Author's Note: Guys. We made it. We're officially in Avengers starting with this chapter! I cannot believe we made it this far. It's more than a little amazing, and you have no idea how happy I am that we got this far. Thank you so much for the support, and I hope you'll enjoy Mack in the Avengers.
And most importantly of all for this chapter, we all need to stare in amazement at Bohemia's amazing new cover image. It's fantastic. Like seriously. I nearly passed out when I saw it, so let's all thank casanovakk! Because it's literally beyond amazing and perfect and I cannot be grateful enough for that piece of beauty. So everyone say thanks for that wonderful cover image!
As always, I don't own anything Avengers or Marvel related, just Mack and Arizona. I'm more proud to own Arizona though, because Arizona is the best ever. Please leave a review on the way out, shit's going to start hitting the fan over the next few chapters, and I think we're all excited about that.
Oh, and also, there's a rather important note at the end of the chapter, so please check it out.
Bohemia
In her three years at SHIELD, Mackenzie Donahue has run into some strange things. Weird hammers, egocentric billionaires, and of course her archer SO. Somehow, a gentleman soldier out of his time turns out to be the best of it all. Steve/OC
Chapter 29 – Hold My Hand
May 1, 2011
In hindsight, the first of May was the beginning of the end for a lot of things.
The last days of April had been a process of healing and getting to know each other better for Steve and Mack. He had ended up staying at her apartment those few days, and the plan for their first official date had been planned for the first of May, a normal walk around Central Park and then dinner at the diner. It was so blissfully normally that Mack was rather proud of them.
What probably wasn't normal was that Steve had ended up in her room after the first night, after a nightmare had brought Mack out of her bed and onto the floor, breaking the lamp on her bedside table. It had taken nearly a half an hour for Steve to be able to calm her down, and when Mack had woken up the next morning, she had been surprised to find Steve on the other side of the bed, still fast asleep.
When Steve had suffered from another nightmare the night after that, which had nearly resulted in putting a hole in the wall, he had ended up in her room again. Mack had woken up with his arm over her stomach, and the agent had realized then that she was once again doomed when it came to Steve Rogers.
She had noticed even then that they had been making different gestures for each other, that there was a new element between them. Steve was a polite gentleman as always, but he'd refuse to let her pay for breakfast two days ago, despite it nearly causing a fight between them. Something had changed, and Mack was finding that she didn't mind it too much.
Of course, it all went wrong on the morning of the first.
The morning itself had started out as normal as could be assumed. Steve had joined Mack on her usual morning run, this time leaving Arizona at home so they could both test themselves as much as possible. Mack had made it twelve blocks at Steve's pace before she had been forced to stop and breathe, though she found it amusing that Steve had been barely winded at the length.
More than an hour later, though, as she made her way into the kitchen after she had showered, Mack recognized the look on Steve's face. It was pensive, reflective, and Mack remembered then hearing a sound during the night, almost a bump. She had woken up for an instant, but had been asleep the next minute when she realized Steve was still in bed.
It took Mack a few minutes to figure out a way to bring the topic up. Steve still had his apartment, but they had just been spending the last few days together, before they threw themselves back into the HYDRA investigation. That had resulted in Mack seeing Steve shirtless twice, him going through two boxes of cereal, and him nearly catching sight of her naked once.
"You had a nightmare last night," Mack said, watching as Steve's shoulders tensed instantly. She took a sip of her mug of French vanilla coffee, just watching him as he stared down into the cereal bowl.
"I don't want to talk about it," Steve replied, not looking at her. Arizona nudged Steve's leg, and the soldier shot a look down at the dug. Arizona whined before sitting down.
"Shutting out," Mack hummed, raising her mug for a second. Steve shot her a glare that was only half mocking, and she raised an eyebrow. She only took a sip of her coffee as she waited.
Steve sighed, scowling as he realized that Mack was right. He shook his head before dropping the spoon into the bowl. "I think facing HYDRA again triggered the nightmares," he admitted. "I'm just praying that the nightmares don't trigger another flashback."
Mack nodded slowly. "Nothing I can do to help?" she asked, trying to think of something, anything that she could do.
Her hope fell apart when Steve shook his head, though he shot her a grateful, gentle smile. "I need to work through it on my own. I appreciate it though, Mack."
"Anytime, babe," Mack replied, smirking as the tips of Steve's ears went pink.
She had been calling Steve babe once in a while over the last few days, deciding from his embarrassed reaction that it was definitely going to be her pet name for him. She was almost excited to find out what he would figure out for her. Actually, she was more than a little excited to find out what it would be.
