Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

X

A faint ringing echoed through the apartment and Jax blindly patted the side table behind him with his free hand for his phone, until he realized it wasn't his that was making unpleasant the noise.

"Babe." He nudged Tara's forehead with his nose, who was still curled into his side. "It's you. It's probably Christy." He mumbled groggily.

"Probably." Tara groaned while she slowly sat up, then stood and rather sleepily stumbled towards her bedroom to answer the call, while Jax watched after her retrieving form.

Jax sighed as he sat up, swiped both hands down his face rubbing the sleep from his eyes, before he pushed his hands through his disheveled hair. He could hear Tara on the phone, and from the few words he's caught, it was indeed Christy who was calling.

He stood and rifled through the overnight bag they hadn't bothered to unpack the night before, and pulled out a clean pair of underwear, before he shuffled almost listless past Tara's bedroom into the bathroom. He peed and washed his hands before he splashed some water onto his face to fully wake himself up. He then pulled off his grey sweats and black briefs, discarded them into the hamper before he quickly stepped into the clean pair of briefs instead.

On his way back to the living room, he stopped in Tara's doorway for a moment, and when she looked up at him, he made a motion with his fingers to his lips, to signal he was going to have a smoke, to which Tara simply nodded her head before she returned her attention back towards the phone conversation she was having.

Jax got dressed in under a minute, reached for his keys and his cigarettes on the table and was out the door.

Instead of heading downstairs though, he headed for the smoking spot Tara had shown him, that the majority of the residents here used. So he took the staircase up another two levels, hurriedly stepped down the hallway that had been under construction since before he'd gotten here, and stepped through the door that lead outside to the patio area.

It wasn't anything fancy, but it had some lawn chairs to sit in, a table and an ashtray, and most of the concrete floor was covered in a green outdoor carpet with some potted plants scattered here and there, that one of the residents attended to. It was supposed to give the illusion of grass and make it seem more inviting, like a small garden of some sort then just a slap of cold concrete.

Jax sat and shielded his lighter from the wind with his hand when he tried to light his cigarette. He inhaled the fumes, threw the lighter on the table next to his pack of cigarettes and leaned back in his chair, as he took in the view, even thought there wasn't much to see.

He sat in silence, and tried to enjoy the nicotine hitting his system, but pretty much the moment that phone call had woke him up, his mind went back to last night and everything that was going on with Tara. He realized now just how fucking wrong he had been to think that everything would be fine and work itself out, if he'd only get her to forgive him.

The truth was, that whatever Juice had done to her, had caused way more damage than he had realized. The bodily harm she had suffered through was just the tip of the fucking iceberg, this shit ran way deeper and once more he found himself at a loss.

And if he was completely honest with himself, he knew that deep down he couldn't blame it all on Juice either, because god knows that woman had been put through the ringer over the past couple of years. Long before Juice ever decided to go after her.

There were moments when Jax almost wished Lowen hadn't fucking shared Tara's horror-notes with him, because it still gutted him every time he thought about what she had written. It wasn't so much what she described in those notes, because for the most part he was aware of everything that had happened, what had gutted him was read it in her own words just how terrified and haunted she was during those times.

Another thing that had crushed him was to see it in her own handwriting, but how shaky it was, and every time he read over her words, he couldn't help but wonder if it was because her hand wasn't all the way healed just yet, or if it was because she was terrified in the moments when she was writing those words. Locked up in county while he was busy screwing Colette behind her back. Even if Tara could find it in her heart to ever forgive him for that, he wasn't sure he could ever forgive himself for the things he'd done to her.

He also couldn't help himself but ponder over the fact that to his knowledge she hadn't had any nightmares since he'd first gotten here, but now, after their little trip back to Charming, the nightmare had suddenly reappeared with a vengeance. Surely that wasn't a coincidence.

But then again, over the last few days, he'd also pushed her more. Some might even say he had taken advantage of her moment of weakness when she'd kissed him, had taken that kiss of hers to the next level. So who's to say it was Charming, Gemma or the Club that brought all those demons back up last night ... it could very well have been him who'd simply taken it too far. If he was completely honest, there really wasn't a line she had drawn that he hadn't crossed yet, ... well, with the exception of that pivotal one!

