A/N The song that Shepard was listening to can be heard here www. / watch?v=q_utFz2wmtE (remove the spaces)

I use a lot of music while I'm writing and as a backdrop to particular scenes and I'll continue to mention the important ones as we go along.

Chapter 29

"This is amazing Kas, how the hell did you find it so quickly," Shepard was standing in the middle of an large open plan apartment with almost floor to ceiling windows that formed two of the outer walls. Immediately to the right was a well equipped kitchen and the main space had three large sofas and another area that would clearly work as dinning space.

"This is the very best neighbourhood Illium has to offer Shep just as you wanted, if you look up there is an open gallery that gives access to four bedrooms, bathrooms and the lift to the roof," Kasumi paused to enjoy the sight of Shepard's eyebrows raising and a look of amazement forming on her face.

She continued, "Oh yes… this being the penthouse you are the only one with access to the roof and the sky car that comes with the apartment.

Anyone who shouldn't be seen visiting or living here can access directly from above. I bought a five year lease, that was the shortest term they would give me… but" Shepard turned and gave Kas a hug and interrupted her by saying.

"It's perfect, everything I asked for, show my upstairs, which one will work as the nursery," Shepard was already heading for the stairs as she noticed a door leading off the main area and before she could ask Kasumi smiled and said.

"A decent sized study, you know Liara and her research," Shepard smiled again at Kas but this time there was an edge of sadness in her eyes, nothing was certain about Liara joining her here or anywhere else for that matter.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It had been nearly a week since Shepard had returned to Illium. She kept the hotel rooms for show, but had in fact been settling into the penthouse apartment with her team.

Shepard had decided that most of the time Veetor'Nara would work from the apartment so he had been spending most of his time and a large chunk of credits on equipping one of the bedrooms and a comms hub and his research lab.

She offered him one of the bedrooms but he insisted that he was happy sleeping in the 'comms room', it was certainly big enough and it's where he felt most at home.

Kasumi had paid a visit to Vert Plunes to 'ask' for his help on Shepard's behalf. When Kas reported back to Shepard about the meeting she said he seemed almost resigned to the fact that he would hear from Shepard on a regular basis.

But Kasumi also said that he was helpful and sorted things out quickly. So if anyone went looking for anything that may be owned or leased by Shepard they would not find it, the lease was hidden amongst the assets of a certain merc group.

The final piece in the jigsaw was Shepard's son. She wanted, needed, to take responsibility for him despite her dangerous and precarious lifestyle. The apartment had been put in place for that very reason. Once the idea formed Shepard could also see the advantage of having a 'base' that would not be under Cerberus control or scrutiny.

There was one big problem, how she was going to care for her son while she was also chasing all over the galaxy hunting down the Collectors and the Shadow Broker.

The situation had been solved by Shepard's mother and grandmother. Shepard's cousin Jamie had served one term in the Alliance but was now working in a crèche on the Arcturus station but agreed to join Shepard, to look after her son, as soon as he was approached by his aunt Captain Shepard.

Jamie had been dispatched to Earth to pick young John up and bring him to Illium and they were due at the Illium space terminal in a couple of hours. Shepard had sent Garrus and Kasumi to meet them, now all that remained was for her to wait for the arrival of her son.

She had a couple more days before she was due back at the Cerberus station to formerly enter her contract with Jack Harper and Miranda was already heading to Illium to pick her up.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was Shepard's last day and they had all congregated in the living area, dispersed around the sofas and all watching a game of baseball on the large screen. Shepard and Jamie had enjoyed themselves no end trying to explain the game to Garrus and Veetor who couldn't grasp the mechanics of the scoring system, or much else if truth be told.

Kasumi at least understood the significance of the opening game of the 2185 season but not the choice of team that Shepard and Jamie were supporting.

"So why are the two of you, with all your Vancouver connections following the fortunes of the Vladivostok Bears?" She asked looking across at Shepard who had young John fast asleep in the crook of her arm.

