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Part Two | Pain & Fire

Twenty-Nine. Flecks of Silver & Gold


Before, it was a truth she hadn't properly acknowledged, perhaps because it hadn't an end date.

Until now.

Now it was definite and their plans were calculated and deliberate and being meticulously thought through.

They were leaving.

Pansy looked around her living room, at each face in turn. The people she trusted most in the world were sitting right beside her, and her plans were their plans. And if nothing, she still had them, and for that she felt gratitude.

It was the gratitude that she focussed upon. Gratitude was far safer than the unknown and held much greater appeal than the certain torture and probably death that awaited them were something to go wrong.

Neville's arms had remained around Pansy's shoulders, and even when the group sat back down, he held her as close to him as possible. His resolve was, as it usually was, strong and steady, but Pansy knew from the rigidity of his jaw and the small worry lines that surrounded his features, that even if he didn't realise it, he was holding her as much for himself, as he was for her.

Her gaze eventually settled on Daphne and Blaise, noting their positions, that were almost a mirror image of hers and Neville's, and Pansy didn't know whether to feel uplifted, that this new obstacle would be tackled with Daphne and Blaise by her side, or more angry at the sheer unjustness of their situation. It was absurd, in many ways, that they, not yet adults, were having to plot this way, secretly, to leave what should be a refuge, leave the one place that should have remained protected, solely because none of them agreed with the depraved leadership of a psychopath.

Theo had been the first to speak, and he clapped once, into the quiet. "Alright folks, we need a plan."

He was right, of course, they did need a plan, but coming up with the execution of said plan was more difficult than any of them could have fathomed.

At first, they were considerate; one of them would talk, stating a suggestion or asking a question, and the others would answer with what they thought best. This didn't last, and before long the room was filled with a terrible din of voices, none of which particularly legible.

"ALRIGHT!" Draco suddenly roared into the crowd of friends. "WILL YOU NOISY FUCKERS SHUT UP!"

The result was instantaneous, as all eyes were suddenly drawn to the Head Boy.

"Alright mate," Theo began with a snort, "no need to shout."

Draco shot him an exasperated look, before turning his attention to the rest of the group. "Right, we need to decide three things." At this, he brought his left hand upwards and raised one finger for each point he made. "When, where and what does anyone need to do before they leave?" At that point his eyes met Neville's, who nodded once, gratefully.

Daphne cleared her throat. "Can't we just walk out?"

"No," Draco replied, simply, "I can, and possibly Pansy, as the Head Boy and Girl are automatically granted more privileges even with the magic of the grounds, but the rest of you won't be able to just leave. I know that Snape himself made sure that extra security measures were put in place to keep students on the grounds. I imagine he knew a fair few students would wish to leave.

Daphne's mouth was hanging open at Draco's words. "So, we're trapped?"

"Right now, yes, but you're forgetting that next week, the barriers will be lifted, enough to get to the train, at least."

Draco's eyes trailed over each of the others in turn, when no one spoke, he began again. "Daphne, Blaise, Millie, Theo and me are all supposed to get on the train. None of you can board it, I'd bet a lot of gold that you two," he nodded at Blaise and Theo in turn, "will be met by Death Eaters and taken to my house."

"But, if we can't board the train..." Daphne whispered.

Draco turned to face her. "I think the four of you should go down with the other students as planned, but duck out before the train and get to Hogsmeade, from there you'll be able to apparate."

"Sounds...simple," Theo replied.

"It will be," Draco answered, "as long as you aren't seen."

Pansy saw Daphne swallow hard at his last words before she turned her attention back towards Draco, who had turned his face towards her and Neville, whose arm had remained around Pansy's shoulder, his hand still gripped her tightly throughout Draco's entire speech.