On the upside, it had been so fucking nice to fall asleep with her in his arms. But at what cost?

The heavy metal door creaked when Tara stepped sideways out onto the patio with two steaming mugs in her hands, using her hip and ass to push the door open enough to step through. "Hey."

"Hey." Jax looked up as he replied and smiled at the sight of her.

It never ceased to amaze him just how beautiful she looked, even without a drop of make-up on, like she did right now. He quickly stubbed out the remainder of his smoke, got up out of his chair and reached for the cup of coffee she was holding out to him.

"Thanks, babe." He put the cup of coffee down on the table and pulled the other chair out for her to take a seat right beside him.

"You're welcome." Tara answered, and settled into the chair, pulling her legs up onto the seat to get comfortable.

"It's cold out today." She said as she pulled up the neckline of her oversized sweater, that had slipped down her shoulder, then clutched the mug with both hands before she raised it to her lips and took a small sip.

"Yeah. I think the wind up here is making it worse." He nodded as he looked over at her, and ideas of how he could warm her up began to pop into his head, but he knew there was no time for any of that. And besides, he needed to stop pushing her. "So is it time to go get our little monsters?" Jax shot her a smirk, before he too took a sip of his steaming beverage.

"Yes, they're up. Christy's making them breakfast right now." Tara answered, but then looked over at him cautiously, "But actually, I was thinking, would you be okay if we invited Christy and Jason over?"

Jax raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Today?"

"Yeah." Tara nodded, "They've been so great watching the kids for us this weekend. I thought we could go get some take-out later, maybe play some cards .. you know. And honestly, we've all been so busy, I can't remember the last time I've spend any time with them outside of work."

"Sure, if that's what you want." He answered in agreement, even though he really wasn't feeling like having company today. He'd actually looked forward to the fact that it would be just them and their boys.

He fished a cigarette out of his pack of smokes, and held the pack up to Tara, who pulled one out as well. Tara leaned in and he lit hers first, then he lit his, before they continued their conversation.

Tara had seen the reluctance in his eyes when he'd answered her, but after the last couple of days, she really needed some time to talk out her feelings with someone other than him. For the most part, Christy was a great listener, she was supportive, and most importantly, she never held back calling Tara out on her bullshit. She needed some of that clarity today, because everything was just getting to her.

He was getting to her.

Ever since she'd been stupid enough to kiss him, she'd craved his lips on hers, his arms around her, his touch, even more than she had before, and it terrified her so much. She was like an addict, and he was the drug she wasn't supposed to indulge in. Which was much easier said than done, if she wasn't around him twenty-four seven.

So even though he had already agreed, she continued to further sell him on the idea, "Jason could help you unload the bikes, and you could actually return the trailer today, instead of wasting your lunch break tomorrow to do it."

Jax exhaled and nodded, but stared off into the distance instead of meeting her eyes, "Alright."

She could tell he wasn't thrilled, but they had practically sat on each other since they left for Charming early Friday morning, she needed to get some time away, even if just for one hour to get Christy to put her head on straight again.

Tara took a long drag, and slowly exhaled, as she tried to bring up another thing she'd been thinking about since her conversation with Christy from a few minutes ago. "So Christy's neighbors down the street died on Friday. Some drunk driver plowed through the intersection, they both died at the scene."

"Shit." Jax said and actually looked over at her now. "Were they close?"

Tara shook her head, "No, not really. But they had two little ones, a boy and a girl, and some family members from out of town are gonna take them in now, or at least that's what Christy heard from another neighbor. And ... I guess it just made me think again, about what would happen to the boys if something would happen to us."

At that Jax shot her a look she couldn't quite decipher, before he looked away and took another drag from his cigarette. "I've got papers on file with Lowen. If anything happened to both of us, Margaret and her husband would get the boys."

Tara shook her head, "I don't think those papers are valid anymore, since I was in a coma at the time and you were acting as my proxy, but now that I'm awake, I'd have to sign off on that. So technically, the boys would be up for grabs if something would happen before we get all of that straightened out."