"Family heritage," Shepard answered, "most of the families that make up the Shepard Skorgaard clan can trace a connection to the old Russian Empire.

My family are connected to the Viking that laid the foundations for Russia and this little fella carries his name 'Oleg'."

"You know Shepard I don't think you've given him enough names, the usual number for Turian society is around nine, to fully reflect the glorious heritage of the house this fine miniature human has been born into," Garrus was smiling and Shepard laughed in response remembering the first time Garrus had listed his ten names most of which she had forgotten.

"Yeah well I reckon three is enough for anyone," she said and noticing Kasumi's questioning look continued, "well John, as you know for my father, Oleg for the warrior conqueror heritage in the family and Asoka who was a ruthless warrior but who then saw the light and became a kind and enlightened Buddhist king… kinda hoping to give him the best range of options when he's old enough to choose his own path," she smiled down at the sleeping infant.

"You do realise the unifying factor amongst those all those names though Shepard… they were all warriors," Kasumi said with a huge smile.

"Yeah well genes will out," Shepard answered and joined in the laughter as they all looked at the small human and the consummate warrior that cradled him.

The game ended with the Bears winning eleven to four against the Detroit Tigers which was Shepard's cue to leave. Passing her son to Jamie and making her goodbyes she left with Garrus who was going to drop her off at the hotel where she would meet Miranda.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard stood once more in the room that would connect her via QEC to Jack Harper and as he flickered into existence in front of her, with his familiar burning backdrop, she felt the same urge to strangle him with her bare hands.

But she now needed to start playing a very different game.

"So Commander I hope you have attended to all your personal matters and you're ready to start your mission to bring down the Collectors?" Harpers tone was friendly as he scrutinized her with his prosthetic steely blue eyes.

"Indeed, it would seem that my coming back from the dead has caused a lot of questions to be asked and I'm damn certain I'm not going to be a lab rat for the Alliance while those responsible for destroying my ship and killing my crew are out there.

You seem to have been right about the unwillingness of the Council and the Alliance to believe the Reaper threat is still very real… but don't get too comfortable with all this Harper, my enemies enemy doesn't necessarily make them a friend.

This is a business arrangement and a way I can pay off my debt to you for bringing me back, I don't like being in anyone's debt let along a murdering, duplicitous bastard who I would still like to see dead." Her voice was hard and cold her stare unwavering.

She would distance herself from the Alliance and play the part of a renegade but she would not cosy up to Harper or Cerberus that would be unbelievable and it was unnecessary.

"I'm glad we can find common ground Shepard, you may not believe it or like it but I admire and respect you as a shining example of humanities courage and ingenuity, you embody the best that humanity has to offer the galaxy.

You also have a unique relationship with the Reapers and therefore the Collectors which you will be able to exploit in order to bring them down."

"You mean they want me dead or alive so as bait I won't have long till I find myself in a fight with them," she knew that was one of the reasons Harper had brought her back and not only because she had been instrumental in stopping the Reapers returning the last time they tried.

"Perhaps we should move on to your preparations to meet the challenges the Collectors pose," it wasn't so much a question as a statement and so he continued.

"You will find a set of dossiers that identify individuals that will be useful assets for your team. I am assuming you wish to include Doctor Goto and Mr Vakarian?"

"I'll choose my own team Harper and my own crew and my condition about no Cerberus cheerleaders or uniforms still holds." She would negotiate if she had to so needed to start from a powerful position.

"I'm afraid that Doctor Lawson is not negotiable and I will expect her to act as you XO, as for the crew, we have spent some time recruiting for this mission but you will, of course, have final sign off on crew members.

Perhaps you should look through the dossiers you have and then decide, they are only suggestions but they all have unique experience or expertise that will enhance your team.

It only remains for you to meet your pilot and take charge of your new ship; I look forward to hearing of your progress." And with those final words the comms link when dark.

