UNINVITED

'You seem tired.'

'That's because I am.'

'They are working you too hard over there. You really shouldn't overexert yourself…'

'I'm… not. I just need to rest a bit. You mind me staying here?'

'You know I don't… I love it when you're here. I'm just worried, you know.'

'I know.'

Daniel took a step closer to the bed and sat right next to me. I folded my tired arms behind my head like a pillow of muscles and bones. The clan did train me, hard, every single day I was there. This place was where I would come to relax, to be myself. I could be myself with the Dalish, especially with Nenhara, but with Daniel it was different. With him, I felt like a normal girl again. With him I could be… human. Like I was.
The Dalish on the other hand, underlined the fact that I was Elven, different from before. They focussed on it, on the history I never had a connection with, on the ears I never felt, on the magic I never had nor wished to have. The clan was my family, my new family, but they unintentionally reminded me of what I wasn't, never could be. I would never be one of them, always the outsider. I would never be Thedosian, Elven, Dalish… but I could also never be human, an earthling, normal. I was nothing, yet I was all and everything in between. Daniel didn't look at me for what I had been or what I was supposed to be.

To him, I was just Saeris.

Just me.

Daniel wiped away a stray hair from my face and folded it behind my ears, which twitched by his touch. I smiled as I stared at his young face, at his perfect kind eyes, his bright long red hair, and the thousands of freckles on his nose and cheeks. I could grow old with this man…

That thought frightened me.

Growing old, here, having a life with him… it meant leaving behind everything I was, all the questions left unanswered. Would he even be willing to live with me?

And like he had seen the questions in my eyes, he smiled tenderly, 'I wish you could stay with me here, forever.'

I stared at him, feeling how my skin started to glow with warmth. Happiness. A rare feeling. I smiled a little, my ears focussing on the murmuring of the woods outside, on the fire crackling in delight, on Daniel's soft but trembled breathing. He lowered his head closer and closer to mine. And I closed my eyes, raising my head to meet his.

No sound now but my own heart, beating together with the drum of happiness.

Our lips met, for the first time ever, and I couldn't feel anything beyond him. His rough hands caressing my cheekbones with infinite care, his warm breath engulfing my mouth, my body and every single inch of my mind. And I leaned in. More and more. And our kiss became deeper, filled with a passion we had cherished for the past couple of years, years that had gone by so quickly, almost feeling like seconds.

But this moment felt like forever. An eternity of blissfulness. And I wished we could become immortal this way.

Daniel let go of my lips, brushing his tongue quickly against mine before he departed, savouring all I was, and all he was. I opened my eyes to stare into his. He smiled, squinting, and then kissed me again softly. And then again. And again. Like he was making up for all the time we didn't kiss the last couple of years, for the time we hadn't spent together, for the months we had looked at the sky wishing the clan would let me come here.

The clan, my new family, had asked me before I came here, to think. Learn how to fight, to defend, and stay with them forever, travelling this strange new world. Or refuse, and live with Daniel.

I made my choice. I would tell them tomorrow. I knew they'd understand, and that I would still be able to visit them, even if they moved further away.

And then, I would come back here, to Daniel.

And we would live together, grow old in this eternal happiness we shared.

How little I knew back then, how stupid I was. And that tender moment of happiness would ghost my mind for the rest of my lonely immortal life. A life without my family. Without him.

'My flower', he sighed, the corners of his lips curling into a smile.

Without love.

XXX

The sun crawled between the velvet curtains of my room, glowing warm rays onto my skin, urging me to open my eyes. The bed creaked underneath me as I stretched my limbs. I turned around in the soft blankets, my face buried into the sea of pillows.

A deep sleep had captured me last night, unwilling to let go of me. My muscles protested as I lifted my arms above my head. A grin appeared on my lips, I hadn't slept this well in weeks. Yesterday so many things had happened. Blood had been spilled, hope had been lost, and regained… and I had been so tired, so… empty? I knew now even my body could become exhausted by using too much magic. This body might be immortal, but it wasn't made out of steel. What would happen if I push myself too far, I wondered?

I got out of bed, twisted my hair up in a high ponytail and put on my travelling gear, ready to head out.

