Chapter 29
It took around twenty minutes for Nezumi to calm down. After the nurse had given them all the information about Shion's surgery that she could, the whole corridor had filled with silence. Nezumi had slouched into the bench, completely quiet and Karan didn't have the heart to ask him more about the events inside the Moondrop. The long-haired boy hadn't moved from his spot during these next minutes, holding the plastic bag with Shion's belongings and raising his head only when nurse came again with a new information.
That state of tranquility lasted only an hour longer. The surgery wing changed into chaos when the next wave of victims, this time including several members of committee, arrived at the hospital.
Beside Shion, only five survivors had left the conference room and each one of them was in critical state. The wheeled stretchers rolled one after another into the surgery area with crowd of a medical staff around them. Even the smallest glimpse of the wounded committee members caused Karan to feel sick. Nezumi was in awful state aswell, physically and mentally, he didn't know how Shion looked after the attack, but the arrived victims appeared like they had been drawn out of the nightmare.
If Karan had stood in that moment she would probably have collapsed on her knees from terror. She watched her son's co-workers passing beside her one after another until they were hid behind the doors leading to the surgery rooms. Karan turned her face towards Nezumi, waiting for any comment about arrived victims, but the boy acted like this whole chaos didn't exist, his own eyes unfocused and glassy.
After two hours of waiting, new waves of injured civilians stopped coming and most of the hospital personnel was occupied inside the surgery rooms. During that time, Karan started to wonder if she should call Rikiga. She wanted ask the older man to get Nezumi home so the silver-eyed boy could clean and change.
When he arrived at the hospital, Rikiga first split from them her in order to find other, less harmed victims of the attack. Karan didn't feel good around the older man's excitement about an article he apparently wanted to write about this terrifying day. She understood that the middle-aged man earned his living this way. Regardless, she politely asked the man to not include Shion or Nezumi in his article.
Rikiga seemed very disappointed, however he agreed with her request before they parted ways. Karan trusted, or rather hoped, that Rikiga would keep his word. Maybe the gratitude towards Shion would win against his journalist nature.
Probably Rikiga wouldn't mind helping them a little more. The man loved Shion's reign and what her son had done for people from the West Block. However, Karan was almost sure that Nezumi wouldn't agree to leave her and Shion alone in the hospital. She knew the other boy's answer, yet, she couldn't stop herself from being worried about her son's husband. She wasn't fully sure if he didn't hide other injuries beside his clearly wounded leg.
The silver eyed boy had so much blood on his clothes and body that it was clear he would be dead if every drop of red fluid had come from his own veins. Karan was simply too afraid to ask who's blood it was. The idea that Nezumi might have her son's blood on him was drawing her into new waves of despair and madness.
And so she and Nezumi waited in silence. And every minute of that wait was a torture. Karan repeated to herself in her mind that there was no other future for Shion but to survive. NO.6 possessed amazing medical knowledge, great doctors and this whole day was going to end happily. There was no other possibility for her to accept.
Minutes passed and two committee members were pushed back on stretchers from the surgery rooms, yet Shion wasn't one of them. Karan recognized one of them. It was man who took care of the security department, but she didn't remember his name.
When a third stretcher rode into corridor Karan's heart almost stopped beating inside her chest. The unknown body was covered with fabric and it was clear that this person hadn't survived their surgery. Nezumi's face lost all of its color under the many layers of dirt. The nurse pushed the corpse forward to hospital's elevator without stopping beside them. Karan watched this whole scene, telling herself that it couldn't be Shion. The person who was under white cover wasn't her little child.
The nurse would have said something to them if it was Shion, right? Or maybe passing information about deaths was someone's else job? She had never paid that much attention to the hospital's standards and rules. It didn't take long for a worn out medical team to get into corridor. One of them, some female doctor left her co-workers, getting closer to Karan.
The brown haired woman started to tremble in panic. If she was the one that was supposed to tell her bad news? No, this couldn't be Shion. Not her child.
„The other team asked me to tell you that Mr. President's surgery will take at least two or three hours from now on."
Karan was just about breaking into tears. She sighed with relief and her lungs finally took a normal breath for the first time since the stretcher with a dead body had rode into corridor.
„Thank you." Karan answered to the other woman.
„Maybe I could guide you to hospital cafeteria? Therapists are already helping the other patients' families there. Someone from our staff is going to inform you where to go after Mr. President's surgery ends. Or maybe you need some medical help?" The female doctor moved her worried eyes at Nezumi who just shook his head and continued to look at the floor.
„No, thank you, we rather stay here. But, Nezumi, it will still take at least two hours, maybe you should use this time to check your leg?" She asked the silver eyed man before voicing another question towards female doctor. „Is there some treatment room nearby, where my son Nezumi could be called if something change in Shion's situation?"
„Well, there is cabinet on this floor where I could check his wound."
Karan nodded and placed her hand above Nezumi's, which were still clenched around the plastic bag.
„Nezumi, you can't help Shion in this way. Come on. Let a doctor see you and maybe... Miss, could Nezumi use the hospital bathroom to wash himself?"
The female doctor nodded so Karan continued with his best warm voice. „I will keep you informed. Nezumi...you can trust me with this... It's alright for you to to get some care too. Shion is going to be very weak after surgery. Such dirt and bacteria may be harmful for him."
„He didn't left me. He dragged me out Correctional Facility into the hospital and never left my side. He was always there." The boy answered her with a flat, tired voice.
„I know, and you have done the same. Don't worry, we will be with him when he leaves the surgery room and when he wakes up. Because he's going to wake up. He's in good hands. Believe in him."
Nezumi finally nodded, yet he looked like her words had rather led him to give up on the incoming future instead filling him with hope. Nezumi rosed from the bench, letting Karan take plastic bag from his hands and he followed the female from medical staff. Karan watched the boy carefully until he had disappeared behind the corner. Just then did she let her shaking hands raise towards her mouth, muffing a cry.
„Shion is going to be alright. Shion is going to be alright." She thought over and over like small prayer. She had to believe. Because if she wouldn't, then who will?