"As for Pans and Longbottom, that'll be trickier, because neither of them are on the list of those going home from the holidays, so you can't be seen leaving the castle. I think you'll need to leave at night, but maybe a few days later. If the Dark Lord finds out that Theo and Blaise aren't there, he'll suspect something is up, if the Carrows tell him Pans is still here, it takes some heat off. I'll find out what you'll need to do to get past the gate before the rest of us go," he added.

"What about you, mate," Theo asked, his dark eyes were narrowed as he watched his best friend.

Draco brought one hand up to grab the back of his own neck. "I need to go home, first."

"But-" Pansy began before Draco interrupted her.

"If I don't show, my mother will be executed," he said flatly.

Nobody spoke.

"Okay," Blaise broke the silence, eventually. "Daph, me, Millicent and Theo get to Hogsmeade instead of boarding the train, and apparate away from there. Pansy and Longbottom will leave in the night a few days later and apparate to meet us, and Draco you'll join us later."

"Yes," Draco replied, I need to make sure my mother can get out, before they can even suspect that I'm not loyal to him."

"Okay," Blaise replied, "I believe next on your list, was where."

Draco nodded. "Right, we need to decide where to go."

"If we can leave the country, I can make sure we have a place in France, or Italy," Blaise said.

Draco frowned and shook his head. "I know they've banned international apparition."

Daphne's eyes were wide. "They can do that?"

"They control everything the Ministry has the power to do."

"Shit," Theo mumbled.

"I think staying in Scotland is our best bet," Draco ventured, "anything South is just closer to them, and the highlands are so sparsely occupied, it should be easier to hide, as long as we constantly have cloaking spells and shit covered."

"Wait," Daphne was looking positively horrified, her voice already bordering on hysterical, "please tell me we aren't going to have to sleep in some sort of tent?"

"Now's not the time for a Daphne Drama!" Theo, Millicent and Pansy said simultaneously, resulting in a collective chuckle from Draco, Blaise, who briefly kissed Daphne on the cheek, and Neville.

Daphne scowled. "You won't be saying that when we're sleeping on the ground," she hissed the last word as though it caused her physical pain.

"Alright, next?" Theo asked Draco. "What we need to do before we leave?"

"Yeah," Draco said. "We won't be coming back, so anything that needs put in order, needs to be done. Longbottom, that probably applies to you more than anyone."

Neville, who had remained mostly silent since they began the discussion, nodded. "I'll need to make sure everyone is capable...when the time comes."

"What will you tell them?" Daphne asked.

Neville shrugged. "The truth, not everyone. But I owe a couple of them that, at least."

"That's fair enough."Draco nodded stiffly. "Daphne, what about Astoria?"

"I've already decided I'm going to tell her to get to mum, and go into hiding. I don't think she should return after the holidays."

The others nodded in agreement and a collective and estranged sound of relief filled the room. Pansy couldn't bring herself to think of anything happening to Astoria or Freyja, and forced the thought to the back of her already full mind, where another immediately took its place.

"Draco," Pansy swallowed, "I don't want to leave Winky behind."

She had expected laughs and looks of derision, but no one did either, and Pansy was surprised when Draco shook his head and simply said "Me neither."

"Did Miss Pansy call for Winky?" A familiar voice rang through the living room.

Pansy let out a sigh, hoping that the elf would agree to leave with them, if it were even possible, and if, ultimately it wasn't, Winky at least deserved to know why she wouldn't see she or Draco again. "Yeah Winky, come in, you should be a part of this."

As it turned out, Pansy needn't have worried, for Winky, rocking back and forth slightly on the balls of her feet, quickly became intensely excited about the prospect of being on the run with seven teenagers.

"Ohhh, Winky will need to get food, and drinks, and washcloths in order, undetectable extensions are going to be needed, yes they are. Winky will sort you all something to eat and then start the preparations right away, yes she will."

"And you won't get in trouble...for leaving?" Theo asked, "if any of my father's House Elves just left, they'd suffer."