Mack frowned as her phone started to vibrate on the kitchen counter. She glanced over at Steve. A soft smile had crossed the soldier's face, and she was aware of him watching her as she crossed the kitchen to grab her phone. Her phone slid across the screen to open it, and Mack held the phone to her ear, her other hand keeping a steady hold of her coffee cup.
"Hello?" she greeted, frowning slightly when she realized she hadn't recognized the number on the screen.
"Kenzie, it's Natasha." Natasha's next words froze Mack's blood and nearly stopped her heart. "Barton's been compromised."
The mug slipped out of Mack's hand a second later, though it didn't break as it hit the counter. The coffee did spill on the counter and onto the floor. Steve stood sharply from the breakfast island, eyes wide in surprise. Arizona bolted into the bedroom. Mack's head spun for a few seconds, and she just stared blankly ahead as she tried to process what she had just heard.
It took a few seconds for Mack to regain the ability to speak. Or rather, it took a few long seconds for Mack to repeat the words to herself in her head: Barton's been compromised. Barton's been compromised.
Clint.
"How?" she demanded when the three words did register in her head. Steve had stepped over, eyes narrowed in concern, but Mack didn't pay attention to him, not even as Steve's hand reached her free one, squeezing it tightly. "Natasha, what happened?"
Barton's been compromised.
Memories came back to hit her all at once. Mack remembered hard lessons and painful bruises and brutal honesty, but there were also proud grins and inside jokes and the unforgettable feeling of belonging and knowing that Clint Barton had her back every step of the way, and that she would have his.
She hadn't had his back this time.
Barton was in trouble. Barton had been compromised. If Mack had to have bet on who of the three of them would have been compromised, it would have been herself to be honest. Never Clint, never solid, reliable Clint who had kept Mack smart and relatively sane during training, who had taught her almost everything she knew about being an agent.
Barton's been compromised. Her training went into play right then, her eyes narrowed and darkened, and her posture went tense. She was not going to freak out. The man who had faith in her and trained her has been compromised, which meant it was time for her to stop being Mack and start being Agent Donahue of SHIELD.
"What happened?" she demanded again, her voice steadier now. "Is he still alive?"
Clint could not be dead. She didn't know what she was going to do if Clint was dead, but she had a feeling her emotional state was one more bit of bad news away from completely going psycho. Her capture by HYDRA alone had shattered some of the growth she had gotten through since Australia, and she was still recovering from the fact that she had been almost brainwashed, let alone the fact that she and Steve had been officially together for less than a week.
"He's been turned." Some small part of Mack had hoped that compromised this time meant captured. Captured was easy to deal with. She and Natasha would go in, guns blazing, and pull his ass out.
Turned is even worse. That meant there was every chance that she and Natasha would have to fight Clint. Mack knew she could do it, but knew it would kill her to do so. Natasha continued, "It was only last night. We need you to come in. You'll be leaving tomorrow morning from the field with Coulson."
"Got it. I'll be there." Mack finally looked over at Steve, whose face had gone serious as soon as he had heard the tone in Mack's voice.
"I have to pick someone up." There was a nervous edge to Natasha's voice that Mack had very rarely heard before, and Mack knew instantly not to go into it further. "I'll see you there. Get to the office and get everything. And I mean everything, Mack."
"Understood, Tasha." Mack paused, making a split second decision before she lost the contact with Natasha. "You okay?"
"Fine. Just get in here. I'll see you soon." Natasha hung up the phone a moment later, and Mack ran a hand through her hair as she slipped the phone back into her pocket.
"Something's wrong," Steve said, frowning as he watched her. It wasn't a question. He could tell from the way she was standing, the look on her face, the fear in her hazel eyes, that something was wrong beyond belief. Her thumb stroked her hand, and she squeezed it once, taking comfort in the contact.
Mack nodded, feeling as though she was half in a daze. "Clint's in trouble." It was at that repetition that it finally hit her head on that Clint was in trouble, that his life and mind were in danger right now, and that she and Natasha were going to do what they had to if it got him back. "I got called in."
Steve nodded, and she sighed in relief that he understood. He leaned down with a towel, wiping up the coffee as Mack slipped the mug into the sink. "Do you to do anything?" Steve asked her. She felt a comforting hand on her back, and sighed.
"Take care of Arizona," she replied, shaking her head before leaving the kitchen, heading back into her bedroom. Steve followed her, leaning against the door frame as she started to pack – a few articles of clothes, her phone charger, and various knives. "This could be awhile. And it could get ugly."
"There's nothing else I can do to help you?" Steve asked her, unable to notice the echo from only a few minutes earlier.
