There were steep repercussions to tampering with a Dragon soul, and helping Gajeel had come at great expense to both mages involved; Bickslow choosing to put himself at risk and sparing the woman a violent death.
It wasn't something he was altogether familiar with. And he knew of most magics when it concerned the soul. She hadn't studied it from a book, or been taught. It was natural. Fluid. She did it without thinking about it. In fact, it seemed to be a magic of feeling more than anything.
That made it different, less invasive than seith magic, or takeover magic, but no less insidious; threading her power through someone's soul like a hundred thousand tiny hairs. Burrowing through them unseen. Capable of lacing these magic filaments with foreign feeling, or brief impulse or thought. He could scarcely imagine being able to change the emotion associated with a person, or a memory, even an event, and that was just the tip of it.
When Bickslow finished possessing someone they were free, some possible psychological trauma if he deigned to let them remember, but he could possess them only, he couldn't change them.
Her magic was made to linger. To seep in unseen and take up root, for good or bad. But as much as he'd been afraid she would do something to make him regret involving her, she'd done exactly as they'd asked. Expertly weaving the broken pieces of Gajeel's soul back together with pure threads of power. Absent of any emotion or command, save one. Unifying him. Though if he couldn't address his damaging mental state, how long that would last would be another thing. And Bickslow could tell she wouldn't be able for another attempt. She could put the pieces back together, but he was going to need to heal the rift himself.
Gajeel's Dragon Soul had taken a parting swipe at her, ripping free one of the pieces she'd woven into herself. A darker segment that had never fully joined with the rest. She should have died, but Bickslow had caught the fragment and held it back, trapped it in her. Three painstaking hours of acute magical drain hoping that when, if, she woke, she'd have the strength to pull herself together in much the same way she'd accomplished with Gajeel.
When she woke it wasn't with a groan or a scream. It wasn't with a sharp comment. It was with a quiet sob, and tears that seemed wholly out of place on a face that hardened. For the first time Bickslow clearly saw a child's soul buried in there. An Innocent magic that had been twisted by necessity. Corrupted by the tainted pieces she'd used to fill the spaces left after Calus had torn through her. Damaged and broken.
He took her by the wrist but she jerked her hand free as though he burned. He harrumphed. Unsure he appreciated the gesture of mistrust after the hours of effort spent keeping her alive. But he chided himself for it. He wasn't sure it would be reasonable to expect any other reaction.
She wasn't fully aware of where she was. A bed in a quiet and secluded corner of the guild infirmary. Eyes fluttering, she drifted in and out of consciousness. He leaned forward and lightly slapped her cheeks to wake her up.
"Wakey wakey," She groaned and batted his hands away. He turned her face to look at him. "I kept it from passing, but you've one more patch job to to do if you want to go chasing after dark mages," He prodded.
Her eyes focused on him and she started to hum, just to stop a scant second later. He literally saw her drain.
"Can't... feel it," She murmured drowsily.
She was too weak to detect it while his magic held on. The knowledge almost made him want to scream, because it meant this might have all been for nothing. The second he let go that piece of her was gone. He tapped her cheeks again, trying to put a bit more life into her, maybe if she just focused, she'd see it?
"You need to find it, sweetpea, if you don't, you're gonna die," There was only silence. Glazed eyes the colour of moss covered bark looked at him unseeing.
"You-you do it," She spoke, hesitating. The words were difficult to say.
"I don't know the first thing about how you do what you do. I'm a seith mage, not...a soul seamstress," He said and that dragged a much less sinister laugh out of her.
"Seamstress?" She smiled. "You don't need to know how, I'll know," She closed her eyes and stilled. He grunted in frustration and shook her but she didn't wake up this time.
He pondered what she'd meant when she told him 'she'd know' before the obvious struck hard and left him feeling incredibly stupid.
He slipped off his visor and set it on the bed before focusing, allowing his eyes to fall on the pieces again. Hoping this time would be different. His dolls buzzed around the room excitedly while he got to work. He was so incredibly tired but the fragments of her soul, this time, fell in line with him easily enough. Whether that was because she was too weak to resist or she'd done something to allow him, he'd no idea.
He got images of scenes from memories, painful and tortuous enough to make the gods themselves weep. Not just her own, but the soldiers and individuals that had been sucked into the well with her, only to find themselves prey to Calus, who'd survived in the darkness by ripping the good from the souls lost there. Stealing the thoughts and the experiences he thought might be of use to him; their memories of joy, the small lingering threads of happiness in their spirits; he used these to sustain his existence. Because as soon as you forgot what it meant to live, the well would have you, and you would fade to nothing.
