Nora was in an empty house. She stood in what could have been a living room that was void of all furniture. Through the windows, she could see it was dark outside. It was an unusual sort of darkness though. She should have been able to make out shapes or something but it felt like she was looking at a black wall. She had no idea where she was or what was even going on but she had a feeling of unease about the situation.

There were no lights on and she felt along the wall as she walked, looking for a light switch. When she found one, she flicked it several times but nothing happened. She didn't like this. Knowing she had to leave, she left the room and made a right to go out onto the porch. As she walked, she realized the reason she knew where the door was was because this was the layout of their house. But it didn't look like it. When she reached the door, it wouldn't open. She couldn't find the knob. It was impossible to see but she felt the wall, then slid her hand along the solid wood of the door but there was no knob.

This only made her more uncomfortable but she swallowed that thought and turned to head for the kitchen. She could go out the sliding door. As she walked, the hallway seemed to stretch on for miles. Every step seemed to light up a torch that hung on the wall, casting an eery glow. Finally, she entered the kitchen and reached for the latch that would open the sliding door. It wasn't there. This is impossible, she thought, struggling to find some way to get the door open. Her fingers slid against the glass, squeaking as she tried to find a hold. She stared out the window for a moment and examined her mottled reflection. She looked terrified.

A blur of movement caught her attention and she turned quickly to see Alex lingering a few feet behind her. He was staring at her but she had the feeling he wasn't truly seeing her. It was like he was looking through her.

"Alex,"

She approached him slowly, not wanting to startle him. As soon as she had taken her third step, he turned and walked out of the room. His behavior concerned her and she followed, although she wasn't sure what to do.

Again, the hallway seemed to stretch longer than normal and she could barely make him out ahead of her. She called to him several times but he never responded before disappearing completely into the dark. She halted to a stop as the torches went out and left her in a jarring state. She couldn't see. It was so silent she thought maybe she had gone deaf. But she sensed there was someone standing near her.

"Alex?" it had to be her son. He had been the only person she had seen. There was no response but she jumped as she felt something brush against her hand. Whoever it was, was right behind her. She stiffened momentarily as she felt a pair of hands on her hips. Then she recognized Miles's touch and breathed his name softly in relief. He said nothing as his hands wandered up over her sides and she felt his face brush against the side of her head as he lowered his mouth to the curve of her neck. She began to lift a hand to curl into his hair but his fingers tightened around her wrist, keeping her immobile.

His other hand continued to roam, fingering the band of her underwear before sliding along her stomach and up her chest. She winced as he squeezed her hard and tried to pull away. As she did, he adjusted his hold so she was pressed completely against him, his arms wrapped painfully tight around her waist.

"You're hurting me."

His head shook, a silent no, as he continued to ravage her collarbone. She leaned her head away, hoping she could get loose somehow. It did hurt. He wasn't even kissing at this point, just sucking and biting hard. Angry, mean, like he wanted to hurt her.

"Miles, stop!"

At that, he lifted his head and she let out a startled cry as Bass stared at her. His eyes seemed to glow in the darkness and even without seeing the rest of his face, she knew he was smirking.

"Why would you think I was Miles?"

"That - that wasn't you." in the beginning, it had not been Bass. She knew how Miles touched and moved. That had been him.

"Of course it was. You didn't realize because there's no difference. We're the same. Besides, I watched for so long. I know exactly how he acts. Here, I'll show you." he knelt down, still keeping her in a hold, and mimicked perfectly how Miles would kiss and touch certain parts of her torso, nudging lightly with his nose. She made a disgusted noise that had him laughing quietly. "Exactly the same, am I right?"

She said nothing, trying to ignore the paralyzing fear that had swept over her. This was ridiculous. She could fight him. She wasn't going to be subjected to his games any longer.

"Why are you so upset?" he looked at her curiously, as though he truly did not understand. His expression flickered, like bad reception on a TV, and for a moment she was staring at Miles. "It's all the same."