Mack glanced over at him, sighing before slipping a knife into the black bag on her bed. "I wish there was," she murmured, closing her eyes before slipping a few pieces of clothes in her bag. Mack would love for Steve to be on her with this, but she knew it just wasn't possible.
Mack shook her head before rubbing Arizona's back; the dog was watching them both from his spot on the bed's pillows. "I'll keep you updated as much as I can," she swore, shooting a look at Steve.
Steve nodded, watching as she slipped past him, heading towards the door. She slipped her leather jacket over her shoulders, going through a checklist in her head. Depending on how bad this situation was, it might be the last time for a while she was in her apartment. She had to be sure that she had everything ready to go. This might be the last time she saw Steve in a long while.
Mack glanced over at Steve, and sighed at the look on his face. "I'll be okay," she promised him, shooting him a brave smile. "I promise."
Steve nodded, and Mack was surprised when he stepped forward and kissed her forehand. "Keep me updated," he said, shooting her what she knew was a smile coated with fake calm. He squeezed her hand again, and Mack gave a soft smile. "Stay safe."
Mack ignored the backflips her stomach was performing. "You know it, babe. I'll be back in a few days. I'll call you later." She shot him one last smile before walking out of the apartment.
Mack didn't see the worry flash through Steve's blue eyes, and Steve didn't see the genuine fear that flashed through Mack's green ones.
It was late evening by the time that Mack was sure she had finished.
It took her a surprising amount of time to strip the office bare of weapons, let alone go through three more thorough checks of the room to be sure. Mack stood in the middle of the office, scowling as she looked around. Two large black bags sat on her desk, already filled with weapons, and Mack wasn't convinced that she had gotten them all yet.
She honestly had no idea of knowing. Clint and Natasha had gathered an insane collection of weaponry long before Mack had joined SHIELD, and she had ended up with a huge knife collection mostly due to Natasha encouraging her habit. Mack was sure that she had gotten both of Clint's bows from the rooms.
Mack gave a groan of annoyance, forcing herself to take several deep breathes when she realized she could remember Clint mentioned hiding grenades somewhere in the room. Freaking out now was not going to do anything, not while Clint was in the danger that he was. She had to stay calm, because every second was one more that Natasha was in danger.
Mack shook her head before pulling out her phone, holding it to her ear as she waited.
"Mack, what is it?" Natasha's voice came through. It sounded grainy, and Mack realized that Natasha was both on a plane and had probably put the phone on speaker. She was probably piloting a jet, actually, on her way to the Helicarrier already.
"Hey, Tasha. Grenades. Where did Barton put them?" Mack asked, frowning as she looked around the office.
"What grenades?" Natasha sounded genuinely confused for a moment, and Mack wondered where Clint could have possibly hidden a few grenades. She was going to have to yell at him when they broke him out of whatever he had gotten into.
Mack rubbed her temples as a migraine pounded a beat into her skull. "Barton mentioned he had grenades in here. Smoke and regular ones. Where are they?"
"Oh, those ones," Natasha replied. Mack realized right then that she and Natasha were discussing where they had misplaced grenades in the same manner that they would discuss misplacing a bottle of nail polish. "Bottom right drawer of your desk. The key to that drawer's under Barton's damned cactus."
Mack paused, frowning at the phone for a second. "Why are the grenades in my desk?" she asked slowly, raising an eyebrow before grabbing the key from underneath Clint's hideous cactus that both she and Natasha hated more than anything.
She wasn't even upset or surprised that they had hidden the grenades in her desk. Mack rarely used her desk anyway. She was more curious than anything and that alone was enough for Mack to realize how screwed up she might have become since she had joined SHIELD.
"Because we didn't have anywhere else to put them," was Natasha's calm and, if Mack dared to say it, amused reply.
"So you put the grenades in the bottom of my desk?" repeated Mack.
"We did."
Mack nodded slowly. "Any other weapons that I'm forgetting about? Because I went through this entire office three times, Tasha, and I think that the grenades were the last thing I needed to get."
"You have Clint's older bow?"
"It was the first thing I picked up in the office."
"My extra pistols?"
"All four of them."
"Your knives."
"Of course. I'd never forget my knives."
"I think you have everything then." Natasha gave a light chuckle, and Mack rolled her eyes, smirking slightly. "You and Coulson leave at nine tomorrow morning."
"I'll see you then," Mack replied, pulling the last bag onto the desk. She'd sleep in the office tonight so she could get out to the airfield as soon as possible. She didn't want to see Steve tonight, because she needed to be calm. If she saw Steve, Mack knew she would break down. "You picked up who you needed to?"
