*Drum rolls across page*
Well that wasn't what I expected. Not what I expected at all. While I go and catch that drum before the school band notices it is missing, and so we can do this properly, you go read what is below. Seeing as we do not have a majority in the Pole, time to move on to round two. Pick one or the other, that's it! The final result will come in two weeks. Honest. Mark your calendar if you wish! If you voted in Round One, you can now vote again!
Remember to review. And Enjoy. And Laugh. And vote, if you want.
Lt. Arti West sat at the lunch table in the back left corner of the Rec. Room, waiting for the others. The few weeks of promotions were almost over, with only a few departments left. She sighed, and chased here peas around her plate with her fork.
"Hiya Arti!"
She looked up. "Grant, hey."
Grant O'Shea sat down. He was smiling.
"What's that look for, Grant? You get the promotion?" West asked.
"Nope!" O'Shea replied. "That went to one Ensign now Lieutenant Pavel Chekov."
"And you're happy about this?"
"Yep."
"…Okay. Hey, where are the others?"
O'Shea shrugged. "Probably still stressing. Mr. Spock is dragging his decision out as long as possible, and Mr. Scott still has another dart board."
West rolled her eyes. "Well..."
"Hold that thought!" O'Shea cried as he pulled out his PADD. "Time to find out what we can't do anymore!"
581. *Dying Scotty's kilt pink is prohibited.
582. *Dying Mr. Spock's shirt pink is also prohibited.
583a. *Stop signing Mr. Scott up for Intergalactic Alcoholics Anonymous. Just because he drank an alien under a table once…
583b. ONCE! Mr. Scott begs to differ
583c. Please refer to Rule #77a.
584. Stop referring to Dr. McCoy as "MC Coy". He does not find it amusing in the least bit.
585. *Lt. Sulu and the rest of the botanical officers kindly request that you, and we quote, "STOP FEEDING THE CARNIVOROUS PLANTS CAFFEINE", end quote.
586. *The xeno-zoology department also requests that you stop feeding the Agiean fish (the really weird looking ones) caffeine.
587. Mr. Spock has just about had it with people feeding caffeine to the lab animals, and is about ready to ban caffeine from the Science department altogether. So the entire Science department requests that you please stop so they can have their coffee while on duty.
588. Do not plug electronic devices directly into the warp engines to "charge them faster". You will probably destroy the things before they are fully charged.
589. Stop calling the Security members on away teams lemmings.
590. Helm and Navigation personnel are no longer allowed to wear sunglasses while on duty.
591. Granted the Houyhnanns are equine in appearance, do not refer to them as "My Little Ponies".
592. Stop calling Dr. McCoy "Ratchet". He is a doctor, not a mechanic.
593. Stop calling Mr. Spock "Preceptor".
594. Would you please stop yelling "It's a trap!" every time a Klingon or hostile vessel shows up?
595. Stop calling Mr. Spock Bill Nye. He doesn't get it, even if you show him the intro music.
596. Stop making Scotty say "I'm a Russian submarine commander".
597. Chekov is not a "Russian submarine commander", as much as he wants to be.
598. *Do not pull the "nudge, nudge, wink, wink" routine on the Captain. He may tell you what you ask of him, and you will regret it.
599. *Do not run the aforementioned routine on Mr. Spock (even if Dr. McCoy, Mr. Scott, the Captain, or anybody else tries to bribe you to do it), as you will run the risk of getting nerve pinched.
600. When Chekov tells you something is invented in Russian, consult either a friend or the Computer before taking it for fact.
West shook her head. "I still can't get over the shenanigans this crew gets into."
"Well, there is more than one reason as to why this ship is so famous."
West and O'Shea looked up as Billings and Sorren sat down. O'Shea handed over his PADD.
Rules #581-583a are from Darkwood Princess, #585-586 are from Werepanther33, and #598-599 are from SetPhasers2Stun. Thank you all of those who have submitted ideas! I love you all for ever and a half! And I promise, everything will return to normal soon!
