Chapter 29: Have a Little Faith in Me
Abby
March 15
It's been unseasonably cold the past few days, which is so typical of the world trying its best to make me miserable. I came home for spring break instead of going on a cruise or someplace warm and wonderful. I guess I came home because Mom wants me to become better friends with Coach Allen. I normally would've said "no way!" but I wanted to show her that I'm not being immature about this whole dating thing between the two of them.
"Abby?"
I had been lying on my stomach in my bed, looking through a stack of old magazines that had been lying around the house. It was fun to see how celebrities looked years ago and, even better, the kinds of clothes that were the highlight of fashion back in the 90's. I looked up from my reading to call back to my mother.
"Yeah, Mom?"
"I'm going to run to the grocery store."
I sighed and rolled off my bed. I didn't much feel like shouting across the whole house since I knew she was going to make a conversation out of this instead of just leaving the house. She usually doesn't yell to tell anyone she's leaving- she just leaves. I climbed down the stairs and groaned.
"It's still snowing?"
Mom was tugging on her mittens. "Yeah. The weatherman said that we're in for at least another 6 to 12 inches before morning."
"It's March!"
"Don't blame me, Abby," Mom said with a grin. "Blame the weatherman."
I shook my fist. "Damn you, weatherman!"
"OK, I'm leaving." Mom looked down at herself. "I might not be able to get into the car with all of this padding, but I'm going to try."
"You'll look like one of those clown cars when you get out," I said. She laughed dryly.
"Thank you, Abby." She gestured towards the living room. "Bob's over. Can you keep him company until I return?"
I shrugged. "Yeah, sure." I wanted to whine about how weird I felt around him, but I decided to save that for when he wasn't in the next room. "Are you going to be gone long?"
"I shouldn't be," she said. "I just want to pick up some bread and milk and things like that before we're really snowed in. Tomorrow's Friday, so if things are bad enough, I'm just going to call in to work to tell them I'm not coming in. Besides, we don't have any food in this place since I haven't had time to shop in the past two weeks and have been living off of fast food and restaurants."
"Good
call."
"Anyways, go in there and keep Bob company, all
right?" I rolled my eyes. "You two should really get to know
one another. Besides, I'm going to rent some movies while I'm
out so that we can have something to do instead of just channel
surfing."
I smiled and handed her purse to her. "Hurry back? It looks kind of nasty out there."
Mom leaned over to kiss my cheek. "I won't be out for more than a half hour, Abby. It'll be all right." She turned to the living. "I'll be back soon, honey!"
"I'll keep the couch warm!" Bob called back.
I moaned softly and Mom patted my head. As soon as her car left the driveway, I turned back towards the living room. I might as well get some of this bonding stuff out of the way. When I walked into the living room, I saw Bob lying on the couch, flipping through the channels. When he noticed me, he smiled.
"Come on in, Abby." He started to move so that I could have some room on the couch, but I sunk down into my father's old armchair. Bob made a good effort of pretending that it didn't bother him, but I knew it did. I felt bad for a moment. "Anything you want to watch?"
"Not really. I was just reading some magazines upstairs." I shrugged. "I'm kind of tired."
"Well, then, we'll just have to watch something that will keep you from being so tired." He flipped to channel 53 just in time for us to watch a car burst into flames. I felt my stomach twist. Bob noticed immediately and changed the channel. "I'm sorry, Abby. I forgot."
I sighed and shook my head. "It's not your fault. You didn't know."
"Yes, I did," he said, still looking embarrassed. "Your mother told me what happened to your father. I'm really sorry."
"Coach?"
"Yes, Abby?"
I cleared my throat. "It's been really weird having you here."
"I know what you mean," he said. I narrowed my eyes. He had no idea how I felt! "When I was a kid, my mother died of cancer. Years later, once my father had started to heal from losing her, he started dating. I hated every single woman he brought home."
"I don't hate you, Coach."
"Call me Bob, Abby. We're not in school." I smiled. "Anyways, I was never all right with any woman he dated until he brought home Judy. She was the kindest, most compassionate woman I had ever met, besides my mother. I wanted to hate her because I knew my father was replacing my mother, but I couldn't. It was like she understood how hard it was for me to watch my father date women other than my mother."