He leaned in and kissed her. For a moment, she faltered, giving in, but when she met his gaze again, she was looking at Bass once more.

"Always tried telling you that. Miles and I are symbiotic. What's mine is his and what's his is mine. That includes the Republic… Alex… you." he grinned possessively, nipping at her lower lip. He pushed her backwards until her back hit a hard mattress. When she tried to move, she realized she couldn't. Her wrists were tied somehow. She squirmed, trying to roll and get free. "Oh… and the baby."

"No."

"Yes." he leaned over her, brushing at her hair with his hand. She jerked her head away and he made a noise, feigning sympathy. "I didn't want it like this. You have to understand that. I told you that this would have been different if you had just come to me. But you'll see that everything is going to be exactly as it should be. I'll take care of you and the baby."

"I don't want you anywhere near me or my kids. It'll never happen."

"Too late for that." he smiled coldly as he rested his hand against her stomach. She cried out in pain at the sudden contraction. This was wrong, all wrong. It was too soon for this to be happening. Before she had time to catch her breath, another one hit her. "Relax, it's all okay. Just breathe."

"Don't touch me!" she yelled, still trying to move away from him. The pain was more intense that she remembered and she groaned, curling her fingers into her palms.

"I know you don't mean it." he forcibly opened her hand, squeezing it nearly as hard as the contractions ripping through her stomach. "I'm not going to leave you. Not until I get what's mine."

"Bass, please-" she was ashamed at the sob that came out of her.

"I know." he crooned quietly, then was looking at someone off to the side. "Tell her she's fine."

"Everything is going as it should Nora. Don't worry about anything." the voice of the old Militia doctor confused her. She hadn't seen him in years. She had to be mistaken.

"No, you don't understand. This isn't right." she lifted her head to indeed see Hannigan standing at her feet. Other faces were swirling around him - Julia, Mia, a woman she didn't know. "The baby's not ready. And, he's not supposed to be here. Where's Miles? I need Miles. Miles!"

A group of people seemed to be crowding around her now but none of them were the one person she needed and wanted.

"She's delirious." the men exchanged a chuckle, as if it was amusing how she was acting. "Don't worry General. She'll be fine in just a few moments. It won't be much longer now."

"No, no," she kept sobbing the word over and over. It did nothing - they weren't listening to her anyway.

"Okay, it's time. Next contraction, you have to push. Now!"

"No!" even as she yelled it, adamant she would not, instinct seemed to take over her. This was the cycle they were stuck in, until suddenly there was a newborn wail in the air and she felt completely empty.

"Congratulations General. You have a daughter."

"Oh Bass, she's wonderful. She's going to be perfect."

She squeezed her eyes shut at Rachel's appearance, unable to watch as they took another one of her children. She was openly weeping, not having felt like this since the day she was told Alex was dead.

"Stop crying. It's going to be fine." she grimaced in pain as Bass straddled her. "Maybe we'll let you see her if you cooperate."

"I'll kill you first." she swore. Now her hands were free and she swung at him. He grappled with her for a moment, trying to avoid her.

"Then, I can't let that happen." he sunk a knife into her chest as her fist made contact with the side of his face.


Miles fell backwards off the bed, landing on the floor with a pained grunt. Nora lunged up with a scream, gasping wildly. It took her a moment to realize she was in her bedroom. She looked over herself anxiously, feeling along the front of her body. No blood. No pain. Her stomach was appropriately sized for this portion of the pregnancy.

It was a dream, she realized, still panting. She thrust her hands into her hair, trying to calm down. Then she spotted Miles rolling slightly, cursing under his breath.

"Oh my God. Miles, I'm sorry." she dove off the bed and grabbed at him.

"It's okay." he winced as she felt his face and inspected the split lip he now sported. "Who taught you how to punch?"