"Winky is bound to the Head Boy and Girl, Mr Theo," Winky replied, "Miss Pansy and Mr Draco are currently the equivalent of Winky's owners, you see? Also, since Dobby came to work for Hogwarts, each elf has a proper contract, oh yes we do. Not many of us wish to use it, no, we do not, it is not the House Elf way, but, Winky must admit, it will come in handy, for this."

"Well, that's good, Winky, welcome aboard," Theo replied, and Pansy couldn't help but smile, imagining their faces if she'd told Draco and Theo five months ago that they'd be planning to run away, with a rogue House Elf in tow, a House Elf that they hadn't instructed to come, but asked, and respected enough to want with them simply because they wished her to remain safe.

This year has changed us all.


"Well, that went...relatively okay," Neville murmured into Pansy's ear, a few hours later. They were sitting on the edge of Pansy's bed, having not long said goodbye to Blaise, Daphne and Theo. "What did you say to Daphne, by the way? She gave me this smile that, quite frankly, made me nervous."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Pansy said flippantly as she allowed her head to drop to the side, to rest on Neville's shoulder.

"Hmmm," Neville clearly wasn't convinced, but he let the matter slide, opting instead to reach his arm around Pansy's shoulders. He pulled her into him and settled himself a bit further back on the bed, enabling him to turn more fully, and wrap his other arm around Pansy also, encasing her in a hug that, until that moment, she'd had no idea how much she'd needed.

He had initially prepared to leave, and Pansy, as much as she'd wanted to, didn't tell him to stay. However, her face must have given her away, really must get my bitch face back up to scratch, and he had studied her for a moment before declaring that he'd think of something to tell the others tomorrow.

"You don't have to," Pansy had whispered, not trusting the wobble in her voice as the reason they were leaving, the notes, the laid out plan for her to take the Mark, and Snape's casual instruction that the Carrows could murder Neville, all washed over her again like a wave, as though she were learning the information for the first time.

"Yeah, I do," Neville replied. "Let's go to bed."

Somehow, the day had rolled into night and Pansy hadn't realised how exhausted she really was.

She wrapped her arms around him in return, and together they sat upon her duvet, the severity of what they had learned that day feeling as though it was circling them. And Pansy didn't wish to think of it anymore, she wanted to forget and for that, she needed to feel.

She swallowed. "Neville?"

"Hmm?"

"Kiss me."

She was ready for his mouth to crash against hers, but that wasn't how he chose to act on her instruction. Instead, he danced his fingertips lightly over her back, before trailing them upwards, where he balled fistfulls of her hair whilst pressing his forehead into hers.

"I wanted this to be better," he mumbled.

Huh? "What?" Pansy blurted.

"Better place, better...circumstances, but maybe those things don't matter. Because I don't just want you to know, now. I need you to know."

"What are you-"

He positioned her face directly in front of hers, his hands residing at the side of each of her cheeks. "I love you."

Oh. Her eyes pooled with tears as the emotion of the magnitude of the day, now both bad and good, broke forth from her resolve.

Her "I love you, too," was said through cries of fear and uncertainty, but also sheer and unrelenting happiness.

"Hey," he whispered, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe tears from her face, "loving me isn't that bad, is it?"

She managed a laugh, it was small but it was genuine, and it was for him. Because everything is for him.

He smiled, and Pansy used her own fingertips to trace the path his smile seemed to take to reach his eyes.

"Huh, that's funny" she said as she moved the pad of one of her own thumbs back and forth on his temple, "your eyes have flecks of silver in them," she shot him as much of a smirk as her emotional state would allow, "how very Slytherin."

"Do you know what else is funny?" he asked.

"What?"

"Yours have flecks of gold."

She opened her mouth to retort something irrelevant and sarcastic, but her words were snatched by him as quick as they began to materialise. The grip of his hands on her head intensified and his whole body shifted forward, into hers and he breathed deeply and looked at her with the fierceness only he was able.

Then, he kissed her.