So I had no intentions of writing anything until I woke up this morning and got hit with an urge to finish this chapter. So when the voices talk to you, you gotta listen especially when the voices have been elsewhere lately lol. Hope you enjoy it btw. I also know I've been AWOL this last wee while and I apologise to anyone who is still waiting on feedback from me. I'm on the case I promise :) And for everyone that leaves a review for me, thank you so much. It's amazing how a comment or two can encourage you to get your ass in gear!


Chapter 29

"Steph?"

Paul's voice echoed oddly around the foyer as he called out his wife's name. The house felt strangely silent as he dumped his bag on the floor and wandered through to the living room. Nothing appeared to have changed in the short time he had been gone. He wasn't sure he had expected it to change either but still his eyes gazed fleetingly around the spacious room observing it carefully and taking in his familiar surroundings. Everything was where it usually was. Nothing was missing. Their favourite wedding photograph was still in the solid silver frame and in the usual place and for some reason he found a great source of comfort in that. That and the various family pictures that accompanied it, evidence that Paul was still very much a part of this home and he hadn't been erased from it in any way. Jake's blue toy truck was in the middle of the floor and Paul absently picked it up wondering where Stephanie was. He knew the kids were with their grandparents and had been since first thing this morning. Apparently Linda had wanted to give Stephanie some peace and quiet and a chance to catch up on some rest. She hadn't been sleeping very well since he had been gone. In fact she hadn't been sleeping at all and Paul knew this because he had called his mother in law from the airport worried when he hadn't heard back from his wife. As well as the message he had left here at home asking her to call him back, he had also left messages on her cell phone but so far he had heard nothing from Stephanie and the truth was he hadn't wanted to just turn up here unannounced. After all he was the one who had left. He had no right to walk in uninvited if Stephanie didn't want him here. Although Linda seemed to think she did. Want him here that is which is why she had offered to keep the kids overnight so he and Stephanie would have the opportunity to talk to one another without any distractions. He had been grateful for that although Paul could only pray that Stephanie would give him that chance and listen to what he had to say. God knows it was more than he deserved after the way he had treated her.

Swallowing the guilty lump he felt in his throat, Paul wandered back into the front foyer briefly glancing at the truck in his hand before dumping it in the toy box that sat at the bottom of the stairs. The foyer was Jake's favourite area to play. The polished marble floor was the perfect place to race his various cars and trucks day and night so much so they'd given up returning them to the play room every evening. Instead they kept them down here in their special box, a blue and red box Ellie had painted for her baby brother with a little help from her daddy of course.

Paul's mouth curved into a smile at that memory as he ascended the stairs. But that smile faded when he saw the closed bedroom door at the end of the hall. It seemed to loom back at him ominously because it was never closed, at least not during the day. In fact even at night, the door remained partially open just in case one of the kids got up upset or came looking for them and either he or Stephanie failed to hear them. The only time that didn't happen was of course during sex. Personally he welcomed the lock and the privacy being he was against completely scarring his children for life. But that was the only time anyone got shut out. The fact the door was closed now worried him somewhat. He also wondered if he opened it, would he find Stephanie behind it?

"Steph?" he called out once more as he walked along the carpeted hallway to their bedroom. He could feel his anxiety rise the closer he got and that's when Paul realised he was nervous about seeing his wife. After all, who knew what kind of reception he was going to get? He hadn't spoken to Stephanie since he had walked out on her two nights ago and for all he knew, she could still be seriously pissed off with him and if that was the case, who could blame her? He was the idiot who had let a manipulative fucker like Mark get to him. He was the one that had let him get under his skin and in turn, it had affected his judgement. Paul had walked out on the woman he loved, the woman who was his life. He had stupidly lost his faith in her at a time when he should have trusted in her and their marriage. The vows they had made to one another almost seven years ago had meant something then and they meant something now. He had just forgotten that temporarily and now he was about to face the consequences of that fleeting moment of insanity. But it was a hit he was willing to take if it meant there was the chance of getting everything that was precious to him back in his life.