He tried to grin but the distraught look on her face sobered him. After a brief pause, she let out a soft cry and collapsed against him, sobbing into his chest. He brought his arms around her and held on comfortingly.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I should have known better than to get in your face while you're having a nightmare."

"Dad? Mom?" Alex's meek voice caught their attention and Nora mumbled under her breath, wiping quickly at her face. He stood in the doorway, a frightened expression on his face. "What's wrong? I heard you yelling."

"Oh honey, I'm sorry. Everything - everything's okay." she stood up slowly to walk towards him. When she saw him back up just an inch, she changed her mind and went into the adjoining bathroom.

"Come on buddy, let's get you back in bed." Miles pushed himself up and walked over to the door. Alex gave a glance to the bathroom but allowed himself to be propelled down the hallway. He climbed under the blanket and stared at his father for a moment.

"You're bleeding." he observed. Miles let out a slight laugh, nodding as he wiped as his mouth.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Is Mom okay?"

"She's fine. She just had a bad dream. That's all."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Why, parents aren't allowed to get bad dreams?"

He shook his head a little, making Miles sigh.

"Everything's fine. It happens. Good night." he ruffled his hair gently and shut the lamp off. "See you tomorrow."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't want Mom to be scared."

"Me neither. But, she's got us to protect her, right?"

"Yeah."

Miles grinned slightly and shut the door halfway. Alone in the hallway, he allowed himself a moment to get himself together. He touched his face gently and grimaced. Woman knew how to throw a punch. He had taught her well - too well.

When he reentered his bedroom, the light was still on in the bathroom and the door was still closed. Stitch sat at the entrance, whining as he pawed at the door to get to Nora. He nudged the dog out of the way and tried to turn the knob and found it locked.

"Baby, open the door." he jiggled it slightly, hoping to get her attention but there was no response. After a moment, he told her, "If you don't, I'll just pick the lock anyway."

He gave her what he felt was ample time to respond - thirty seconds - then went into the night stand for the knife he had stashed. With a few twists, the lock popped open and he gently pushed the door open. She sat on the closed toilet, hunched over her lap. One hand cradled her stomach and the other pressed against her face.

"Honey," he stopped a few feet from her, not wanting to risk the other side of his face.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It happens." though it usually didn't happen to her. He sat on the edge of the tub, allowing him to be next to her. She wouldn't look at him and he had a feeling that she wasn't going to happen no matter what he did. She looked terrible. With a quiet sigh, he rubbed his hand over the top of her back.

"I didn't mean to wake you up."

"You didn't."

"What?"

"I was downstairs. It's not even ten thirty. I heard you yelling. I thought someone had climbed in the window."

"It was that bad?"

"Must have been some dream."

"Yeah."

"You want to talk about it?"

She hesitated, then shook her head no. He was going to argue but decided against it. When she was ready, she would come to him.

"You know, whatever happened, it wouldn't really happen. I would have been there."

"I know."


After three nights of this - her waking up screaming, Alex peering in their doorway, Miles at a complete loss of what to do- she decided enough was enough. She let Miles get their son to bed and stayed out on the back porch, intending on staying out there as long as possible. It was the middle of November, almost Thanksgiving, and despite it being sunny California, there was a cool breeze in the air. Granted, it was better than Philadelphia or Chicago in November but it was cool enough that she wrapped a light blanket around herself.

She didn't know how long she had sat out there. Most of the neighbors' lights had gone off some time ago. Her own home was silent. She hoped that Miles was asleep. As soon as she thought that, she heard his footsteps in the kitchen. She had kept the porch light off and wondered if he would even realize she was still out there. He was doing something - getting a drink by the sound of it.

Then he came outside and sat wordlessly at her side. One hand held a glass of bourbon and the other held a steaming mug of the mint tea she had been favoring recently.

"Figured you could use this." he held out the mug and she accepted it.

"I'd rather have the bourbon," she muttered, making him chuckle quietly. "You should go up to bed. It's probably late."