"What happened?" I asked.
"They got married," Bob said with a smile. "They were so in love with one another and since she got along with us kids so well, they decided to make it permanent."
I shook my head. "So… you do understand."
"I do and I don't blame you for resenting me."
"I'm getting over it."
"You shouldn't," he said and I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "You should feel a little bit hurt that I'm dating your mother. You loved your father and this feels like it's betraying him, doesn't it?"
I sighed. "Can we talk about something else?"
Bob smiled. "Of course, Abby. Want to watch some Shark Week reruns?"
"My God, man!" I exclaimed. "You have Shark Week on video?"
"Nope," he said and got up to walk over to the hallway table. He opened the book bag resting on it and pulled out a box. He dropped it in my lap as he returned to the couch. It was all of Shark Week in a DVD set. I stared at Bob in reverence.
"Wow."
"You're the first woman to compliment my taste in TV shows."
"Other women must stupid because… I mean, wow."
"Pop it in, Abby."
I got up and set up the DVD player before sliding the first disc into the machine. Then I raced back to my dad's old armchair and settled down to watch some serious shark induced trauma.
29
Time went by faster than I had realized until I looked at the clock.
"Where's Mom?" I asked suddenly, pausing right in the middle of a shark eating some unfortunate fish. Bob followed my eyes to the clock. "She's been gone for nearly an hour!"
He cleared his throat. "She's probably just shopping around more than she had intended. The kitchen really is food free at the moment."
"Yeah, but she's been gone too long."
I got to my feet and went to the telephone. I'd feel better if I called her cell phone and knew where she was. The phone rang once then stopped. I looked over at Bob.
"It stopped ringing," I said with mounting panic. He got to his feet.
"Abby, I'm sure it's just the-"
That was when the electricity went out. The lights went out and the phone was dead. I let out a terrified shriek when everything went suddenly quiet. I couldn't see a thing.
"Bob?" I asked with an annoying squeak in my voice.
"I'm right here, Abby," he said. There was the noise of someone fumbling around and then a small square of light came on. I jumped. "At least this cell phone has a lantern feature."
I laughed uneasily. Bob looked around the room. "Where do you keep the candles and flashlights?"
"In the basement," I said. He approached me and put his hands on my shoulders. I felt a slight pressure.
"Sit down. I'll go get them."
I nodded wordlessly and he started for the basement. I waited until I heard him down in the basement before clapping my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming.
I could see the snow piling up outside and the only thoughts running through my head were that of the possibility of my mother being in a car accident. The roads had to be slippery and she had been gone so long. What if she had slid off the road and was lying someplace, bleeding to death in her car? Dad had died in a car, so why not Mom? I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and felt myself begin to rock in the chair.
"Abby, I found it!" Bob's voice called from the basement. "There's a lighter in here, too."
Go figure Mom would have a special emergency kit. Ever since Dad had died, she has always made sure that the car was fully stocked with first aid items and that the house was completely stocked as well.
Oh, God, what if she was going to die in a car just like Dad?
"OK," I called back, my voice shaking. Tears started to prickle in my eyes and I brushed at my face frantically.
I heard Bob's footsteps enter the room and I opened my eyes again. He had a flashlight in one hand and a big cardboard box under his other arm. He smiled at me and I was glad he didn't notice how panicked I felt.
"Why don't you start lighting candles?" he asked, tossing a lighter at me. I nodded and got up to grab a handful of those little round white candles that people put into pumpkins at Halloween.
Avoiding Bob's eyes, I began to light the candles one by one. Bob sifted through the box until he came up with a second lighter and began to do the same. After about ten minutes, the room was well lit with candles and the two battery powered lanterns Mom had put into the box. I rocked back off my heels and sat down heavily.
"Abby?" I heard my former coach asked. At that, I burst into all out crying. Bob was by my side instantly. "What's wrong?"
"Mom's dead!" I moaned miserably. Bob put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close against him.
"She's all right," he said softly. I shook my head.
"No, she's dead, just like Dad!"
Bob was quiet for a moment. "Do you think she died out there because your Dad died in a car accident?"