A droplet of water fell from his hair into the intern's shirt. Nezumi hadn't paid much attention to drying them well after the quick shower inside the hospital's bathroom. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he had gotten all the blood out of the black stands. The doctor which Karan had talked to, had given him some spare intern clothes and small badge with a single word 'guest'. Now, the middle-aged woman was sewing his wounded leg. The silver needle danced across his skin but Nezumi didn't really care about his state. His mind rounded around one question only 'Why am I not waiting in front of the surgery room?'.
Sure, Karan's words were reasonable. And the answer was simple, part of his mind was simply afraid. That's why he hadn't fought more in order to stay beside surgery area. He couldn't shake away the fear and thoughts that the next person who leaves surgery room covered with white material would be Shion. He didn't think he would be able to see that happening.
„Here. You need to show up into clinic in order to take out the stitches in two weeks from now."
Nezumi didn't have any strength to tell woman that usually he takes care on such matters himself.
„Thank you" He said, quietly rising from the hospital couch. Some part of him didn't want to return back into that corridor. Yet, he couldn't fail Shion and Karan this way. He wouldn't be able to live with himself after acting like some kind of coward. Nezumi really wanted to believe in Karan's words. He really did, but the world had already taken so much away from him. It wouldn't be surprising if it decided to take Shion away from him, too.
There was emptiness creeping into his heart. Well, it was better than soul-breaking pain he felt around hour ago. Or maybe it was two hours ago? Nezumi no longer knew how long Shion had been having surgery. Heading back towards his and Karan's waiting bench, Nezumi heard nervous conversation.
„... He needs to be interrogated. He has got a high level passing card and he said that Mr. President gave it to him. No civilian, a baker even, if the database is right, should have such access."
„Since you know so much, you also had to know that Nezumi lives with me and Shion. He's my second son."
„Yes, I heard you call him like that, but there is no document inside our databases that proves adoption, his record follows last June and before that he wasn't living inside NO.6."
„What are you trying to say, Tori?"
„This man may use you both to destroy the Committee. Maybe he already used his access to create the plan for today's assault."
Nezumi tried to walk faster in order to punch that damn guy who bothered Karan. The amount of anger towards the newcomer was rather irrational and unjustified, considering the weight of the man's assumptions. Nezumi had never cared what people talked about him behind his back. He had heard worse words against him, which had never made him this angry. However this time, irritation boiled inside him, irritation that had grown during those last hours, and Shion's co-worker was an easy target to let such emotion find an outlet.
It was so easy and so hard at the same time. Nezumi's leg was still limp from anesthetics so he dragged himself with a snail speed towards the place of conversation. Still, he paused when Karan's voice rang once more. Her tone was dark, almost angry and very unusual to the one that Nezumi knew.
„Tori... Nezumi is part of our lives, a part of our family since my son was sixteen, and even before that for Shion. There is no other man who my son trusts more. I want you to hold yourself back with such assumptions when Shion or Nezumi are around. My son wouldn't be pleased that you badmouth the person who saved his life countless times just like today. Not mention that Nezumi has gone through enough hardships from this city's hands. You are familiar with the end of the Forest People, right? And the boy who asked Elyurias to give the city another chance despite that NO.6 took everything form him?"
„You telling me that he's that one?"
„Yes, but none of us wants to make it well known. Nezumi had left the city that day five years ago and he returned only because of Shion's request. We want a peaceful live, away from what happened in the past, but this day and your demands, Mr. Tori, doesn't help. Shion told me that you are a good man, faithful to your work and rebuilding the city. Please don't let his good words about you go waste by hurting someone who is very dear to him."
He really hadn't wanted to have a big entrance but Nezumi dragged himself into the vision of the two arguing people just after Karan had ended her speech. Tori turned around after hearing approaching steeps and his eyes focused on Nezumi for a good while. Yet, to everyone's surprise, the man made no move in order to question Nezumi as he had demanded before.
The member of the Restructual Committee looked over the silver-eyed man like this was their first meeting.
„Mr. Tori..." Karan repeated the man's name quietly and not very pleased. The other man cleared his throat instantly and started to speak.
„If... Since the situation looks like this... Well, I don't think you or Mr. President are in danger, so I shall go check how the others who were rescued are feeling."
„Please, do so." Karan said calmly, ending the conversation.
There was nothing left to add. Tori nodded to both of them, whispering excuses and walked away from surgery wing. Before Nezumi found a second to rethink this whole strange situation, Karan fell on the bench hiding face into hands and breaking into cry.
„I'm sorry, It's just too much."
Nezumi sat down beside her putting a reassuring hand on her shaking shoulder. He could do at least this much for her in gratitude for her fight with Shion's co-worker. She didn't need to do this. He never asked her to protect him. He could do this on his own. Why did she, just like Shion, thought that he needed to be sheltered from any nuisances?
Shion...
The tense situation between Karan and Tori had gotten Nezumi distracted enough to forget what was happening to Shion for a moment.
The long-haired man once more felt his heart was breaking apart. He wanted to selfishly ask the crying woman if Shion was still having his surgery. She would have told him if Shion had died, right? No. This wasn't an option. She wouldn't stay inside this area if that was a case.
„I'm sorry..." Karan whispered again, struggling to calm down.
„It's alright." He couldn't say anything else. Not after he broke down before her eyes not so long ago. He was sick on being a hypocrite.
And so, both of them waited just like before. The minutes passed. Nezumi inspected the plastic bag that laid on the bench beside them. The watch he had given Shion worked like nothing had happened.
Looking at that birthday gift, Nezumi noticed that it had been five hours since the white haired man had been taken into the surgery room.
„Nezumi... If something ever happens to me... and Shion would be in danger... Please, both of you, leave this city for somewhere safe..." Karan said, softly breaking the silence after she had finally stopped sobbing.
Maybe she should have asked for this earlier. Maybe it was wrong for them to stay in NO.6. Fuck, he felt like he should actually do something now, anything after Shion was targeted during that Spring Festival. Nezumi tried to forge feelings of loneliness, afraid and helpless into something that would let him act. Why was he so stupid? Why had he averted his eyes like this? Instead of feeling better or find answer that could help this situation, Nezumi obtained nothing more but tears gathering in his eyes. There was no help in realizing those mistakes now. It wouldn't change the past.