He looked over at her then, "Then let's get Lowen to write something up again, and we both sign it. Should be easy enough."

"But maybe Margaret isn't the right person anymore." Tara suddenly blurted out.

Jax's eyes met hers, his eyebrows raised to new heights, and he tried to read the expression on her face, "Are you serious?"

Tara shook her head, "Sorry, that came out wrong. I love Margaret, and the boys love her, but we both know if both of us were out of the picture, Gemma would never let her raise those boys in peace. The only reason she stayed away last time, was because you made sure that she would."

Jax sighed in obvious frustration, not liking at all where this conversation was headed. He didn't want to fight, especially not about Gemma. There was simply too much other shit he was currently worried about. "You really wanna do this now, babe?"

"We have to talk about this." Tara said with equal frustration, and leaned forward hastily to stub her cigarette out in the ashtray, before clutching her mug with two hands again, "We can't just keep hoping for the best, it doesn't work like that when you have kids, Jax. Even if we both think that we're gonna live to be a hundred, we still have to prepare for what could happen."

"I know." Jax said and swiped a hand down his face and sighed, "I think this time we can both agree that Wendy isn't the right person for the job either."

"Agreed." Tara nodded. "That was my mistake."

Jax thought about it for a long moment, then said, "What if we still made Margaret their guardian, but allowed Gemma visitation, so she'd at least get to see them. Put it all down in writing, have it filed with the court."

He looked up at Tara and saw the disbelieving look in her eyes, "I know that shit with you and her still runs deep, but despite everything she's said and done, you know that she loves those boys with everything she's got."

Jax knew he was treading on thin ice with this conversation, but when his mind went back to how Gemma had broken down and cried in his arms just yesterday, he knew he had to bring it up. "If both you and I were gone for good, don't they have a right to at least grow up knowing their only living grandparent?"

Tara couldn't believe her ears, but in hindsight she should've seen this coming. Gemma was a master manipulator, so there was no doubt she'd weasel her way back into their lives sooner or later. But her feelings about her mother-in-law hadn't changed one bit, and she knew that she didn't want Gemma to have any part in her babies lives.

But she also knew, she needed to get Jax to see it the same way, "I know she loves them, just like she loves you, but she clearly doesn't love them enough to leave Charming, or leave the club and the life. And let's not forget that she basically wanted me to just disappear, so she could raise my babies to become part of Sam Crow, like she'd done with you. She would use every minute she'd get to spend with them grooming them to prospect and eventually patch in, and you know that."

Jax remained quiet, he knew Tara was right.

But Tara mistook Jax's silence as a sign that he disagreed, so she quickly added, "Let's not forget that she almost killed them, driving drunk and high. And I get that she didn't want to miss out on time with them, I get all of that, Jax, but there were a million different ways she could've handled that situation. She could've had Lyla, even one of the other girls, or one of the prospects drop the boys off at her house, instead of getting behind the wheel herself in the state she was in."

Tara shook her head in disbelieve. "And I thought you agreed with me, when we stood there watching them fix Abel's heart because of what she had done? If it hadn't been for you needing her help to get to Clay, we wouldn't even be having this conversation."

"I know." Jax replied, running his hands down his face before he added, "I know you're right, babe ... about everything. I just think, she's so lost ... she could've left Charming, be with Nero in Norco, but instead she's just struggling, she's a mess. And even after everything that has happened, she's still my mom, and I hate to see her like this." He answered truthfully.

The fact that Gemma had managed to make him doubt his decision to still keep her from their boys for even a second, brought all that pent up anger she'd held onto since the day she was arrested right back to the surface. "And I am their mom, Jackson, and I just can't have her back in their lives. Not after everything that happened, after she almost killed Abel, or the way she has treated me, and threatened me. I swear, baby, you don't even know the half of it." She gave Jax a look that reflected just how serious she was about all of this.

"And why is that?" Jax raised his voice slightly, catching her off guard, and looked frustrated all over again. The last thing he wanted to do right now was argue with her, but he needed to say this, "You do realize that most of the shit between you and her could've been avoided or resolved, if you had just come to me with it? Talked to me about it?"