But first. Breakfast.

The tavern, or "auberge royale" according to the owner, was indeed grand and luxurious. Every member of our party got a separate room with en suite bathroom. Maxwell even got a room with a view and balcony. Must remind him of home. The tavern was located just outside Val Royeaux' centre, and was actually just a huge mansion filled with servants. Elven servants to be precise. They looked at Solas and I with disgust on their faces, like we had betrayed them in some way. I felt horrible around them, and didn't call them for anything. I heard Val Royeaux' Elves had it even worse than in Kirkwall…

I walked down the long spiralling marble staircase towards the "salle à manger", or canteen, where I expected the rest of our party to be. But when I entered the large restaurant, no one I recognized seemed to be seated anywhere. Only some nobles and rich merchants, probably on business trips, looked up from their tables. Some even stopped sipping from their freshly pressed juice as I entered. Awkwardly, I skimmed the hall, but no familiar faces were seated anywhere.

'They are not here.' Solas said as he appeared next to me.

I almost screamed, but clutched my heart instead. 'Fenedhis, Solas, you scared me.'

'Ir abelas', he chuckled, 'The Herald has been invited to a salon.'

'A salon?'

'Yes, but let's speak somewhere else…' he said as he leant closer to me, nodding towards the staring nobles, who didn't even look away.
We walked outside of the canteen and into the lounge, where nobody seemed to be at this hour. I bet a lot of schemes were planned in this room.

'Madame de Fer, the Imperial Enchantress of the Orlesian Court, has invited the Herald to her salon at the chateau of Duke Bastien de Ghislain. She is an important figure in Orlesian politics, and we could not refuse this offer.'

I stared at Solas for a second before I said, 'And they went already… without us?'

'The Herald did not want to wake you up since you overexerted yourself yesterday. Therewithal, two elven apostates might not be the right company to a salon.'

'But…'

'He did leave you a note', Solas rumbled in his pockets, 'here.'

I opened the scrap of paper with a frown on my forehead.

Saeris dear,

Don't be angry. Cass and Varric are with me.
Will be back by tonight. You can kick my ass later.
Solas will stay with you.

Your favourite Herald,
Maxwell Trevelyan

I sighed and folded the paper again before fumbling it inside my pocket. 'He could've just woke me up. I'm fine, really.'

'I am sure he meant well.' Solas smiled.

'Didn't you want to go?'

'I did. I adore the heavy blend of power, intrigue and danger that permeates those events. But there will be other occasions to do so.'

'Yes.. now you have to babysit me, that's way better.'

'I do think it is… more interesting.' Solas chuckled.

'Humpf', I sighed and placed my hands on my hips. Was Solas making fun of me too? This day keeps getting better.

'The Herald has given me this message. I need to send it to Leliana by raven. Come, there is a post outside by the stables.' Solas nodded and walked past me. I followed him outside. Before the mansion was a botanic garden, large and full of trees and plants I had only seen before in the remotest places of Thedas. Quite a collection indeed. We followed a path that led towards the stables, where a raven post was located and letters could be sent. With the Inquisition's vigil, we didn't even have to pay.

'What's the letter about?' I asked hoping Solas would know.

'Details about what has happened yesterday. The Herald wrote it last night. It contains information about what he has seen in Envy's dream. It must be sent to Leliana with the utmost urgency.'

I nodded. Even I did not know what Maxwell had seen after I left his mind. What more did we know now? I had to speak with him when he got back.

We posted the letter, the postboy guaranteeing he'd use the fastest and most trustworthy raven to carry it.
I stared at the pitch black bird that spread its wings, the letter attached to its collar, and flew away towards home. I wanted to go too. If only I could fly. 'What do we do now?'

Solas looked down at me, a calculating look in his eyes. I swallowed deeply, feeling the nauseating ache rumbling in my stomach again. Good that I haven't had breakfast yet, because it would've come back out again. 'We could visit the city…'

'No!' I almost yelled, but then scraped my throat, 'Better we'd not… I don't think we, being Elves, will be quite welcome in the shops and such. Besides, I don't really like… their kind.'

'Humans?' He quirked an eyebrow.

'No…' I leant somewhat closer to him, whispering, 'I mean Orlesians. That kind.'

