AN: Thank you as always for your reviews, faves and alerts. Thank you to my awesome Beta Nithu and to the wonderful Cheeky Monkeys!
Bioware owns all - drat!
Chapter 28: Insight
They made camp near a forested area. Tents went up, watches were set, and Zevran was starting supper. One of the other benefits of having the Antivan in the group was that he was quite a good cook. He had already treated the party, whose taste buds had gone numb from Alistair's cooking, to the most interesting combinations of spices and flavors. Zevran's take on Ferelden Lamb and Pea stew was such a winner that Alistair actually relinquished the cooking duties to Zevran. Siobhan could cook but Alistair, for reasons he would never articulate, wouldn't let her. After one particularly dismal meal of something unidentifiable, Siobhan was on point of issuing a command-order to let her cook; except that, at the time, she was seven months pregnant, and was so tired by day's end she really couldn't summon the energy.
On the long walk back from Denerim, Zevran and Leliana had managed to catch some rabbits, which he was now roasting over the fire. In addition, he was cooking up some combination of nuts, berries, greens, and mushrooms that was making everyone's mouth water.
Morrigan had already set up her campsite away from the main camp, which was typical, but recently she had started joining them for meals. Since they left Denerim, Siobhan started using the time before dinner to chat with Morrigan. At first the mage was reticent, but Siobhan's honest interest in what Morrigan thought and felt was a unique thing to the mage, and she started to relax more in Siobhan's presence. They talked about many things, like the nature of power, how women's roles differed throughout Ferelden. Siobhan began to learn that Morrigan was raised to seek power, but not what to do with it once she had it. Morrigan, it seemed, wasn't really raised to think about the future. It seemed odd, but Morrigan could never articulate a solid future goal for her life.
Tonight though, Morrigan was the one eager to ask questions of Siobhan.
"How does it feel to carry something…someone…inside of you?" Morrigan asked when they were settled with their pre-dinner tea.
Siobhan thought about it for a moment. "It's like having a constant companion. When I'm alone, I'm not really alone."
Morrigan arched an eyebrow. "Does that not bother you?"
"Actually, it's comforting; I talk to the baby, who reacts to sounds and movement. For example, when the baby was really kicking the other night, I sang to my stomach and the kicking stopped."
"Do you…love it, even though you've never seen it?"
Siobhan smiled. "Honestly, I didn't realize how much I loved the baby until I felt the first solid kick. That made it all very real." Siobhan watched Morrigan carefully and asked, "Have you ever thought of having a baby?"
Morrigan laughed. "Tell me a way to have one without being bound to a man, and I might consider it!"
Siobhan knew that this was the tone of voice Morrigan used when things got too personal, when Morrigan was not entirely being honest; it was how she hid. Interesting, Siobhan thought.
"Morrigan, you always seem to be so attuned to the wilderness. Wherever we camp, you always seem…I don't know how to explain it…comfortable? Was it just growing up in the wilds?"
" 'Twas that, in part,…but it was also because I was taught how to observe and to be a part of the wilds."
"You mean your shape-shifting?"
Morrigan shook her head. "I learned, the hard way, that being in the shape of an animal is not enough to understand what it is to be that animal. I am still human, but in animal form I have senses that I really did not know how to use. I was trained by a Chasind tribal elder. You might have met him in the fade."
"Udell. Yes, we met."
Morrigan nodded, looking at Siobhan closely. Siobhan's next question was unexpected and distracted Morrigan from further study.
"Could you teach me some of what you learned?"
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Anora was standing in her bedchamber, looking out the window. The news from the Bannorn was increasingly bad. The darkspawn were running wild, spreading the blight throughout the country, and the civil war upon them.
If I don't act soon, there will be nothing left of Ferelden to rule.
Turning away from the window, she looked at the portrait of her mother. Anora remembered growing up, watching her mother trapped in a marriage that seemed to be one born of convenience, rather than of love.
Typical for Fereldan nobility, Anora scoffed. Women are chattels, sold into marriages to breed their precious heirs. I never wanted that. I wanted to be the one in command. I stuck close to my father while growing up, because I wanted to learn. Learn the ways of politics, of court, of power.
Her eyes moved to a smaller portrait of her and Cailan.
Then I met Cailan.
Anora remembered her first reaction to Cailan. They were teenagers; he was tall, blond, handsome, and radiated Theirin charm. She chided herself for being so taken with him, but she wanted him from the first time they met. During the first years of their marriage, Anora even fancied herself to be in love with him. She found Cailan open to her opinion and thoughts; he actually allowed her to make decisions, and followed her counsel. He was the face of Ferelden; she ran the kingdom. It was a status quo that Anora could live with, except for the issue of an heir.
It wasn't that they didn't try. Maker knows Cailan was insatiable. Months became years, and then the murmuring began. Suddenly, all of her intelligence and wise counsel meant nothing. All that mattered to Cailan's advisors, to people like his Uncle Eamon, was her womb, her empty womb. To Cailan's credit, he refused to listen to his advisors, but Anora knew better. At some point he would have no choice. Of course, everyone assumed it was my fault; a Theirin man couldn't be anything but virile.
That's when she started to realize that if she wanted to stay on the throne, she would either have to keep playing nice with Cailan, and hope for the best, or she would have to take the throne herself.
Ever the strategist, as soon as she married Cailan, Anora began to develop her own espionage network. She understood the value of information and of knowing people's secrets. Shortly before Gareth met Siobhan, Anora discovered information about a failed attempt to plant documents in Urien Kendall's estate. The culprits were Orlesian, and the leader had turned on one of her own bards. The betrayed bard, a young woman named Leliana, was rescued by Reverend Mother Dorethea and was now a lay sister at the Chantry. From there, it took Anora's network very little effort to find out the leader's identity.