'Damn it, Fuck it all!' He repeated curses inside his mind over and over.
Nezumi thought he would get mad because of all this waiting and the impossibility to do something, but then the doors beside them opened once more. Six people, some equipment and a stretcher entered the corridor. Nezumi and Karan raised into their feet after they caught glimpses of Shion's features. The dark-haired male pushed forward, ignoring the annoyed and tired looks of the doctors.
Shion looked pale, very pale, even his lips were strangely white. His pink scar was the only warm color on his face. Part of his forehead was wrapped in bandages, just like his entire right arm. Those surely weren't the only places which had been secured by the doctors. More bandages must have been hidden under the white cover that hid Shion's body.
The older man, which Nezumi met after arriving in this part of hospital leaned closer to him and Karan.
"He's going to sleep for at least two more hours. Let's not block this corridor, I will inform you more about Mr. President's condition in his room."
Karan nodded through tears of happiness and the other people from the medical team pushed Shion's stretcher towards the elevator. Nezumi and his mother-in-law followed right after them. During this brief moment, before they entered the elevator, Karan touched Nezumi's hand with her warm fingers.
"It's alright, it's going to be alright." She whispered to him happily.
Nezumi couldn't bring himself to answer. Was it really over? Would really nothing go wrong again? Shion was there, breathing and living but Nezumi felt sick. This was simply too much for him, too.
The plastic bag with Shion's belongings was still in his hand. His husband was still asleep. What if he wouldn't open his eyes? What if something went wrong during surgery and he stayed like this? Nezumi knew it was possible from Shion's endless talks about medicine and other medical shit.
They went into a small but cozy room. Well, being President of a city had it's damn advantages. Too bad that they had to pay for them like this. Some people who had worked on Shion surgery left, leaving white haired boy on a clean and nice hospital bed with all kinds of drips, VRs and monitoring machines connected to his body. Transparent medications and blood were still slowly flowing into Shion's veins.
"He crashed once more during the operation, but now his state is stable. He should wake up in an hour or two, we didn't want to put more stress on his body by waking him faster through medicine. We gave him analgesics but he still might feel some pain once he wakes up. His leg muscles were heavy damaged. The tissue in his leg was simply cut out. Miss Karan, you are baker, right? Then imagine it like this: It's like the metallic bar was a cutter and his leg was a dough."
Karan's face became pale at such parallel and Nezumi's stomach almost wanted to run away through this throat. Yet, the doctor continued his explanation.
"This may sound bad but leg isn't the worst problem we had to deal with. It will regenerate and the tissue that was cut away wasn't large. Our treatment should help him recover fully. It was bad but his arm was even more damaged. We spend almost four hours on taking glass shards out from his tissue. I have never dealt with something like this before, even after pretty bad accidents. We are going to apply the same treatment to his arm as we going to apply to his leg, but... The nervous system is what we are worried about the most right now."
"Will- will Shion be able to move his arm?" Karan asked with a shaky voice. This man had already told them that Shion's arm was in pretty bad shape, but Nezumi and Karan had hoped for another, more hopeful diagnosis after surgery.
"He might, but his fingers and hand... We can't tell right now, but let's hope that treatment and rehabilitation will help him and he will be able to get back to the live and dexterity he had before."
Nezumi clenched his shaking fists. Shion wasn't weak like this. The Shion he knew was going to be alright just like when Nezumi cut away the parasitic wasp. If Shion survived that, then he was going to take over the world again. There was no other way.
Nezumi made his way towards Shion's bed. All he wanted was to simply touch his husband and for Shion to open his eyes and tell him that all of this is nothing compares to what they had gone through in the past.
Karan still talked with the doctor when Nezumi laid his fingers on Shion's skin. His silver eyes once more stung painfully after he felt warmness under his hand. It wasn't Shion's usual warmness but still, the other man wasn't cold. Ignoring the world around him with all drips connected to Shion, machines, nurses and doctors that came and go inside the room Nezumi leaned for some study-looking chairs and put it beside Shion's bed. He sat down on one of them, leaving the other one for Karan before he took Shion's left hand into his. Such small a thing shouldn't reveal their relationship and if someone asked or started talking he could always say that he worried about his dear childhood friend. Holding Shion's hand was the only thing he could do beside waiting for his husband to wake up.
And he hated every second of this interludium.
Pain. Falling down. The voices.
„I think he's waking up. Shion, Shion!"
Hurts. This voice was too loud, even if belonged to someone he loved. Shion tried to open his eyes but he couldn't. His mind was falling back into nothing.
„Maybe we should call doctor?" His mother talked once more. He tried to open his mouth, but only a groan left his lips. He was falling away, this time he couldn't hear anything more beside some distant noises. Soon everything faded into silence.
Maybe it was only minutes later, or it was right away, when he once more heard the soft voice of his mother and Nezumi's. Again he tried to open his eyes.
„Mmm... N..." He wanted to call for his beloved.
„Shh... It's alright. Take your time, sweetheart."
Everything was distant. Somehow he managed to open his eyes just to close them again when light blinded him.
He felt confused. Where was he? Why did his body hurt?
Time passed, voice of his mother and his name from Nezumi's helped him to not fall into the black pit anew. At least he thought so. When he raised his heavy eyelids once more, the room was darker than before. There were two blurry points that slightly lighted the room he was in. The outlines of room didn't make sense. This wasn't his home. He tried to make his eyes focus but the world around stayed fuzzy.
The white light flashed straight into his eye, then another while something held his eyelids open, preventing him from closing them.
„His brain functions seem alright..." An unknown voice said, leaning above him. Shion's body tried to get away from unfamiliar figure after his eyes began to once more see shapes after being blinded by light.
Someone must have noticed that he was afraid because warm hand started to stroke his hair.
„Hello, your sleepy prince."
He knew this voice. Shion tried to move his head towards it. Outlines of that person weren't even close to being sharp, but he could recognize Nezumi's voice.