'I understand.' Solas nodded politely, 'then, walk with me?'

I nodded. Let's skip breakfast then, or I'll leave a trail of puke in this garden. Solas bound his hands behind his back and strode towards the path that led inwards the botanic garden. I wiped away a stray hair and followed him. We quietly strolled through the hedges, the labyrinth of plants and gazebos.

'Why do you detest the people of Orlais?' He said after some minutes of walking, when we were completely alone and away from the servants and nobles.

What do I answer? I can't say I fought them during the Fereldan Rebellion, can I? 'I uhm… have a bad history with them.' They killed the man I loved, my family, my sister. They hunted us until we got mad. They took away everything I'd cared for. I looked up to Solas, my eyes betraying the choking feelings that were bursting in my throat, and he knew not to ask any further.

'You fought greatly yesterday.' I coughed to change the subject.

'As did you.'

'Thanks, but… I still wasn't… strong enough. I couldn't help Maxwell fight Envy in his mind. It… pushed me out.'

Solas hummed, his eyes skimming the path before us. 'Dreams are a complicated matter. When you enter someone else's dream, out of familiar boundaries, you lose some power you might've had over the Fade. Dreams of dreamers and demons are dangerous. If strong enough, they can find you and imprison you there forever.'

I remained silent.

'Never lose sight of the way out. It can close behind you anytime.'

'Teach me.' I finally looked up again. 'Teach me to get into dreams and not be pushed out… Can you?'

Solas smiled ever so softly, 'I can try.'

We walked for a while longer, talking and discussing what had happened in the Fade with Envy. I left out the bit about Maxwell seeing a fake me and a fake Cassandra being wooed by Envy dressed in the Herald's face. It was too personal, and I knew Maxwell wouldn't like it. When the sun had risen high into the sky, I retired back to my quarters to rest and eat. I couldn't wait until Maxwell got back from the salon. On one hand, I was glad I didn't have to go. A ball full of Orlesians? No thank you. But on the other hand, I was here to protect Maxwell. I could've swallowed my pride and stayed by his side, even in an Orlesian salon. I didn't need to rest. I can rest when I get back home.

When the skies had started to turn from blue to a soft orange, Maxwell arrived back at the tavern with Varric and Cassandra. I ran outside towards them, Solas on my heel.

'Saeris!' Maxwell smiled and opened his arms for a hug, but I stopped right in front of him. No intention of hugging. My eyes scanned his body, my eye twirling to see if anything was off. But he was alright. 'I'm fine, I'm fine!' he laughed.

'Why wouldn't you be, darling?' A gorgeous woman stepped from behind the party, her ebony skin gleaming against the stark white fashionable Orlesian enchanter robes she wore. A steel, embellished and horned helmet was placed on top of her head, elongating her slender neck. I stared at her, from the gold encrusted boots to the snobby sneer on her full lips. Who was this?

I ignored her and looked at Maxwell again, questions troubling my eyes. 'I would've come with you.' I whispered.

'I know.' Maxwell hushed. 'Saeris, Solas, let me introduce you.' He straightened his back and raised his eyebrows as I frowned. 'This is Vivienne de Fer, Enchanter to the Imperial Court of Orlais.' The woman, Vivienne, raised her chin, a small smile curling on her lips, but her eyes remained cold. My brows knitted together. Was she coming with us? I don't like her. 'Madame', Maxwell turned to Vivienne, 'this is Solas, our Fade expert.'

Solas stepped forward and gave a small but polite curtsy, 'Good evening.'

Vivienne nodded, her sneer deepening as Maxwell turned to me, 'And this is Saeris, Healer of the Inquisition.' And the Herald's bodyguard. So watch it, girl. I raised my chin in response. Yes, I have a title too.

'I'm honoured to make your acquaintance', I smiled sheepishly. I hoped she understood sarcasm.

Vivienne smiled like she hadn't heard me, 'I have heard so much about you. We should absolutely speak sometime, my dear.'

'Madame de Fer has joined our Inquisition, and will be travelling with us back to Haven.' Cassandra said, her voice neutral.

