A woman behind the desk buzzes them in. Kate vaguely hears somebody mention something about the number twenty-one.

The corridor is long and cold; flanked by curtains every ten feet or so. Some closed with light spilling from behind, some pulled back; the spaces empty and dark. She notices large white placards with bold black digits above each cubicle.

She's at number ten when she figures it out.

Kate scans ahead; finds it just passed the bustling nurses' station to the right – the two and the one blurred through her teary eyes. It has a curtain; drawn just like many of the others, but it's also behind glass – floor to ceiling. Dim light casts elongated shadows across the pale linoleum below.

A wave of nausea hits her as she approaches; she barely manages to swallow down the bile that threatens at the back of her throat. She can't even speak when the glass door silently slides open. A man, too young to be a Doctor she thinks; turns away, walks in the other direction.

"Do you…"

"No!" She manages a hoarse bark at the Social Worker then closes her eyes to stop the spinning, takes in a quick breath. She knows the woman is just doing her job. Kate has done the same too many times; offering to stay… But Kate doesn't need that, doesn't want that. "I'm sorry. I'll be fine. Thank you."

The woman softens; smiles at her in understanding. Maybe in sympathy too, then leaves her to it.

Kate crosses the threshold. The room is dark, but not so dark that Kate can't see.

Elena is on her back, in nothing but her diaper, arms out to her sides. She has her eyes closed, her bow-shaped lips slightly open as she sleeps. She looks so peaceful. Not unlike so many nights when Kate gets home late, sneaks into that beautiful fairytale nursery to say a silent goodnight to her precious daughters.

But this is different. This isn't home. Elena isn't safe in her crib.

Instead, she's on a long gurney style bed with its expanse of white sheet making her look so tiny. One little arm wrapped in gauze and green medical tape, a clear tube extends past her chubby fist, hangs there waiting. She's pale; sallow even. With no hint of her normal creamy complexion - the olive undertones like Kate's own. Grey circles under her eyes accentuated by her long dark lashes.

"Castle?" Kate calls out for him on a sob.

His head snaps up from where it had been hanging in his hands. He stumbles up from the plastic chair. It scrapes along the floor with a harsh screech. He's at her back the instant she reaches the bed. His hands working at the railing of the gurney, trying to lower it so she can get to her baby; the hard metal digging into her hipbones as she leans over it. Finally it descends. Kate's body drops to the bed, elbows jarring into the firm mattress.

Her hands hover; fingers flex then fist.

She doesn't know if she can touch? Where?

"Just asleep, Kate."

Castle's shaky hands are on her hips tugging her up, encouraging her to sit. His voice is rough yet still somehow weak.

"She's sleeping it off. Woke up briefly after…"

He doesn't finish that sentence, just scoops Elena up; she doesn't stir. Kate notices, finally, that the baby isn't hooked to any machines, there are no IV's attached to the tube in her hand.

She's just here.

Asleep.

Alive.

Her husband gently places their daughter in her arms. Not for the first time, and thank God, not for the last.

"She didn't even make a peep when they drew blood, slept right through the EEG. So brave; our little girl. Just like her Mommy."


Elena stirs in Kate's arms.

Her eyes, still cloudy, blink slowly a couple of times as she tries to focus; fights with heavy lids that want to close right back up. She must finally get a glimpse of Kate, because her bottom lip puffs out, quivers, and then his baby cries. Soft, low-pitched sobs. Nothing he's ever heard from her before - from her twin sister maybe, but not Elena; not his always-happy little baby girl.

It breaks his heart.

Even though Dr. Glazier just told them Elena's EEG is normal, that she doesn't show signs of having experienced any more than the one seizure, that with Kate's family history this will most likely prove to be a onetime thing, that seizures are common enough in infants anyway, and that they can take her home as soon as she wakes up; maybe eats a little.

With all of that, he's still heartbroken. That she had to suffer through even one.

Castle watches his daughter closely. His stomach twisted in knots at the memories; at the fear that it may happen again.

Elena reaches up for Kate, who cuddles her closer, kisses her forehead and her cheeks and even her lips. His daughter cries into his wife's neck, fists her dimpled fingers into a swath of Kate's hair. She's a little uncoordinated; sluggish even, but the doctor said that's normal. That she's going to be lethargic and cranky and maybe a little sore for a couple of days, but she's okay.

Yeah, there goes his heart again.

"Shhh Baby Girl, Momma's here," he hears Kate whisper in Elena's ear, "you hungry?"

Elena snuffles against Kate's clavicle, sucks loudly on that sharp angle of bone he knows so well; her way of pacifying herself while her mother gets situated, scoots back on the bed, unbuttons her blazer and blouse one-handed.

Elena struggles with it; over-stimulated, over-tired. She roots around like she did when she was a newborn still relying more on smell than on sight to find Kate's breast. But she finally latches on, hums in contentment, sucks greedily for a few seconds, then slows to a normal pace; maybe even slower as her eyes fall shut again.

It floors him every time. The bond Kate shares with Elena and Erin. The way she just has to show up and all is right with their world.

It even makes him jealous sometimes. The way they reach for her whenever she comes into a room. The way their faces shine with it; the love they have for Mommy.

But right now, after today, it mostly makes him feel completely impotent.


I am terrible at updating. Why you guys put up with me, I don't know…?

I am also terrible at responding to reviews, but I do appreciate them all. Thank you.

I do try to answer any questions thrown my way, but I had a couple asked by 'Guests' after the last chapter, and I don't know any other way to respond.

Davis: June 24th

Cantrose: Vague TMYFML reference: Alexis' Appendicitis – Two Hearts reference: Kate also having seizures; kind of expounded on in this chapter.