CHAPTER 26

Thank you Oopsdaze, Momentum123, EJM87 and everybody else who posted their review and still remained with me even after my goof ups. You guys have no idea how good it felt to read your feedback. Love you all. Hope you like this chapter as well.

BELLA

"Come on, come on" I kept muttering as I willed water to come up and crash the walls down.

It would be so good if it also destroyed the bedroom. It wouldn't make any difference to that jerk since he would simply get some other room to have his horny ways but at least I would gain some satisfaction in seeing a part of his castle or whatever getting destroyed. And water? I hoped it let me slide or rather flow along with it, freeing me from this beautiful prison Edward had locked me in.

I could feel a zinging sensation in my arms as I concentrated with all my might. My palms were in the basin, getting wet under the tap of running liquid trying to hold it and mould it according to my needs as I imagined water jumping up and increasing its flow. It was as if there was an intricate connection which my body was trying to make with water but a thick invisible barrier was blocking that connection. It was as if I could almost touch water, touch its essence, its soul, become one with it, listen to it and make it listen to me but, something was stopping it. Something that wanted me to be with it yet was pulling me away, pushing the soul of water away from me so that I couldn't grasp it. Something that did not want me to be with it because...because it was afraid of what would happen. Afraid that I won't be able to handle it. Something that was provoking me to search for some other way to escape rather than this despite knowing that there was no other way.

And that something, was my brain.

Yes, it was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid of what would happen if I wasn't able to handle it. I was afraid that the element which I was trying to call to come for my aid, what if it went out of control and ended up destroying me? I wanted to touch water but at the same time I was afraid of drowning in it.

And I was afraid because, I was afraid of dying.

Well, that was a first.

Waiting for death was my biggest solace. It gave me a purpose to carry on, because I was hopeful that someday my grave would find me and take me in its embrace. It would free me by locking my maimed body only to let it go after sometime and liberate my blackened soul to rot in hell. I used to believe I was heartless while learning the tricks of the trade to durability. I had got betrayed so I had betrayed back. I had been shown kindness in the form of pennies and morsels and I had repaid it by stealing the entire wallet from the same person and spoiling his food. I had thrown stones at stray dogs just to see them jump in pain because it had given me an immense satisfaction to see somebody else getting hurt along with me even if it was just an animal. I had taken pleasure in killing insects under my feet wishing they thanked me for freeing them from the prison of life.

Being heartless was actually a good feeling, because one felt nothing at all. What an ironical contradiction, but so beautiful, so meaningful, so needy. So much bloody required.

Everything had been going fine until Jeff had happened. I had met him, we had shared the thrown leftovers and, we were together. I frowned. Something was amiss. Why had I started trusting Jeff?

I didn't remember.

But whatever maybe the reason, being with him had made me realize that I wasn't heartless otherwise no way I would have sworn to protect him with my life by keeping him first, before me in everything I did and worked for. I was just an empty person who had happened to have a small malfunction in her chest which was making me stay with Jeff otherwise I would have left him long back.

And that malfunction was being dead hearted, but nonetheless having a heart. I always found the sound of heartbeat disgusting, because it reminded me of life, a gross reminder that I was still alive and suffering. Each beat mocked me, taunted me and reminded me that my wait was still not over, that I was still very much breathing, doing nothing but pushing me to the brink of insanity.

Heart and its emotions were just...ugh!

And now, when I had thought that I had found a way to not only escape from this prison but also put my forever wait to an end, I was getting afraid? Why? Because of Edward? Because I didn't want him, without me? Because I wanted to, be with him? Because, I didn't want him to...find somebody else after me? I opened my eyes with a deep sigh as my concentration broke.

And there happened another first time. I spoke to my heart knowing there wouldn't be an reply since it was dead yet I asked. "What is wrong with you, you shit?"

Of course there was no response. Well, thanks for proving me right there mister. With the amount of betrayals my heart was throwing at me, it was comforting to see that it was still with me in one venture. Well, it was dead right. Then why did I have to be afraid of death? I should and I would call the power, use it to escape and if possible, allow it to kill me too.

Freedom, the most delicious dish of all. I definitely deserved to taste it before being declared as the number one sinner in the hell of Hades.

So mustering all my concentration, I began to focus again and felt the familiar zing in my arms. Focus, focus. Get it done. Come to me. Help me. I will...

However, the sharp knock on the door murdered it right away.

"Bella?"