"Are you going to take your own advice?"

"I'll be up in a little bit."

"You'll come up with me."

"I'll come up when I'm ready."

"Or I could throw you over my shoulder and take you up. Your choice."

"Don't do this."

"No, how about you don't do this?" he knocked back the tumbler and smashed the glass down onto the deck. She winced at the loud crack it generated, slicing through the silence. "I've kept my mouth shut- which has been harder than I thought-"

"That's bull shit."

"What?"

"Since when do you care about talking about feelings?"

He stared at her with a frown, trying to find the answer. He swallowed, then said, "I always cared when it came to you. You can't do this to yourself."

"It doesn't matter. It's not going to change. Why put all of us through hell for another night? I'm not going to sleep any way."

"So you'll deprive yourself instead. That's real smart."

"Go to bed." she was exhausted and didn't want to fight with him. He shook his head, anger simmering in his gaze and he turned so she was blocked in between his arms.

"No, no, because you're going to listen to me."

"Get away from me." her voice was quiet but her face contained a slight hint of fear that made him feel like a dick. He was used to getting that look from plenty of people but he never wanted her to be afraid of him. He dropped his one arm and lowered the other so it rested on the top of her shoulders. "Miles,"

"I'm worried about you. This isn't you. Shit is not supposed to bother you like this. In fifteen years, I've never seen you act like that."

"Things change."

"What is going on that is so terrible that it has you waking up in a panic?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well maybe you should."

"And what is that going to accomplish? Nothing. It changes nothing."

"Are they about me?"

"No."

"So why are you so against talking about it?"

"What is with you? Seriously, you don't - "

"You're not sleeping. You're wearing yourself thin. I'm worried about you and the baby. I'm not going to act like a dick when you're in trouble. Just talk to me."

"I-"

"You know, one of the reasons why everything fell apart after we left Philly was because we wouldn't talk to each other. I blamed myself for that. I felt like you thought I wouldn't listen - apparently with good reason- and I didn't know what to say. I swore every day after you walked out that if I got another chance at our relationship, I would change that. So here I am, asking you to confide in me. I can help."

She was silent for some time after that. He waited patiently as she drank her tea and fidgeted in the seat.

"It's the same dream." she muttered, her voice barely a whisper. "I mean, it varies but for the most part, it's the same idea. I'm in the house and there's no one around. It's unnerving. Like, seriously creepy. It's dark and every door I try to get out, they're locked or stuck, and I'm trapped. Sometimes Alex is there but he's weird, like he's a ghost or drugged. He's completely out of it. And then, then, I think you're there. I swear I can feel you but then it's all wrong and it hurts and I realize it's Bass."

She paused, not sure how to continue. She felt his fingers roaming over her back gently, a comforting gesture.

"He goes on about how you and him are the same and you're there but you're not because it's him but it's you too. He's forceful and then I'm tied down. The first time, I was having the baby. There were all these people - Hannigan and Julia and - and I was so scared that the baby wasn't going to be okay. Bass kept acting like everything was okay and he was supposed to be there. You weren't there. I kept yelling for you and you just weren't there. Then the baby was born and Bass gave her to Rachel. I tried fighting him and he stabbed me and that's when I woke up. Another time, it was just dark and I could hear a baby crying and Alex was crying and I couldn't find them and all I could hear was Bass in my ear saying that they were his and I would never see them. The worst one so far was he had me strapped to this table and he- he was cutting me open, like some sick c-section, and he acted like it was no big deal. Each one of them is so damn vivid and realistic. I don't know why after all this time this is happening."

"I think it's pretty obvious that you've got some issues."

"Thanks." she let out a slight laugh.

"You know what I mean."

"But the thing is, everything is fine." she kept her head down, kicking her toes at the chipped deck. "Everything is like it should be."

There was a thickness in her tone that he recognized when she was close to crying. One hand went up to her face and she gnawed on her index fingernail.