Shepard heard footsteps behind her and turned ready to be furious that Harper should presume to choose her pilot for her, but she immediately moved forward with a huge grin and placed her hands on the shoulders of a very wary looking Joker.

"Commander I'm so sorry I got you… killed… if you don't want…" Shepard cut across his nervous and very un-Joker like tone.

"Hell Joker you're the finest pilot I've ever seen, no one else I'd rather fly into a suicide mission with… they did tell you we will end up taking a trip through the Omega 4 relay," she beamed at him and some of his old self started to shine through.

"Well with my flying and your ability to cheat death Commander I figure the odds of it not being a suicide mission just got a little higher." He smiled and they began to walk up the stairs Joker taking them one at a time.

"So why did you leave the Alliance," she asked knowing what the answer was likely to be.

"Well after you… you know died… the survivors of the old crew all got re-assigned and they wouldn't let me fly, said I was a liability. So when I got approached by Cerberus I jumped at the chance to fly again when they told me you would be the Commander… and I only found out this morning… but this is our ship."

They had reached the top of the stairs and Joker switched the window to view mode, there sitting in the dock was an almost exact replica of the Normandy, it looked about twice the size, but still the same sleek lines.

"I guess all we need to do is name her," Joker was still looking at the ship as he spoke and Shepard was pleased to note that she had no markings on her silver bodywork except a black SR2 in a couple of places.

"Nothing else we could call her Joker, tell them to paint Normandy on her side and she will take revenge for her predecessors crew," Shepard's eyes blazed and realised she hadn't had time to begin to mourn the loss of her ship and so many of her crew, some of whom she counted as friends.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard was in her new cabin on the Normandy, where Miranda had obviously had all her replacement 'possession's' installed, including her collection of replica's, or models as Liara had teased her.

The thought of Liara burned her, she was not allowed to have any contact with her beautiful Asari as it was necessary for Liara to completely immerse herself in the therapy she was experiencing in the Temple.

Her eyes immediately found the three photographs on her desk, two of Liara and one of them both from their short holiday on Hasperos. They looked so carefree, happy and in love, Shepard felt the loss of Liara keenly.

Thinking about Hasperos and the Phosphorus system it was located within Shepard once again had a song come up in her mind. It was a favourite of hers and Liara's but there was a particular line in the song that seemed to nudge at something just below her conscious mind.

She played it on her audio system… the song had been on her mind since 'coming back' and her realisation of just how badly hurt Liara was.

Shepard remembered a conversation that had taken place in her old cabin on the SR1, Liara had said that when music bubbled to the surface it was sometimes our 'unconscious minds sending a message. Shepard had laughed and named it her internal DJ.

There was probably no surprise about this particular song as it spoke of wanting to 'fix you', but it was also that one particular line was haunting the edges of her mind and hearing the song now she was able to bring it into focus, 'stay if you want to and we'll disappear…'

'That's it… disappear… the Protheans always had a backup plan, but it relied too much on technology… and they didn't allow for the indoctrinated amongst them… we need a plan… I have to talk to Hackett… and Liara… I need to talk to Liara… get real Shepard you don't just want to talk to her.'

Shepard once again allowed her eyes to rest on the photos as she played the song over again this time letting the beat and the message roll through her mind.

Before the song had finished the buzzer on her cabin door sounded and Shepard shut off the music.

"Come in," Shepard stood up and waited for Miranda to enter the room.

"Commander I hope everything is to your liking? You'll see the uniforms are just plain black with no insignia at all. Are you ready to sign off on the crew selection?" Miranda sounded as if she was walking on egg shells and Shepard knew they needed to clear the air.

"Look Miranda you passed on intel that led Liara straight into a trap and as good as killed her, she's unlikely to recover and there's nothing I can do about that… but I need to know I can rely on you, and your Cerberus puppet master, on a few key issues.