„Nez..." He whispered. Shion wanted to ask where he was, but his tongue felt so heavy. At least he could see a little better. He noticed his mother was loudly crying and she was holding his hand, but he couldn't feel her touch.
Well, now his mind mostly focused on sharp and unstoppable pain in his arm and leg. His chest was heavy too. He didn't remember being hurt there. Or maybe he was? He couldn't remember.
„Hurts..." He moaned weakly. Soon after his words two or maybe three people unknown to him started to run around his bed. His throat was so dry that after few breaths it wasn't a surprise that he started to cough painfully and he couldn't stop. It wasn't easy to miss that his face hurt too.
Breathless, Shion prepared himself for next wave of cough when small straw was inserted into his lips giving him at beginning only few drops of water before letting him drink more after it was safe. This water was heaven.
Within the following minutes, the pain he felt lowered down and his eyes gained more focus. He slowly began to understand that he was in hospital and all memories behind the reason of being in such place returned to him. Panic and fear squeezed his chest, almost suffocating him.
„Shion, is alright, you are safe, darling." His mother said. Shion wanted to reach towards her but his hand wouldn't move. Why couldn't he move his left hand?
„Shion, you are in hospital. I got you out Moondrop. It's alright." Nezumi whispered, his voice breaking.
He tried to calm down but everything was like a dream. He couldn't wake up fully, his body didn't work like he wanted and he was getting cold.
Could someone hold him and take away this cold?
His eyes searched for Nezumi. The man leaned towards him and warm hand once again touched Shion's hair. The other man's face was swollen, puffy. The eyes too... He cried. His mother too. They must have cried a lot to look like this. Was he the reason? Probably yes, but his mind couldn't focus enough to see the whole picture of the current situation.
„Sorr..y..." He gasped.
„Don't." Nezumi answered and bit his lower lip.
„Yes, don't worry about it." His mom leaned to kiss his cheek.
„Can...I sleep?" the whisper left his mouth and his family turned around towards someone else who was in other part of room.
„Yes, he can rest a little more. We gave him some sedatives anyway."
Like on command Shion closed his eyes. Darkness embraced him almost right away.
His second time waking up was a lot better. The world around him wasn't so blurred and unstable even if the room he was in was almost dark. There was a lamp hanging on the wall beside some sitting figure but it's light was weak, unable to fully shake away the darkness around him. Shion tried to move on the bed, yet his body still acted like melted wax. Not mention he was feeling even more cold than before. His knowledge told him that it was normal, he should feel cold like this. It was his body reaction to surgery. He probably had fever too. His head must have been undamaged if he was able to recall and connect such facts. Yes, he still felt dizzy, weak and out of place, but his mind started to get more and more aware of where he was and why.
Shion looked over his legs. The metallic bar had disappeared.
„Hey, hey. Don't move so much, you will hurt yourself." The sitting figure raised closer to his face.
„Nezumi?" He asked, his voice was a little more firm.
„Yeah, it's me. And you can go back to sleep, it's the middle of night."
„Mom?"
„She's asleep on the guest couch there. She didn't want to leave you either." Nezumi moved his hand towards the other side of room as he tried to smile but his lips only sadly rose up, just to fall moments later.
„Thank you." Shion whispered back. He had to thank his mother later, too. He hoped she was not going to run the bakery tomorrow after staying with him like this.
Nezumi held his hand, at least this time Shion could felt it. This was good feeling. It looked like his nervous system wasn't in a critical shape. His right hand was all in bandages. When he tried to move it a sharp pain shot through his body making him release small cry.
„I told you to not move."
"My arm... and my leg?" Shion asked, now afraid. He tried to move his wounded leg but he wasn't so sure if it worked. The darkness inside room and the white cover over his body didn't help him in seeing and measuring damage.
„They are going to be alright. Give them some time." Nezumi said with a strange voice, Shion wasn't sure if the other man told him the truth. He should get angry at his husband for not telling him whole truth, but he was too weak to fight. Besides, Nezumi looked like ghost. The silver eyes were filled with sadness and fear. It had been a long time since Shion had seen the other man wounded like this. His mind recalled Nezumi's face, drowning in tears when Shion woke up for a moment inside conference room. It made him feel a lot worse than his own inability to move his arm and leg.
It was because of him. Nezumi was afraid because he almost lost Shion. Because of Shion's promises the silver eyed boy opened his heart, let himself love and in the end, he was hurt again.
The crimson eyed man had promised himself to never let Nezumi cry from sadness, and he had apparently failed. This fact broke Shion's own heart.
„Nezumi, can you move those drips on right side of bed?"
The long haired male eyed him surprised not moving from his spot.
„Please?" Shion added, feeling more and more cold. His body trembled from this creeping cold.
Instead on his poor state and pain he rather focused on one thought; that he wanted to comfort Nezumi. It was his obligation.
He and only he was the reason behind other boy's tears. He wanted to hold Nezumi and apologize to him for that.
Or maybe it wasn't the only motive why he wanted for other man to get closer. Shion simply and selfishy hoped for cold that shook his body to disappear into other man's embrace. To find some consolation for himself too.
Nezumi moved to do what Shion asked for and he quietly, without waking Karan, relocated the stands with drips above the bed. After that Shion forced himself to move towards the right side of hospital's bed. Such struggle shot waves of pain through his body, pushing tears into his eyes.
„Shion! Fuck! What are you doing! You will make wounds open!" Nezumi hissed angrily, trying not to be too loud, but Shion stopped only after he had made enough empty space on the bed. Such a small thing like moving left his whole body shivering from pain and cold. It took Shion some time before he was even able to say anything.
„Nezumi, can you lay with me?"
„You damn idiot." Nezumi whispered after a moment, sounding stunned and pained.
„Please, I'm cold." Shion said without a hint of lie in his voice. The shivers ran down his body and was feeling worse than after he had woken up.
Nezumi took a sharp breath and his legs made few steps away from Shion's bed.
