During my ride, I was constantly looking back checking if someone was following me, feeling anxious. After all, there was nothing that hadn't spiralled out of control, to the extent, where the cab driver asked me if everything was alright. I mumbled out something corrigible to him.
Back in the sanctuary of my bedroom, I collapsed on the sheets with a quite sob, all energy drained. Tonight's events had left me numb. Numb and scared. Christian was the one guy who I really felt attracted to. Since the beginning, I was so apprehensive against giving him myself, because I had the feeling if I fell for him, I'll fall hard and he won't be there to catch me when I did. He'd be long gone—moved on. I admit, I was enjoying teasing him. But it was just harmless teasing. I never meant to provoke him.
It being near midnight, I succeeded in evading Kate. Well, that was impossible, I only succeeded because she had already retired to bed when I arrived. The next day though, she was at my tail, asking me all types of questions. The journalist in her was at me with full vigour.
"Kate please!"
"Ana, God, I've been so worried. I can't believe I fell asleep last night. I was waiting for you and then I was out."
"Turns out you were worried for nothing." I smiled at her a little too brightly.
She looked at me suspiciously, then followed me into the kitchen, "What happened. Okay listen... just tell me if you're alright. Did he say something to you? Tell me. Ana! I'll kick his ass! I swear I will! And you can watch while I do it!"
I sighed. There was no winning with her, was it? "I—I'll not be... umm... seeing him again."
"Why? What happened?"
I worried my lip, scouring my brain for a lie that she wouldn't catch on to. "We're not compatible..." I shrugged. Even though Kate was my best-friend, I felt disclosing everything to her would lead to nothing but more problems. I loved Kate, but she was too hot-headed to not react. She might say something to him. And if he was planning to leave me alone, he might change his mind after that. I quelled the shiver of fear that raced my heart at that.
"OhmyGod Ana did the fucker ditch you or something?"
"...some—something like that." I mumbled, keeping my back to her, so she couldn't see my eyes and discern that I was lying.
"Ana you know you're not making any sense right."
"Ugh, Kate, I was not what he wanted." That was somewhat true right? I mean if I told Kate that I was the one who did the ditching, then she'll wring the rest of the truth out of me with her scary Kate-tactics.
I chanced a quick glance at her face and she was looking at me with something akin to sympathy, "Ana don't get me wrong, I don't like the guy. And as your best friend I don't like the thought of him with you, but how fucking dare he? I mean look at you. You're so beautiful! I'm... just surprised... since... he seemed so into you, you know. He was literally crazy about you the last time I met him! But you know what, I'm happy for you! You were too inexperienced for a seasoned cynic like him. I'm glad. He always reminded me of a shark. He would've chewed and spit you out. But I still don't understand..." Kate went on rambling. I sighed at the familiarity. My ears perked and I was struck stunned when she babbled, "...that asshole! Especially since he scared the shit out of me at the club that day. Threatened me that if I came between you two, I won't like the consequences—"
"Kate? wait wait wait," A familiar feeling rose inside me—rage. How dare he threatened my friend? And why hadn't she told me before. If I knew about that, I would have had an inkling to what I was getting myself into. "Why didn't I know about this before?"
Kate looked down, "Now that I think about it, it was stupid of me to not warn you. You liked him so much, so I didn't want to ruin it for you. You know how I can be a pain in the ass? I thought I had simply pushed him over the edge because of my intrusiveness. I would've told you though, I promise. I just didn't want to cloud your judgement about him. I would've felt guilty, if you guys didn't have the chance just because I didn't like him or more like coaxed you away from him. That's all. You don't hate me do you?"
Oh Kate. "No, you crazy. Of course not. You should've told me sooner though."
"That fucker though!"
"Well he spit me out before he chewed me, so no harm done right?"
Kate slid down the kitchen counter she was perched on and gave me a side hug. "God Ana you must be feeling horrible. That idiot, dropping you like this."
"I'll live." I mumbled.
Kate, bless her, for few days, was all tender around me. She thought me hurt and slighted. She even tried to introduce me to a few guys. I appreciated her efforts, but getting roped into guys was the least of my priorities at the moment.
Next day, Taylor did not come to pick up the gifts and the car that Christian had given me. The liar! Or maybe I wasn't that important. Maybe he forgot me sooner than I ever could.
Since his car was too expensive, I had sane reasons and was weary of keeping it for too long. Someone could steal it or whatnot. I didn't want that on my conscience or my bank account. Also, I only had one parking spot and currently his car was occupying it. I had to park Wanda—my only property—on the back of the building which was inconvenient to say the least.
I didn't want to contact him. A week onwards, I reluctantly gave in. Initially, I tried contacting him with as much self-respect and courage as I could muster, with no response whatsoever. It looked like he had blocked me. Feeling oddly insulted and a little peeved, I cursed myself for not having Taylor's contact. Grey's was the only contact I had.
Then I had to swallow my pride and apparently tried contacting his PA's secretary, but turned out the internet had wrong information. No surprises there.