"Right. I bet Gemma would've loved that. Me running to you every single time, like some god damn damsel in distress." Tara said sarcastically, then looked away and scoffed, "Like you didn't have enough on your plate already. You would've gotten real tired real quick, playing goddamn referee between mommy dearest and me."

"You don't know that." Jax said earnestly, but then paused for a long moment before he spoke up again. "Look, I know my life was consumed with the club back then. And because of that I fell short as a husband and a father, but, babe, you don't know what would've happened if you had just talked to me, and had told me everything." There was a long pause, but when Tara didn't speak up, Jax did.

"So what else don't I know that she's done?" He surprised her with a much gentler tone again. "Why don't you tell me now?"

At that, Tara looked up at him apprehensively, but the look in his eyes conveyed that he was dead serious. She thought about the events of the day she'd gotten arrested, Gemma's threat and attack, the one that ultimately lead her to come up with the plan about the miscarriage.

She swallowed the lump it caused in her throat, and pinched the bridge of her nose, wondering where or how to even start. She'd held Gemma's ugly words inside of her for so long now, never thought in a million years she'd repeat them to anyone out loud. "When I got arrested, earlier that same day, she ... she'd somehow found out that I had accepted the Providence offer up in Oregon. She showed up at my office to confront me about it. We argued. She said if I dared to set foot out of Charming, she'd tell the investigators that it was my idea to bring the crucifix to Otto, that it was my plan for him to kill the nurse with it in order to kill RICO."

"Jesus Christ." Jax cursed out loud interrupting her, and practically flung himself out of his chair, trying his best to contain his anger. He hurriedly stubbed his smoke out, turned back towards her and looked right at her, "That's why you thought she was the one that had ratted you out?"

"Yes." Tara nodded, "But that's not all. Um ... she said she'd get satisfaction out of knowing that I'd be locked up and fist raped every night until the boys were in their twenties. I kinda lost it, grabbed her by the throat, but she punched me in the stomach, then said she hoped I wasn't pregnant. Who in their right mind would want someone like that raising their babies?"

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me any of this?" Jax blurted out, his cheeks suddenly flaming red in anger now.

"I was going to tell you, the night I was arrested. I was going to show you the bruise she'd left behind." She blurted right back at him, "But all you saw was that I was pushing Wendy as a guardian, and I felt like nothing I could've said was going to get through to you." Tara's eyes began to fill with tears, but she fought to keep them at bay. "Before I got a chance to explain to you what had happened, and why I chose Wendy over Gemma, Roosevelt showed up." Tara hid her face in her hands and sobbed, no longer able to keep her emotions under control as all those feelings from that moment came rushing back to her.

Jax wiped at his eyes now too, the guilt he'd already been feeling about that night came on tenfold now that he knew the whole truth. He stepped closer towards her, reached for her, pulling her hands from her face and pulled her up to her feet, before he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace.

They stood silently like this for several long minutes, with Jax running a soothing hand up and down her back, just like he had done the night before. Then Jax pulled back, releasing her out of his arms and looked down at her, "Babe. You should've told me."

Tara looked up at him and nodded. "I wasn't sure if you'd even believe me."

"Of course I'd believe you. When have I ever not believed you?" Another pause, while he gently pushed her hair out of her face, as all the puzzle pieces in his head began to click into place.

His mind went back to the notes she'd made about all the horrible things that had happened, yet this encounter with his mother wasn't in the notes, but he'd already figured out why. "That's how you came up with the whole miscarriage idea." He further inquired, his eyes not leaving hers, but he didn't wait for her to answer. "You figured she'd attack you like she had before, except the plan failed because she thought you were actually pregnant, so she held back."

"Yes." Tara answered solemnly, thankful that the tears had stopped falling again. "I'm sorry, Jax." For so so many things.

Jax palmed her face with his hands and leaned forward to kiss her forehead, before he spoke again. "Is there anything else you haven't told me, that you probably should have?"

Tara lowered her head and leaned her forehead against his chest, taking a few seconds to think. "I was the one that beat up Carla on the day of Opie's wake." She ruefully confessed. "Not Gemma, like everyone just assumed."

