White Rose

I am SO sorry, you guys! It took me forever to write this chapter and I am sooo sorry for making you all wait. I hope you accept my humble apology. I will even fall to my knees and kiss your feet if you won't abandon me because of this. D:

But I have to say that I've been loaded with tons of work from my university. Luckily my semester is over and I'm more or less (rather less I'd say) enjoying my break. I still have loads of work to do, but now I'm not under such time pressure as I used to be not too long ago. There is a 3D contest which is organized by my university which I am currently participating. Or at least I want to participate. Deadline is the 26th of February and I kinda have to start from scratch and design a whole scenery in a rather short period of time... Don't ask how I've gotten myself into this, but I can't chicken out since I will need the 3D models for my Bachelor thesis. Yup, I'm sooooo smart. Sarcasm

However I'm not thinking about letting you guys wait for nothing. I'll do my 3D work and I'll continue writing, so please don't worry if I'm late with updating. This project will not be abandoned. I'll stop it here an let you read already ^^°

My thank you goes to the people who reviewed since I updated last time: Melissadoll, marc, Dream weaver's victim, katarauchiha653719, SpikeKitten, darkheart1992, enapets21, Animestar001 and Sandra1920499

Another thank you goes to Ulquiorra-Schiffer-4, ShadowShinobi18, WritersLove, kit1029, Dream weaver's victim, lunatrick and edwardlover2010 for faving this.

The last thank you goes to WritersLove, Dream weaver's victim, KaelynMarie, lunatrick, assira and UnForGettable323 for alerting.

Rates and especially reviews are highly welcome and keep me motivated to develop this story, don't forget that you don't need an account to do so

Last but not least: Have fun

I do not own Naruto

Story

Author's commentary/Yelling

Thoughts/Dreams/Memories


Doubts

"Everything alright?", Enma seemed concerned, "You look lost... "

Gaara slowly shook his head: "Not me but a very precious item. You see, I know of this pendant you were talking about. I had one myself, able to track her... "

"Had?", a pulse of blood ran through the monkey's body, heartbeat quickening, "Did it shatter?!"

"I don't know. I must have lost it at the time I had been abducted since I can't find it in place... But I do hope that she is still fine... "

Enma took a deep breath: "I'm afraid I'm not much of a help at the moment. There is no way for me to find her unless she summons one of my kind... ", he scoffed, "I doubt she will be given the mere opportunity to do anything... "

The Kazekage massaged the root of his nose, he could feel a headache coming. Too much had happened in such a short time. He needed some rest and he needed it badly: "Enma, I can't tell you what to do. You are a free being. I believe you are able to decide for yourself whether you want to help me or not. But there is one thing I will ask of you... ", he straightened up, looking at the monkey, "Will you please keep me informed about anything that happens in this matter?"

Enma's lips formed a soft smile before he nodded: "How could I not?", he walked to Gaara, looking him straight in the eyes, "I know that this is the place she wants to be... Also I am convinced that this is the place where she belongs to... As her companion I make it my duty to help her in any way possible... "

"Thank you... "

The monkey bowed his head slightly: "I will be leaving now."

Gaara nodded before Enma disappeared in a puff of smoke. Now he was all alone. Solitude... Such a well known feeling to him... As a child he had been alone so much. After meeting Naruto the relationship to his siblings had become better. He had also found a blonde knucklehead to call his friend, but it still felt somewhat lonely. Later on he had found a friend in Bara, exchanging letters with her, sharing his thoughts. The loneliness became less, but even after becoming Kazekage it hadn't disappeared completely. Whenever he came home he would find nothing but cold walls waiting for him. Not that it had bothered him. Not at all. It was something he had been used to for quite a while. But now...

He hated it! He hated it because he knew how warm and comforting his own home could be. Gaara took a deep breath, silently walking to the bed Bara had been using for the past few days. It was cold, abandoned some hours ago. He sat down, the cold invading his body. If he had never known that warmth, he would have never missed it, right? If she had never entered his home, the feeling he had now would have never existed...