Paul stood in the middle of the floor chewing on his fingernail nervously. God knows he had to make this right. He couldn't fuck this up. If the last couple of days had taught him anything it was how much his family meant to him. He loved them. He couldn't live without them. He wanted to kick himself for letting Mark get to him. That jerk had well and truly pushed his buttons making him believe there was something going on. He had made him doubt his wife. He had him question his trust in her. But while Mark was partly responsible, Paul blamed himself. He had chosen to believe his wife was having an affair. He had been an idiot. A jealous and bitter idiot if he was being perfectly honest. He had refused to listen to Stephanie no matter how many times she had denied there was something going on. He would deserve it if the roles were now reversed and she refused to listen to him. Raking his big hand through his hair, Paul realised now that there was no doubt in his mind. Not a single one. Mark had been fucking with his head all along. Everything Shane had said to him this morning had made sense so much so he wondered why he hadn't seen it for himself. Stephanie had done nothing wrong and he owed her a huge apology. The question was whether she would accept it. He guessed there was only one way to find out.

Letting out a calming breath, Paul slowly made his way along the hallway and stopped outside their bedroom door. His hand hovered over the door knob. His heart was racing in his chest but its beat wasn't so overwhelming that he couldn't hear the sound of crying through the wood. Any hesitation he felt at seeing Stephanie slipped away when he realised her distress and he knocked briefly before opening the door.

"Steph?" he called out as he entered the bedroom.

His brown eyes widened in alarm when he was welcomed by her deep, guttural sobbing. Stephanie was crying her heart out. Glancing over at the bed, he saw his wife laying there, her body curled into a tiny ball and he raced over to sit down next to her, his arms instinctively reaching for her, to comfort her. But he was immediately startled by her panicked scream as Stephanie violently pulled away from him, her body scurrying across the covers as she retreated to the opposite end of the large bed.

"What the fuck?" Paul muttered under his breath as he stared after her in a stunned amazement. Stephanie stumbled to the floor as she slid off the corner of the mattress and her eyes appeared wild with fear as she looked back at him, wrapping her long arms around her body protectively. Paul's brow furrowed, etched with his concern. Stephanie was physically shaking. He could see her shoulders trembling in fear as she steadied herself on her feet and he shook his head in confusion. Why was she acting this way? Why was she so scared by him? What the fuck was going on?

"Stephanie?" he called out to her, panicked.

The familiar sound of her name from his lips got her attention. As Paul got to his feet he saw Stephanie lift up her head in his direction and blink a couple of times before her blue eyes flickered with recognition. Her face visibly relaxed and the fear that had consumed her slipped away to be replaced with a wariness and a visible hesitation to believe he was really standing there, like somehow her husband was a figment of her imagination and she was simply dreaming the whole thing up.

"Paul?" she asked timidly as her blue eyes narrowed in his direction, her head still slightly bowed from him.

Paul nodded as he slowly approached her, an unsure smile twitching at his lips. His arms ached with the need to reach for his wife but he physically held back. God knows the last thing he wanted to do was startle her again. She still resembled the frightened child he'd witnessed just a moment ago. Her eyes were big and wide despite being red and swollen from her tears. Her shoulders were hunched making her look small. Paul's fists clenched awkwardly at his sides as he came to stand in front of her. His fingers resisted the urge to push back the loose strands of hair that fell across her beautiful face.

"What….what are you doing here?" she asked him softly.

"I had to come home." Paul told her lifting his left shoulder in an awkward shrug. "I had to see you, Steph." he continued, his gentle expression holding his apology.

There was a beat until eventually Stephanie raised her head, fully meeting her husband face to face for the first time since he had entered the room. Paul's eyes drank her in like a desperate man thirsty for water but only for a moment until his expression faltered and his nose wrinkled with his scowl as he observed her swollen bottom lip and the bruised cut that blemished her perfect features.

"What the hell is that?" he asked her sharply.

