572 reviews. O.o THANK YOU! I appreciate every single one of them so don't think your review goes unnoticed. Sometimes, when I'm out of ideas/motivation, I just go back and read reviews to help me out (you guys have good ideas, you know).

Anyway -

Chapter 29

He remembered what home looked like – a giant mansion that overlooked the Pacific Ocean, the house run almost exclusively by JARVIS.

Tony also remembered what home had looked like just before he had left almost a full month ago. That moment when he thought Hammer had won and Pepper was dead, he had trashed the place. The workshop was in complete disarray – papers strewn across the floor and he was pretty sure he had toppled a cabinet. And had he ever turned off the running water in the bathroom? JARVIS might have taken care of that, but JARVIS sure as hell couldn't organize a room.

And that was exactly what was worrying him now as he sat in the back seat of the car next to Pepper, Happy driving the pair home.

She was on the phone, working out last minute details with Stark Industries and putting any stray rumors to rest. News of Tony's second hospitalization in less than one year had spread like wild fire – especially when Hammer's name was mentioned. Every newspaper to date had printed no less than three separate stories concerning Tony's hospitalization, Pepper's capture and Hammer's imprisonment. A full month of non-stop drama. Tony had forced Pepper to stay out of it; leaving the clean up with Communications but it was next to impossible to keep her completely silent, and she would still do what she could from the hospital.

Now, after being released, he couldn't help but note that the crowd that had gathered outside the hospital was ten times larger than the crowd that had gathered a few months back. Well, I feel special.

Tony was contemplating all this while looking out the window, just as Pepper muttered a hasty goodbye to whoever she was talking with on the phone and sighed. After a moment, she frowned, his silence worrying her and asked, "What are you thinking?"

He turned his head, suddenly dragged out of his reverie and shook his head. "Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

He laughed. "I'm not plotting anything if that's what you mean," he told her, amused.

"You've just been quiet," she told him. "It's slightly terrifying."

"You were on the phone," he gave as his excuse. "I was being courteous."

"Again, terrifying," she told him, putting her phone in her lap and watching him carefully. But he wasn't looking at her – instead, he was gazing out the window, a distant look in his eye. Something was worrying him. "What's the matter?" she asked, honestly concerned.

He shook his head but still said nothing, the corner of his lip twitching silently as he thought. Pepper continued to watch him for another full minute, observing his position and body language. She noticed that his back wasn't against the seat and realized that though the burns had healed well, he was still tender. He was wearing a long sleeve shirt so she couldn't see his arms but she knew the burns were no longer harsh and raw there, finally beginning to scar.

She said nothing, understanding that for now, what he needed was silence. When he was ready, he would talk.

Pepper sighed and looked away, checking off items on a mental checklist. Call Communications, fax the documents to Human Resources, reschedule the arms meeting and call Rhodey to know when he can attend-

Rhodey…Rhodey something. His name was ringing bells in Pepper's mind and all of a sudden, she remembered why. Damn it! She'd forgotten the letter he had delivered to her a few days back. She immediately dug through her things looking for it and hoping whatever was inside the envelope wasn't time sensitive. As soon as she found it, she ripped it open and quickly read the note Rhodey had given her –

You are hereby commanded by the order of the court to appear before the Senate Arms Services Committee—

"You have got to be kidding," Pepper murmured to herself as she continued to read.

"What?" Tony asked, turning to face her and eyeing the letter in her hand fearfully. Pepper simply passed it to him angrily and Tony skimmed through the words quickly. "Shit," he muttered under his breath. The Senate Arms Committee wanted a rematch – so they were calling him back in to argue for the US military's possession of his suits. Again.

"It's a goddman subpoena," Pepper told him, trying to compose herself. Even though Tony thought otherwise, she knew the last one hadn't gone too well.

"We've got two weeks to get ready that's more than enough time, remember last year? They gave me about twelve hours heads up. I had to drive from Flushing, New York to D.C in-"

"I don't care," Pepper spat. "You've been in the hospital for two weeks, they could give you a break. Why now?"