His muscles relaxed slowly. His body moved to lay down. He was tired. Oh how he despised the feeling of solitude now. If he had just never let her near him... But he knew that leaving her unprotected had been no option. She had been his friend and he had made a promise to himself. He had promised himself to protect his friends and the people he cared about. He had vowed to protect the village and it's inhabitants. So how could he have left her to her own, miserable destiny? Who knows what would have happened to her if he hadn't taken care of her. Just thinking about the possibilities made his chest ache. Sometimes it seemed as if she'd attract a lot of trouble. Just thinking about Okku made his blood boil. No, he could have never left her unprotected...

Gaara closed his eyes, taking a deep breath of air. Her scent was still lingering on the pillow. The smell of sweet flowers. Somehow it smelled like home. It wasn't like she had changed things in his apartment, no. The furniture was in place. His things remained mostly untouched. She hadn't even dared to buy herself anything but the most necessary items. She had stored her belongings in her backpack even after he had made some room in his closet for her. She had said something about not wanting to invade his privacy any further than she already had. Not much had changed in his apartment. It seemed tidier. The kitchen got used more often, but that was it. Well, not exactly. It had become warmer. Whenever he came home there was someone waiting for him. Someone to ask him what he wanted to eat. Someone who would do anything he would ask of...

'Whatever you want and I can give you, you can have it! That's a lifetime promise!... ', her words were echoing through his mind, lingering there even after more than a year. It was a promise Bara had yet to keep, especially since he had found something that she had and he wanted. Unfortunately there was no way to ask her of anything unless she was present. Gaara opened his eyes again. He felt very tired, but sleep had yet to become something known to him. He tried blaming the fact that he had never slept in his entire life for his insomnia, but that wasn't the whole truth. His subconsciousness was playing its part in keeping him wake. It was because he would feel guilty for having a pleasant rest while his special person was in danger...


"Temari-san? You are leaving Suna again?", a male spoke to the blonde. He was one of the gate's guards.

She raised her head, looking at the sky. It was dark, stars glittering from the heavens: "Already? It's the middle of night... I'd rather say I'm late... ", she said it more to herself than to the guard.

"But you just came a few days ago. And what about Kazekage-sama? He just came back today. Aren't you going to keep an eye on him after all that happened?", he seemed a bit concerned.

"Gaara is old enough to take care of himself. Besides why do you think he became Kazekage?", she gave him an annoyed look.

"Ah, of course, Temari-san. Have a safe trip then", he bowed. Temari just nodded before she ran away into the ocean of sand she would have to cross. The guard stood there, watching her figure as she was getting smaller and smaller. As she had disappeared out of his sight the sound of a flute reached his ears, 'Sandstorm warning... '...


96 hours. 96 hours had passed. The blonde Kunoichi panted exhausted as her eyes finally touched Konoha's gates. 78 out of 96 hours of thinking about what could be happening to her friends and family while she was gone. She couldn't deny that she was worried about her brothers, Bara and others. In fact she was slowly panicking. It didn't help at all, that Gaara had just died a few days ago. Of course he was revived, but that surely wouldn't happen a second time. All that had happened had opened her eyes to the cost of her lifestyle. She could lose a beloved person at every second without being able to help...

Doubts had invaded everything in her mind while traveling. Was she able to help save her friend? Would she be able to save the people she cared for when it came to it? Was she strong enough?

Even after beating up a pack of bandits that had assaulted her she couldn't help but doubt. Temari had been extremely cruel to those guys, venting some of her bottled up feelings onto them. Usually she wouldn't develop the need to vent since she tended to fight back whatever would be thrown onto her. Armed with her lips and her fan there was hardly a situation she couldn't handle. However... Now that she undeniably knew how easy it was to loose someone, she simply felt weak, vulnerable. It was something she had never been confronted with before. As a child she had been afraid to be killed by her younger, bloodthirsty brother, but that had never mattered much to her. As time passed and her strength grew, as she learned to love her brothers as family she felt strong and safe. She knew that nothing could happen anymore...