"Maybe it is now but it wasn't before." he pried her hand out of her mouth and wrapped his fingers around hers. "We never talked about it."

"We don't have to talk about it."

"So your nightmares about me abandoning you, losing the kids, and Bass torturing you are nothing that we should mention."

"It's in the past. It's not going to change it."

"You need to reconcile things though."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it was hard enough the first time." she whispered. "And I buried it because I couldn't handle it. I've had the dreams before - when we were separated. Not like this, obviously, but about Alex. I couldn't find him, or he was in the crib and I couldn't wake him up. I tried so hard to forget everything and ignore it. I think that's why I threw myself so hard into hunting and the rebels. I didn't want to be me. The farther I got from me, I didn't have to think about it. I wouldn't pay attention to what date it was. I didn't want to know if it was his birthday or our anniversary or whatever. I would just work and over time, it got a little easier. Then you showed up."

She paused for a moment, mind drifting back over the past year they had endured. She let out a soft laugh, shaking her head, and started to speak again.

"I swore I would not get caught up in you again. That lasted a few hours. I knew that if I even entertained the idea of us being together, I'd lose it. But that didn't work and I thought okay, fine. I tried to keep preoccupied with what needed to be done and told myself we weren't going to Philly because of Alex. We would get Danny and go. I would have to keep my mind on the mission and he could not come into play. It was like torture while we were there. Then, when you brought him, it was like seeing him for the first time again and I said to myself I wasn't going to let the bullshit get in the way. I really thought that we could do it. We were together, we had Alex, it looked like we would beat Bass. What more did I need? A lot of people don't get second chances. Why am I going to waste time and dwell on something that happened seven years ago? For a while it worked. Now it's not. I hate myself for acting like this. I'm happy with how things are."

"You can be happy and still be scared. You're scared it's going to happen again. There's only so much that you can take before all of this explodes. I get it. You had to go through something traumatic on your own."

"No, no. That's not what this is about."

"Nora,"

"I don't blame you. Miles, I don't." she turned slightly and grabbed at him, trying to make him face her. "I'm sorry that I did before. I'm not scared of you or think you're a bad person. I love you and I know how much you care about us."

"If I had been there, he wouldn't have been able to take Alex."

"It's not your fault. I was angry and hurting and needed someone to lash out at. It should never have been you."

"Some part of you thinks otherwise." he said quietly. She started to open her mouth but he shook his head and continued. "I'm not angry at you. I get it. I get it because I blamed you too. We were both in a bad place and handled it the wrong way."

"I blame myself. I still do."

"You shouldn't."

"I was the one who was there. I should have known."

"Baby, neither of us could have ever thought he would do something like that."

"I know but I was there. I should have heard him crying. I should have heard him come into the room and I slept through it. Someone took my child while I was right there."

"You were exhausted."

"So? I still should have heard it. I should have known something was wrong and woken up. He cried every time someone picked him up besides me. Every. Time. Even if he wasn't getting picked up or poked or whatever, he would have cried because he was hungry or needed to be changed and I didn't hear it. What kind of mother am I that I was so absorbed in what I needed, that I blocked him out?"

"That's not what happened."

"Then explain it because I can't! I can't other than to think that I'm an unfit parent."

"You should have been able to get some sleep and I should have been there to watch over both of you."

"It's not your fault."

"Then why is it yours? You're the lightest sleeper I know. You would have heard him. You hear him now if he rolls over the wrong way. Nora, he had you drugged for three weeks. Who's to say he didn't slip you something then?" he stared at her but she shook her head, not accepting any explanation. "I'm not a psychologist but I think it's pretty standard that when you go through something awful, you're going to be scared it's going to happen again. Like, I got hurt pretty bad during one of my tours. When I found out I was going to be stationed at the same base, I was terrified like hell that I was going to wind up with another broken leg or worse. Nothing happened to me, by sheer dumb luck. Or people get into car accidents and think they're going to have another one every time they get in a car. The last time we had a baby, it didn't work. I think we would be fucked up if we didn't think these things. Who's to say it's not going to happen again? But who's to say it will? I know nothing I say is going to erase any of these thoughts. It probably won't be until you're holding him or her and everything is fine that you're going to realize there's nothing to worry about. You don't have to be strong all the time. You can be scared."

