Nothing Will Ever Be The Same - Part II (For Luz)
Tris woke up the middle of the morning, her bladder expanded to it's limit. She threw the covers back and threw her legs over the side of the bed. Her feet hit the carpet and she stood. "AHHH!" She screamed as her legs buckled underneath her and she fell to the floor with a loud thud.
Startled by Tris' scream, Jeanine leaped off the couch and ran into the bedroom. "Tris?!" She flipped the light on to see Tris lying prone on the floor. "Tris, oh my God. Are you okay?"
"I-" Tris winced as Jeanine helped her sit up against the side of the bed. "Owe."
"What happened?" Jeanine's eyes scanned Tris' form grateful that there was no blood.
"I got up to use the bathroom, and I guess my legs didn't want to take me there." Tris shifted uncomfortably.
Jeanine reached out and touched the top of Tris' thigh, "They're so swollen. We need to get you in an ice bath."
Tris' bladder spasmed uncomfortably. "I need to go pee."
Jeanine pursed her lips for a second. "Okay, come on." She stood up, and planted her feet on either side of Tris. The brunette looked up at her curiously, but Jeanine didn't waver. She leaned down, hooked her arms under Tris' shoulders and pulled Tris up to her.
Tris hissed at the pain in her legs and pursed her lips together when tears sprung to her eyes. She wrapped her arms around Jeanine's shoulders and buried her face in blonde hair.
"Can you put your feet on mine?" Jeanine whispered softly. Tris tightened her abs and lifted her legs like they were logs. Slowly, Jeanine felt Tris' toes meet the top of her foot. "Good." She wrapped her arms around Tris' back, pulling them flush together. "I'm going to walk now. Don't worry - I'll take small steps and just drag my feet along the floor." Tris nodded against her shoulder.
"Okay." The walk to the bathroom seemed to take a million years. Tris held in her whimpers and cried silently against Jeanine's shoulder. It hurt like hell, her legs didn't want to bend, didn't want to flex or relax, they just hurt.
When they finally reached the bathroom, Jeanine paused. "Do you want me to help you?"
"Please."
Tris' body trembled with the pain and Jeanine's heart ached. "Hold on." Tris tightened her grip around Jeanine's neck while the blonde slid her fingers under the waistband of Tris' bottoms and pushed them down. Sitting on the toilet was an olympic feat and by the time Tris sat down, she feared she might not be able to get back up.
"I'm going to give you some privacy and go get the ice." Jeanine excused herself from the bathroom and hurried her way into the kitchen. She pulled out each tray of ice, emptied the ice maker of it's bin, and even grabbed the cool packs she used to keep her lunch cold. "Tris?" She stood outside of the bathroom, her mind whirring with worry.
"Come in." Tris chuckled when Jeanine stepped into the bathroom, her arms full with bags of ice.
"I'm glad someone's finding some humor in this." Jeanine said, and emptied her arms into the claw-foot bathtub.
"You've always been able to make me laugh. Even when I'm at my worst."
The compliment doesn't go unmissed and a smile breaks over Jeanine's mouth. "Shall we get you into the tub?"
Tris stared at the bathtub and her joy deflated. She blew out a sigh and blew the air out between her lips. "Yeah."
"Come on." Jeanine leaned over and picked Tris up bridal-style.
"Wow!" Tris quickly wrapped her arms around Jeanine's neck and hissed as her legs bent to accommodate the position. Jeanine spun on her toes and lowered Tris into the tub.
"Ahhaha -ah-ah-ah," Tris' skin tingled as it was met with the frozen ice. "Whew." She shivered and leaned back against the porcelain tub.
"Okay?" Jeanine asked, watching Tris closely.
Tris nodded her head. "Yeah."
Jeanine plugged the drain and tuned on the cool water. "You'll be feeling better soon."
Tris reached up and put her hand over Jeanine's on the side of the bathtub. Blue eyes met brown and they both took a steadying breath. "Thank you."
Jeanine gave Tris a small smile then looked back at the water. "We should probably get your shorts off," Jeanine thought aloud when she looked down to see Tris' bottoms still halfway down her thighs.
Tris blushed. "Well, Ms. Matthews, if you think that's for the best," she teased.