"What?" Jax tipped her face up by her chin, trying to look her in the eye. "Why?" His face contorted in confusion, eyebrows drawn together as he tried to read the answer in her eyes.

Tara scoffed, she had so many different reasons why, and yet no earthly idea of how to really explain them, but she'd give it her best shot. "It was just a bad day, you know. I loved Opie. But at the same time I felt so guilty and angry with myself, for being relieved that it wasn't you who had died in county. And it made me feel so horrible inside for even thinking that way. Then Gemma said that Carla was the reason you went down earlier that day, almost got you killed too and I just ... I just lost it. " Tears started streaming down her face again. "So I let all those feelings out on her." Her voice broke painfully on the last word.

Jax really wasn't sure what to say to that, because to this day he still struggled with the thought that his best friend was no longer here with him and a part of their lives.

But he couldn't fault her for feeling the way she was, because as sickening as the thought sounded in his own head, he knew that if he had ever been put into the position to choose between Tara's life, or Ope's, he would've chosen her without a doubt. And yet, that thought provoked the same kind of guilt he knew she'd been feeling all along.

"Come here." He finally said and hugged her tightly against his chest once more. He buried his face in her hair, taking in the faint smell that was left of her shampoo just like he had done last night and tried to remind himself that all of these revelations were a necessary part of healing their relationship. The hidden truths, and unspoken words needed to finally see the light of day.

Tara's voice sounded so small and fragile when she finally dared to speak again, "There's one more thing I've been keeping from you. And it's been eating me up inside, Jax. I've been holding onto this for so long, and the longer I kept it from you, the harder it seemed to reveal it. Then the proof I had was destroyed, and I wasn't sure if you'd even believe me if I told you." She told him truthfully, revealing her worst fears to him.

"What is it, babe?" Jax urged her to tell. "Just tell me."

That's when Tara looked up and framed his face in hers for the first time and looked him right in the eyes, "I need you to promise me thought, that you won't do anything impulsive or stupid, because all of this is in the past now. And like I said, there is no proof anymore." She knew she was about to break his heart in two, but it was time to tell him everything.

He didn't like this one bit, he also didn't like being kept in the dark, but he could tell by her words and by the look in her eyes that whatever she was about to confess to him was clearly a serious matter.

"Alright." He simply nodded his agreement to keep his cool, and Tara dropped her hands from his face and instead reached for his hands, squeezing them for a brief moment before she dared to say what she needed to say. She'd wanted to get this off of her chest for so long. "I read all the letters that Maureen had hidden in your bag, and um ... and some of them suggested that Gemma knew what Clay was going to do." She saw a flicker of confusion quickly being replaced by hurt and then anger in his blue eyes staring back at her.

Jax's jaw clenched as he still tried to process what Tara had just told him. "You said you'd lost the proof?" He suddenly further inquired.

Tara nodded, "Gemma came to me, told me that it was Ope who'd shot Clay, because Clay had killed Piney. She also told me that she knew it was Clay who tried to have me abducted, that she'd confronted him about it, and that's why he'd beaten her up. She said that Clay would continue to lash out at anything and anyone until he'd get his hands on those letters. I was scared, Jax, because Clay had come to see me at the hospital the day before and had basically threatened you and me. He'd said that it would be a shame if you and I would never make it out of Charming alive. So I gave Gemma the letters, but instead of delivering them to Clay, she threw out the ones that implicated her and then handed the rest of them over to you instead." Tara searched his face for a reaction, and she could see the anger reflecting back in his eyes.

He pulled his hands out of hers and spun around, facing away from her and Tara watched with a heavy heart as his hands balled into fists by his side for a long silent moment.

She hesitated for a minute, but then found the courage to step forward and right behind him. She placed one hand flat against his broad back, while her other hand curled around his arm from behind, her forehead leaning against his shoulder blade, she could feel how tense his muscles were beneath her touch.

"I'm so sorry, Jax. About everything." She paused for a second, unsure if she should continue with what she wanted to say, but decided to get it off of her chest once and for all, "I didn't want to give those letters to you when you were still inside, because I was afraid you'd kill Clay if you knew, and then not get out after fourteen months. And then when you got out and were so hell-bent on leaving with me, I was afraid those letters would push you back in." She confessed some more guilt she'd been carrying with her all this time. "Piney might still be alive if I hadn't kept those damn letters from you."