And that was the way she kept thinking until a message had reached her eyes. A message saying that her friend was most probably dead. Ever since then her confidence had been left with a crack on it's surface. And it grew as she slowly realized how easy it was to take a human's life. No, not even that. What scared her the most was the fact how easy it was to lose someone that was close to herself. That was something she just couldn't handle. Neither mentally nor physically. She had no clue as to how she could ease her mind of this fear, of her doubts...

Gathering her seemingly unbreakable composure she had settled for doing whatever she could to help her friend while her mind became more and more fragile. Temari had finally reached Konoha, even if delayed by sandstorms and an assault. She was late, but she was there. She looked up to the sky before walking to the guards. Heaven's den was clouded by darkness, not even a single star was shining.

"Temari-san?", the guards had to know her face because was the official Chunin exams commissioner of Sunagakure, "The third part of the exams start just in a few weeks. You're back early."

"I am here on a different matter. I need an appointment with the Hokage as soon as possible."

"It's late and I'm afraid you can't get one before tomorrow, but I can try and look if she is still available. However, you know that we can't let you just wander around the village without an escort... "

"Then get me one!", that sentence had left her lips with a little more rudeness than she had intended to present.

"No need to be rude Temari-san. Konoha and Suna are allies and I don't have any personal issues with you."

"Sorry... I didn't mean it that way... It's just... ", she took a deep breath, trying to calm down, "Nevermind... Just go get me someone. Anybody is fine... "

"It's okay. We can understand that you must be on an edge after all that happened. I'll be on my way to find the Hokage. Somebody will be sent to you and certainly arrive in a few minutes", the guard bowed slightly before disappearing.

Minutes past and nothing happened. Temari began biting her thumb, it was the first sign of her feeling uncomfortable or nervous. A little later she added some walking to her movement. The second guard kept watching her: "Everything fine?"

'NO... Nothing is fine right now... ', she stopped, taking one more breath of fresh air, "Sure... everything fine... I just hope my escort is here soon... "

"Sooner than it could make me happy... ", an annoyed murmur reached her ear. It had been hardly audible, but she had heard it.

"Excuse me?!", her eyes fell upon a certain pineapple headed boy. His face looked surprised for a moment: "Yes, I heard you... ", Temari had answered his question just a second before he could move his lips.

He sighed: "Troublesome woman... "

"I assume that you are my escort, Shikamaru?", she closed her eyes.

"Huh?... ", confusedly he looked at her.

"What?"

There was something different about her, but he couldn't actually put a finger on it: "Nevermind... "

"Are you my escort or not?", her arms were crossed in front of her chest, her eyes gazing to the far lights that resembled the Hokage's tower.

"Yes, I am... "

"Then let's go. I have no time to waste", she walked past him into the village without giving him a second glance.

Now he was sure that something wasn't right. The blond Kunoichi would never miss an opportunity to argue with him about anything. Hell, she even said his actual name! The situation had just become a lot more troublesome than Shikamaru had actually expected. And that in the middle of the night... Sighing he followed the woman.

About half an hour passed before Temari finally met with the Hokage. Shikamaru had observed her until then. He had seen her biting her thumb, restlessly walking from one side to the other on the six square feet she had chosen unconsciously. He kept his eye on her just in case she would lose it. Judging by her actions that could happen any second. He knew that the blonde had a slight hang to aggression. Be it physical or verbal. That was an undeniable part of her character. Luckily just one of many. Temari was most of the time reasonable and he knew how to handle that. But at times like these he kept his shadow ready, just in case...

"You're lucky that I was working overtime tonight, Temari. What brings you here? I presume that it must be something important since you came back faster than I had expected... ", a honey eyed blonde had spoken.

"Indeed, I... We... ", she seemed lost for words, something that neither the Hokage nor Shikamaru had ever seen happen. Temari looked through the room, only finding her escort and the Hokage: "Tsunade-san... I have a personal request from my brother, the Kazekage... "

"Personal request?", the busty woman seemed surprised, "Is that the reason you came here and not a messenger bird?"