There was a pause long enough that Mack was convinced the call had been dropped for a few minutes. "Yep. Doctor Banner will be joining us."
Mack nearly dropped the phone, raising an eyebrow. "Back up a minute. Doctor Banner?" she repeated, raising an eyebrow. If Fury had sent Natasha to collect Bruce Banner, this situation was a thousand times worse than she had expected. "What the fuck is going on, Natasha, because no one is explaining to me and it's really starting to piss me off."
"Coulson's going to explain to you as soon as you get to the jet," Natasha explained, her voice surprisingly patient at the moment. "Mack, Clint's in a lot of danger right now."
Mack went silent instantly, her eyes slipping shut as her hand clenched into a fist. They had to get Clint out of there. Clint had been there for her a thousand times before. It was her turn to pull him out of the fire. "We're getting him back," she said finally, her hand clenching into a fist.
"You know it. I'll see you tomorrow. Don't forget the guns under the couch."
Mack scowled before glancing at the couch. "I knew you two were hiding some under there."
"Just bring them, Kenzie. I'll see you soon."
Natasha hung up the phone a moment later, and Mack shook her head, closing her eyes as tears threatened her at the edges. She plugged her phone into the wall, grabbed the blanket from the chest along the wall, and settled herself on the couch. Mack tried to sleep, somehow well aware that the next few days were going to be incredibly difficult.
Sleep evaded her as three words repeated themselves, over and over in her head, as she tried to remember the last thing she had said to the man who had turned her into who she was today.
Barton's been compromised.
Mack knew that those three words would haunt her for the rest of her life.
It was nearly midnight when Steve found himself in the boxing ring of SHIELD, launching himself at the punching bag as he tried to force out his frustrations. The punches blurred together until he lost count, and Steve lost track of the world around him as well – the dim lights, the empty space, Arizona lying on the floor a bit away.
The nightmares over the last few nights had been brutal. Going into that HYDRA hole to pull Mack out had caused a lot of stress, and had brought back memories Steve wasn't sure he was ready to face again. It had formed a perfect trigger for nightmares, and with Mack now back on duty, Steve had awoken in the middle of a flashback only two hours earlier.
Steve pretended not to notice that his first flashback in weeks had occurred the very night that Mack had left, but he didn't pretend that he would be able to get back to sleep that night. He had instead grabbed Arizona and had gone down to the gym, knowing that Arizona was better company than being alone at the moment.
The super soldier had been adjusting surprisingly well over the last few months. That wasn't to say that he had completely adjusted. He wasn't sure that he would ever be able to adjust to what had been lost along the way. His friends, his world, and in so many ways, his hope. Adding that to the fact that one of the few things he had in this time was off to fight for one of her loved ones made it almost worse, since Steve wasn't aware of anything he could do to help Mack.
And now, everything was overloading him again. His nightmares of the past, his guilt from the war, his worry for Mack, and the stress from his flashbacks finally formed together into one strong punch that launched the bag clear across the room, slamming into the far wall just as the beginnings of a flashback finished. Sand spilled onto the floor as Steve forced himself back into the present.
Steve stood for a few moments, staring in surprise at it, breathing heavily. The super soldier shot a look at Arizona as the dog barked, and only shook his head. Steve kept silent as he went to the pile of bags next to him, hanging the next one up and going back at it.
It was something to do at least.
"Trouble sleeping?"
He only looked over once at Director Fury, having recognized the voice almost instantly. "I slept for seventy years, sir," Steve replied, going back to the punching bag. Two punches went out, and the last one stuck against the bag as he breathed. "I've kind of had my fill."
Fury walked forward, raising an eyebrow as Arizona's tail started to wag. "Then you should be out, celebrating, seeing the world." The large dog stood from the floor, going to Fury's side. The Director didn't look down at Arizona, instead scratching the dog's head as he watched Steve.
Steve shook his head before leaving the punching bag, going to the bag resting on the bleachers nearby. Arizona followed the two. "When I went under, the world was at war. When I wake up, they say we won." Steve shook his head as he unwrapped his hands, putting the wrap back in the bag. "They didn't say what we lost."
"We've made some mistakes along the way." Steve only noticed then that Fury was holding a folder, one with SHIELD's symbol on it and looking very official. "Some, very recently."
"Are you here with a mission sir?" Steve asked after a beat.
"I am."
Steve gave a small sigh. "Trying to get me back in the world?"
"I think you've been doing a good job of that yourself." Fury was just watching him with a knowing spark in his eye, and Steve was reminded of Mack mentioning that Fury would probably be well aware of the change in their dynamics. This was pretty much just the confirmation of it. "But this time… we're trying to save it."