Shion boy was about to whimper sadly because of loneliness and sorrow that other man's rejection caused. However, the younger man quickly understood his mistake by thinking the other man walked away refusing his request. Nezumi leaned back above him putting on a hospital cover and another layer of material, probably a blanket. Soon a warm body appeared on Shion's right side, making bed creak a little.
„Better?" Nezumi asked, carefully setting himself carefully beside Shion without hurting his body more.
„Yeah. Better. Thanks." He whispered with a voice full of emotion. He leaned his face closer towards his husband's chest. Nezumi didn't hold him very close, one of other man's arm sneaked under his neck, the other was placed on his chest but it was enough to make him feel slightly better.
Physical pain was still there of course. It was strange how easily another person's warmth could win over some mental problems. Not like it could replace medicine, but in Shion's case it surely made him feel less broken.
None of them said anything. It wasn't long before Shion's mind started to recall every moment of that day. The images of bodies laying lifeless beside him. The memories of dust's smell and blood which hit his nose like they were real again.
„Did... Did someone survived besides me?" He couldn't hold back the question. Memories of the conference room and his co-workers hadn't left his head even if he tried his best to focus on Nezumi's warmth. His own cries, the sight of blood and the pain he felt back then, returned to him with full strength. He could see Nezumi's tears and hear his broken, frightened voice.
There was no running away from those memories. He couldn't avert his eyes and act as if nothing of this took place. This was reality. How many people had lost their lives that day?
„You should worry about yourself right now. It's not important what happen to others." The other male answered after a moment.
„You know that I can't. Nezumi... I need to know." He pleaded the other man who shifted on bed nervously.
„I think four people from conference room were taken to surgery room. I heard from some doctors that there were people who were rescued from your office, too."
„I see. I'm glad. Thank you." Shion's eyes burned at Nezumi's information, but he held his tears back. He didn't deserve them.
Only four survivors from the conference room...
He had let it happen again.
NO.6 had changed into hell once more, people had died, Nezumi and his mom had cried from sorrow. He hadn't prevented that despite of all his promises.
„I'm sorry Nezumi. I made you cry. And mom, too. I'm so sorry." Shion apologized with a creaking whisper.
For a moment Nezumi thought that Shion would blame him for not saving someone else. He knew that the other man was close with his coworkers. A replay from Safu's death wouldn't be surprising. It would hurt Nezumi deeply, but he somehow was prepared for it. His heart felt lighter when Shion thanked him. This was such relief.
Nezumi's own emotions shocked him. He could guess that Shion would worry more about him or his stupid co-workers than himself, but when he heard verification of his assumption something inside him broke down again.
This damn idiot! He had made his eyes burn again. It would be normal for Shion to change after what happen to him and to start distrust others. Damn, maybe some of his co-workers were even involved in this whole attack!
Yet, he stayed the same. Shion still deeply cared about other people. Nezumi always wished for Shion to stay the same and his wish was granted this time. This simple fact was heavy for Nezumi's chest and tears pushed down on his face one more.
This was just so like Shion. Like a living Shion. His Shion.
„I told you already, worrying about others will crash you." He whispered the sentence he had used so often in past. Something he believed once. Like it could cover the fact that he was crying.
„Don't worry. I'm thinking about myself. I'm warmer with you like this, Nezumi." The white haired man answered. His more healthy hand touched Nezumi's check. It didn't help the older male to calm down. His shoulders shook quietly as he muffled his sobs into Shion's white hair. He needed the other man more than anything. His closeness, voice and touch.
Shion was in an awful condition, yet he was once again stronger than him. Damn, Shion was trying to comfort him by asking them to lay together because he noticed Nezumi's vulnerable sate. It was the other man who needed comfort and care. Whoever had right to cry and be weak like this, it was not Nezumi.
This was wrong. Simply wrong. Shion's life had almost been taken away... What was he doing while Shion was on the front line of this city's fight? He was slacking, taking all that Shion and Karan offered.
This time he couldn't help but to think that Shion and his mother weren't the wrong ones by creating some sort of heaven for him. That they were idiots by offering him so much of themselves.
Nezumi felt bad to ever think about this whole year and kindness in this way. No, he was the wrong one for accepting it without adding something more to it from himself. He knew he couldn't let himself rely on them in future like he had until this day. This had to change. He was not going to stay the coward who hid behind those two.
He had even let Karan protect him today. There wasn't possibly a way to fall any lower than this. Nezumi let someone he considered as his mother shelter him. He let Shion's mother protect him from another man's attack. He should have been one who protected her. Not mention that he should equally take care of Shion.
This whole day would never have happened if he wasn't such a damn pathetic excuse of a human who let other people defend him without sheltering them back. It was too late to not care. To cut his attachments. He didn't even want to do it. That left only one option for him which would let him regain some of his pride and would never let a day like today happen ever again..w
Shion could only feel Nezumi crying, since the other man kept his face above his head. He wasn't sure which wave of sadness was longer, the one inside Correctional Facility or this one. Yet, after a long time, the trembling of the other boy's shoulders stopped and the room filled with soft breaths of Nezumi and his mother's sleeping.
Just then and only then Shion let himself to break into his own cry. His face also started to hurt and he could recall why. Every moment of what happen inside conference room was clear like it had happened minute ago. The cold eyes of man who tortured him. His face being kicked... did that man break his skull's bones? Shion wouldn't be surprised if they were. At least his state must have been stable if doctors left him alone like this with his family. Shion tried to recall if his chest was damaged too because it also hurt him pretty bad. Shion tried with all his might but he couldn't find the answer. He surely had the super fiber shirt to protect his body there.
The pain in his face, leg and arm was easy to explain in a rational way. He stopped to try moving wounded parts of his body, or at least he tried. Any, even the slightest motion was causing him more suffering. He couldn't do anything about it. Shion knew he had to wait for the morning visit of his doctor to get more information about his state.
His body shook with small wheeze as more tears left his eyes. His mind was filled with fear. For the first time in his life he felt completely powerless. He couldn't do anything to protect and save himself. If not Nezumi he would be dead right now. Not mention that he survived while the others he knew and worked with didn't. So many people died and he hadn't prevented that from happening.
