So, my lovelies, here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy this one. There is not much going on in this one, just a bunch of much needed conversations. Thank you all for review, it means a lot to me! LokiWorshiper13: I'm just really glad that you are still reading this and are enjoying the story line! Thank you for reviewing.
Anonymous3:30: Thank you for reading and enjoying! I'm so glad you are enjoying this as much as I am writing it.
Well hello new comer "littlenerd" – Thank you so much, I'm glad you think so!
Marvel owns Loki and all remnants of Asgard. Loofney and Leera are mine
….
Loki was ripped form his sleep by the feeling on small feet digging into his back. Confused as to who was digging in him, Loki opened his tired eyes and rolled onto his back. Turning his head Loki found his son lying on his side with his legs out in front of his towards his father. Loki smiled and looked over to his wife whom was already awake, staring back. Both sliding up the bed into a sitting position, Loki leaned over his son and kissed his wife. "Good morning, my love." Leera sighed, pulling away from Loki and looked down at her sleeping son, stroking his head.
"Why is Loofney here, my love? I presumed he was used to his own bed by now" Loki replied, speaking quietly so as not to wake his son.
"He crawled in last night. He was terrified. He had a nightmare and asked if he could stay here for the night" Leera whispered back, still stroking her sons head.
"A nightmare? Of what, did he mention?" Loki inquired, frowning as he looked down at the sleeping figure.
"Oh…"
"Oh? What is it, tell me" Loki asked, crossing his arms.
"He dreamt of…Frost Giants, and of you, turning into one. Loki, do you not think it best to tell him now? Better sooner than later" Leera sighed, removing her hand from Loofney's head and resting it on her husband's arm. Loki groaned and closed his eyes, placing a hand on his face.
"I was dreading this day." Loki said solemnly. "I hoped for it to possibly be revealed to him, a few years from now. I suppose you are right. Maybe that is what he saw in me last night, then in his dream. He saw my true form. How will he even react to this, knowing that the monster he saw in his dreams was of his own race? This saddens me, Leera. I can only hope he will not hate me for it"
"Hate you? Why on earth would he hate you Loki. I will be with you when you tell him, if you so wish?" Leera replied and shot her gaze downwards and Loofney began to wake. Rubbing his sleepy eyes and stretching his small, thin legs, Loofney crawled into a sitting position and yawned. Looking up at his father, little Lokison crawled onto Loki's lap and sat down, resting his head on Loki's chest. Loki bit his lip and wrapped his arms around his son.
"Your mother tells me that you had a nightmare last night?" Loki said, little higher than a whisper and Leera scooted over closer to her husband. Loofney nodded in agreement and leant in further to Loki's chest. Loki sighed in defeat and pulled his son away slightly so that Loofney sat on Loki's lap facing him. Loki held his son steady by his sides and smiled. "Do you love your father Loofney?"
"Yes!" Loofney said, smiling widely and bounced on the Tricksters lap for a few moments. Loki smiled weakly and looked at his son. "Why do you look so sad father? Are you unhappy that I slept in your bed? I'm sorry"
"No, not at all Loofney. It is not because of that. Loofney, remember those blue people in your dream?"
"Yes, they were scary monsters!"
"No Loofney, they were not monsters…"
"They were father! They were so scary! They had red eyes and were trying to get me. I never want to see them again!" Loofney whimpered and shook his head in disagreement.
"Do you trust your father Loofney?" Loki asked, his stomach burning with guilt and pain.
"Yes Father, I trust you. I love you!" Loofney giggled and looked deep into the eyes of his father. Loki looked to Leera for support and turned back to his son.
"My love, those were not monsters. My father did not look like we do; he was a different race…Do you understand what that means; what a different race means?"
"Like us and mortals? We are different from each other? Your father was different? I don't understand. Grandfather looks like us" Loofney frowned, playing with his thumbs.
"Grandfather, is not my real father, Loofney. He brought me home to Asgard when I was just a baby." Loki replied, trying to speak as easily as possible to his son, so that he understood properly.
"Oh! Is he still my grandfather though?" Loofney inquired, looking to his mother. Leera smiled and nodded. "So who was your father? Was he a mortal?" Loofney asked excitedly.
"Loofney…those people in your dream…" Loki began but noticed his sons eyes widen and suddenly thought that his son was quite intelligent for his age it is understood at that moment what he was trying to say. Loofney crawled from Loki's lap and into his mother's lap, holding her hand.
"You father was a blue man?" Loofney asked, his bottom lip trembling. "That means you are a blue man!" Loofney's nose began to run and he slowly rubbed his eyes to stop tears from trickling down his face. "Am I a blue man, father?" Loki closed his eyes and nodded, his heart breaking instantly as he heard Loofney sob hard against his mother's chest. Loki said he was sorry to Loofney and rose from the bed, using his magic to dress himself and dashed from his room, feeling instantly ashamed, and so much like Odin that it hurt him.