His thumb tucked under her chin, lifting her mouth towards him. Stephanie instinctively batted his hand away, subconsciously backing away from her husband as her eyes darted around nervously.

"Nothing. I fell over. It's no big deal." she told him as her arm wrapped around her body once more.

"No big deal? Steph, your lip is bust open!"

"I know!" she cried back, sniffing and blinking back the hot tears that threatened to consume her once more. They consumed her each and every time she remembered the reason why she was cut in the first in place. God knows it was a reason she had tried to forget but unfortunately her mind appeared to want to torture her by reliving each and every detail of the attack. They were memories that haunted and tormented her.

"So what happened?" Paul asked her.

His simple question sent an icy chill down Stephanie's spine.

"I told you. I fell over." she informed him.

She jutted her jaw out defiantly trying her best to hold it together in front of her husband. It was taking all her strength not to rush into Paul's arms and hold him close. Close enough that he would chase all those horrible memories away.

"Yeah? Well I don't believe you." Paul said, his brow furrowing with his scrutiny as he continued to observe her.

It was a simple statement but Stephanie suddenly felt annoyed by it. In fact she could feel anger at his words slowly bubbling to the surface and it was an anger she was more than happy to embrace and hold on to. Because anger she could deal with. Anger stopped her tears and not crying in front of her husband might just also stop her from falling completely apart right now.

Stephanie's mouth curled into a scowl as her arms fell to her sides and she stared back at him challenging him. "I see nothing's changed there then." she shot back.

"And what does that mean?"

"What it means is why are you even here, Paul?" Stephanie asked him, throwing her hands in the air in despair. "Shouldn't you be half way to Europe right now? I mean that's what you were planning, right? Just to jet off and leave all your troubles behind. Or should I say your family behind."

Her blue eyes stared back at him accusingly and Paul held that stare for a second. It was a second long enough for him to see the flicker of pain reminding him he had hurt her and he dropped his head in shame suddenly unable to look at her. It was more than he could bear to see the reminder of his actions. It was even harder to bear knowing those actions had been completely unjustified.

"Yeah well I couldn't do it." he admitted in a low voice. "I couldn't go."

Paul tilted his head in his wife's direction only to see her looking back at him in confusion as her hands absently tightened the belt around her cream silk robe.

"What do you mean, you couldn't go?" she asked him.

"Just that." he sighed as he pushed his big hand through his hair causing the blonde strands to fall softly around his face. It was a face that was remorseful and contrite as it looked directly at the woman standing in front of him. A woman who he had let down badly and a woman that he prayed would somehow find it in her heart to forgive him.

"I couldn't leave you." he told her as he stepped forward and hesitantly reached for Stephanie's hand. He was encouraged by the fact she didn't flinch from his touch this time and his fingers loosely clasped hers. Her slender digits felt cold like ice and Paul instinctively held them a little tighter, wrapping them in his gentle warmth. "I was wrong, Steph. I made a mistake."

Stephanie lightly shook her head in confusion. "A mistake about what?"

"A mistake about you. A mistake about not trusting you."

Her blue eyes flashed a little darker and Paul felt his stomach knot with guilt. Guilt that once again recognised the ripple of pain in his wife's ocean blue pools. Pain that once again he was the sole cause of.

"I should have listened to you when you told me you weren't fooling around behind my back." he continued trying his best to explain himself. "I just got so angry and upset at the thought of you being with him. I acted like a total dick, Steph. I let my jealousy get the better of me."

Paul's voice faltered as he dropped Stephanie's hand and took a step back. His brown eyes briefly fell to the floor suddenly unable to look at her. He didn't want to see the disappointment in her eyes, her disappointment in him and Stephanie's disappointment that he had been so fucking weak as to let his petty emotions get the better of him like that. They were emotions that were foreign to him or at least they had been until now. Now he was just that stupid fucking idiot that had lost his cool the second some other guy had looked in his wife's direction. Although Mark just wasn't some other guy and that was the problem. Another problem had been Stephanie's inability to be straight with him and honest. If she had been honest, maybe things would never have gotten this far although Paul knew this wasn't fair to pin this on her. Leaving had been his decision and his decision alone.