One is bringing down the Shadow Broker, he had footage of us in that clinic on Illium and so knows about my son, I need you to make sure that the Broker doesn't know I'm looking for him but I am going to destroy his arse just for being too interested in my private life… do you understand?" Shepard noted that Miranda looked truly shocked at the revelation that the Broker knew about the clinic and the birth.

"Shepard you have to believe me when I say I had no intention of hurting Doctor T'Soni… is your son safe…" Shepard cut across her.

"Yeah he is, safe and sound hidden on Earth and we let the nurse from the clinic go before we moved him… and maybe I believe you about Liara… we have a connection Miranda but it doesn't mean I'm just going to trust you," Shepard didn't like what she was going to do but smoke and mirrors at this point was all she had.

"Look, we share a child, not in the usual sense but… you know… so let's try to get to know each other a little better… outside work… I need to know I can trust you," Shepard left her intention hanging between them.

"I… that would be… a useful way for us to have a more productive working relationship Commander, thank you," Shepard smiled.

"I've told you when we're off duty to call me Shepard. Look I've read through the files on the crew, they all seem fine, and very high number of ex-alliance and you know I won't have any Cerberus lackeys on my crew so I'll leave it to your judgment."

Miranda looked pleased and nodded before making to leave the room.

"As soon as they are all on board we leave for Omega, I've told Doctor Goto and Garrus Vakarian to join us there."

"Yes Commander," Miranda answered and Shepard's eyes followed her as she left the room.

'Well it won't be a hardship flirting with her; she is easy on the eye… but remember what you mamma told you about playing with fire,' Shepard thought and then turned her attention back to reading the dossiers of her prospective team members.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard slipped back easily into her on ship routine, it fit her like a second skin, eating all her meals in the mess, spending time with every crew member and familiarising herself with all areas of the ship.

There were, as she had noted to Miranda, a fair number who were ex-alliance and who seemed to have signed up only because the mission was being run by Shepard. And the Cerberus members were of the 'wanting the best for humanity' ilk rather than 'all aliens are inferior and are only out to do humanity down'.

When Joker called her on the ship comms that they were about to drop out of the relay jump and into the Sahrabarik system Shepard was already on her way up to the cockpit to take her usual place standing between the pilot and co-pilot chairs.

The sight of the Omega station always thrilled her slightly; it was probably the most dangerous place in the galaxy, if you didn't know how to handle yourself and it was that edge that made her senses just that little bit sharper.

"Joker if we're ever confronted with any kind of ship dropping out of FTL in front of us in future you have my permission to jump us to a safe distance without waiting to find out who it is," Shepard said to Joker from where she was standing behind his seat, her arms crossed in a familiar pose.

"But mister the next time I order abandon ship I want you scrappy little arse to be one of the first hitting the seat in the nearest escape pod, do I make myself clear," she accompanied her words with a squeeze of his shoulder.

"No need to worry about either of those circumstances Commander, there's absolutely no way I'm losing another ship," and he hung his head a little and continued in a quieter voice, "or another Commander."

Shepard smiled to herself at the penitence of her usually flippant and back chatting Lieutenant, but as the ship drew closer to the station and Joker began talking to what passed for its docking control Shepard's mind moved to thinking about the meeting with Aria T'Loak and the recruitment of the first couple of members of her specialist team.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard and Garrus were sitting in a booth on the middle floor of the Afterlife club watching Miranda and Kasumi at the bar, the pirate queen of Omega hadn't been in the club when they arrived so Shepard had decided they should settle in and have a few drinks.

"You know Shepard, you have impeccable taste in women even when you're dead," Garrus's mandibles were twitching wildly and Shepard could hear the humour in his voice.

"What can I say… I'm irresistible even completely comatose… that's a real handicap for you Vakarian… never gonna pull with me around," Shepard was smiling at her friend as they settled into their usual round of banter.

"Well don't get too carried away… you haven't bedded her yet so I'm probably still in with a shot," Shepard turned and gave him a playful punch to the shoulder.

