A/N: Hi there. How are you? Doing well, I hope. Because this week's chapter is going to be…kind of strange. Not quite bringing aliens to the host club weird (That's just Tony. He's alright.), but weird. Even for the host club. And hopefully, I won't have to book with today's update like I did with yesterday's. My back's still killing me from that. Imagine 45 minutes straight of fast typing and being hunched over your keyboard. It's not fun. But enough of me bitching. Let's get into it.
It wasn't often I'd get decent sleep. I could get enough to function. But not all nights were so kind to me. I kept a bottle of melatonin in my nightstand for occasions like that. It worked like a charm. Don't get me wrong. However, when I do take melatonin, my unconscious mind likes to wander to really strange places. And because I had yet to master the art of lucid dreaming, this particular wander was even stranger. It's never a good sign when my melatonin dreams took me to the front door of the Ouran Host Club. So, my dear brain, what the hell are we doing here?
Something felt different about this trip to the host club. Like something was off. I couldn't put my finger on it. Oh, well. I'm sure it's not that big of a deal. As far as I'm concerned, this was just another trip to the host club. I'd get to hang out with my best friends and the best boyfriend I've ever had. What more could a girl want? Relax, Lana. You're overthinking things again. Stop it.
"Lana!" Haruhi ran down the hall to catch up to me.
"Hey, Haruhi," I smiled. My best friend had that effect on me, "Could I ask you a question?"
"Sure," she allowed, grabbing the door for us, "What's on your mind?"
"Ever get that feeling something's off?" I wondered, not letting this go, "Like something is wrong?"
"Like what?" Haruhi worried, "Are you ok, Lana?"
"I'm sure I'm fine," I did my best to shake it out of my head, "Don't worry about it. It's probably anxiety talking."
"Ok," she nodded, "Well, are you ready to face our lovable band of weirdos?"
"Absolutely." All I needed was a little time in the host club. Nothing else could put my head back on straight quite like it. However, I couldn't help myself. I approached with caution.
Alright…Hikaru and Kaoru were off by themselves, being borderline incestuous. Business as usual. Honey was still asleep in Mori's lap. Nothing out of place here. Haruhi was already on table setting duty. And frantic as ever. Typical Haruhi. Things seemed pretty normal. If that was the case, then why did everything feel off? Maybe because our boyfriends had yet to show up. It's not like Tamaki and Kyoya to be late like this. But then, there they were. Almost out of nowhere. They could be ninjas like that once in a while.
"Hi, honey," I beamed, already feeling better. It's nice when he can bring me back down to earth.
"Hi, Senpai," Haruhi chimed in, also noticing her boyfriend coming in.
"Lana!" Tamaki threw his arms around me, holding me tight, spinning me around to the point where I may puke.
"Hello, Haruhi," Kyoya snaked an arm around Haruhi's waist, kissing her forehead. Wait…Hold on…What the hell? There's what felt off.
"Kyoya," I squeaked, "What the hell?"
"What do you mean, what the hell?" Haruhi wondered, her hand on Kyoya's chest, "You were there when Kyoya-senpai and I started dating, Lana."
"I was?" I thought back. I know there was a party. And a library…I always thought Haruhi would end up with Tamaki. That she would fall hopelessly into his arms and never come out of them. Does that mean…If Haruhi fell into the arms of his best friend instead, does that mean…?
"Because on the same night," Tamaki kissed my cheek, "You and I started seeing each other. On a more official level. Don't you remember? Oh, you were beautiful that night, Lana. You always looked so nice in red."
I didn't wear red that night. I wore blue and green and as much as I adore Tamaki, there's no way we would've worked. He's too spastic and spontaneous. Or maybe…It's a case of opposites attracting. I don't understand it, but it's possible. I guess it won't kill me to explore this. I mean, Tamaki is my boyfriend, right?
"Ok," I gave in, not a hundred percent sure which way was up anymore.