"Why the sudden change of heart, Paul?"

Stephanie's voice got his attention and Paul slowly lifted his head to look at her. He could see the trepidation in her face and hear the hesitation in her voice and he couldn't blame her one bit for being the one not able to trust him this time. He had done a complete one eighty on her but it was amazing the clarity you found when you took your own head out of your ass. Clarity that he had discovered thanks to Shano and despite the raging hangover he'd had this morning, a hangover that was still lingering despite the half packet of paracetemol he'd taken during the course of the day. Paul's fingers absently lifted to rub at his throbbing temples as Stephanie offered him a tight smile.

"I mean you were adamant I was having an affair a couple of days ago. What's happened to make you change your mind?"

"Shane." he told her simply as he lifted his shoulder in an apologetic shrug.

He gestured towards the bed and Stephanie nodded her head as she followed him over there. The mattress dipped underneath their weight as they both sat down, side by side on the crumpled covers. Paul was slightly hunched over as his forearms rested on his denim clad thighs and his fingers began to toy with the wedding band on his left hand. He always did that when he was nervous. That and he had to something to preoccupy the hands that were desperate to touch Stephanie, to hold her. But before he could even think about feeling his wife in his arms once more, he was due her an explanation.

"He talked some sense into me." Paul began as he tilted his head sideways and offered Stephanie a small smile. "He made me realise I've been played for a fool."

"Who's been playing you for a fool?"

"Mark."

He glanced away as his big hands lifted to rub over his weary face. Paul failed to see Stephanie flinch at the mention of his name or feel her whole body tense as she sat next to her husband.

"He's been fucking with my head." he continued briefly focusing on the carpeted floor. "He's been trying to make me think there's something going on between the pair of you. Something I should never have believed in the first place."

Paul's eyes travelled to meet his wife. His brown eyes were apologetic as he sat up, reaching for Stephanie and gently turning her in his direction. Her head was slightly bowed so he couldn't read her expression. He couldn't look into those incredible blue eyes of hers, eyes that would tell him the truth and let him know whether Stephanie believed him or not.

"Stephanie, look at me. Please." he pleaded with her as his hand enveloped hers and gripped it tightly.

There was a second's hesitation before Stephanie slowly raised her chin, her eyes briefly remaining closed before they gently fluttered open and Paul swallowed thickly, looking into them, silently begging her to forgive him.

"I've been an idiot, Steph. I've fucked up badly and I'm sorry. I should never have walked out on you and our kids. I should have trusted you."

"Yes, Paul. You should have." Stephanie shot back sharply, her face crumpling with her pain and her bottom lip trembling with her emotion as a solitary tear trickled down her cheek. "Because you hurt me you know. You hurt our children."

"I know." Paul hushed as his thumb lifted to wipe away her sorrow before lingering on her cheek and tracing the soft outline of her jaw. "I know and I'm so sorry, Steph. I really am. Forgive me?" he whispered desperately.

His brown eyes pleaded with his wife as they shone with his unshed tears and Stephanie felt any anger she had left slip away as she turned her face into the palm of his hand, nuzzling into him. God knows she didn't have the energy to fight with him over this any more. She didn't want to.

"Of course I forgive you. I have to." she whispered back as she closed her eyes relishing his touch and drawing solace from his presence. "Because I don't want to live without you, Paul. I can't. Not for one more second."

This time Stephanie didn't stop the tears that streamed down her face as Paul pulled her into his arms and held her. His gentle heat enveloped her, soothing her as she breathed in his familiar scent. Her fingers gripped onto him feeling her fear slowly start to slip away and for the first time that day Stephanie felt completely safe because that's what Paul did. He protected her and he kept her safe and God knows she needed to feel that way right now. She was so scared. In fact she felt fucking terrified every time she thought about what had happened this morning and she needed Paul more than she had ever needed him before. What had happened between them in the past was now just that. The past. Paul had seen sense and come home. That was all that mattered. Nothing else. He had apologised and she would be a fool not to accept that apology. She was sorry too. Sorry for not being completely honest with him in the first place. She knew that was a big part of the problem. Although forgiving her husband's mistrust in her and what they had together wouldn't be so easy but it would come in time. It had to. She had no choice. She loved Paul. He was her heart. In fact he was her everything.

