly to him quickly crumbled as she lost her temper.

When she finally blurted out exactly what had happened last Samhain, he didn't blame her for her fury.

"Cleva, what did you say to me last Samhain that I responded badly to?"

"I said it doesn't matter!"

"Clearly it does, so would you just bloody well tell me before I have to command you to?"

"You…Fine. I'll say it. Gwaine, you damn noble fool, I'm madly in love with you. There. Now go ahead and laugh at me like you did then."

This revelation had been followed by the raven-haired lady storming out of the room. He'd managed to stop her in the hall outside, whereupon they had started shouting at each other again.

They had ended up laughing, albiet hysterically. The entire situation had begun to look slightly ludicrous in hindsight.

"I was drunk! I barely remember that night at all, let alone remember you saying you were in love with me or laughing at you…

"I…I thought you'd stopped drinking!"

"I may have had a relapse of sorts! Couldn't you tell I was drunk?"

"I wasn't thinking straight, all right!"

"Well, that made two of us!"

It had ended with him telling her he was sorry for his insensitivity, her saying she forgave him for getting drunk but not for being an idiot afterwards, and both of them avoiding the real issue which had caused this mess in the first place. Cleva had claimed fatigue from horse riding earlier, and Gwaine had let her go without more than a quick confirmation that they still were friends, despite everything.

However, if what she had said to him last Samhain was still true, as he assumed it was…

She wanted to ask me what my real feelings towards her were…are, I could see that, but she decided not to. Somewhere in her laughing fit she must've lost her nerve.

Once again, he couldn't blame her.

Every passing minute made him feel more guilty. I shouldn't have let her hurry off before we cleared things up further…

Though how that would have worked out was a complete mystery to him. He was so confused right now he honestly didn't know what he did or did not feel for Lady Cleva.

At least I didn't harm her, though I may or may not have broken her heart…

Having women tell him they were in love with him was not exactly a new experience for Gwaine. Usually it had been when neither he nor the woman in question were sober and it had never meant anything.

One of his oldest friends saying it to him was a completely different matter.

Why is the one woman unrelated to me that I haven't tried to flirt with the one who apparently wants the most from me?

He had far less than sufficient time to work anything out in his mind before the warning bells starting clanging.

As if this afternoon couldn't get any more insane…


Predictably, the council chambers were in absolute chaos when Everard reached them. Knights, counselors, and other members of the court milled about, all talking loudly, their voices nearly deafening in the confined space.

Several of the council members look panicked, Everard observed. Nearly colliding with Elwin at the door, he asked, "Do you have any idea…?"
"None." Elwin's face was unusually pale as the twins entered the crowded room together. Pushing their way to the front of the room, they stopped next to one of the tables closest to the throne, silently observing the chaos.

"There's Hayden. Elen brought him with her."

Everard frowned upon hearing his brother's whisper. "What? Hayden? Where?"

Elwin pointed across the room, where Lady Elen was positioned half behind a worn pillar. Sure enough, Hayden was standing behind her. "When did he get here?" Everard demanded.

"Not long ago, an hour or two, maybe? He didn't say why he was here…"

"You spoke to him?"

"Briefly. Then Cousin Elen showed up and obviously wanted to talk to him alone, so…"

Everard was prevented from responding to that by King Harlan's entrance through a side door and the subsequent shushing of the assembled crowd. Aldwyn and Goddard followed him; the older prince leaned heavily on the back of the throne as the king faced the people within the room. The bells stopped ringing in the distance.

When Harlan did not speak immediately, a few whispers broke out among a group of young knights near the back of the room. "Silence!" roared Aldwyn from where he stood next to his father, his voice making everyone jump.

The following quiet did not last long. Harlan's booming voice rang out, serious yet holding a hint of dark satisfaction. "We have received news from Deira. We are now at war with Amata."

War. So it was finally happening. Everard felt sick and excited all at once.

He felt Elwin's hand grip his arm; he could sense his twin's panic. "Don't worry." he murmured.

But as Harlan began to elaborate on a general plan of action, Everard's wandering gaze found Gwaine across the room. Something about the concerned look his cousin gave him reminded Everard painfully his last battle experience.