"Yes... Gaara wants as less people as possible to know about this. As far as Naruto goes he leaves that decision to you."

"You intrigue me. How exactly is this connected to Naruto?"

"I believe you know that Gaara considers him to be a close friend of his... "

"That is one of the reasons he was sent to aid you in the matter of Akatsuki... "

"There is a second connection between this request and Naruto... Orochimaru is involved... "

The room became completely silent for a few seconds. Why the sudden interest in Orochimaru? Tsunade had thought that that snake bastard would be no issue to Suna ever since he had freed the village from Yondaime's iron grip. Even if it had never been his intention to help the village hidden in the sand. So what was Gaara after? Revenge for his father's murder? Surely not...

"I'm all ears... ", honey eyes fell upon Temari.

"One of Suna's villagers was abducted by some of Orochimaru's lackeys... Since Konoha has great interest in catching Orochimaru we request and offer aid in this matter."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed slightly. She knew that there had to be more to the whole thing: "And why exactly is this one villager so important?"

"That information is classified. All we want is to have her back and safe in Sunagakure."

"Her? We're talking about a female?"

Temari cursed herself inwardly before answering: "Yes. The villager abducted by Orochimaru is a female. What does it matter?"

"Let me get this straight. You come here with a personal request by your brother to save an abducted villager which is female?"

"Yes."

"So this whole thing is about a love interest?"

"Excuse me?!", Temari clenched her fists. She was tensing up unconsciously, ready to explode any second now.

"I'm asking if we are supposed to save his girlfriend or something."

"I believe that is none of your interest... "

Tsunade smirked: "I tend to think that I decide for myself if something is worth my interest... or my time."

"What are you implying?"

"Well, currently I am asking myself if you are wasting my time. Because if this is a rescue mission just for one of your brother's girlfriends, I'm not sure if it is worth the lives of Konoha shinobi. I'm pretty sure that the girl you are talking about is easier to replace than-", the sudden collision of Temari's fist with Tsunade's wooden desk silenced the room. Luckily Shikamaru had reacted quick enough to stop Temari from breaking the desk. His shadow was keeping her in place and he wouldn't let go unless Tsunade said so.

"I'm so freaking tired of hearing people talk bad about such a good person! First she gets accused of being a spy or a traitor and now you are telling me that her life is worth nothing? She saved hundreds of lives, nearly dying in the process! Excuse me, but if Naruto can go after Orochimaru out of pure friendship why can't Gaara go for love?!", she huffed exhausted.

"So it's really true then?", Tsunade smiled, "It seems that boy is coming along rather well... You look surprised, Temari. Did you really think that I wouldn't provide any help? I guess I'm not as bad at acting as Shizune likes to tell me. You can let her go, Shikamaru."

Temari gritted her teeth, 'Such a sneaky old... I'm really not myself lately. How could I fall for such a cheap trick? I need to get this done soon so I can get outta here... ', she knew that she was on the verge of breaking. Her mask could fade any second now and it would take a while to build it up again. There was not an ounce of her that would let anybody see her falling apart: "Don't play jokes on me Tsunade-san. The situation might be much worse than you think. You don't actually believe that Orochimaru just took her for the sake of having a hostage, do you? He's not the type for something like that. I doubt that he has reason to threaten Sunagakure while he seeks to destroy Konoha. He knows that both villages are allies and that one single human life surely wouldn't tip the balance. And just so that you know. Nobody knew what feelings Gaara had for Bara until after she was kidnapped. And when I say nobody, I mean NOBODY... "

"Bara?", Shikamaru had spoken her name unconsciously as both women's eyes moved upon his figure.

Temari: "If you're thinking about our little, white haired friend, your thinking right."

Tsunade: "You know the person she's talking about?"

Shikamaru: "I actually do. She is an acquaintance of Asuma and I dare to say that he is quite fond of her. As far as I know they exchange letters regularly... He might want to know about this... "

Tsunade: "I see... Temari?"

Temari: "Yes?"