"Yes!" I gasped. "Don't you get it? God has really got something against me! Of course He's going to kill my mother, too!" I felt Bob's hand begin to rub my back and I slumped against him miserably. "Why?"
"Abby, sweetheart, I'm sure she's just fine. She's probably in the store now. I bet they're keeping everyone there so there aren't any accidents."
I continued to sob, not wanting to argue with him. I knew better than he did what was going on. Still, I didn't push him away from me like a tiny part of me wanted to do. It was nice to be held by a man who wasn't interested in a relationship with. After a few minutes, my sobs lessened, even though I was still crying. Bob squeezed my shoulder.
"Are you all right?" he asked gently. I shook my head.
"No."
"Do you have any marshmallows?"
I began to laugh nervously. "What?"
"We should make some s'mores. It'll be fun." He pulled away from me just enough for me to see the smile on his face. "Maybe we can even pilfer a hotdog or two and have a campfire picnic."
I laughed again, this time not as hysterically. "The fireplace works."
"Come on," he quietly and helped me to my feet. "Why don't you round up our provisions and I'll start the fire."
29
Amazingly, we did have all of the items needed to make hotdogs and s'mores. There weren't any buns or even bread, so we sliced up our cooked hotdogs and dunked them into the little pile of ketchup on our plates. After a few hotdogs and several s'mores were in my stomach, I began to feel a little calmer and a lot sleepier. Bob nudged me.
"Come on, don't fall asleep! We have to finish that episode of Shark Week we were watching."
I smiled at him. "I'll do my best to stay awake." I turned to look out the window. Very slowly, a pair of headlights was approaching us from down the street. I got up to look out the window. "There's someone driving out there."
Bob got to his feet as well and stood behind me. "They shouldn't be out there now. It's dangerous."
I didn't answer. We watched the car slowly approach the house. It slid every so often on the ice on the road, but never went out of control. My mouth dropped as it started to pull into our driveway.
"Mom!" I screamed. I raced towards the front door and jammed my feet into the first pair of shoes I could find. I flung open the door and gasped at the icy chill of the wind. After that first instant, I didn't even feel the wind anymore. I began to run down the driveway and I could hear Bob's boots crunching along behind me. The car stopped about ten feet away from me and I stilled. The door opened and my mother slowly climbed out.
I flung myself into her arms, sobbing once more.
"Abby, honey," she murmured, stroking my hair. "It's all right."
"I thought you died!" I cried. "You almost died!"
She laughed softly. "No, honey, I'm fine. Nothing happened."
"You're all right," Bob said quietly. My mother pulled away from me to look at him. I noticed tears suddenly brimming in her eyes before she threw herself at him like I had done with her. He started to cry as well. "Thank God."
They held one another until Mom reached out to me. I instantly squeezed myself into a three person hug with them. When I closed my eyes, it almost felt like being hugged between my Mom and Dad again. After a few minutes, I felt myself started to shiver. Mom gave me a nudge.
"Go inside, Abby. You're freezing."
I wanted to stay with them. "But, Mom-"
"Go," she said again. She stared at me as I just stood there. She motioned towards the car. "Why don't you bring in some of the groceries before the milk freezes?"
I laughed. "It can do that."
"Oh, yeah," Mom said. "Besides, if we all take a couple of bags we can get everything in at once and not have to come back out here again."
She knew. She knew somehow that I wanted to do was stick as closely to her as I could. I smiled and opened the passenger seat door and found the seat filled with bags of food. I grabbed a couple bags and began to walk up towards the house again. When I hesitated to go back in, Mom and Bob took the rest of the stuff out of the car and followed me.
Twenty minutes later, we were all back inside, roasting ourselves in front of the fire place and gorging on the food Mom had bought. I noticed Mom and Bob sitting close to one another and the way their eyes lit up every time they glanced at one another. I looked back into the dancing flames in the fireplace which were casting eerie shadows on the walls.
I could be OK with this, I thought. I could be OK with Mom dating again, especially if it was Coach Bob Allen. They weren't perfect together, but Mom and Dad weren't perfect together, either. I guess that all I needed to be sure that I was ready to accept the fact that Mom was ready to date was knowing that the man she was dating honestly seemed to care about us as a family.