"Don't worry"? Who the hell am I kidding?


Mordred didn't know exactly how Kara found Morgana's encampment so quickly and he didn't really care.

So far on the journey he had learned that Morgana had allied herself with the charismatic outlaw sorcerer known as "The Cunning One" and together they had masterminded the attempted assassination of Arthur. The plan had been to provoke war between Camelot and Amata, in an attempt to weaken both kingdoms if not destroy at least one of them. Alvarr and Morgana would, of course, add their fighters to Sarrum so that Camelot's defeat would be more certain. Later, Amata would also be taken over, or such was the plan. According to Kara, Morgana was keeping her involvement in the planned war secret because of her previous run-in with Sarrum and saw the man's army as a tool to regain "her" throne. The arrogant king and his country were to be dealt with after all else was settled in Camelot.

Kara sounded excited as she spoke of battle plans and strategies, of the sorcerers… some powerful, some not…who had joined Morgana, of the defeat of the Pendragon and the time of freedom and magic that would follow. Mordred, however, found he could not share her excitement.

He loved Kara, though it pained him to see her so bloodthirsty and vicious. His budding hatred for Arthur and his kind was very present, yet his fear of what Morgana had become filled his mind. He was angry at Merlin for his actions, but he felt almost sick as he remembered the warlock's body slamming into the stone wall and falling with a dull thud.

He would smile when Kara spoke of the future, he would feign anticipation of the battles and victories to come, but he felt afraid. As they lay together, she fast asleep in his arms, he would look to the star-strewn sky and wonder if he'd made the right choice after all.

Then he would imagine her dangling from the hangman's rope, gone forever because he hadn't helped her. His grip on her would tighten. It was worth it. I had to save her. Arthur went too far. I was wrong about him. I had to save Kara.

His resolve strengthened as their journey continued.

Only to nearly crumble again when they finally stood before Morgana and her ally Alvarr.

"My old friend. You nearly killed me last time we met." she sneered, her cold eyes roving over him. "Why did you bring him here, Kara?"

Kara proceeded to tell the whole story of the failed assassination attempt, her capture, and her friendship with Mordred and how he had freed her.

"So, your loyalty to Kara was stronger than your loyalty to my half-brother." Morgana drawled as Kara's story came to a close. The High Priestess laughed softly, chillingly. "In this case, it seems love conquers all, doesn't it, Alvarr?"

Alvarr muttered something and turned away. Morgana smirked and looked to Mordred. "Welcome back, Mordred. Your help will be most…appreciated."

She does not trust me. I do not blame her. But she has not failed my trust, as Arthur did.

Kara gripped Mordred's hand so tightly it hurt. "We will not disappoint you, my lady."

"See that you don't." Morgana turned away from them, making a gesture of dismissal.

"My lady…" Kara said suddenly. "There is something we did not tell you yet. Something you may find invaluable."

Mordred's heart started to pound as Morgana turned back, looking faintly interested. Wait, Kara…Mordred thought desperately.

She needs to know, Mordred. "My lady, you spoke to me once of the sorcerer called Emrys, of how you sought his true identity."

Morgana's eyes widened. "Yes? Have you discovered something?"

Kara nodded, smiling, as the thudding of Mordred's heart threatened to drown out her next words. "I…We discovered his true name."

From his position several yards away, Alvarr tensed visibly, his eyes narrowing as he stared at the two young druids; but he remained silent.

"Tell me." The words were whispered from white lips.

"He's a mere manservant." Kara scoffed. "Or pretends to be. His name is Merlin."

His limbs turned to ice with a mixture of fear, anticipation, and regret, Mordred shut his eyes momentarily. When he opened them, Morgana was standing frozen, her gaze blank as a choked gasp sounded in her throat. No longer white, she turned briefly grey, grey as the stone that seemingly made up her heart. The world had clearly tilted…no, turned upside-down…for her in the space of a single word.

Nothing would ever be the same again. Not for Morgana, not for Merlin, not for anyone.

Certainly not for Mordred.

There's no turning back now.


If you guys are still reading, let me just say that you're all amazing. Thanks for all the support!

Have a great day/night!