"It's not your fault." He suddenly spoke, his voice grim and dark.

Tara didn't know how to respond, she was just so utterly clueless of how to handle him when he was this way. But then again, how would anyone handle the news that their mother might've had taken part in the murder of their father. It was such a heavy cross to bear.

"None of this is your fault, babe." He said, his voice a bit softer again. His hand blindly reached back for her, to pull her into his side instead and she wordlessly complied. "You got caught in the middle, and never should've been put in that spot in the first place."

She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his shoulder in relief that he sounded more like himself again.

"I'm done with her. I promise, she'll never get anywhere near our boys again." He said solemnly, starring off into the distance, just a sea of rooftops spread out in front of them. "But you're wrong, there's still proof."

At that Tara looked up at him and drew her eyebrows together in confusion. "What do you mean? I'm sure she's destroyed 'em on that same day."

"I believe you, Tara. I don't want you to think for even a second that I don't believe you, but I have to have proof before I confront her, which means I have to reach out to Maureen and hear it from her myself. That way you won't be caught in the middle again when I call Gemma to tell her why I'm cutting her out of our lives once and for all. If I tell her it was you who told me, she'll twist it around and say that you're just plotting against her again, trying to push her out of the family. But if I can tell her that it was Maureen who told me, there's nothing she can say, because Maureen has nothing to gain by creating a rift between Gemma and I."

He looked down at her then for the first time since he'd pulled her back into his arms, and met her eyes, searching them for something. "I know my dad was lying and cheating on her, and she had every right to leave him, and be hurt and angry about that. And I also know that sadly I didn't fall far from that unfaithful tree and have hurt you just the same. But never in a million years could I picture you plotting my death because of it. Because you are good person, Tara, and she is just ... not!" He hugged her even closer to his side and gently kissed her forehead again. "I love you so much, babe." He mumbled against her hair.

"I love you too." Tara answered back and reached up, pulling him down towards her to kiss him. First soft and sweet, but then their lips parted and the kiss grew more intense as Jax framed her face with his hands now in return.

Their passionate kiss was suddenly interrupted when Tara's phone in her back pocket started ringing.

Tara pulled away, reaching back for her phone, "Shit. That's probably Christy. I told he I'd call her right back after I talked to you." She looked at the screen and saw that it was in fact her friend and shook her head, "I can tell her we can do this another time. We can just go and get the boys."

"Babe, it's fine. Just tell 'em to come over in an hour." Jax reassured her. "Right now, having some company will help both of us take our minds off of all of this for a little while."

"Are you sure?" Tara looked at him quizzically.

"I'm sure." Jax replied and rubbed the pad of his thumb over the worry lines between her eyebrows. "Don't worry so much. We're all good, I promise."

"Okay." Tara nodded, and answered the call.

X

Jason and Jax had made quick work getting the bikes unloaded, and were already back in the truck, on the way to the nearest U-Haul place to return the trailer Jax had rented.

Their conversation this far had only consisted of bikes, trucks, sports cars and the like. Jax had tried his best to focus on what they were talking about, but he simply couldn't shake all the other thoughts that continued to roam through his mind.

His mind kept going back to what Tara had finally revealed to him earlier that morning, about Gemma's possible involvement in his father's death. He did believe Tara wholeheartedly, but at the same time he held out hope that Tara might've misread, or misunderstood what had been revealed in those letters.

He meant what he'd told Tara, that he wouldn't let Gemma back into their family, merely for the way she'd threatened and hurt his wife. But he still held out hope that Maureen would tell him that Tara misunderstood, and that his mother wasn't the monster he thought her to be at this very moment.

Jax had already tried to get a hold of Maureen hours ago, and was now rather impatiently awaiting a call back from her.

But Jason suddenly brought him back to reality, when he decided to steer their little chat into a whole other direction.

"So Tara and you seem to get along much better." Jason had phrased it like a statement, but Jax could hear the underlying question.

He nodded, "Yeah, we are."