Fuck. 'That is great. The more souls, the merrier.' Not. I looked back to Maxwell, my eyes pleading, 'When will we resume our journey?'

'We'll be leaving shortly now', Maxwell grinned as he eyed me, 'And thanks to Madame, we'll be travelling in style.'

XXX

In style he said. It'll be fun he said.

Fun isn't what I think about when travelling the Waking Sea by luxurious private yacht. Raiders, that's what I think about. Blood-thirsty, prisoner-taking pirates. I hated travelling by boat ever since I was taken by Cecilia's Raider ship together with Sybil. Yes, I survived, but it was pure luck. I also had to stay in a cell below deck for what felt like weeks while drunk pirates tried to get it on with me. It wasn't the best experience I'd had in Thedas.

Vivienne de Fer "leased" her luxury cruise ship to the Inquisition. It was a nice gesture if it wasn't so obviously superficial. A show of money, of status. Look what I have! Typically Orlesian. There were advantages though, like arriving at Haven much sooner, and being able to sleep in a good bed a while longer. While it took us more than a month to return to Haven by foot, it was only two weeks by boat. Maybe a week and a half if we didn't have to make a detour. Just before we boarded the yacht, a raven had scorched through the skies down to Maxwell, a letter from the advisors around its neck. The letter didn't mention anything that had happened at Val Royeaux, it was too early for that news to arrive there, but it did mention something else. While we had been away from Haven, a mercenary group had contacted the Inquisition, springing Leliana's interest. The group was at the Storm Coast and had asked to negotiate with the Herald personally. Could be a trap. Or, could be just a group of merry men trying to make a deal. It was worth checking out, since the mercenary group, according to the letter, had an infamous reputation. It was a small detour of just some days, but every day that passed by, was a day less of a Templar-free Haven.

I knew I wouldn't make it on time now.

Home would never be the same.

Funny how an immortal hates change, no?

I leaned over the balustrade, staring into the deep blue abyss that was the Waking Sea. Only two hours of sailing, and I already started to feel sick.

'Don't like sailing, do you?' Varric walked up to me and leant against the balustrade.

I looked down to him, a grimace curling over my face, 'Not really, no. Bad experience.'

'You sailed before?'

'Yes… when I moved from Ferelden to the Free Marches during my travels…' How do I skip the part about it being more than a hundred years ago?

'Took the ferry to Kirkwall, didn't you? Lots of Fereldan folks did that.'

'Yes… until we got raided by the Felicisima Armada. Wasn't the best experience.'

'Was the Captain named Isabela by any chance?'

'No.'

'Too bad, could've been a fun trip.' Varric chuckled. 'But hey, you survived.'

'Apparently', I winked at him, 'by pure luck.'

'Do I hear an epic story coming up?'

I laughed, 'No, no there wasn't anything special about it.'

'It doesn't sound like that.' Varric lifted a brow at me, curiosity curling behind his eyes.

'Maybe another time,' I grinned, 'Don't want to think about it as long as I'm on this boat.'

'Bet that isn't good for morale.' Varric nodded and pushed himself from the balustrade, walking towards Maxwell who was standing near the rudder of the ship. I sighed and looked up to Maxwell, following his gaze that stared towards the horizon. He had been quite quiet lately. He looked so tired too. I knew this wasn't the time to speak about Envy and what had happened. I bet he had too much on his mind to bother explaining it all to me.

The waves crashed against the wooden ship, and I heard it creak against the power. I closed my eyes again as I followed the rocking of the deck, and my mind wandered to memories from long before the Dragon Age. I remembered Sybil's crying face, distraught from the loss of her mother. I remembered how Cecilia had looked at me, that grin on her lips as I made her that deal. I remembered Aarón, and the muted sounds of his fiddle strumming sailor's songs. I remembered being locked up below deck, counting the days by his melodies. I remembered that new sense of adventure…

'You came from the Circle of Ostwick, did you not?' Vivienne's voice brought me out of my trance, and I straightened my back, trying not to grimace as I looked to her. She was a tall woman, just as tall as me. She had seemed young at first, but if I looked somewhat closer, I noticed small wrinkles appearing next to her sneering eyes. 'Senior Enchanter Lydia was a dear friend of mine. Where you at all acquainted?'