"You're so cute, Lana," Tamaki gave me one earth-shattering, leg twitching kiss, "Now, I think it's time we open the host club. Don't you think?"
"Ok…" I think my knee just gave out. Fortunately, the princely type was living up to his expectations.
"Do you need to sit down, sweetheart?" he offered, wheeling his throne up for me, "You're more than welcome to sit on my lap if you'd like."
"Yeah," I nodded, making myself comfortable on Tamaki's lap. Don't get me wrong. This was nice, but it didn't mean it was right.
"Hikaru, Kaoru!" Tamaki called for the twins, "Push us over by the window!"
"Why should we?" the twins scoffed.
"You're more than capable," Hikaru started.
"Of getting up and doing that yourself," Kaoru finished.
"I also have Lana on my lap," Tamaki defended, cradling my face in his hands, "If she's not feeling well, then who am I to leave her side? What kind of boyfriend would I be?"
Alright. Something about hearing that from Tamaki felt unholy. That was a Kyoya line. I could practically hear it in his voice. And for some reason, it had a twinge of an English accent to it, too. But that's here nor there. I wasn't sure what was happening or why, for that matter, but this…This wasn't right. And I didn't understand why. Just something about the whole situation made my stomach turn. Was I actually coming down with something? I didn't even realize that the twins had already brought us to Tamaki's section.
And so, another day of the host club began. All of the girls flocked to their respective hosts and I stayed with mine. I didn't understand this, but maybe I wasn't meant to. Isn't that how all the great love stories go? Why should Tamaki and I be any different? I guess we weren't. Although, the next hour and a half of my life would prove to be a living hell for someone like me.
"Good afternoon, ladies," Tamaki gushed, showing me off as much as he could, "Have you all met my girlfriend, Lana? Is she not the best?"
"She's so cute, Tamaki," one of the girls chimed in.
"Yeah," another took over, "Especially how she's all curled up in your lap."
"It's like you really see her as your own."
"Yes, it's true," Tamaki coddled me a little more, turning up his host charms, "She is quite adorable, isn't she? She's definitely Daddy's little girl. Honestly, I don't know what she'd do without me sometimes."
Ok. Ow. Unnecessary jab at me was unnecessary, "I'd probably manage. It'd be a little harder, but I'd manage."
"She may be a little lost puppy," he went on, absentmindedly playing with my hair, "But she's my little lost puppy. And she's my everything."
Alright, Tamaki. You're starting to venture into special voice territory. And that's when I'll want to punch you square in the throat. I'm not nearly as invalid as you seem to think I am. I'm not totally dead weight. Yet all these girls kept oohing and ahhing over how Tamaki was practically a superhero for doing this. He wasn't doing nearly as much as what they thought he was, yet they thought him a god. They saw me as a charity case more than anything else and completely forget that I'm still a person. And Tamaki was soaking up the attention like a sponge.
"Now, Lana," Tamaki sat me up better, "How are you feeling? Any better?"
"I guess," I shrugged him off.
"Well then," he nudged me off his lap, "If you're feeling up to it, do you think I could trouble you for a dance?"
"Really?" I gave him a look, "Right here and now?"
"Aww…" Tamaki hugged me tight, "Look at you, being all shy. You're so cute, Lana! Of course, right here and now. What better time?"
"Um…" I looked over Tamaki's shoulder at Kyoya and Haruhi. They looked so happy. Like, genuinely happy. And my heart ached in my chest. I wanted that. I needed something like that. Someone that treated me as an equal, not a lesser. Someone that understood me rather than took credit for my recovery. Someone that I could have an intelligent conversation with instead of being talked down to like this. Tamaki tries, but…What was I thinking?
"What's wrong, Lana?" Tamaki picked my chin up.
"It's nothing…" I didn't have the energy to explain it to him. What was the point? I just wanted to get this thought and feeling out of my head. I know I'm with Tamaki here, but…I wanted a Kyoya instead.