The five years of his hard work hadn't been enough to protect the inhabitants of NO.6.
Shion tried to calm down and not let the himself cry any louder. Waking up Nezumi was the last thing he wanted in that moment. Because... how could he look into this silver eyes? Into other people's eyes? To talk with families of those who died that day? He, who had failed to make this city safe, to protect its civilians.
So many of his co-workers had lost their lives. Nezumi didn't know them but Shion did. He talked, fought, laughed and tried his best with them. Shion even remembered what some of them liked or disliked and he could recall small, simple conversations about their families, problems and dreams. Now those people were gone, leaving irreplaceable holes in the lives of those who survived.
Shion still had no way of knowing how many died inside the others parts of Moondrop during attack. He blamed himself for their deaths. He was the President of the city. It was his job to keep them away from harm.
„You are a failure and now you cry like baby. Shame on you. Nezumi should be disgusted with a person like you." The voice in his head whispered and Shion couldn't deny that his mind was right. He had already broke most of the promises which he had given. Nezumi cried because of him, he was afraid and all that happen despite Shion vowed him a protection from such feelings. The only promise he managed to keep was not dying before his husband but this also wasn't his merit.
This time Shion couldn't stop his breath from shaking with broken sobs. His chest grew tight as his heart clenched. The crying and trembling of his body added even more pain to those already hurting parts of his body.
How could he repair all of this again? Was he even able to fix NO.6? Maybe his tries had been a failure from the beginning?
Nezumi didn't know when he had fallen asleep. The skin on his face was strangely dry on his cheeks and something trembled in his arms. It took him moment to realize where he was. Then he noticed that Shion cried. Nezumi quickly leaned up on his elbow for a better view. It was clear that Shion tried to calm down and turn away his face from Nezumi as soon as the older male woke up.
„Fuck." Nezumi said maybe a little too loud.
He let himself to be selfish once more and he left Shion alone with all he went through today. Part of him was glad for Shion reacting like this. Not breaking down would be unusual and emotionless. Those red eyes always filled Nezumi with fear.
However, Nezumi cursed at himself for not predicting that Shion could cry once no one would watch him. The older male looked down on shaking and heavily breathing Shion. The other man covered his face with the healthy arm and his tears were rolling from his cheek into the hospital pillow.
Such view wrenched Nezumi's heart. If he really wanted to make change, he had to act right now. To give Shion support even if he himself needed some right now. While searching for a good way to hold the other male without hurting him Nezumi wanted to let a few more curses to fly from his mouth. Taking Shion into his arms wasn't even the most problematic matter. Nezumi just didn't know what to say. Simple 'it's alright' was a lie that he couldn't voice to Shion.
"What's wrong?" Wasn't good either, but still better than promises of bright future. Shion tensed in his arms and Nezumi worried if he hadn't hurt Shion's leg or his other wounds.
His husband didn't answer him right away. Nezumi heard rough, quiet words from the other's mouth only after tears stopped falling from his red eyes.
"Everything hurts." Shion said.
Nezumi nodded. He guessed that his husband wasn't telling him everything behind such outburst but this was good enough. At least Shion didn't try to play hero. Fuck, Nezumi remembered how much his wounds from Correctional Facility hurt after all analgesic stopped working. He didn't want to complain to Shion back then, he tried his best to act tough until his body healed and he left NO.6.
"I will call a nurse, to give you more painkillers, okay? Would it be alright?" He asked as gently as he could while holding the other male.
Running away from this room would have felt good in past, well maybe part of him wanted to do so even right now. And yet, in this moment, Nezumi wasn't feeling right with leaving Shion. The younger boy was still shaking under his blanket and hospital cover. His swollen face looked awful and Nezumi supposed it pained his husband too.
"You don't have to." Shion started when Nezumi began to lean away from bed.
"Yeah, I know you have a thing for pain. And you enjoyed it just a moment ago that you cried from happiness." Nezumi huffed sarcastically with a hint of anger. He quickly bit his lip. It wasn't his intention to make Shion feel worse.
"I'm sorry." Nezumi said. He leaned to stroke Shion's hair, but such gesture didn't prevent other male from drowning in sorrow. Nezumi had retreated his hand not sure what else he could do so he focused on finding some painkillers for Shion and return as fast as possible.
"Nazumi?" Karan asked with sleepy voice when ray of light from hospital's corridor fell on her face.
"M... Karan, you can go back to sleep."
"Something is wrong?"
"Shion doesn't feel good. I'm going to call nurse so she could give him more painkillers."
On those words woman quickly raised from the couch and went towards Shion who tried to hide his face so she could see that he cried just moments ago.
"Sweetie. It's alright. Do you need drink?"
"No, mom. You can go back to sleep."
"Are you sure? You know you doesn't need to hold back. There is nothing wrong in asking for medication or anything else." Somehow Karan didn't give up. She once let Shion reject her help, but now it seemed that the woman had decided to be more assertive towards her son. Well, it surely help that Shion couldn't run away from her or Nezumi.
"Maybe, a little water..." Shion finally said with hint of shame. Nezumi didn't have any strength left to get angry at the other man. Being able to survive on your own without asking others for help when it was unnecessary didn't mean to reject all offered help when it's truly needed. Nezumi would be already dead if he hadn't accepted Shion's help in the past.
God, why was the other man was so stubbornly selfless during the worst possible moments? Nezumi tried to teach him different. It looked like he needed to work more on this matter when Shion would feel better.
After Karan helped her son to get some water, Nezumi was sure that the woman would be able to handle the situation during his absence and he left the room in order to search for a nurse. Yet, after few steeps through hospital's floor he found something very unusual. Behind hospital's window, on the building's park, a large crowd had apparently gathered. People held some candles and flowers, some of them were clearly praying. It was the middle of night but the civilians of No.6 had decided to give their support to the victims of that day's attack.
Nezumi had mixed feelings about all of this. He had cared about Shion and Karan right now more than anyone during his whole life but he didn't change much his opinion about humanity. Today's cursed day also didn't help his judgment. Even things he learned during his travels were dimmed in that moment. Nezumi huffed annoyedly at people standing before hospital.