I contacted his office and asked if I could talk to Mr. Grey. After being pestered by me for three days, they got tired of me claiming that Mr. Grey was familiar with me. I asked them if they'd just let him know Ms. Steele wanted to talk. One of the telephone operators, the kind-sounding man, finally conceded into granting me a favour. My relief at that was short-lived; I was given the option to talk to his PA, over the phone. However, even for that, I would have to wait on the list for a month. Since she only dealt with VIP elite contacts and could rarely find time for something that wasn't directly related to GEH or Mr. Grey's immediate business.
It was slowly beginning to dawn on me how big of a deal Christian Grey really was. Not slowly, to be honest, I was constantly getting hit in the face by the fact.
Now the only choice I was left with was to abandon his car outside Escala. Kate tried to warn me against it. But I had toppled beyond the point of propriety or rationality. Besides she was the one who had tracked down his residential address when she wanted his interview taken. So why not use something that was already available?
That day, I had an interview in about two hours at a publishing firm. I packed all his stuff, including the dress, took the keys to his car and drove to Escala—the car was so comforting and different than I was used to, it was making me uncomfortable. I intended to leave the car with the keys and the gifts safely tucked inside it, outside his building. The voice of apprehension tapped on my conscience from time to time—someone might steal it—but I had it swiftly suppressed. Before I changed my mind, I pasted a paper on the car with Christian Grey written on it. It was childish. But it was all I had in my power.
I never could have assumed that the building security—having seen me pasting his name on the car—would have called Grey's personal security, before I could scurry away. Damnit!
My plan was to cleverly make a dash, however, my gasp was instantaneous when I came face to face with a stoic-faced Taylor. He looked behind me at the car and his brow rose. "I tried everything, okay, I did!" My face flushed when he shook his head like he was gently chiding me.
I quickly opened the car door and took the keys out to hand it over to him.
His eyes crinkled, "Ms. Steele." He nodded, acknowledging me in his all Taylor way.
I smiled bashfully at him. I had forgotten how quietly comforting his presence always was.
Before I could hand over the keys, all blood drained from my face when I saw Christian's powerful forbidding form on the back seat of his black sleek Mercedes, parked on the side. To complete the affect, he wore a black suit, looking like a fallen angel, his features appearing beautiful and sinister. I had to look away. Taylor must have been dropping him off to his office. There was a strangeness to him. An odd harshness. Considering our brief history together, it was something I hadn't seen before.
"Wait." Taylor said and turned towards the Mercedes to rap at Mr. Grey's window. As the glass lowered, I heard Taylor, "Sir, uh, Ms. Steele is here to return the car."
"Who?" He responded carelessly. I gasped. A sharp breath left Taylor as well. Grey looked past Taylor's shoulder, straight into my eyes. He wasn't looking at me before. But when he did, I wished he hadn't. "Oh, her." He appeared completely uninterested, as though he had never known me. With no familiarity in his body language or in his eyes whatsoever.
Taylor gave me a quick look, appearing uncomfortable. "She came to return the car."
"I don't understand Taylor why we're held up here. The car can wait. I have a meeting in forty minutes. She can wait. My meeting can't. Get rid of her."
I felt numb for a second with humiliation. Numb and small. All those insecurities girls felt since they were little came back crashing down on me. My hands felt clammy when I balled them into fists. Don't cry. Don't cry.
Grey was back at his phone. Not even looking smug at insulting me. It was as though I was too insignificant. Like a pest.
"Do you have a ride Ms. Steele?" Taylor cleared his throat as I handed over the car keys with a quivering hand. He noticed my hand and swallowed.
I was going to take the bus, I had an hour left before my interview started. I needed to get myself together. "No—" I almost whimpered. I tried not to. But I did.
"Taylor!" Snapped Grey. "I'm late. Tell her to get the fuck out of here. If I see her again scouring my property, I'll put a restraining order."
I was gob-smacked, my legs on the verge of giving out. Nobody had ever treated me that way.
Taylor looked even more uncomfortable. He gave me a look of pity and swivelled around, towards the car. Grey didn't even glance at me before the car raced past me, making me feel... unimportant. Stupid. An idiot. A bloody nobody. My lower lip wobbled. A thick tear quickly rolled down my cheek. Today, Mr. Grey, the billionaire CEO, had put me in my place.
And I understood—loud and clear. He wasn't going to do anything to me. The notion was now rendered laughable. In fact, I irritated him. He irritated me too, but he was so severe with me... He humiliated me. I hiccuped, tightly clinching my coat together, feeling vulnerable. He was the one who threatened me, harassed me, I thought. Why was he the one acting so indignant?
Today I was left even more petrified of him than I was a week ago, if that was even possible. Now having tasted his ruthlessness and indifference, I was glad I hadn't gotten involved with him. I was right in thinking he would've dropped me like a week-old trash when he was done with me.
Welcome back to reality you stupid girl; he's a billionaire; you're nothing. Today, you felt that divide while he hurled you back into reality with a snap of his fingers. Turns out what you told Kate, was truer than you believed. A rude awakening. You're not as special as you thought.
During the bus-ride from Escala to the publishing firm, my tears kept on flowing.
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