Hey guys, now first off I apologize that this isn't a chapter, but is indeed an update. Nothing story related, but mostly my life related. Now, for those who don't know, I am still in high school and stress occasionally builds up on me with both school work and family. And I thought I would probably be able to get out that stress, but it apparently latched back onto me. I don't if I was open about this, but near the end of the first semester my freshman year, my parents decided to get a divorce. The big mistake those two made was fine other people right away, which quite honestly heavily screwed with their heads, especially my mom's. The second semester of that year was just being affected by my family and living situation. I was absolutely not used to living in two homes, it both frightened me and made me uncomfortable. I come to get used to it over time. Let's jump a few months into sophomore year where I wasn't as miserable as I was the previous year, but I definitely still had plenty of downs. The first 3 months of Junior year, I slowly crawled back into depression. I suddenly started to have unusual panic attacks due to my dad's anger and social life. I was practically being mentally abused by my father, meaning he just took his anger and stress all out on me. My friends were hardly their to keep my calm and at a relaxed level. At school they were there to cheer me up, buy at home, no one at all. I literally locked myself in my room for 4 hours, trying to have happy thoughts. And all of this just led to the uncontrollable mentality of my brain taking over.
So basically, since now I feel more comfortable to be open about this...last Monday night, I made the decision on attempting to hang myself...
Now obviously it didn't fall through because my brother was there to immediately stop me. Now I know it may seem like I'm making this up, no I was committed on ending my life that night. I was just mere seconds away from death, but the opportunity was taken away from my older brother.
I have taken time to try to recover from this. I spoken to a few friends about this issue and I never in my life have made anyone cry before, until then. I felt extremely terrible for what I did and for all the friends I would have left abandoned.
I'm only telling you guys this because I thought I let you know and also why the next chapter is taking so long. That's my main reason, and I apologize. I'm still trying to mentally recover from this, but I hope for it to be very soon because I have just about had it with depression..