Humans were giving their support as long as you belong to their group and it was so easy for people to rise their hands against something they didn't like. Not like he wasn't like this himself. He would get rid of everything that brought danger and broke his or his family's peace.
He didn't think about himself as someone better than others, probably he was closer to the ones who attacked Moondrop than anyone thought. At least those who gathered before hospital were praying for those who where still fighting for their lives and they tried to do something good. Not like their standing at night or their ridiculous candles could really help but... But maybe he should tell Shion about this. Maybe this would help his husband getting better, at least mentally. Nezumi knew that Shion wasn't crying only from physical pain. The other people's actions had more impact on other boy's feelings than anything else. At least that was what Nezumi thought.
"Fuck it all." He murmured under his nose and went back to his task of searching for nurse. It pissed him off. His own lack of action made him angry. Not like he wanted to light a damn candle and stand with crowd. But at least those people decided to do something, anything... Nezumi had to do something. He already knew what he needed to do. It was something that agreed with his past persona. Vacation time was over. Hiding behind Shion's back was over. Just as Inukashi had said, if you found someone you wanted to protect, you better did so or you would lose them. Nezumi wasn't super human, but he could help Shion in his own way.
The rest of night passed without mayor problems. Shion fell asleep exhausted after he got more painkillers. Karan proposed to Nezumi to switch their places but the long-haired man declined.
Taking a nap against wall while sitting on chair it was enough. He couldn't kill his own pride even more by letting his mother-in-law give him a better place to sleep. Laying on Shion's bed was not an option too. Nezumi had let himself give in to Shion's request before, but maybe it would be better if they tried to not add information about their relationship to today's disaster. Comforting gestures of family members like holding a hand or stroking hair wasn't as flashy as sleeping together by a long shot. They already were lucky that no one walked in while they had held each other in a not very brotherly way.
Beside, even this not very comfortable chair was enough. Nezumi couldn't even open his eyelids after he closed them, he was that exhausted.
The morning was already ending when someone shook his shoulder gently.
"Nezumi, wake up."
The long haired male almost slide away from the wall onto the floor after Karan called him. He looked kind of confused at his mother-in-law while trying to massage away the pain in his neck.
"Do you need something from home? I'm going to bring some clothes for you and Shion. I want to write a note for bakery customers that we going to be closed for next two, three days. I will be back as fast as possible."
Nezumi shook his head slowly. His eyes fell on sleeping Shion, then he looked over clock hanging on the wall.
"The Doctor was already here. He checked Shion's results, changed drips and said he's going to come during afternoon once more. It's better for Shion to sleep as long as possible."
The silver-eyed man nodded at Karan's information but he was a little shocked. Not only was he annoyed by the small amount of attention given towards Shion by the medical staff, at least in his opinion, but also by the fact that he slept so hard to let others walk beside him without noticing. Normally he wouldn't let unknown people to come closer while he was resting.
"I can't think of anything I want right now." He answered Karan. Well, he could think of some things for Shion, like more blankets, better pillow but Nezumi wouldn't let a woman carry all of this alone. Once Shion is going to have something like an afternoon nap he was going to have a quick ride home for those things.
"I will bring some food for both of us. You are probably hungry." Karan smiled gently like she had read his mind. After her words of food Nezumi released how hungry he was. He hadn't eaten anything besides a few chocolate bars from the hospital's vending machine. Shion would probably have some meals provided by the hospital but he and Karan should look around for some place where they could get some warm food. Well, maybe he should look around building for this cafeteria, mentioned by the female doctor who patched him up on the previous day.
"Thank you."
With Nezumi's thanks, Karan left room. The dark haired male started to check out his husband's monitoring tab. Well, not like he was a specialist but everything seemed alright. Shion was breathing regularly and his skin started to gain it's usual color back. Assured, that nothing was going to happen to his husband in a matter of the next few minutes, Nezumi made use of the room's bathroom. He washed his face but that didn't change that he looked like shit. The hits he had gotten in his face started to cover with more visible colors. Worries and a lot of crying put stains on his face too.
Nezumi tried to fix himself at least a little. He wanted to get some coffee from a machine he had seen during his searching for painkillers and he wasn't fond of showing his vulnerable state to the people.
At least he and Shion were alive. Those bruises and wounds meant nothing if they were still able to carry on.
Their coffee at home was surely better than the one he got in hospital. Still, his empty stomach growled happy at the big amount of milk and sugar he put into his drink. The hospital staff looked at him strangely, but he ignored them all. After his second coffee, he decided he felt human enough to go back to Shion's room.
Nezumi surely didn't expect a loud cry as he walked through doors. Fortunately, he had finished his cup before re-entering the room or it would now have laid on the floor as he immediately jumped to other man's bed, terrified, nerves on fire.
Shion covered his face into only one hand since he couldn't move another. Shion tried to say something with his shaking lips after his eyes noticed long haired man.
"I'm... so sorry... I lost it..." The other male sobbed to confused Nezumi.
"Shion. Calm down! I don't understand you."
"Ring. It's gone."
Nezumi looked over his husband stunned. Then he just blow up.
"Fucking Shit Shion! You fucking scared me because of the damn ring!?" Nezumi leaned into hospital drawers to get the plastic bag where he had put it last night.
"Sometimes it's hard to think you are genius. Doctors take off your ring during surgery! See?"
Just when he stood with plastic bag and looked into Shion's eyes full of tears he started to wonder why he was screaming. Yes, stress was some reason for his outburst but he shouldn't act like this for damn's sake. The person he loved was mentally worn out and Nezumi had let out his anger on him when the man was in his worst shape. And all because Shion thought he lost something very important to both of them. Not to mention that Shion couldn't have a clue that medical personnel took his belongings.
"I'm sorry for raising my voice. I didn't mean to attack you." Nezumi quickly said after realizing his mistake.
"No, it's alright. You are right. I shouldn't act so pathetic." Shion answered weakly while trying to whip out tears from his swollen face.
"I... Shion... you shouldn't cry for something like this ring... It's not worth tears. It's just a thing." Nezumi tried to explain reason behind his screams, but with every next word he felt more pitiful. Even now he tried to justify his screams when they were so wrong in the first place.