"I'm terrified." the statement bubbled out in a sob as he pulled her against his chest. "I don't want to be like this."

"I know baby. It's okay. You can come to me."

"I don't want to burden you with this shit. I don't want you to think I'm -"

"Honey, believe me when I say there is nothing you could say that would piss me off. If you say something regarding me, I'm pretty sure I deserve it anyway. That's why I'm here. You don't have to go through this alone. I - I went through the same thing. I think the same things as you."

"Sometimes I forget." she wiped at her face, taking a few deep breaths to try and calm down. "I forget that you lost him too."

"It's okay. You were more involved. I was the bystander."

"No you weren't and it's not okay. You don't have to be strong either."

"So we can lose our shit together?" he smirked. "Who's going to be the level headed one?"

"At this point, I don't care."

"Alright, next time I'll break down too but for now, I'm okay." he lifted her face in his hands and scanned her expression carefully. "I don't know what I can do to fix things. I'm trying. Or I could try harder. We shouldn't brush things aside and pretend like they're not happening. But I want you to know a few things. One, we make awesome kids. Alex is strong and healthy and for all the shit he's been through, pretty well adjusted. This one is going to be no different. You don't have to worry about that and if you do, you've got the doctor to keep track and look on the ultrasound to assure you nothing is wrong health-wise. Two, I'm going to be glued to your side until April. Even after then. I'm already plotting to rig the baby with an alarm system in case one of us happens to look away."

He paused as she laughed and managed to form a partial smile. There must have been something in his gaze that alerted her to how serious his next point would be because she quieted down and gave him her full attention.

"Three, I love you. I know I don't say that enough or act like it a lot of the time but I do. I've loved you a long time and more than anyone else I've ever known. I don't have a right to say that I would never hurt you because I have in the past and I try every day to make sure I don't do it again. However, I'm not Bass."

She was quiet for a moment, digesting that information. She knew he wasn't Bass and she knew he was referring to the point of her dream where she couldn't distinguish the difference.

"I know you're not. I think that was more of how he would say you wouldn't care because you shared everything. I would never compare the two of you."

"Okay. I just- I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable if it was going to make you think of him."

"Miles, when I'm with you, he's the last thing on my mind. Remember, he touched me in real life. There are no similarities between you two. It's all about him. You like to give a lot more than he does."

"Good to know. Dreams have to have some kind of basis though. Like, I had a dream the other night that we were finally alone and we were making out and all of a sudden, you were literally pecking at me and I realized it wasn't you but a duck and - hey, don't laugh. It was terrifying and I woke up thinking what the fuck, but then I remembered earlier when we were at the park, Alex starting throwing pieces of his sandwich and the ducks starting converging on us for more."

"Poor baby."

"Ducks are scary. They hurt."

"Why do I get the feeling you know this from experience?"

"I was once Alex's age and also had the same thought of feeding animals."

"I won't peck you to death." she murmured, leaning in closer. He smiled slightly before she kissed him. They looked at each other, able to read the other perfectly, and knew what would be happening next.

"I'll make it all about you." he reached an arm back to flick off the porch light and thrust them into darkness. He started to recline her back but she made a noise of protest and pushed him up. She moved so she was on his lap and curled her arms around his neck.

"That's really uncomfortable right now." she explained, then lowered her mouth back to his.

"We don't have to right now."

"I want to. I need to. Especially after that moving speech of yours. Got me really worked up. Do you think anyone can see us?"

He groaned as she moved against him and shook his head as he roamed his fingers lightly over her.

"If they can, I don't give a shit."

"Me neither."