Chapter 29: Dead Memories
Sarah gripped the bathroom sink and forced herself to look in the mirror. Her face was red and streaked with tears. Her long brown hair was an absolute mess. And didn't those two words just describe her down to the letter. Sarah's mind had been in chaos since she'd spoken with Dean the night before. She'd confirmed his worst fears. That he would turn into a demon after a prolonged stay in Hell. That he would turn into something that he hated the most. That he would turn into her.
But what really hurt the most? Dean had said if he was honest with her, it was Evelyn he was in love with not her. And that he was sorry he used her. It was over, period.
Sarah had never felt this out of control. Human feelings bubbled up inside her and threatened to burst her open. She loved Dean as much as a demon could love anything. But it would never be enough. And that was the killer wasn't it? She would never be human. Never be normal. And Dean wanted a nice normal woman to love.
A sharp knock came at the door and Sarah frowned at the interruption. She just wanted to be alone in her despair. But when the knock came again a few minutes later she dragged herself to the door and opened it.
Shock. That was a good word to describe her reaction to what lay beyond the door to her motel room.
"What the fuck..." she managed, stepping away from the doorway.
"Nice to see you too Sariel." a charming British voice said. The man that stood before her was gorgeous and a face she hadn't laid eyes on in centuries. He had short chocolate brown hair but not so short as to lose the soft wave that came naturally. He wore a charcoal grey suit with a crisp white shirt without a tie. But it was his eyes that stood out. His exquisite eyes where a deep sky-blue and it was hard not to get distracted by them.
"Are you going to invite me in Sariel?" he reminded her with a smile that reached his eyes. Sarah stepped aside and ushered him in. He strolled past her to the couch and sat down. Graceful wasn't usually a word you use to describe a man but he was graceful yet masculine at the same time. He adjusted his suit carefully before glancing back at her.
"Come sit with me Sariel." Sarah swallowed hard before approaching him. He gently patted the seat next to him but she shook her head and chose a less comfortable chair across from him.
She stared at him unable to decide what to say. Apart from Lucifer himself, he was the last person she expected to knock on her door. The most obvious reason being that she had been certain he was dead.
"Are you going to say something my dear Sariel?"
"Stop!" she yelled, "Please just stop saying that name." The smile left his face at the first sight of her anger.
"Sariel is your true name." He replied calmly.
"Please just stop Leviathan. I do not wish to hear that name ever again." Sarah placed her head in her hands and stayed that way until strong hands lifted her.
"I've never seen you in such despair." Leviathan whispered pulling her into his arms. Sarah wrapped her arms around him and drew in the familiar scent.
"I've missed you Leviathan."
"As I you." He tenderly stroked her hair and she sighed involuntarily. "What would you have me call you if you have forbidden me from using your real name?" Leviathan inquired.
"Couldn't you have just asked if I have another name?" Sarah joked.
"Touche." He answered. Sarah pushed away from him and gazed into his stunning blue eyes. Leviathan's face and body was that of a young man no more than thirty but those eyes held the weight of centuries of knowledge.
"Why are you here?"
"I've heard some very troubling things about you." Sarah moved away from Leviathan, wary of him for the first time. They may have been friends and lovers once upon a time but that was centuries ago and no one knew better than her how much someone could change over time. She couldn't afford to be naive.
"I never thought you were the gossiping type." She turned away from him and walked over to the mini bar. Usually she always kept a knife on her person at all times but tonight she had let her guard down. She'd stupidly let her feelings get in the way of common sense.
"I'm not. But this particular gossip appealed to me." Sarah turned her head slightly so that he knew she had heard him.
"Spit it out Leviathan I'm not in the mood for your theatrics." There was a dagger hidden in the gap between the mini bar and the counter top but she didn't dare reach for it yet. If he was there to harm her then this would undoubtedly aggravate him before she got any useful information out of him.
"Are you aware that there is a price on your head?" Sarah snickered in response as she knelt down and opened the fridge. As she reached into the fridge for a beer she slide her right hand over the top and scooped up the knife. After carefully slipping it into the waist band of her tight black jeans she stood and turned back to Leviathan.
"Would you like a beer?" She asked. His cerulean eyes focused on her for a moment before he nodded. She turned back to the mini bar, setting her own beer down on the counter top. Before she had a chance to bend down again Leviathan was against her back. His hand covered her own, pinning them to bench. Leviathan's strength was greater than any human but she was stronger.
"I hope you weren't thinking of using that knife on me Sariel." He said with his lips against her ear. Sarah continued to allow him to restrain her in the hope that he would reveal his purpose sooner.