Tsunade: "Would it be alright to pass some information about this to Asuma?"

Temari nodded: "I also believe that he might want to know... "

Tsunade: "Something else. What do you think Orochimaru trying to achieve by abducting that girl?"

Temari bit her lip: "I've heard some rumors about him once... They were saying something about experiments on human beings... "

"I can assure you that those rumors are true. He is a reckless scientist, torturing and killing people if it benefits him... I'm afraid that your friend is dead by now... ", Tsunade exhaled, sighing slightly in the process.

"She is alive. We know that her abductors were taking care to leave her unharmed and alive... ", unfortunately that didn't calm her nerves at all. Who knew what she was going through at the moment. Temari knew that there were much worse things than death.

"Many of his victims that actually survived his experiments had wished for their own deaths, so that's not necessarily a good thing to hear... "

"I am aware of that... But she is strong willed. I doubt that she would let anything get to her like that... "

Tsunade eyed the woman in front of her carefully before stealing a short glance towards Shikamaru. She wanted to choose her next words carefully, but that would turn out to be a very hard task: "Temari... Either way we may look at the situation, I'm afraid that we can't do anything about it now... "

"What?! Didn't you just say that you'd provide us with help?", her form had frozen in a rather strange position, like ripped out of motion. Shikamaru had released his shadow earlier on her than last time.

"Team 7 was sent out this morning to find Orochimaru's current hideout. I can't tell how far they have come until now or which route they have taken to their destination. Their current mission is relying strongly on remaining undetected. If another team were to follow them it would be a great threat to their mission. Also we have no way of sending them any messages. My hands are shackled until they come back. However I am sure that they will have as much common sense as to take care of whoever they will find in Orochimaru's lair and is in need of aid. I hope you understand that the current situation is not influenceable... "

Temari's face had turned to stone. Nobody could tell what was going on in her mind. She just stood there, staring into nowhere. It took her a while before she could talk again: "Tsunade-san... I would like to leave... I have no more to say now... "

"I understand. Please try to take a rest and calm down. It's late anyway... Shikamaru, please proceed as her escort. Furthermore it is your task to inform Asuma about this abduction, but keep the conversation private. This matter doesn't concern anybody else. Both of you may leave... ", Tsunade seemed to return to some paperwork she had been attending to before the Suna Kunoichi had entered her office.

Temari, now freed from the shadow's grip, turned around silently and left. Shikamaru followed closely. About five minutes after leaving the blonde raised her voice again: "Bring me to a place people use to spar."

"Wouldn't it be better if you'd check into a hotel and go to sleep?"

Immediately she shot him a glare: "Training ground - NOW... "

Shikamaru didn't dare to utter another word since Temari had yet to calm down. Escorting her was troublesome enough, he surely didn't need her beating him up in addition. NO! He just decided to bring her to wherever she wanted to go. For now...

Soon they had reached a place which seemed suitable for her wishes. It was dark, just enough light to see about two feet ahead. Temari went to one of the big trees that were surrounding the place and readied her fan. A moment of complete silence passed and Shikamaru noticed that she wasn't using her usual battle stance, the fan was closed.

Suddenly a loud crack was heard. It was the sound of breaking wood, forcibly breaking wood. Another crack followed before the first could die away and another one after that. Shikamaru was standing at a safe distance from Temari, watching her slam her iron fan against the tree over and over again. This went on and he tried not to give many thoughts to her actions until he slowly noticed another noise besides of the loud cracks. She seemed to be saying something. He concentrated, trying to figure what she was saying. It didn't take him long to tell that she was swearing and... Did he dare to think it? Sobbing? The strong woman he knew and secretly liked was actually crying? He couldn't believe it at first, but the unmistakeable truth reached his ears again and again...

"FUCK!!!", her fan fell to the ground as she fell to her knees. She was exhausted, she was frustrated, but most of all she was afraid. For the first time in her life she had lost control of something important to her. She was afraid of what might happen now that she couldn't even move the tiniest of gears in the giant machinery called life. She felt of no use and helpless. There was nothing she could do. NOTHING...