Jeanine cut her eyes at Tris and tried to hide her smile. She shook her head and it made Tris giggle. She reached into the water and gently pulled Tris' shorts and panties down her legs. "You haven't called me Ms. Matthews for a long time."
"I know." Tris scrunched her nose, "It felt a little weird."
Jeanine laughed and pulled the shorts from the water. "You're weird."
"Thank you." Tris grinned happily.
"Oh," Jeanine groaned as she got off her knees and sat on the tile floor, "what am I going to do with you?"
Tris flicked water at Jeanine's face. "You're gonna forgive me first."
A somber air took over the room and Jeanine sighed heavily. She slid back against the wall and cross her legs. Her head fell back against the wall, "I just wish I could understand it. But I can't see the logic to it."
"'Cause there was no logic. It was stupid. It was rash. And if I could go back in time and not do it - I would."
Jeanine wiped her hands over her face and then behind her neck. "Ohhhh." She groaned then growled and looked up at Tris. "You understand that this can never happen again."
"It won't."
Jeanine grumbled to herself unintelligibly. "Don't think this changes anything. I need some time. And you're still sleeping in the guest room."
Tris dipped her chin in understanding. "For as long as you need."
"Good." Jeanine's pursed lips slowly slid into a smile under Tris' gaze.
Tris traced her fingertips over the surface of the cool water. She gripped the porcelain tub and crossed her arms on its edge, resting her chin on her arm. "I want you to know that I understand this separation isn't just some… waiting period." She swallowed hard as moisture started to gather in her eyes. "I put you in second position when I... did what I did... and that was wrong." A hot tear slid down her cheek as she held Jeanine's gaze. "And you deserve better. So, I'm gonna work to give it to you. I'm not gonna push. You need space, I respect that. But I'm not gonna throw in the towel. You take this time, do what ya gotta do, and I'll take it to… Figure out what I can do better." Tris sniffled and rolled her lips together. She loved Jeanine with every piece of her heart, and she desperately wanted to fix things between them.
Jeanine's throat constricted with emotion. "Thank you."
An hour later Tris was back in bed and Jeanine was turning out the lights.
"Good night Jeanine."
"Good night Tris." Jeanine pulled the door closed at went upstairs. The green glow of her alarm clock told her it was nearly 5am and she huffed. She went into the master bath and took a hot shower and washed herself clean. When she emerged from the bathroom she wore only a fluffy white robe cinched together at her waist. She stared at the king sized bed and grumbled to herself. She felt childish for not wanting to sleep in it, but no amount of logic could convince her otherwise.
She snatched her phone off the nightstand and sent a text to her assistant letting her know that she would be working from home today. She tossed her phone on the bed and glared at the white duvet. Her feet padded across the carpet to the dresser where she pulled out a pair of pajamas and put them on. She grabbed her phone off the bed, set it to silent and returned to the living room. Her eyes lingered on the guest bedroom door and then back to the couch where she had been sleeping.
What if Tris wakes up again… It would be easier if I was there…
Jeanine laughed at her own ridiculous rationalization. The truth was that she and Tris had shared a bed for years, and there was no way she was going to get a wink of sleep without Tris by her side. She shook her head at her own antics and picked up her pillow off the couch.
Slowly, she opened the bedroom door and slipped in under the covers.
"Jeanine?" Tris' thick voice mumbled out her name.
"Shhh. Go back to sleep." Jeanine whispered into the dark.
Tris reached out blindly and met Jeanine's arm. She ran her hand down and clasped Jeanine's fingers between her own. She wanted to kiss her. Wanted to hold her and tell her everything was going to be alright. But she hadn't earned that privilege yet, and she didn't want to do anything that might cause Jeanine to back away. So she held Jeanine's hand, rubbed her thumb across the smooth skin and committed it all to memory.
Jeanine turned her head to the side and stared at Tris in the dark. What she had done was unforgivable, but she was only human and prone to human mistakes and weaknesses. She sighed heavily and closed her eyes, focusing on the feeling of Tris' thumb running over the back of her hand.
Within seconds they were both sound asleep. Nothing would ever be the same, but maybe, someday, it could be even better.
I had not intended to write a part II. But I know you wanted a happy ending Luz, so this was just for you! :) I miss you! XO - A