I stared at her. This is such a small world. I recalled Lydia, she was the only one I could've considered my "friend" at the Circle. But she had been blinded by love, and that's what killed her, I think. 'Yes, she was one of my instructors.' I said coldly, swallowing my sentiments.

'You are lucky to have studied with her. Lydia had a wealth of knowledge. I understand she was killed by one of her own students when the Ostwick Circle rebelled…'

'We don't know who killed her.' Could've been that snobby Ruth, or her ex-lover, Tibald. I hadn't been there, I was… with Simon when it happened. Doesn't matter now, don't think about it. It's over.

Vivienne hummed. 'The Ostwick Circle had many loyalists. Where you one of them?' I understood what she was saying right now. As Orlais' Imperial Enchanter, she was pro Circle. She wanted to know if I was on her team. An ally, or… an enemy. I was neither.

I scoffed. 'No. I was the one who made the door explode and walked out of there first.'

I saw Vivienne's stare falter a little and then her eyes turned colder. 'So you are with the rebels?'

'No. I am with no one. I want nothing to do with anything that deals with the Circle. Not the rebels or the loyalists.' This is not my war. I am not a Circle mage. My magic is different and they didn't teach me anything beyond fear.

'Unfortunately, we are all part of this war. The outcome of it will affect every single one of us.' Vivienne turned to me, staring into my eyes with a serious look. 'One day, you might not have a choice but to choose a side.'

I raised an eyebrow. 'Maybe. I have been an apostate all my life, being in the Circle never changed that. The rebels aren't my kind. They never knew what life I had, they only knew the life in the Circle. I will never be able to choose a side if my side does not exist, Madame, as far as I know.'

Vivienne clicked her tongue. 'In my own experience, nothing is more deadly to a young mage than a lack of knowledge. Never forget, my dear. Magic is dangerous, just as fire is dangerous. Anyone who forgets this truth gets burned.' She turned around to walk away with a snazzy pace, but she almost yelped as Solas appeared next to me. Why does he do that? 'Ah', she sneered, 'Another apostate?'

Solas smiled politely, his hands clasped behind his back. 'That is correct, Enchanter. I too did not train in your Circle.'

Vivienne regained her posture. 'Well, dear, I hope you can take care of yourself, should we encounter anything outside your experience.'

'I will try, in my own fumbling way, to learn from how you helped seal the rifts at Haven.' Solas didn't betray any emotion before he said, 'Ah, wait. My memory misleads me. You were not there.' Ow damn. Good to know Solas doesn't need magic to burn someone.

Vivienne scoffed and raised her chin and then walked away to her sheltered bedroom below deck. Bet that was quite a hit, being out-played by an Elven apostate. I looked at Solas and smiled, 'You just made my day!'

Solas chuckled, his eyes boring into mine. I looked away quickly, fearing my sea sickness would combine with that familiar ache and I'd throw up… again. I raised my arms above my head to stretch my limbs and vaguely smiled at Solas, who leant against the balustrade with one arm. 'You do not seem comfortable.' He said.

'I'm not. Don't like sailing.'

'Did you not sail often, during you travels?' He said with a neutral tone, but I saw his curiosity.

'Very rarely. I mostly did everything by foot.'

Solas turned his head to me, and I focussed on the drop of sweat that fell down from his eyebrow to his cheekbone to his neck. 'That must have taken up quite a lot of time.'

'Y… yes.' I smiled nervously. What was his game? 'I'm going to get something to eat, maybe that'll make me feel better.'

Solas nodded and stared at me as I walked off.

When the sun had gone down, our party assembled near the centre of the deck. Torches were hanging down from the mast of the ship, casting warm lights on our group. We sat down in a circle on the floor, except for Vivienne of course, who had a chair brought up from her room. Varric began telling stories, which started to become a tradition during our travels. Maxwell was dozing off after the first fifteen minutes, his head leaning against Cassandra's shoulder. She didn't seem to mind as her cheeks glowed a soft red. As Varric told his story, Vivienne interrupted him countless times. 'Is that true, my dear?', 'I have heard otherwise', 'That seems unlikely, dear.' And I saw Varric getting more annoyed by the minute.