But where he'd sought the sweetness of pleasure and contentedness, she'd taken their pain, woven their hurt and their anger and their tragedy into herself. The pieces Calus had no stomach for, she took. A child took. Because life was pain, too, and even she knew that. Joy was a feeling easily forgotten, while suffering changed you on every level.
So she'd changed where Calus had remained as he was.
Bickslow saw enough to pity not just her but the dark pieces of her soul too. He saw what kind of life it took to shape a child into a murderer, and sitting there at the side of the bed,he openly cried. The majority of Garron's forces had come from Atla; were mercenaries sold themselves, their loyalty, so completely that they may as well have been slaves. They were a terrifying people; a society that believed the cure for weakness was pain, disobedience; death. It was one that didn't distinguish adults from children.
The pieces had long since healed but the old threads she'd woven between those fragments of soul remained. When he touched them he felt all the emotions they had been laced with. Solace. Unconditional forgiveness. Empathy. Compassion. She'd reached out to all of those black souls and offered them a comfort they'd never felt. Showed them a glimmering light in the darkness. Some of these men had tortured her, personally; they'd murdered her parents in front of them, but she didn't hate them for it, she'd only felt pity, sadness. She'd seen them for what they were, their beings stripped bare in the well. Bickslow couldn't wrap his head around that. But when he thought about it, had Levy not done precisely the same when it came to Gajeel. Was this some sort of cosmic balancing act? The universe gave them Calus Vigna Sept but also gave them the McGardens. A line of descendants with so much light in their souls they could tame absolute darkness itself.
In the end, though, you can only give so much and she'd willingly let them take until even the brightest parts of herself were tarnished and stained.
Now that her and the missing piece were enveloped by the same power he watched the tiny threads draw it back into the whole. Its violent thrashing against his magic ceased and he watched its colour change from an inky black to a soft grey. Finding some manner of peace. A symbiosis of soul fragments. Although, this piece wasn't quite like the others. Never to ever fully heal. It was the weakest part of her.
With the missing piece locked in place he felt her power spike. The piece that had broken away had been the darkest. The hardest to reconcile. Its addition changed her entire aura. Gone were the tears. Gone was the vulnerability. Beneath the rippling surface the original childlike soul sunk. Buried.
He felt his control begin slipping as her power increased so he let go, feeling himself growing weaker. Much too taxed the last few days to bother showing off on this one.
Sitting back he watched her shift. Rolling onto her side and looking at him. A wicked edge to her expression he hadn't seen when she'd asked for his help. That last piece. Who ever that piece belonged to, it was an evil even she had difficulty with.
"How're you feeling?" He kept his voice even and devoid of emotion. Knowing enough to know that a perceived life debt wasn't going to endear her to anyone.
"I've no idea," She clutched at her head, raking her blunt nails across her scalp. The woman looked like Bickslow felt. "Can I go then?" The question daring him to go back on his word. He shrugged. Master Makarov had already given him the go ahead to let her leave.
"As soon as you're well enough to go, you can go. Mira has your things," He retorted.
She tried suddenly to sit up, casting the blanket off her and wavering but he stood up and forced her back to the bed.
"Like I said, when you're well enough."
Gajeel didn't even make it out of the guild hall before he had his hands on Levy. Pushing her into the dimly lit storage closet at the back of the empty bar. His kisses were hungry and fevered. His hands pawing at the hem of the T-shirt she was wearing.
He applied a little too much pressure pushing her back toward the cot and Levy hissed in pain, sucking in a breath. It stopped him dead in his tracks. He could tell she wanted to pull away so he moved slow. Inching the shirt up and exposing the bruising on her stomach. He coughed, choking on air at the sight of it. She pulled the shirt back down embarrassed.
"One of Calus' men punched me pretty hard. There's some internal soft tissue stuff Porlyusica says would be best left to heal naturally," Levy explained. "Considering all the injuries so far. It'll be mostly gone in a week," She tried reassuring him with a soft smile before she stretched up on her tip toes and planted a small kiss against his jaw.