When I woke up, I looked over my shoulder and got my wish. My boyfriend sleeping soundly next to me. Without another thought, I curled into Kyoya's chest. Granted, it's six in the morning and we had to get up anyway, but I just wanted a few minutes like this. Was that too much to ask for? I put my hand on Kyoya's chest, looking down at the pretty sapphire he put on my finger. I just want to shake that idea out of my head.
"Lana…?" Kyoya woke up, his voice a bit raspy. He wrapped his arms around me, "Is everything alright?"
Just that I had a dream you were dating my best friend and that I was dating your best friend, "Yeah. Everything's fine."
"You're lying to me, Lana," he gave me a little kiss, "You know I can tell these things. Bad dream, sweetheart?"
"You could say that," I shivered.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Kyoya offered, running his fingers down my back.
"Not particularly," I assured, "I'd rather forget it ever happened."
"Alright," he looked over at the clock, "I can't see…"
"It's 6AM," I rolled my eyes, "We need to go to class."
"I don't know," Kyoya thought, "Maybe we could stay here for a little while. I mean, we don't have to go to class."
"Yes, we do," I pointed out, "You have a design project to work on and a Yuzuha to please and I have to get to my creative writing class. We'll be alright. I'm sure."
"And you promise me," he took my hand, "that if it gets bad today…If this dream you had that bothered you so much tries to seep into your thoughts, call me. Talk to me."
"I will if you will," I retaliated, stretching up for another kiss. And I swear to God, I felt Kyoya smiling.
"Promise," Kyoya swore, "But only if you lay with me for…another half hour."
"Deal." Who was I to turn down something like that? I couldn't. Not with a clean conscience. I'm sure that I could stand to be a few minutes late for my creative writing class. Professor Lewis understands. And I'm pretty sure I'm one of his favorite students. Hell, half the time, he's not even on time, so he has no room to talk. Professor Lewis hates a hypocrite.
When we finally did get out of bed, I was damn near late for class. I took my usual seat in the middle section of seats off to the side closest to the door. The usual other faces trickled in shortly after I did. My stomach let out a little bit of a grumble, knowing there was a box of donuts on the other side of the office door. There always was. Professor Lewis had a sugar addiction and if there weren't any, the whole class could tell. He'd get very bitchy very quick.
"Alright, my favorite group of miscreants…" Speak of the devil, "So, it's getting to be that time of the year again. Exams are coming up in a couple weeks. Then, you'll all be able to enjoy the time with your families, listening to political opinions you didn't ask for and questions about your love life you don't want to answer. My exam is going to be a three-hour soul search in the form of a short story. To make things go quicker, you'll all be provided with a laptop, if you do not bring one. Although, I highly suggest bringing your own. I'm pretty sure those laptops are older than I am. Can we do it? I'm almost positive of it. Writing a short story is cake. If you come in here with a relative idea, you'll have no problem. If you want me to give you a prompt, I can. Aside from that, we're going to spend every class up until the exam doing short stories. If you think of this like running a mile, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. So today, your prompt is something missing. You can either take that literal or metaphorical. Either way. Go nuts. We'll check back in an hour to see if you're still alive. If you need me, I'll be in and out of my office."
Something missing, huh? It's almost like Professor Lewis knows me. I did happen to have something missing. I had a hole in my heart and no idea on how to fill it. I love my friends. I love my boyfriend. I love my sister. I'm happy where we are. Yet, something was still missing. It's just an assignment, Lana. Don't overthink it. That's what gets you into trouble.
A/N: Honestly? Relatable. I've had that empty feeling a lot lately, too. Writing's been an uphill struggle for me. I thought I got some good news yesterday, but it turns out it was someone trying to screw me and not in the fun way. It sucks getting a little bit of hope only for it to be snuffed out. I haven't really had much energy to do anything lately and getting updates out has been its own miracle. So, I'm still here. Just not as much as I'd like to be, if that makes any sense. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go over here and try to take care of myself. See you next chapter. xx