'Hey, Twinkle, tell me about that time with the Raiders.' Varric winked tiredly. Solas, who was leaning against a pole, in the dark, looked up to me.

'Another time, perhaps.' I smiled politely.

'Pretty please?'

I stared at the torches' curling flames and smiled. 'I can't give you a story, but I can give you a song?'

'Even better!' Varric turned to look at Vivienne, and she huffed.

Closing my eyes, I let my voice carry the familiar tones. No fiddle was needed, just my memory. A song I first heard from the Raiders, and the first song I had sung with my fiddle in The Hanged Man.

I've been a wild rover for many a year
And I've spent all my money on whiskey and beer
And now I'm returning with gold in great store
And I never will play the wild rover no more

And it's no, nay, never
No, nay, never, no more
And I'll play the wild rover
No never, no more

XXX

'You should sing more often, Twinkle.' Varric yawned.

'Maybe…' I smiled, my eyes getting tired too. 'But for now, I'm returning to bed.' Maxwell had already stumbled to bed, and so had Vivienne and Cassandra. Varric nodded one too many times, indicating he too would go to bed soon. I stood up from our little circle, and strolled back to my cabin. As I stopped before the door, a voice suddenly whispered in my ear and I yelped.

'JESUS', I cried, and then composed myself to whisper, 'Solas, damn it, stop being so sneaky.'

Solas leant against the wall next to my door, his grey eyes almost enlightening his face. 'Jesus?'

'Never mind that', I sighed.

Even in the dark I could feel Solas smirk. 'Come meet with me.'

A blush creeped over my cheeks, and I swallowed hard to keep the nauseating ache away, 'Excuse me?'

'In the Fade. Find me.' A challenge.

I nodded and grinned back. Solas hummed and pushed himself off the wall to go back to his own cabin. I stayed until I saw his figure completely disappear in the dark. Then, I entered my room and wouldn't come out until noon.

XXX

The Fade surrounded me, lulling me. I was in The Hanged Man, in Kirkwall. Through the small windows, I could see it was by nightfall. The smell of ale and sweat filled my nostrils. A soft murmuring danced through the tavern air, and I saw shadows of would-be customers, but I didn't feel like giving all of them a face.

No, I wasn't here to stay. I had to find Solas. But how do I do that?

I walked towards the door of the tavern that led to Lowtown and placed my hand on the rusty door knob. But before I twisted it to open, I thought of Solas.

Not the ache I had with him, not that warning feeling, but who he was as a person.

Magic and elfroot. Wool and old leather. Soft cotton and bone. Spirits. Protectiveness. Knowledge. Freckles. Grey eyes that see everything. And seem so, so old.

I twisted the door knob, and it opened silently. But not to Lowtown, Kirkwall, but to a place somewhere else. I gazed upon a large open field encircled by huge, strange trees that I hadn't seen before. Rocks floated like clouds in the skies, waterfalls of not water, but magic pouring down from them to a place beyond the horizon. I blinked my eyes, not once, but twice as I saw spirits jumping from tree to tree, drifting through this place with no worries. Here were no boundaries that kept them away, they were welcome here. Like friends.

I stepped through the door, but didn't close it behind me. I left it open by a crack. Always keep sight of the way out. I had listened.

I strolled towards that meadow, and with every step, my eyes adverted to the door. Still there. Still there.

'Good. You found me.' Solas appeared from behind the trees. This time I saw him coming.

I smiled, 'Wasn't that difficult, actually.' I looked him up and down, my green eye twirling and spitting. Not a reflection. Just him, dressed in his everyday clothes. A simple cotton tunic, no green woollen overcoat this time, his tattered pants and foot wraps, and his favourite jawline necklace.

I glanced at the door again. Still there.

Solas stepped around me, his eyes almost… checking me out? 'Hey!' I mumbled and stepped away from him before realizing I wasn't wearing my normal gear anymore, but a simple white dress. 'What the…'

'You stopped focussing.' He smiled innocently.

I hummed and willed my other clothes back, and with a snap, I was again wearing my travel outfit, just like before. 'You got me.' I smiled sheepishly. 'So, how will this training go?'