Fury held out the folder, and Steve looked at it for only a second before he took it. He sat down on the bleachers the moment he opened the folder and a familiar picture screamed out at him. A small, blue cube sat in the middle of the picture – and it was a cube that Steve knew far too well.
"HYDRA's secret weapon." He would have known that cube from anywhere. The word Tesseract blazed out from the page as he stared down at it, and for a few moments, Steve was sure he was back in 1945.
"Howard Stark fished that out of the ocean when he was looking for you." Steve looked up sharply, trying to read Fury with limited results as the man continued, "He thought what we think. The Tesseract could be the key to unlimited sustainable energy. That's something the world sorely needs."
"Who took it from you?" Steve asked, closing the folder and handing it back to Fury. Arizona moved to his side, nudging Steve's knee. Steve absentmindedly rubbed the dog's head.
"He's called Loki. He's not from around here." The look on Fury's face told Steve that the statement was a bit of an understatement. "There's a lot we'll have to bring you up to speed on if you're in. The world has gotten even stranger than you already know."
Steve gave a disbelieving chuckle as he stood, slipping Arizona's leash on him. "At this point, I doubt anything would surprise me."
"Ten bucks says you're wrong," Fury replied, glancing down at Arizona as the dog followed Steve. Steve grabbed his bag and Arizona's leash in one hand, pulling up a bag and hoisting it onto his shoulder a second later.
"There's a debriefing packet waiting for you at Agent Donahue's apartment." Steve turned for a moment, staring at Fury in bemusement as the Director merely nodded at Arizona, who stood next to Steve, wagging his tail all the while. "Agent Donahue has already been called in."
Steve frowned at the mention of Mack. He somehow wasn't surprised about this part. Steve knew that it was a blatant attempt at manipulation from Fury, but at the same time, Steve knew he couldn't ignore it. He had seen the fear in Mack's eyes after that phone call from Agent Romanoff. Even Arizona seemed to sense the tension that had come when Fury had mentioned Mack, judging from the dog's small whine.
Fury glanced down at Arizona before continuing, "Loki has taken control of several agents. We believe it's some form of brainwashing. One of the agents he's taken is Clint Barton."
Steve paused at that, his eyes sharpening and going colder as he watched Fury carefully. Mack had said that Clint had been in trouble, but Steve hadn't been aware that it had been that bad. There was every chance that Mack might end up fighting against Clint if he was being controlled by something, and Steve knew that it was going to crush her if she had to. He sighed.
Fury had noticed his reaction. "You've heard of him. I believe you talked to him over the phone once. Agent Barton was the one who recruited and trained Agent Donahue. They're close. She'll be involved in this." He paused. "She's also been assigned to this incident."
Steve was silent for a few minutes. "Where do I need to be, and when?" he finally asked, shaking his head as he realized that he had made his choice the moment Fury had walked in the door. He glanced down at Arizona, and wondered how much trouble he had just walked into.
"Nine o'clock at the airfield. We'll send a car to Agent Donahue's apartment to get you there."
Steve nodded. He would have to stop at his own apartment and take a bag, grab his shield from Mack's apartment, and figure out who would take care of Arizona with him gone as well. He had a lot to do in the next few hours, and he was already listing them by the time he had started out of the gym, Arizona right next to him.
"Is there anything you can tell us about the Tesseract that we ought to know now?" Fury asked the solder as he started to leave.
Steve didn't look back. "You should have left it in the ocean."
Author's Note: WELCOME TO AVENGERS. We made it, guys, we actually made it. I'm in just as much amazement as you are. It's going to be a fun few chapters, and I think you'll all enjoy what happens in Germany. Next chapter, Mack meets a certain scientist with anger management issues, has a talk with Coulson, and reunites with an assassin. :D
As another note though, my health has taken a few pretty drastic turns for the worse, and it's not getting better. Doctors are still trying to figure out what it is, but it has the potential to get rather serious.
So while I do give dates as to when I hope to post, if I don't post on those days, it's not because I want to tease you or disappoint you all. It's because I'm probably physically in bed barely able to concentrate without being in pain, because I don't plan those things. I hate to be defensive, but after a review I received today, I felt as though I needed to explain myself a bit.
Just saying. I love this story to death, and I love you all, but my physical health does have to come first.
So, I won't give a date for this update, so it'll show up. Eventually. Hopefully. Thanks as always, please review on the way out.
And since this will probably be the last update until the end of the week… happy holidays! :D
Chapter 30 – All Come Together
"I came ready for a war, Coulson," she replied, shooting him a look as she struggled to fit the last grenade into the bag. "And I'm prepared to fight one if it means getting Clint back."