Tony knew exactly why now. "Because the Committee now has an advantage," he told her. "This is my second hospitalization in two weeks and to top it all off I left the suit in the middle of nowhere when Hammer captured you. Anyone could have found it."

"So what?" Pepper mumbled.

"So…" Tony dragged out. "They're going to make the accusation that I'm not physically fit to keep the suits and that I was irresponsible when I left the suit out in the open."

"They can't do that!"

"Actually, they can," he explained, throwing the letter aside.

"You were trying to save me – that's why you left the suit-"

"Yeah, we know that, and they know that – but their stance is still valid-"

"Are you agreeing with them?" she asked suddenly – not angrily, just surprised; as if caught off guard. It was as if he was taking it all lying down – willingly almost. She knew her Tony, and he could come up with a counter argument on the spot, despite how outrageous it might be. But nothing even remotely resembling an argument was coming from his lips – just acceptance. "Do you…want them to take the suits?"

He hesitated before explaining, but the hesitation was answer enough for her and she didn't allow a single word to escape him.

"Are you insane?" she asked.

"You'll be out of everyone's radar if I don't have the suits. It's what everyone wants; the only reason people hate me – because of the technology behind the suits. And if I give it away, no one would bother going after you to get to me-"

"If I recall correctly, Hammer's plan had nothing to do with suits."

"But everyone else's will," he explained.

"You're being selfish," she accused just as Happy pulled up in front of the mansion.

"What-?"

"You help people, Tony – and not just here in California but wherever the hell Fury sends you every other night. You are helping and in the hands of the military, the suits will only become meaningless killing machines. That's not what you wanted them to do. But in your hands, something good will actually come out of them. That's exactly what you wanted. That's why you made them. To help people. And if you even think about letting me mess with that I swear to God I will permanently disconnect JARVIS and send his software flying through the Internet!" And with that, she let herself out of the car and slammed the door behind her.

Tony remained in the car, wide eyed and slightly – alright, extremely terrified of the red-head that had just entered his house. He sighed and rolled his eyes, rubbing his forehead.

"I hate it when she makes sense," he muttered to himself and Happy tried, in vain, to hide an amused smirk.

Once at the steps of the house, he remembered his previous worries – that Pepper would walk in and see the mess he had left that night. He didn't want to bring those memories back yet – they'd resurface in time but now was too soon for either of them. They needed balance, stability now.

But Pepper was already in the house, acting as if everything was normal. Dropping her purse on the second chair by the counter, checking if JARVIS was online and boiling some water to make green tea she routinely drank at about this time – five in the afternoon.

"JARVIS says to check the shop," she told him, still frustrated after her yelling session with Tony in the car. And wisely, he decided now was the time to leave her be and check whatever JARVIS said was a problem.

But he didn't bother going inside the shop. Instead, taped on the workshop door was a note:

Next time, YOU can clean your shit up.

-Natasha and Rhodes

He rolled his eyes but yanked the piece of paper from the glass and stuffed it in his pocket, smiling to himself as he made his way back upstairs.

"What do you think is so funny?" Pepper immediately asked, still pissed.

He sighed and rested his hand on the counter table, supporting his hand in his left hand. "Why are you still angry at me?" he asked innocently.

"Because you're being stupid," she told him, not nearly as innocently.

"I want you to be safe," he told her honestly. "Why is that so bad?"

"I told you – because it's stupid."

He leaned forward, the soft smell of her vanilla shampoo finding its way towards his nose. But just before he reached her lips, she turned her face and looked away, rejecting him.

Tony didn't move at all, remaining uncomfortably close yet unable to pass the invisible barrier she had put up. He kept his eyes focused on hers and saw the pained, sad and hurt expression upon her face.

A soft sigh escaped him but still he didn't move, remaining close to her. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I told you. I don't want to become...the reason you just...abandon everything that's important."

"You're important," Tony told her.