Solas held his head to the side never looking away from my eyes, 'I will test you, see if you can learn to remain focussed.'

'I am.'

'You are now', he corrected. 'Walk with me.' We strolled through the meadow and towards the forest. As we entered the treeline, I could still see my door, and I willed it silently to follow me through the woods so I could keep an eye on it.

'Where are we?'

'A place I found during my travels. Many spirits venture to this place in the Fade.'

'Like a gathering?'

'Something like that.'

'You told me', glance at the door, still there, glance at the outfit, luckily still there as well, 'you made friendships with spirits. Can I meet them?'

Solas raised his brows a little, 'You would?'

'I met spirits before. A spirit of Learning once helped to guide me. But I haven't seen it ever since.'

'The existence of spirits is not of a fleeting nature. That spirit will find you again when you have need of it.'

'I don't really need a spirit of Learning now, I have you, no?' I smiled playfully. Solas nodded, his face remaining neutral. 'But, tell me, how do you know you aren't conversing with a demon?'

Solas hummed approvingly, 'I learned how to defend myself against more aggressive spirits and how to interact safely with the rest.'

'Aggressive spirits… meaning demons?'

Solas gave me an encouraging look as he said, 'The Fade, as you know, reflects the mind of the living. If you expect a spirit of wisdom, for example, to be a pride demon, it will adapt. And if your mind is free from corrupting influences? If you understand the nature of the spirit? They can be fast friends.'

'I never knew that… Maybe next time I encounter a demon, or spirit, I'll think about what you said.' I smiled.

Solas smiled back and raised his hand. I followed his gestures, seeing how his fingers painted invisible patterns in the air, and suddenly the trees turned aside, giving way to another open meadow. 'Come', he smiled.

And I followed, asking more and more questions about his spirit friends. And he answered them softly, telling me about spirits of Wisdom and Purpose, and in turn, I told him about Learning, and how it had been bound to Tsura, the Rivaini seer I'd met. And he listened to me with intrigue in his eyes. The more we talked, the more I seemed to forget. The more my focus seemed to wade away like foam.

The door! I stopped talking and looked back, my eyes full of panic. It was gone. I turned to Solas and he smiled innocently.

Shit!

I took a step back, willing the door with my mind. Return. Return? Return!

'Focus, Saeris.' Solas walked around me, his voice strumming through my mind. Focus. Focus. Focus. I opened my eyes again, and saw the door again standing near the back of the meadow.

'Good.' Solas chuckled.

How did he do all of this with such ease? I'm around two hundred years old and even I can't control the Fade like that. How much time did he spend sleeping?

I sighed, wiping the sweat from my forehead. 'You really know how to challenge someone.'

'As a teacher should.' Solas hummed. 'But in its entirety, Saeris, you are doing remarkably well.'

'I had practice', I cursed.

'You had.' Solas hummed as he stepped closer to me again. 'You have your way out in eyesight, and know how to find it when lost. Yet, never lose your focus.'

'I'm trying.' I laughed tiredly and looked up to him again. He came closer now, maybe too close. If we hadn't been in the Fade, my stomach would've emptied itself already. But now, silence overtook us, and I felt my eye twist and twirl in its orbit.

'You are truly fascinating', Solas whispered, and I wondered if I was supposed to hear that.

I swallowed hard. Control that heartbeat of yours, I'm sure he can hear it. Don't act all nervous now. Why would I even be nervous?
Solas stepped closer again, until his face was right up to mine. And deep in my mind, a lost memory of Daniel ghosted me. A memory of his eyes, of his smile… a memory of happiness.

And it scared me.

Solas suddenly raised his hands and rested them on my shoulders. I looked up to him with a confused stare. 'What are you…'

But Solas chuckled and whispered, his lips almost touching my ears, 'You lost focus.'

And then he pushed me out of his dream.

XXX

I pushed myself up, my elbows deep in the fluffy mattress of the bed. The boat was still rocking solemnly on the waves, the drum of the wind against the sails trembling through my cabin.

That bastard pushed me out. Damn it! 'Fenedhis lasa, Solas!' I threw my arms against my pillows as a silent curse.

I resumed sleep again not much later, but the Fade couldn't find me anymore that night.