Gajeel ran his fingers down her arms thoughtfully. Lost in his own head for a moment. During the time they'd both been together, they'd spent a distinctly proportionate time fighting for their lives and being injured. Gajeel grinned. They were certainly an interesting couple. He wanted something normal with her. Average. What Calus had shown him had been his greatest wish and his biggest fear rolled into one. He wanted a normal life, but he'd never even considered it to be a possibility until her. And then all of a sudden there are these possibilities opening up for him. An opportunity to be like everyone else. To be a somewhat good man. Maybe never great. Maybe only even a little decent. But the chance to be more, be better. To look someone in the eyes and see something other than distrust or fear there. He'd had his sickening fill of that.
Calus had played into the fear he had that that kind of life would never be possible because of what he was. He'd shown him an ideal future and made him fear losing it.
Terrified that the part of him that loved to kill, loved to fight, that niggling part of him that would happily bathe the streets in blood would would eventually hurt her again.
But from what Lily had said, that wild uncontrollable part of him wasn't without its own form of loyalty. He himself had trouble reigning it in, and here there was this tiny woman and she snaps her fingers and the beast rolls over. Like a puppy.
"How bout dinner?" He said suddenly. Levy took a second to catch on. She smiled deviously.
"Are you inviting out for dinner or are you suggesting you're going to gobble me up?" Her eyes burned and Gajeel held back the groan the self restraint he utilized, wanted to pry out of him.
"You ain't exactly big enough for a main course, Shrimp," He grinned wickedly. "But, we'll see...maybe for dessert?"
He heard her heartbeat flutter, her excitement filling his senses. Her smell tinged by arousal and a concoction of other tells. There was a lingering taint of worry. Of anxiety. But it was fading beneath the sweetness of relief and something else he wasn't able to identify.
"I really want pizza," Levy said and Gajeel smirked. She was an interesting woman, he determined.
"I'm offerin' to take you out and you want pizza?" He wanted to laugh at the way her face fell.
"I'm kinda hungry and I'm not exactly dressed for a nice restaurant with their tiny plates of overpriced food," The script mage explained sheepishly, worried he thought she was ashamed of him or something equally preposterous.
Honestly, Gajeel was just wondering where this woman had been all his life.
He'd never seen a creature as small, eat quite so much. She'd taken him by the hand and dragged him a short walk from the guild to a local pizzeria where the staff seemed to know her by name. Mages and towns folk stopped to cast her odd looks but she ignored him, and unwilling to ruin this, he didn't draw attention to it. She asked for two 'usuals' and the staff came out with a large pizza and two fries...before they came back, with a second large pepperoni pizza.
He looked at her.
"You'd eat all that by yourself?" He asked blankly. The large pizza would have easily fed four men. Maybe Natsu would have been able to finish it, but the fire Dragon Slayer's metabolism burned like a furnace. Gajeel was fairly sure food turned to ash before it even reached his stomach.
"Uh huh!" She said innocently downing her soda and following it up with a mouthful of curly fries.
"I'll believe it when I see it," He said disbelievingly. "You sure you should be even eatin' like that with yer insides all black and blue?"
She smiled at him pulling off a slice and taking a bite.
"Never stopped me before," She reasoned.
Gajeel took a slice of his own and started eating. It was pretty good he had to admit. Thin base, lots of cheese. Good toppings. He made it about half way before he started feeling like he might be reaching his limit.
Levy on the other hand was still going. He'd already started to sweat and she was currently stealing his fries. He couldn't work out where this was all disappearing to.
The waitress passed them refilling their drinks and saw the look on Gajeel's face.
"Don't feel bad, sweety," She looked at Levy and directed Gajeel up to the wall of fame where a much younger looking Levy was sitting in the center of an enormous empty pizza dish. It was so big she easily sat at its center with inches to spare all around. "This one has a reputation," She laughed.
"So, where've yah been hidin' this particular skill?" He mocked humorlessly.
She shrugged, her mouth filled with pizza. With her cheeks puffed out she looked insanely adorable.
Gajeel wasn't a quitter, but he knew defeat when it crossed his path. He might have been faster than her, stronger than her and taller than her. But she just wiped the floor with him.
"Well, I'm beat," Gajeel pushed his tray to the side, two slices left. He looked at her smiling face, pizza sauce had dripped and dried on her chin and she was leaning back, her hands resting on her stomach. Intently watching for signs of a sudden rupture, last piece of crust disappeared into her mouth and she sighed happily. Gajeel grunted, passing her a napkin and pointing to her chin. She flushed with laughter wiping at the stain.