"I'm being serious, Tony," she said, finally looking him in the eye. "You don't understand - this isn't going to work unless you understand that. I don't want you to compromise something that's bigger than both of us just for me. I'm...I'm proud of you for being Iron Man and I worry...a lot about you but I don't want you to just give it up either. For anyone."

I'd give it up. I'd give it up for you. He looked at her and he could tell she knew exactly what he was thinking; and that no amount of her begging would change his mind. When the chips were down and he had to choose, he'd choose her. Any day.

But until that day came, he would understand where she was coming from. "Alright," he told her. It was a sign of agreement that came with a silent clause. Until you're in danger. Whenever you're in danger, I'll always choose you first.

Pepper understood his partial agreement, and for now – that was enough for her. She just nodded once, falling into his eyes that were just a breath away. But instead of closing the remaining distance, she held in her breath and moved away from him, walking past him and towards their room.

Tony remained exactly where he was and after a moment, turned sadly to watch her leave for their room.

Maybe he shouldn't have gone after her – maybe all she needed was time alone. But instead, he chose to follow her anyway and he waited just outside the door, his back against the wall. Pepper just stood there, as if not sure what to do now and he said nothing, giving her time. After a while, she sighed and walked up to him, burying her face in his chest as she hugged him tightly, wrapping her hands around his waist as to keep away from the burns on his upper back.


Two nights later, she had her first nightmare.

She was with Hammer in that same cursed storage room, but she wasn't tied to the chair. Rather, Pepper was on her own two feet, standing beside him, completely free. Immediately, even in a dream, she knew something was wrong.

I'm supposed to be tied up. I'm supposed to be in that chair.

Hammer was smiling, almost sweetly. Three years ago, she would have rolled her eyes at the smile and thought to herself, "Deceiving bastard." Now when she saw the grin or even thought of it, she shuddered.

He glanced down and Pepper quickly looked down as well, expecting a trap; some sort of trick.

Instead, she saw the handgun in her own hand.

Hammer's hand was suddenly around her own and she found herself pointing the gun at the closed door ahead of them. Pepper's finger rested on the trigger and Hammer's finger was on top of hers, ready to push and she closed her eyes, shaking her head.

When Pepper finally chose to open them, she was no longer in the warehouse; she was back home and Tony was asleep on his side of the bed. Tony's peaceful face rested on the pillow, facing her – facing both of them. It was then that she realized she was still holding the gun, and Hammer's finger was still on top of hers.

She shook her head, trying to move her hand in another direction but he was much stronger than her. Before she could beg for him to stop, she felt the pressure in her index finger and heard the shot roar in the bedroom.

Pepper gasped and sat up, the sound of the shot firing enough to yank her from the subconscious world in her mind. It's just a dream, it's just a dream…But a dream that had felt as real as the sheets underneath her. She covered her face with her hand, still in shock, the emotions she had felt in her dream finding her in reality.

"Pepper?" came the soft voice beside her. She turned quickly and saw the arc reactor's blue light illuminate his face.

"It's only a dream…you're alright," he said softly, sitting up beside her and holding her shoulder.

But that wasn't her fear – that wasn't what she had dreamt about. He thinks I'm remembering what had happened to me, she realized. But instead, she had remembered what she had done to him, the pain she had caused him when Hammer had fired the final shot. The pain he had felt because of her, thinking she was dead, even if it wasn't her fault.

Pepper said nothing, breathing slowly as Tony's hands assured her safety.

Finally, after some time, she swallowed and quietly asked him, "Do you know…what the worst part was?"

Tony shook his head no, still holding her. She looked up at him and he could see the remnants of fear in her eyes.

"When you were on the phone," she admitted. "And he made me listen to you scream."


Normalcy seemed to appear out of nowhere most of the time and for hours, it was as if Hammer didn't exist. Then occasionally there was the long, penetrating silence where one was quietly worrying for the other, trying to imagine what the other was thinking. Talking would make everything that had happened that much more real, and neither of them was sure they were ready for it.