"Hey that's the mother of my child you're talking about… well sort of," they settled back down from their laughter as the two women approached the table carrying drinks.

"Want to let us in on the amusement," Kasumi asked her eyebrows raised as she sat next to Garrus while Miranda sat next to Shepard.

"Oh just catching up with Garrus's woeful performance with the females of any species… poor guy needs dating tips from me and I've been dead for the best part of two years," Shepard raised a glass to Garrus who raised his in salute and said.

"Touché, but this… competition is not over."

The group spent the next couple of hours relaxing and chatting, it was important for Shepard to study Miranda in an off duty relaxed setting, Shepard really needed to know if or how much she could trust Miranda, and she also wanted to know what Cerberus had hanging over the Doctor's head.

Aria T'Loak finally made an appearance and Shepard was summoned to join her, alone, on the balcony that Aria habitually occupied when she was in the club.

Shepard stepped inside the almost invisible privacy barrier and found herself looking at Aria's back.

"So tell me Shepard what was it like dying," Aria asked her still standing looking out over the crowded dance floor.

"You get the prize Aria… the only person so far to ask me that… if you want the honest answer I was angry… felt it wasn't fair it should happen just as I found someone that I loved… then it was painful and frightening... then nothing," Shepard knew she was going to have to fence with Aria but decided to move things along a little more quickly.

"Matriarch T'Joan suggested it might be… helpful if I came to Omega and talked to you," Shepard couldn't be sure but there may have been a slight tensing of shoulder… but it could have been her imagination.

"Really... and just what do you need from me this time Shepard," Aria had turned around to look her in the eyes while answering. Aria sat down in a familiar pose with her arms along the back of the long bench seats that encircled the space.

Shepard sat down and leaned back in her seat studying Aria in a way that the queen of Omega would find both irritating and disrespectful before long.

"You know Liara would probably have been dead at least three times over if she hadn't had a guardian angel providing protection for her," Shepard thought she saw T'Loak's eyes narrow slightly.

"What has this got to do with me, last time I checked babysitter wasn't on my list of job titles… from what I hear you were the one that… saved her last time… that is when you eventually got around to paying the supposed object of affection some attention."

Shepard got the barb but wasn't going to be deflected, "Yeah well my life got a bit complicated after being dead and then being brought back… but I met the instrument of her protection at the Broker base… she seemed familiar to me so I did some digging… seems she works out of Omega and quite often for you." Shepard left her statement hanging but Aria made no comment, she was now completely inscrutable.

"My concern is about the motives of anyone who is close enough to Liara both to protect her and… provide her with information that could also get her killed."

"Why don't you spit it out Shepard, you think I've been helping poor little lost Liara after her great hero got herself killed… why would I put myself to that trouble, that expense, unless of course you already have a theory," Aria's words were cold as was her stare, Shepard could almost feel something else but couldn't make any sense of whatever it was.

"I think there are very few people in the galaxy who could have pulled off that kind of protection and even fewer who would have the support and trust of someone as loyal to the T'Soni family as Matriarch T'Joan is. Why don't we stop shadow boxing Aria, you don't have to kiss and tell but I know your involved somehow, just so we're clear if you put Liara into any danger with the game your…." But Shepard's words were cut off as Aria jumped to her feet and with a biotic pulse from her hand lifted Shepard out of her seat and pinned her to the wall by her throat.

"Don't ever think you can threaten me Shepard and don't ever presume you know what my business is… I think you're the one who left Liara in danger and exposed and if it wasn't for the fact that we both know how attached she is to you I would be strongly advising you to keep well away from her," Aria dropped her hands to her side and Shepard crashed to the floor.

Shepard focused hard on not gasping for breath or coughing and as smoothly as possible got up off the floor and sat back down, looking across at Aria it was as if the shutters had come down and the previous display of anger was nowhere to be seen.