…..
Loki rushed past the guards, tears of hatred trickling down his cheeks and he headed for Odin's chambers. Not caring for the time of day, Loki just wanted to see him, to spill his hatred on him, for his mother to see how much he loathed himself, how much he loathed his father. Reaching the royal chambers of the All-Father and the Queen, ignoring the warnings of the guards, Loki pushed open the doors with such force that they bounced against the wall and closed again without need of placing them closed. The loud crack of the doors hitting the stone walls echoed around the room and Frigga sat up gasping, looking terrified at her youngest son, standing in her room, his face dark. Shaking Odin's arm to wake him, Frigga never tore her eyes form Loki. Odin let out a sigh at being awoken so suddenly and focused his tired eyes to his wife, before following her gaze and sitting up right. "Loki, my son, what is the matter that you have come to our room in such haste?" Frigga asked, covering herself up as much as possible in the presence of her son.
Loki's eyes darkened and he stepped forward a few paces towards the royal bed, his fists clenching at his sides. Odin looked on confused. "I hate you" Loki snapped, his voice dripping with hatred as he glared at his father. Frigga gasped and moved from her bed, rushing to Loki's side. Grabbing Loki's arm and rubbing it gently Frigga spoke.
"Loki, why do you speak such hateful words towards your father? What has happened to make you so angered and trembling?"
"My son…" Loki's words dripped venom "…dreamt of monsters during his slumber this night gone. He dreamt of monsters of Blue skin and Red eyes…." Loki carried on breaking from his mother's grasp towards the side of the large bed on Odin's side. "…He now knows of my heritage, of what I am and what he is. It terrified him to the point of being unable to be near me and trembled, scurrying to his mother's breast. Do you know how that feels? If I had not been brought up to believe your stories that Frost Giants were murderous monsters, then things may have turned out differently. Yet, that is not so. I discovered whom I was through was and fear, and I loathed myself for it. I loathed you for not telling me the truth… no, not past tense, I do loathe you even now. And now, Loofney has discovered whom he is, what he is through fear, and has shied away from him, his father! He will hate me as much as I you, for this cursed knowledge, and I shall have to live with this on my heart and in my soul. He may come around and see that all is well, because of the age it was revealed to him, giving him time to adjust, but her will never, never see me the same, see himself the same. He will now and forever, just as I do now, know that he is a monster, and I hate you Odin, I hate you for taking me into your home, for leading me to live a lie, for making me loathe myself…" Loki cut off, his hands shaking and his eyes watering. Loki did not even realise that Odin now stood in front of him; all he could see was anger. Odin was not angry, not hurt from Loki's words of hatred. All he could see was his son's pain and it hurt him inside to know such things. It hurt him to see his son hurting.
Loki stumbled backwards, not wanting Odin to come any closer and Frigga rushed to his side to steady him. Loki lifted his hands up for her to know he was alright and tried to steady himself. Knowing Loki would not accept any help from her; Frigga moved to her dresser table and pushed her chair over slowly so it stood behind the Young prince, ready to catch him if he fell. "Loki?" Odin said walking forward.
"Do not come near me!" Loki spat and his head spun, stumbling, Loki flopped down onto the chair behind him and he groaned. Frigga dropped to her knees and placed a comforting hand on Loki's legs.
"My Son? Look at me" Frigga spoke and Loki shook his head, placing his face in his hands. Hating himself at this moment, allowing all the anger to surge through his body and attack his heart, Loki allowed the suppressed tears to fall down his cheeks, in a quiet sob.
"I do not want my Son to hate me; to hate himself" Loki whispered in between sobs. Odin felt his heart clench and he placed a hand on his sons back. Loki tried to move away but found that he had no strength and just slumped forward.
"He won't my love. You are a good father. He will grow up with a thankful and loved filled heart or you" Frigga replied. "Do you really hate yourself? Does this existence pain you so much that you wish for things to have been different?"
"I let go of the spear in Thor's hand on the Bifrost, not because I knew I would survive, because that I did not. I let go because I wanted it all to end…" Loki admitted and looked up at Odin, a tear sliding down his alabaster cheeks. "I meant what I said; when I told you it was for you, for all of us. But even then, at that moment of hurt and pain, your answer to me was still no. What good was life to live if all that I ever known to be was second best in your books, to always stay behind and picked up on when needed, those moments very rare. Thank the heavens that I met Leera when I did, otherwise my punishment would have been momentary." Loki pulled his gaze from Odin and returned to his mother's leaking face. Standing to his feet, Loki steadied himself and left his parents room without another word.