"You know I don't need a knife." She retorted. Leviathan released his grip on one hand and slowly reached into the top of her jeans to retrieve the blade she had hidden. He tossed it to the side before returning his attentions to pinning her down.
"Some say that you've taken Dean to your bed. And that's not even the most shocking rumour." Sarah forced herself to remain silent. "I've heard you're in love with him." He finished.
Sarah compelled herself to keep quiet as Leviathan breathed against her neck. His breath was a scorching reminder of times long past, times when she wasn't burdened with Evelyn Grey's memories.
"Do you love him?" He asked. Interesting question. Did she really love him? Or was her fondness for Dean just a remnant of Evelyn's mind? However the reason didn't matter. It was too late for reason.
"That, my dear Leviathan, is none of your business." He chuckled at the mockery.
"How curious."
"Jealous?" Again he laughed.
"Hardly." Leviathan freed her and pulled her hair away from her neck. He laid a few soft sensual kisses along the side of her throat before continuing, "Remember the things we used to do?"
It was a question she didn't need to answer out loud. Of course she remembered every detail of their affair centuries ago. It was one of the reasons she had been hunted down and dragged into the Pit.
"We were together for nearly 200 years Sariel. I know your body like no other." His hands moved over her hips and stopped at the bottom of her t-shirt. Leviathan's fingers lifted the hem and made lazy circles on the exposed skin at the top of her pants. Her body remembered his touch and responded to it even as her mind willed it not too.
"That was a lifetime ago Leviathan."
"Yes it was." he whispered against the quickening pulse on her neck.
"Stop that." Sarah was getting fed up with the games. She wanted to know why Leviathan was here, now. But most of all? She didn't want to succumb to his charm. Not this time.
"Liar." His laugh danced along her spine and held the promise of so many things.
"I know." She replied, her voice barely louder than a murmur. Leviathan took this as an invitation to turn her around to face him. His eyes searched hers before he leaned in. With his lips dangerously close Sarah thought about giving in. He could sooth her broken heart. He could make her forget Dean for just one night.
"Such sorrow in your eyes Sariel." His lips brushed hers in a feather light touch that heated her body from head to toe. "Sariel."
Anger flared at the continued use of her true name. A name that reminded her of where she'd come from. A name that she just wanted to forget. Sarah's eyes flickered from their natural brown to demonic yellow as she unleashed her wrath.
Sarah used her considerable strength to push Leviathan away. He fell back onto the small round table with a thud and immediately let out a throaty laugh.
"You need to remember your place Leviathan. You need to remember that I am your master."
"You haven't been my master for centuries my dear." Sarah lifted her right hand and thrust her power into her former lover pinning him to the table. Surprise flashed across his face at the sudden fierceness of her actions.
"No more games Leviathan. Tell me why you're here." She could tell he was thinking of another smart comment to come back at her with but that soon disappeared when she pushed more energy into his body. To his credit only his striking eyes betrayed that he was in pain, his pride demanded nothing less.
"You made me Sarie..." Sarah again let him feel her metaphysical strength as another gentle reminder that she was his dominant.
"My name is Sarah."
"Okay." He struggled against her invisible hold but it was in vein.
"Tell me why you're here. I don't want to hurt you but I won't ask again."
"You have no idea what it was like for me after you were caught. I'd just lost my master, my friend." He paused, "My lover."
Abruptly she freed Leviathan and allowed him to sit up.
"I managed to hide. I had enough tricks up my sleeve to stay alive. I wasn't quite prepared for the pain of being separated from the being that had created me."
"I didn't create you Leviathan. You existed before you met me."
"No I didn't, not really. I was nothing. You made me into something. If that's not creation than I don't know what is." She met his eyes and saw only truth so she decided to return the favour.
"When I was in Hell, I thought about you a lot. Thought about how you would have lived a normal human life if you had never known I existed. I realised that what I did to you was incredibly selfish. I didn't think about what would happen to you when they finally caught me." Leviathan stared at her, shocked at her frankness. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't be sorry. We were both naive."
"You never answered my question."
"In truth, I don't know exactly why I came. I heard many unconfirmed reports that you were back and I was compelled to see if it was true. I thought if we could see each other then we could be as we were."
"We can never be as we were."
"Because of him..."
It would be so easy to fall into his arms. To forget the last ten centuries ever happened and pick up where they left off. But in ten centuries a lot had changed. She had changed. Dean Winchester might not want to be with her but she still loved him. And she had to do whatever was necessary to get him out of that deal. That had to be what mattered right now. Sarah refused to leave him to a fate far worse than death. For she knew exactly what awaited him in the Pit and eventually it would break him. She couldn't bear the thought of him slowly turning into a demon. She would take down every damn demon before she let that happen. She would sacrifice anything and everything.