The first test came two nights later, when she walked in on Tony taking off his shirt. By then, she had the seen the scars multiple times but she wasn't sure if the tightness in her chest whenever she saw it would ever disappear. The wounds had long healed and the scarring was very light, almost matching his skin tone. But there was no denying the light patches and lines, almost like a snake.

But this time, when she looked, she couldn't help but notice that there was something…off about the burns, as if they were swelling again.

She rolled her eyes and walked up to him, grabbing his good arm and startling him. He hadn't realized she was in the room.

"What now?" he whined, pouting like a child. Despite only being out of the hospital for four days, his presence was practically demanded back at Stark Industries. And he was not all that happy about it.

Pepper didn't answer him. Instead, she examined his arm and noticed that the scars there had all but disappeared. She raised an eyebrow and looked up at him. "You haven't been using that burn cream they gave you," she immediately accused.

"Yes, I have!" he denied, showing her the arm she was already holding.

"But not on your back."

He thought about it for a moment before sheepishly mumbling, "I can't reach it."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, glaring at him. "Tony…"

"And I forgot," he quickly added, sure that was a better excuse. "You can't get mad at me! Right…?"

"It hurts doesn't it?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest.

"I-"

"Tony!" she shrieked even louder. She huffed, aggravated and dug through the drawers, looking for the prescribed medication. As soon as she found it, she popped the cap open and immediately instructed, "Lie down."

"But-"

"Now!" she said sternly, frowning at him warningly. He knew that look. It meant, Don't test me. So he quickly complied, grimacing first before rolling his eyes and lying on his stomach.

He felt her soft hands apply the cool cream along his upper back, rubbing it in gently. She was still cautious, fearful that she might hurt him.

"Tony," she sighed, mumbling aloud. Her anxiety and anger had dissipated. "If you need help with something all you need to do – is ask, alright?"

"Hmm," he mumbled back, making a face Pepper couldn't quite place.

"What's 'hmm'?" she asked him, raising an eyebrow. "You usually go out of your way to get me to touch you," she joked lightly. It was supposed to be a joke, but she saw that it didn't rest with him.

"Not like this."

His frank and sudden honesty surprised her and her hands stopped moving for a split second before continuing. She understood what he meant. I don't want you to touch me like this.

"You blame yourself when you look," he explained.

Pepper couldn't help but realize that though at times Tony might forget the bigger picture, he always noticed the little things; the details that made her tick. She tried not to show any signs of hesitation or worry whenever she saw the burns - but her eyes couldn't hide what she truly felt. It was the keyhole into her soul. And Tony had caught on.

"I wouldn't have even made it out were it not for you," he continued. "But you still think it's your fault."

There was more he wanted to say, but couldn't. So much more. Every time you look at me, you're going to remember. You'll always remember, and that's not what I want. When I touch you, I don't want to think that you're remembering. I want to touch you and feel you and love you and only that. I don't want anything else to matter. And when you touch me, I want you to want me. Just me. I want it to be like before and I don't just mean sex. I want to touch you. And I want you to touch me. Just to touch me.

Maybe it was selfish – but was that so awful? To want normalcy to that extent? Was it so bad that he didn't want Hammer to continue to plague their every movement, what they thought, how they felt, how they even touched?

And as if to answer the questions devouring him, she felt him lean forward, her hands still on his bare back just as she kissed his right shoulder. Slowly, she worked her way to his neck and moved down until she found his lips. He kissed her gently, moving onto his side to get a better angle and as he did, he sensed her urgency. Her hand moved from his back towards his chest and then his face, caressing his cheek and tracing her finger along his hairline and down to his jaw. Every time he found her bare skin, it was as if he was learning her all over again.

Maybe, in time, when he touched her, it would feel more familiar. But he honestly doubted that. He could never have enough of her – of her smell, her touch, her smile. But she would always be more than enough for him.

Hurro? So…are you there? Review please! Thank you! HEARTS!