"God, I love you baby. I don't deserve you." Paul breathed into her ear as his fingers tangled in her hair, brushing through the soft chestnut strands.

"Just promise me you won't leave like that ever again." Stephanie demanded.

"I promise." he told her, closing her eyes and holding her a little tighter as Stephanie sniffed back her tears, giving a light hiccup as she did so.

"And no more jumping to conclusions." she said, her voice slightly muffled against her husband's chest. "Just talk to me next time, please."

Paul shook his head agreeing to her request.

"Good. Because you can talk to me, Paul. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah. I know." he replied, kissing her hair, his eyes still closed as he enjoyed the feeling of simply holding his wife. God knows that was all his arms had ached to do since the moment he had walked out on her.

"Just like I know I can talk to you which is why I promise right here, right now, there will be no more secrets between us, okay?"

"Okay."

"And I want you know how sorry I am in my part in it all. Sorry for not being completely honest with you. Sorry for not listening to you and respecting your wishes. You come first, Paul. You and the kids always will."

Paul's warm lips brushed over her cheek as he rested his head against hers. Stephanie turned her face towards him, seeking out his mouth with her own. But as soon as they began to kiss, Stephanie hissed and pulled back, wincing in pain. Paul's brow furrowed with concern as her fore finger lifted to carefully dab at her bottom lip, bringing his attention back to her wound.

"Are you going to tell me what happened to cause that?" he asked her as his brown eyes appraised it carefully. The cut was small yet deep and a light purple bruising surrounded it, making her lip swollen and protruded.

"I told you. I fell over." Stephanie said casually shrugging but Paul felt anything but casual about it especially when her eyes were shifting around anxiously, glancing everywhere but at him. His wife was obviously hiding something from him, something she obviously didn't want him to find out which only raised his suspicions even more. It was bad enough he had found her in the emotional state she had been in earlier. Now she was really freaking him out by being like this. Letting out a calming breath before he completely lost his cool, Paul rubbed his hand over his stubbled chin feeling his headache start to return full force as he asked her one last time.

"Steph, tell me the truth. And while you're at it, try to remember what you just promised me about no more secrets between us."

"I remember." Stephanie glared back defiantly.

"Good. Then maybe you can remember how you busted open your lip"

Her silence spoke volumes to him as Stephanie stood up from the bed. She had only taken a couple of steps before Paul rose from his position too and reached for her arm, gently tugging her back to him determined to find out the truth. That's when Stephanie's silk robe slipped from her shoulder and Paul couldn't help but notice the dark purple bruising that adorned her arm. It was a stark contrast to her creamy pale skin and the closer Paul looked the more he realised it was bruising that looked suspiciously like fingers. Three fingers that had roughly grabbed his wife or at least that's what it looked like to Paul.

"Stephanie what the fuck is going on?" he asked, his nostrils flaring with anger and his stomach churning nauseously at the thought of anyone putting a hand on Stephanie and hurting her in any way. "And please don't lie to me." he begged as he lifted his eyes from the bruising to her face.

Her tears alarmed him as they washed down her face like water. Her eyes were wide and scared and Paul felt the fear that they held slowly creep into his heart as he gently lifted her robe over her shoulder once more. He didn't want to see the bruising any more. It sickened him to look at the marks. It sickened him to know that someone did this to her. The same someone that twisted his stomach into tight knots every time he thought about him. He knew who had done this to Stephanie. He wasn't fucking stupid. Everything was falling into place from Stephanie's bruises to her emotional state both when he walked in the room and now. He just needed her to say his name. He just needed the validation before he went over there and kicked the living shit out of him.