"That's good." He nodded. "I think having you home and helping her with the boys must be taking some of that pressure off of her, you know. She seems more relaxed at work now too."

He paused for a second, but then added, "I mean, things between her and Seward are still a bit awkward, but they barely consult on the same cases anyways, so."

At that Jax's curiosity was peaked, and looked over at Jason several times, between focusing on the road when he said, "Who the hell is Seward?"

"Shit. I thought you knew about him." Jason looked suddenly uncomfortable, having put his foot in his mouth. "It's the guy she was dating a while back, while you were broken up."

"Wait ... you mean John?" Jax clarified, and was relieved when Jason nodded, glad to know there hadn't been yet another guy in Tara's life.

"Yeah, John. So you do know about him?" Jason asked to confirm.

"I knew she'd been seeing someone, but I had no fucking clue that he worked in the hospital with her." Jax said with obvious agitation in his voice suddenly. He didn't like the fact that Tara had kept that little tidbit from him.

"Well, shit." Jason cursed, wishing he would've kept his big mouth shut. "I thought you knew."

X

At the same time, Tara and Christy sat on a park bench across town, just a few blocks from the apartment, watching Abel and Thomas amuse themselves on the playground.

It hadn't really warmed up today, and was still as cold as it had been this morning, maybe even colder since the wind had picked up even more, and rain was in the forecast too. So both women and the little boys were bundled up with heavy jackets and gloves against the cold wind.

"You know, it's kind of hard to help you sort all of this out, if I don't know everything." Christy honestly said as she looked over at her friend and studied the tormented look on her face.

"I know." Tara nodded and met her eyes. "It's just, if you knew everything that I've done, you wouldn't look at me the same." She pushed her hands inside the pockets of her coat and leaned back into the park bench behind her, "And if you knew everything he's done, you'd think I'm mental for even considering to take him back."

"You don't know that." Christy replied, "We've all done shit we've regretted afterwards. Who am I to judge either one of you?"

Tara scoffed, and shook her head, as she tried not to let the emotions overwhelm her, "It's just the way Jax grew up, his mom had pretty much planned his whole future out for him. That he'd take over as the leader of the club. But it's all just criminals, outlaws and ... there's just no happy ending in sight for anyone involved in that life."

"But Jax is out now, right? I mean he's here and he chose you over that life." Christy said out loud what Tara had relayed to her several weeks ago, after she'd decided to let him stay.

"So he says. And honestly, he's been so sweet, it's hard not to believe him when he says he's done with Sam Crow, but there's still this lingering doubt about that, because I've heard him say that line one too many times before ... and then there's the fact that he was with someone else."

She sighed in frustration. "But even after all that, he manages to get under my skin so easily. He can be so possessive, and arrogant, but also so gentle and sweet ... he's like an oxymoron, or is it a paradox?" She wondered out loud. "I miss all those different sides of him, even the aggravating ones ... I just miss being with him. I always felt so safe when we were in bed together, like that was the one place where nothing bad could touch us, you know. Like he was all mine, and I was all his."

Tara's eyes welled up with tears again that she quickly swiped away before they could fall. "But then he cheated, and I just don't know what I'm gonna do, if I can't get over that. What am I supposed to do if I can't forgive him?"

Christy scooted closer to Tara and draped her arm around her to comfort her before she spoke her mind, "Of course you will forgive him ... but right now the wound is still too fresh, so you just gotta give it some time. I mean you've missing almost four months while you were in a coma, so it feels like it hasn't been as long ago to you, as it does to him. He was awake through that time you were in the hospital, so he had all that time to think and figure his feelings and his mistakes out. So of course it's going to take you longer to get where he's at. But the main thing is, is that he regrets what he did, and now that we know why he didn't move up here with you, but stayed back in California, it's even more obvious how much he clearly still loves you."

Christy paused for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts before she continued to speak, "You know I wasn't exactly his biggest fan, after that night when he and I picked your drunken drugged-up ass up at that dive bar, because I've never seen you like that ever. But I've gotta admit, he's kinda won me over."

Tara couldn't help herself and scoffed at that, "Yeah, he tends to have that effect on women. It's that unfathomable Teller-Charm. It gets under your skin."