His words didn't help either of them feel better. Shion bit his lower lip and averted his eyes like he done something wrong which make Nezumi feel even worse. The long haired man didn't know what to do or say to fix this situation.
"I know... but it's important, you gave it to me." Shion explained.
"I could always buy you another one, you idiot." Nezumi said and those were his real thoughts. We would give Shion everything he could. Everything was replaceable as long as they both were not dead.
"Yeah.. you're right..." Shion whispered but Nezumi knew that it wasn't the answer he would naturally give. This only showed Nezumi in how bad shape his husband was. Healthy Shion would keep on arguing that it was an important item and another Ring wouldn't contain the memories of that trip when Nezumi had proposed.
In the serenity of the hospital room Nezumi turned around into the bathroom with his plastic bag still in his hand. Cleaning off the ring from blood and giving it back to Shion was the only answer and apology for his mistake which he was able to find in that moment. Nezumi prayed for such gesture be enough in this case.
When he came back Shion stopped crying but his eyes looked almost lifeless and lost in thoughts. Nezumi eyed man's right hands where he usually wore his ring. There was no way to put it back because Shion's whole arm was swollen from damage and surgery.
Nezumi sat down on a chair and took Shion's left hand into his instead. Momentarily, the red eyes moved towards Nezumi. After placing small kiss on Shion's palm Nezumi slid ring into other man's finger.
Shion didn't smile or even said anything after Nezumi was done.
Nezumi wondered if he should apologize once more? Shion looked so miserable, maybe some quote from a book would help cheering up the other man even a little? Nezumi knew most of his books, he could recall every line from them, yet, he couldn't find one that would fit this situation. It was unusual for them too sit in awkward silence, but none of them knew what to say.
The door leading to their room opened and some doctor accompanied by a nurse came inside.
Nezumi stepped back, giving the medical staff space to check on Shion. After almost an hour filled with conversations, Shion's questions about his and his co-workers state, doctor's instructions and plans for future treatment both of them were left alone once again.
As it was possible Shion looked even more devastated. Doctor didn't want to give Shion the exact number of victims, but it was clear that there was at least hundred deaths and even more wounded during the attack. The remaining members of The Restructual Committee had managed to prevail for the city to fall into total chaos, but many departments in Moondrop were unable to operate.
Some people who survived didn't even want to get back to their jobs. Well, whole building of Moondrop was anyway closed for everyone beside people who tried to fix and clean damage.
Former residents of the West Block stood side to side with Committee members, trying their best to not let this attack to change NO.6 again. Back to how it was before the wall fell. Special Forces and Police tried their best to make city's life go like it had before attack, even without administration and the reign of Moondrop. At least for now their efforts worked.
Which didn't mean that everything was going smoothly. The other cities once more started to question NO.6 since between the victims of that day were civilians from other cities. Some ambassadors were trying to calm down the situation but other ones were shocked by the whole incident and they wanted to leave, get back to their homelands as fast as possible.
The insufficient number of administration's members had their hands full of work already and those demands from other cities didn't help at all. There was no surprise that they requested investigation and asked how it was possible for such incident to happen in the first place. After all, No.6 had made the promise of getting rid of all weapons.
Almost all attackers were captured and placed into the jails which were created after the wall fell. Most of city's residents demanded a death sentence without any lawsuit for remaining aggressors, so that was yet another matter to deal with.
Yes, the city didn't sink into total chaos but the situation was far from deserving to be called good.
The situation was still fresh and no one knew how it would develop further. Would the remaining members of the Restructual Committee be able to fix the situation? Nezumi was almost sure that some of them would quit in fear for their own lives. The biggest question was who would be willing to replace them and those who died. Would that mean earlier elections?
Nezumi expected that most of this questions would be answered in a matter of days.
The silver-eyed man was rather worried how this whole incident would reflect on Shion's future. He didn't presume that civilians would demand for Shion to step back from being President. It was still possible, but unlikely after Nezumi saw praying people right before hospital doors. If they prayed for Shion too, of course. There was a chance that some would choose Shion as one to blame, though.
The older male asked himself if maybe it would be better for people to demand Shion's dismissal? Maybe they should let someone else handle this shit and leave city for good with Karan?
Looking over Shion who struggled to not cry again in his hospital bed, Nezumi could only feel guilty. He was the one who had put the city's responsibility into Shion's hands. He was partially guilty for Shion being in such state right now. Nezumi was one who had wanted the city to change. It was like with the Correctional Facility when he dragged the other man there. It was probably a mistake to mix Shion into ruling NO.6. And worse, this time Nezumi left the other man alone with his given task.
„Shion, do you need anything? Water? Maybe you need to go to bathroom? I can carry you there if you need. Just don't feel embarrassed my prince, I already took care of you when you gave birth to your sweet pupa." Nezumi offered like it could wash away his own disgust towards himself. Disgust born from his own hypocrisy and caring for Shion because of any other reason but love. To offer help to the other male in order to make his own persona to feel better.
„No, thank you. They gave me a catheter." The white haired man said still sounding quite embarrassed despite of the older boy's words.
Nezumi nodded to his husband while his heart sank even more deep into sadness at such information. He knew about catheter and damn, this sounded as uncomfortable as it probably was in reality.
"Alright, but if I can help you with something don't hesitate and ask."
"Okay." Shion answered weakly.
They sat in silence for the next minutes until the white haired boy asked if Nezumi could help him to change his laying position. In the end both of them weren't able to move Shion's body too much.
The crimson eyed male couldn't lay on his sides or stomach without hurting his wounds. Nezumi hissed at himself angry. He couldn't even fulfill such small request. Still, he tried to calm himself down knowing that Shion felt even worse.
Looking at a frustrated and tired Shion, Nezumi asked himself another question. Would Shion still want to rule the city after all of this? Knowing the other man Nezumi was almost sure that his husband wouldn't run away even after something like this. He was going to rise once more, even stronger. And when that was going to happen Nezumi would make sure that something like this never happened again.