"You want to sleep now?", Shikamaru was kneeling next to her.

She had totally forgotten about him. Things just seemed to get worse for Temari. He wasn't supposed to see her weak side, EVER. She wiped away her tears and gave him a smirk before giving him a sarcastic remark: "Now you've got me on toast. Happy?"

"You on toast? That would be too troublesome... I don't even know what you're talking about."

She scoffed: "Yeah, right. Like Mr. genius would have no idea of what's happening right in front of his nose... Don't play me for a sucker! You've just seen something nobody was supposed to know about. You've seen my weakness... "

He looked slightly annoyed: "Man, I was just asking if you want to go to sleep now... ", he stood up, "Besides... ", his face turned away, making his words harder to understand, "It's only human... "

"You're not gonna use this against me? Like for example to shut me up when I annoy you?"

"Can't we just leave? I'm having more than enough lack of sleep now, due to this... "

Temari remained silent, trying her best to calm down while wiping away her last tears. This procedure took her some minutes and by the time she looked back at Shikamaru she saw him offering his hand for help. This was just embarrassing. First she'd loose it in front of him completely, then cry and then accuse him of things he hadn't even done. Her pride was damaged awfully bad, so why not just accept the offer?

Hesitantly, almost shyly she reached for his hand. Their fingers intertwined and soon she was back on her feet. Their bodies were mere inches apart but she couldn't help but feel incredibly far away. He wasn't looking at her. Their hands had yet to part, but somehow she didn't mind it at all.

"Shikamaru?"

"Hm?", he turned to face her.

Her heart skipped a beat. Now she had officially reached ground zero of her pride. Could she dare to say that she felt happy? Especially in the current situation. Could she even allow herself to feel something like happiness then and there? Well, what else could she do? Bitterly she reminded herself of the fact that she was absolutely helpless. But then why care? If there was nothing she could do to help, there was also nothing she could do to make it worse, right? Theoretically she could do whatever she wanted... Especially now that she had no more pride to lose...

"Shikamaru?"

"What?", he looked slightly annoyed. It seemed like he had completely forgotten about his hand and the fact how close Temari was to him. As Temari's lips suddenly touched his he came back to his full senses. A tide of self-consciousness hit him, causing his body to petrify. It seemed like his day (or rather night) was filled with quite a number of things he had never expected to see, hear or feel.

They parted and Temari could feel her heart fluttering from the sweet sin she had allowed herself to have a taste of. It's not like she wasn't allowed to do whatever she wanted, but she knew that this could end in hating herself the very next morning. How could she let herself slip into happiness when so many things in her world were turned upside down? And why couldn't she care less at the moment? So many things were wreaking havoc inside of her head. In the end she decided to let his hand go to go and pick up her fan. It wasn't like he had responded to her actions anyway. Probably her feelings weren't mutual. She couldn't tell. Maybe she'd better apologize and go to sleep. She needed a rest...

"Sorry... ", she mumbled, almost whispering. She tried letting go of his hand, but he wouldn't let her.

A smirk played across his lips: "How about you stop being troublesome for once in your life and let me accept that invitation of yours?", he captured her lips without warning into a longing kiss.

Temari gave in, letting herself fall into that undescribable feeling. For this one moment on that night, she would push all dark thoughts into the unreachable parts of her mind. Just that one moment, just that one night. Or at least for then and there. Maybe even a bit longer. She lost her sense of time and couldn't tell anymore. Bliss. She finally understood what that one word meant. No more thought was consumed by her abducted friend that night...


Yes. I am a ShikaTema shipper as you might have noticed ^^

So this chapter had a lot of Temari's inner demons. All the happenings are affecting quite a number of people not just the obvious ones...


Sneak Preview:

Kabuto: Don't make this harder than it has to be, Aimi...

Aimi: Like I'd just let you poke and prod me like a rat...

Kabuto: You should slowly realize that you can't win this fight...


And PLEASE, PLEASE review my dear readers ^^°