And then her eyes seemed to glaze over, locked on something over his shoulder. Face paling and heart rate skyrocketing. Gajeel didn't turn around. He didn't have to. From the angle he could see the image of Jet and Droy pausing at the doorway before continuing inside.
"If you want me to disappear, I will," He leaned forward, speaking quietly. Automatically assuming that she might not want her team mates to see them together at the minute, but that didn't seem to be the case as she shook her head.
"It's... not that." She swallowed, breath shaky. " I said some stuff at the guild to Cana. Everyone kinda heard. I...haven't spoken to them since," She relented the information to him.
"What kinda stuff?" Gajeel asked. But she didn't respond. Droy and Jet now in hearing range.
"Hey, guys," She gave them a small wave. A casual smile on her face he knew she didn't feel.
"Oh hey, Lev!" Droy wasn't in anyway close to concealing his grimace behind the tight, tired smile he twisted his face into. He clearly hadn't had the practice Levy had at it. "We were just gonna order a pizza to go," He said. Cutting off any possibility that she'd ask them to join her.
Gajeel's eyes fell to Jet who didn't bother pretending to be anything other than distant. His expression cool. Levy noticed. How could she not? But she held the smile without a single falter. Not a twitch to hint otherwise. The tension only seemed to increase and Jet huffed beside his friend. His mood shifting from cold to angry. Gajeel could practically smell if off him. His nose was good but it was rare to pick up something like anger in a smell. Anxiety and fear were easier, they made you sweat. Anger, rage, sadness, they were far trickier to detect. It was only the second time in his life he'd ever caught the scent.
"Actually, you know on second thought, Porlyusica would probably kill me if she knew I was eating pizza, we'll probably see what Mira can rustle up at the guild," Droy seemed to sense Jet's deteriorating mood and made their excuses, practically shoving the speed mage outside before he said something that everyone regretted.
Gajeel was grateful, he was trying to prove he wasn't a total asshole and putting the prick through the side of the restaurant wouldn't necessarily do his reputation any favours. He watched them go and when he looked back to Levy she was wiping a few stray tears from her face.
"We should probably go, too. I think you were right. I think I ate too much. My ass is fat enough," She muttered trying to lighten the mood. Gajeel just stared at her. He wanted to ask her what she'd said to send her fan club running for the hills but he thought better of it. From what he remembered hearing, Lily had been there and would be able to tell him. Levy looked suddenly far too pale.
"Ain't nothing wrong with your ass, Shrimp," He reassured her. Whatever had happened just now had hurt her deeply. He knew put of everyone in the guild, she was closest to them.
They didn't speak leaving the restaurant and she was shaking by the time they'd stepped out into the chill air, trying to desperately hold back the sobs. They only made it as far as the corner of the restaurant when she turned away from the street and threw up in the nearest trash can, fresh tears streaming down her face. She wiped her cheeks, angrily rubbing at her eyes. Trying to drive out the expressions of her friends seared into her mind.
Gajeel waited, leaning against the alley wall while she tried to compose herself.
"It's cause I didn't tell them." Her voice was broken. "I've known them so long and I didn't tell them," She admitted ashamedly.
"They're only alive cause of that. If they'd known they'd have found a way to follow yah. And both of them would be dead. When they realize that, they're gonna feel pretty stupid. Let me tell you," Gajeel brushed the hair put of her face. Lily had told him pretty much the same thing about feeling stupid when the reality bit him. Wise words indeed from a flying cat.
She pondered what he said and it seemed to steady her. No doubt an angry and hurt Jet and Droy were substantially better than a dead Jet and Droy. She was a woman that knew how to live with the consequences of her actions and Gajeel could admit it wasn't just pizza eating she was better at. He'd still a few things to try and come to terms with; Bickslow had told him he couldn't keep blaming the Dragon Slayer part of him on his problems. They were all one and the same. He made his own decisions. He needed to make peace with that. The things that happened when he lost control, happened because he chose to relinquish it.
Levy looked to him beseechingly.
"Is-is there a back way we can take home," She murmured between sobs. "I don't want people to see me like this,"
Gajee smiled and stepped behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Sure thing, Shorty,"
And the pair disappeared into the shadows.
Notes
I don't think I can adequately express how I feel about the support you guys have shown me. I really don't know what to say.
XD
I think a heartfelt thank you to each and everyone of you! You've no idea how much the messages of support mean to me. I swear, I don't care what anyone says to me, I'm going to finish this story.