"Stephanie?" Paul pleaded with her again urgently.

She slowly shook her head. "Please. Don't make me do this." she asked as she pressed her lips together tasting her salty tears.

Stephanie didn't want to tell Paul. She couldn't. Not only was she ashamed at her stupidity at going over there in the first place, she was terrified of what would happen once her husband knew the truth. Because while Paul was usually a rational guy, when it came to anyone screwing with his family, that rationality went out the window. Nothing was off limits when it came to defending or protecting his wife and kids and while that thought usually made her proud, right now she was so frightened. Paul would kill Mark when he got his hands on him. She was sure of it just like she was sure that she would lose him all over again to a justice system that would be intent on punishing him for his actions. And she couldn't risk that. She simply wouldn't survive it.

"It was him, wasn't it?"

Paul's voice was low and controlled yet still betrayed his anger. His brown eyes flickered black with his rage. His shoulders rose and fell with his heavy breathing as his fists clenched tightly by his side.

"Just say his name, Steph."

"I can't!" she cried as she choked back a sob.

But her sobbing turned to blind panic as Paul spun on his heel and walked out of the room.

"I'm going to fucking kill him!" he growled enraged as he stormed down the hall.

"Paul, no!"

Stephanie chased after him, her heart racing with her anxiety as her hand absently wiped at her wet cheeks. This is exactly what she had been afraid of. She knew exactly what her husband was capable of and she had to find some way of stopping him.

"Paul, please!" she cried as she raced down the hallway, grabbing his arm at the top of the stairs.

Stephanie spun him round to face her but when she did, her breath hitched in her throat alarmed. The man in front of her didn't resemble her husband. In fact she'd never seen Paul like this before. The look in his eyes was manic and out of control. Yet his handsome features were oddly determined and cold. Her tongue flicked out licking her lips, her mouth suddenly feeling horribly dry.

"Don't go over there." she pleaded. "Please, Paul. You're only going to make things worse."

Her big blue eyes begged him to listen to her but any hope of whatever reaction she had expected from him quickly disappeared as Paul shrugged her off and continued his descent down the stairs.

"Paul!"

Her desperate scream followed him through the front foyer and out the front door until the loud slam echoed around the empty house silencing it and signalling her husband's hasty departure.

"Please Paul!" she cried helplessly to no one, her frightened breaths and tears turning into deep sobs as Stephanie crumpled to the stairs, her body slumping to defeat knowing there was nothing she could do to stop him. Paul was going after Mark. Paul was going to kill him. Her shoulders shook violently as she cried. She cried for her children. She cried for Paul and somewhere along the line she cried for herself too.

But Stephanie could only wallow in her own sorrow for a brief moment. She jumped startled as the shrill ringing of the telephone got her attention. Hastily wiping the back of her hand across her face, Stephanie got to her feet and gulped back the tears that still threatened to fall. There was every chance it was her mom calling and the last thing she wanted or needed was alarm bells to start ringing if she didn't pick up. She raced along the hallway to answer the call gathering her composure along the way.

Rushing into the bedroom, she picked up the receiver struggling to catch her breath as she heard the voice at the other end.

"Hello? Steph?"

"Shane!" she cried out with relief and immediately decided his call was a sign or an intervention or whatever you wanted to call it because if anyone could talk sense into Paul right now, it was her older brother. He'd done it already in getting her husband to come home. Maybe now he could persuade Paul that spending the next twenty years behind bars just wasn't worth it, not for a fucking scumbag like Mark because their kids needed their father. She needed her husband.

"Is everything okay?" her big brother asked her.

Stephanie absently shook her head at Shane's question as she struggled to find her voice. "Shane, I need your help. Paul's gone after Mark."

She didn't need to say another word.

"I'm on my way." he informed her.

The click at the other end signalled the end of the call and Stephanie still clutched the receiver in her hand as she dropped to the bed, her legs suddenly feeling terribly unsteady and her whole body lightly trembling as she silently prayed Shane would get here in time.