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Chapter Twenty-Nine

I have to admit, coming back to Washington was something I was spectacle about doing at first. Once I was back in England, I felt safe but I didn't feel whole – I felt like there was always a part of me that was missing and I knew it was because I left it here, with my team…my friends.

I walked out of customs, yawning widely before it was interrupted because some idiot was in a rush and rolled over my foot. I cursed under my breath as I looked up and saw Reid standing there, looking all awkward with my name written on a sign, as if I needed reassuring that it was actually him. I grinned widely, squealing slightly in excitement as I ran up to him, jumping into his arms.

"Doc!"

He made a 'Ooft' sound when I landed, his arms immediately wrapping round me as I clung to him like a baby koala.

"I didn't expect this greeting." He spoke into my ear as I buried my face into his neck. "Are you going to let go…?"

"Just a little longer…" I let out a small chuckle as I squeezed him a little tighter before letting go. I stepped back, looking him up and down before my eyes landed on his shorter locks. "Your hair!"

He licked his lips, nervously playing with his hair before looking at me. "You don't like it?"

I rolled my eyes, reaching up to scrub my hand in it. "I love it, you look great."

"Oh, thank you." He smiled and looked at my bag. "Hey let me grab that, you look exhausted." He leaned down and grabbed my suitcase, my face straight as I shook my head. Still not great with the compliments.

"So how's everyone? You avoided speaking about work since I've been away."

Reid looked at me and fell silent, walking out the front and to the car. I watched him, my eyebrows raising as I awaited an answer.

"What…? Why have you gone all quiet?"

He opened the boot and placed my bag inside, rubbing the back of his neck a moment before closing it. "It's Hotch…"

I stopped moving to the passenger side and backed up, turning to look up at him.

"What about Hotch?" His face wasn't giving me much and now I started to feel worried.

"You've heard of The Boston Reaper?"

I crossed my arms, my lips pursing. "I've heard of him… Hotch worked on the case years ago right?"

He nodded before sliding his hands in his pockets. "Well George Foyet turned out to be the Unsub."

My jaw practically hit the floor! The guy who was stabbed numerous times by the so called 'Unsub' turned out to be the killer?! That's insane!

"What's that have to do with Hotch?"

He shuffled nervously on the spot and I glared at him. "Reid spit it out!"

"Well...Foyet stabbed Hotch and then later went on to kill his ex wife… He nearly killed Jack too."

I tried to open my mouth to speak but no words would escape, all this happened when I was gone and nobody thought to call me to tell me what happened.

"Where is he?"

"He's at the office, I don't th-…."

"Reid… I'm going to discuss the whole not telling me thing later but right now I want to see him."

Reid nodded in defeat and moved to get in the car and I jumped in beside him. "Are you mad at me?" He asked and I looked at him, shaking my head.

"Not mad, I just wish I was told sooner that's all."

Reid nodded and started the car, making our way back to the BAU.


I stepped out the lift, my hand reaching to pull the hair tie out my hair before quickly running my fingers through it.

"What are you doing?" Reid asked, looking down at me with a confused expression.

"I… I was making myself more presentable."

"Why?"

"Because a girl likes to look half decent sometimes." I walked forward and through the office, the team standing to greet me. "Hi everyone, two minutes okay?" I continued walking and briefly knocked on Hotch's door, walking in without him giving me permission to enter.

"Davis…?" Aaron Hotchner looked up at me, slight shadows under his eyes.

"I know you weren't expecting me until tomorrow but I've just heard about what happened…" I closed the door behind me, taking a few steps closer to his desk. "This is a stupid question but how are you…?"

He looked up at me for a brief moment before standing, coming round to the other side of his desk to sit on the edge. "I'm fine, I'm sorry you weren't told – I just didn't want to jeopardise your recovery."

"That whole sentence was bullshit and you know it."

"Excuse me?" He raised an eyebrow and I crossed my arms.

"You know I would've been here in a heartbeat if I was told, I know what kind of person you are Hotch…" I paused, taking another step closer to him. "You try and handle everything on your own, refusing to let anyone else in or let anyone else help you. I would've been here for you…" I sighed and he just kept his eyes on me.

"I don't need anyone worrying about me."

"Too late." I said bluntly, shaking my head and turning to step away from him. "Damn it Hotch! You should've told me! I've been thinking about you for months, wondering what's been going on because people kept me out the loop! Then I come back to find out you nearly died and you lost someone close to you?!" I clenched my fists, my back turned away from him. "I could've helped… I would've helped…"

I heard him stand behind me before a warm hand touched my shoulder to spin me round.

"Clara, I appreciate your concern…" He swallowed and took a breath. "And I know you would've dropped everything to be here but that's why I couldn't let you, I wasn't in the right frame of mind and neither were you." His hand remained on my shoulder as I looked up at him.

"I don't care what happens to me… I care about y-…" I stopped before I said anymore, stepping away from him. "You know what, your right…I'm actually really tired and far more sensitive because of it. I'm going to go back to my new apartment and relax…"

"Clara…"

"It's fine. Sorry I disturbed you." I bowed my head a moment before I opened the door and walked out, leaving him standing there alone.

"Red! It's good to see you." Morgan grinned at me and I continued to walk. "Red?..."

"You should've told me!" I yelled back, storming past Reid and grabbing the keys. "I'll bring the car back tomorrow."

"Clara." He tried to stop me but I brushed him aside.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

He nodded and let me continue walking and straight into the lift, turning back to explain to the team.

"I thought you told her!" I heard Morgan reply before the doors closed behind me.


Being back in my old apartment was too hard for me, the idea made my skin crawl so moving was the only real option for me. In all honesty, my new place is an upgrade – I've got a guest room now and my living and dining is all in one. Open plan living is a much bigger thing in America than in Britain, one of the many comparisons I have noticed since being here.

I unpacked all my things, shoving my clothes away in my draw when I came across the small stuffed bear I bought for Hotch's son, it was one of those ones you bought in London that wore the royal guards uniform and the big fluffy hat.

I looked down at it in my hands, slumping on the edge of the bed as the thoughts of what was going on in Hotch's mind whirled around in mine. He must have felt awful, I just wished I could've been here to support him – I feel like a fireman whose arrived after the buildings burned, watching the remains crumble before you even had a chance to save and protect it from harm.

I sat there for a moment longer, a deep sigh escaping me before I heard heavy knocking at my door, I checked my watch – wondering who could be here this late, I doubt it's a neighbour – I specifically chose this place because I was currently the only one on this floor. The door knocked again and I stood, walking out my bedroom and checking through peep hole.

"Hotch…?" I whispered before opening the door, seeing my boss… well I guess team mate would be more accurate, standing in front of me. "What are you doing here?"

He looked at the bear in my hands before his gaze drifted up and onto my face, my cheeks suddenly warming under his gaze.

"I think we should talk…"