"Oh, is that what it is?" Christy replied sheepishly, and couldn't help but grin over at her friend in obvious amusement, before she added. "Well, and let's not forget about that body though ... I mean, Jesus Christ, you could bounce a quarter off those abs ... and that ass too." She gestured with her hands as if she was squeezing an imaginary butt, which caused Tara and herself to laugh out loud.

They both had a long good chuckle, before Christy continued with her attempt to lift Tara's mood, "Or maybe it's the whole bad boy thing ... Girls go crazy about bad boys, and personally, I blame Marky Mark for that, with his good vibrations and his Calvin Klein ad. At least I'm pretty sure that's when it all started for me." Christy paused as they both let out a chuckle at that.

"Back then he had that bad boy reputation, you know, and I swear those pictures where he grabs his dick ... that was like the closest thing to porn every teenage girl all over the world could get their hands on, yours truly included. I must've spend countless hours just staring at that ad drooling at the mouth. Hormones raging. And you know, now he's like happily married, got a couple of kids ... he's downright domesticated, just like Jax."

It had definitely worked, the smile on her face, and laughter from Tara was proof that Christy and her smart mouth were still the best cure for a moody day like today.

X

Tara was pushing Thomas on the swings when she saw both Jason and Jax walk towards the playground. She raised her hand in a casual wave, and Jax shot her a sweet smile from across the park.

"Hi babe." He said when he came up next to her, draped his arm around her and leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips. His eyes drifted over to Christy who nodded at him in greeting, before she returned her attention back to her own man. They stood just a few feet away, watching Abel come down the slide.

"Can I talk to you for a sec, babe?" Jax said, not wanting to wait another minute, but confront her right away about what Jason had revealed to him.

"Of course." Tara quickly replied, assuming he might've heard back from Maureen. She called over to Christy, "Can you keep pushing him for a minute?"

"Sure." Christy answered and walked over to take Tara's place by the swings.

Jax took Tara's hand and they walked a little ways to a nearby tree. Tara's back was turned towards the tree, and Jax placed a hand against the broad trunk right beside her, bracing himself right in front of her. He looked down at her for a long moment, when he reached for her hand again.

"Is everything okay?" Tara asked first, because she couldn't stand the tension in the air another second longer.

"Why didn't you tell me that John works at the hospital with you?" Jax suddenly blurted out. He wasn't happy that he'd found out about that from Jason instead of her, but he tried his best to keep his voice level and not let it show on his face just how much it bothered him.

Tara looked surprised for a moment, but quickly gathered her wits, and realized that Jason must've spilled the beans, "I didn't think it mattered. It's not like I actually work with him very often. And honestly, he's still kinda ticked off that I broke things off with him, so ... you really have nothing to worry about, baby, I swear."

At that Jax raised his eyebrows in surprise himself, "You'd said he got mad after you told him about our make-out session and you broke up ... you never told me that you're the one who broke things off."

Tara averted her eyes for a moment, her lips pursed, trying not to smile, before she looked back up at him, "Because your ego was already inflated enough, Teller. I thought you might burst if you knew I dumped him for you." She could no longer hold back the smile now, and neither could Jax.

He smiled and leaned down, kissing her possessively and deliberately pushed her back against the tree trunk behind her, when his hand left hers and grabbed onto her hip instead, trapping her in place. Claiming her as his!

Tara reached up with her hands, gripping the fabric of his hoody, feeling weak in the knees from the kiss, before she pulled back for a second and looked up at him, "I promise, Jax. You've got nothing to worry about what John is concerned. He's out of the picture."

"Alright." He nodded to reassure her that he understood ... clearly surprising her and surprised himself at the way he'd handled the situation. He didn't let his anger show, and instead asked her flat out what he'd wanted to know, and it was resolved without a fight or more tears from her.

Maybe they'd get the hang of this after all, if they only continued to act like the adults that they were, he thought before he leaned in once more for yet another kiss.

X

Author's Note: I've spend day and night to get this chapter posted asap, so I hope you can take a moment to leave me a comment or a review. It's so motivating to hear from my readers, I really appreciate it so much. Thanks, xoxo