"If there wasn't something going on between you and Liara you wouldn't hesitate to have put out an airlock if I pissed you off as much as it seems I just did, but I'm not looking to piss you off… I need your help.

When Liara gets out of the Temple I want the problem with the Shadow Broker to have gone away and that will only happen if I kill him."

"I thought you wanted everyone to believe Liara was practically dead, not spending time at the local Temple, what happened to your carefully laid deceptions," Aria was once again relaxed and sitting back in her seat her usual commanding self.

"You seem to have a direct line inside the T'Soni inner circle so I won't insult you by pretending we don't both know that.

Someone gave Liara information that led her into that trap and it came via Cerberus, I will find out who it was but I can't trust that they will help me with my Broker problem, I have a mission to carry out for them and they won't want me distracted.

I'm looking but if you could help me I may have a chance to take him down sooner, we both know it isn't going to be easy tracking down his base." Shepard leaned forward as if to emphasize how important this was.

Aria looked as if she was considering what Shepard had said and when she answered her tone was neutral and controlled.

"I will provide you with any information that comes into my hands that relates to the Shadow Broker's base, on one condition, that you deal with the problem before Liara leaves the Temple… oh and it really wouldn't matter if the Shadow Brokers prisoner didn't make it out alive," when she finished speaking she touched her bracelet and Shepard felt the privacy barrier drop.

Shepard stood up and nodded to the queen of Omega and turned to go but before she left she turned to Aria and said, "I won't allow anyone to hurt Liara or put her in danger."

"Unless of course it's you Shepard and you have done both those things on too many occasions," Aria spoke without malice or coldness and if Shepard didn't think that it would be ridiculous she would have said there was an edge of sadness in the parting words from Omega's ice queen.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Arai watched Shepard walk away; it was all she could do not to explode with anger. 'When the fuck did she become an empath… I doubt she knows yet or she would have actually controlled it… fuck… what the hell happened to her…"

Aria was doubly frustrated, she had no eyes inside the Temple and no eyes inside Cerberus, but she had to find out how this human had developed a very Asari trait, which was even rare amongst the Asari themselves.

She had lost control and Aria never lost control, Shepard had come close without even knowing to uncovering the feelings that were so deeply hidden away inside Aria that sometimes she even forgot she had them.

'I need to know and I need to be better prepared for the next time we meet… you won't catch me out again Shepard,' as Aria finished that thought her second in command joined her and her mind was brought back to the business of running her empire.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As Shepard walked down the stairs and began making her way back to the others at the table the music throbbed through her body and she felt a powerful urge to hit the dance floor.

'What the hell is happening to you Shepard… your meant to be working and you want to go fucking dancing… you think you can sense what Aria is feeling… did you bang your head somewhere along the way and I missed it… fuckin concentrate on what you're doing.." Shepard's thoughts were laced with anger, Aria's parting shot had hit its mark, it was absolutely true and there wasn't a damn thing Shepard could do about it.

"Right you lot are we sober enough to go get our Professor?" Shepard asked when she got back to the table, meeting nods and an immediate shifting of bodies to standing positions she headed for the entrance.

When they hit the street Shepard realised how much she was looking forward to what was going to be quite a fight to get to the clinic that the Salarian Doctor Mordin Solus had set up deep inside the quarantine zone in one of the lower habitation rings.

"Ok we know there is a plague loose that seems not to affect human's but it's not stopping the Blue Suns and Blood Pack from fighting over territory, so we are likely to get caught in the crossfire and end up fighting both.

Sorry Garrus but I'm not prepared to risk you catching this plague so you stay put here." Shepard saw that he was about to argue and to cut him off she gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder and continued, "Look you're too valuable to me to lose you to some bug, suck it up soldier."

"Hum well I suppose… but I don't like it," Garrus's voice was quiet but Shepard could hear his concern.

Leaving Garrus at the barrier Shepard, Miranda and Kasumi entered the quarantined district guns at the ready.