Then came word of Bryce and Eamon's visits to Orlais, and Cailan's frequent visits to Redcliffe. Cailan was starting to take more notice of the politics and issues facing Ferelden and Thedas. He even started to question some of her decisions. Anora, started to grow increasingly worried about her security as Queen, and she felt it was time to move to a more permanent solution.
Growing up, Anora was painfully aware of her father's fervent, often obsessive, love of Ferelden. He would do anything to protect it. She figured if she could just push him in the right direction, she could use that obsession to her advantage.
Remembering the information on the Orlesian spy, Marjolaine, Anora started to plan. While she had no Orlesian contacts, she knew someone who did. It was easy to convince Rendon Howe to seek out Marjolaine. Anora simply explained that she needed information on possible internal threats to Ferelden security and that there was no one she trusted more than him to secure that information. Howe practically preened at the compliment and set about doing Anora's bidding.
Worried about the dangerous path she had laid, Anora kept telling herself, that like her father, she would do whatever was necessary to secure Ferelden. Ferelden was a strong land and it needed a strong Queen. Nothing, and no one else, mattered. While she had hoped that Gareth and Siobhan would be untouched by her plans even that became a secondary consideration.
Through Howe, information started coming in, Anora didn't care if it was true or not, that wasn't the point. The information was explosive, and precisely what she needed to have trickle down to her Father, while keeping her involvement secret. She just needed to find a way.
An opportunity arose when Howe had been arrogant enough to bring Marjolaine to Denerim, to show her that he was a man of power. That gave Anora an opportunity to arrange a meeting with the Orlesian bard.
They met in a small house in Denerim.
"I would not have expected to be entertaining the Queen of Ferelden. I am impressed that you were able to find me."
"It's amazing how easy it can be to motivate people into divulging secrets."
"I have always thought so. Now, as I am not dead nor in the dungeons, I think that you have business with me, yes?"
"I will be frank with you. I want you to blackmail Rendon Howe."
"Now why would I do that? He has his uses, and he pays very well."
"Really, I would never have thought that his sexual skills would be good enough to dissuade you from increased profits."
Marjolaine smiled, "And what protections do I have from you if he tries to expose me?"
"Marjolaine, I'm surprised at you. Surely you have someone to use as a scapegoat, someone already my kingdom perhaps? A certain bard, who is merely a loose -end you need to tie up?"
Marjolaine smiled. "I have underestimated you; your information is very, very good. What assurance do I have that if Howe tried anything stupid, you will allow me to, how do you say, 'tie up that loose end' and not just expose me?"
Anora smiled, "Because it is more important to me that I be able to manipulate Howe than it is to cross you."
"That, and I can expose your little secret, no?"
"As I can expose yours."
Marjolaine extended her hand. "We seem to have an understanding… and an agreement."
Anora laughed as she remembered how angry Howe had been when Marjolaine started to blackmail him. Anora had soothed him and said that all would be washed clean when she controlled the throne.
Once her father started reviewing Ferelden's military readiness, Anora made sure he discovered Howe's financial predicament. She knew her father; he would see this as an opportunity to use Howe. Now Anora would be able to use Howe, directly, to fan the flames of father's fear, keeping suspicion away from her.
All was going splendidly, until Cailan's last trip to Orlais, the Darkspawn, and the debacle at Ostagar. She tried to salvage what she could of her plans, but it was time to push her father over the edge and for her to take the reins. That she could do this without remorse did not surprise Anora. She was only able to do this was because her father valued Ferelden above everything, and everyone.
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Teagan had just finished reading the message from Siobhan, when a servant ran up to him.
"Landis, what is it?"
"My Lord, the falconer needs you at once. There is a hawk with a message. He said to come quickly."
Teagan didn't think twice, and followed Landis. They reached Garrett, the falconer, who motioned for them to approach slowly. On his arm was a hawk, wearing a message capsule. The hawk was magnificent, regal, but what really caught Teagan's attention, and that of the Falconer, was the intelligence in the hawk's eyes.
Teagan spoke first. "Garrett, have you retrieved the message yet?"
"No, my Lord, every time I reach for the capsule it shakes its head and squawks, and then it just stays perched. I asked if the message was for someone specific, and the hawk actually nodded. When I mentioned your name, the hawk nodded again. I think, my Lord, the message is meant for you. But clearly this isn't a normal hawk, if this is some kind of demon…"
The hawk reacted to the word "demon" by fluttering its wings and squawking angrily.
"Clearly he's offended by that remark, Garrett." Teagan smiled. He approached the Falconer and looked directly at the bird. "I am Teagan Guerin, Bann of Rainesfere. I understand you have a message for me?"
The hawk stuck out its leg, allowing Teagan to remove the capsule and read Gareth's note to Siobhan. Gareth had included a few words for Teagan, that proved the message was from him. Teagan looked at the hawk. "I have a return message; can you see that it gets into the hands of the one who sent you?"
The hawk nodded.
Teagan took Siobhan's note, placed it in the message capsule, and tied it back on the hawk's leg.
"Are you hungry?" Teagan asked the hawk.
The hawk shook his head
"Shall we just send you on your way?"
The hawk nodded.
"Then, thank you for delivering these messages; I bid you a safe journey."
The hawk nodded again and flew away.
Throughout this exchange Garrett simply looked at Teagan like he had grown a third head. Teagan chuckled and patted Garrett on the shoulder. "Garrett, in the last several months, this is the least strange thing I've seen."
"If you say so, my Lord."
Teagan went back to the castle with a sense of hope.
