Chapter Twenty-Nine

Comes Around

It had been three days since Evy returned. Though Dean was upset with her over running away, he felt sorry for her when he realized that Sam wasn't going to let her off easy. So he welcomed her the next morning with a tight hug, a kiss on the cheek, and a simple request to not scare him by doing it again. Evy swore she wouldn't, and Dean let the matter drop as far as he was concerned. Jordan was angry when she told him she had run away on her own, but Dean had warned him that Sam was giving her the silent treatment. Jordan made her promise him that she wouldn't do it again, and they were back to normal too.

Sam was the complete opposite. He wouldn't talk to Evy, wouldn't look at her, and would leave the room if she came in. Dean tried to convince him to talk to her, to hash it out more calmly than he had the night she'd come home, but Sam refused. Evy went to bed crying every night, which Dean pointed out to Sam, but Sam seemed unfazed.

Evy decided to try and force him to talk. She woke up one morning an hour before Sam did. She made the coffee for him and Dean, made pancakes, eggs, and bacon. Sam walked in just as she was cleaning off the counter. He was already dressed for work.

"Hi." she said. When he didn't respond, she said, "Good morning."
"Morning." Sam said, without enthusiasm.

"I made you some breakfast." Evy said, pointing to the table.

Sam poured himself some coffee into a travel mug. "I have to get to work." he said, turning and starting to walk out the door.

Sam had been in the kitchen for forty-five seconds, but he had not looked at her the entire time. Evy leaned back against the kitchen sink, devastated. She wanted to cry, but felt like she was out of tears. Just before Sam made it to the kitchen door, she asked,

"How much longer is this going to go on?"

Sam froze. "What are you talking about?"
"This!" Evy said, pointing to herself and Sam. "Ignoring me."
"I don't know." Sam said.

Evy was desperate and couldn't think of anything else to do. "Talk to me." she begged. "Please."

Sam actually laughed at this. "Now you want to talk?"

"Yes! Please. Don't do this. Don't shut me out." Evy said.

"I don't have time for this." Sam said. "I'm going to work."

Evy went after Sam as he started to head towards the front door. "Do you hate me?"

Sam's hand was on the front doorknob when she said that. Her question made him stop, and for one glorious moment, Evy thought he'd turn around and actually say something to her. She'd take anything at this point, as long as it wasn't an answer of 'yes' to her question. Instead, Sam opened the door, walked out, and closed it behind him. Dean had woken up when he heard the two of them talking, and held his breath, hoping they would make up. When Sam left, Dean cursed at him under his breath. Dean crawled out of bed and went to the living room, where he found Evy quietly crying on the couch. He didn't say anything, just sat next to her and wrapped both arms around her.

"He hates me." Evy sobbed into Dean's shoulder.

"No. No, he doesn't." Dean assured her.

"Then why won't he talk to me?" Evy asked. "And why wouldn't he answer me?"

"I don't know, kiddo. But I'll talk to him tonight and try to find out." Dean said. "This has gone on long enough."

Dean ate the breakfast she'd made before leaving for work himself. He'd tried to cheer her up by acting liking it was the best thing she'd ever made, but Evy barely responded. She picked at her breakfast, and when Dean left, he urged her to get out of the house and do something. Evy promised she'd think about it, but she had no desire to get out. When she heard Dean's car pull out, Evy picked up her phone and called Jody.

"Hey, kiddo. How's it going?"

"Hi." Evy said.

Jody didn't miss the fact that she was sniffling. "What's wrong?"

"Can I come stay with you for a while? Until I start school?"

"You just got home, sweetie. Why do you want to leave again?" Jody asked. "Won't your dad be upset?"

"I doubt it." Evy said sadly.

"What do you mean, baby?" Jody asked. "What's wrong?"

Evy told Jody the whole story about what had happened when she got home. Sam blowing up at her, giving her the silent treatment ever since, ignoring her, and finally what had happened when he left that morning. Jody bit her tongue. She knew Sam was hurt, and angry, and he had every right to be. But Evy had more than shown genuine remorse for her actions, and was trying to make it up to him. Sam was the adult in this situation, and it seemed he needed a reminder of it.

"Listen, sweetie. You know you can stay with me anytime you want. But let me come get you, okay? I'm off for a couple days. I'll be there in a few hours."

"Okay. Thanks, aunt Jody." Evy said, grateful she had a place to go this time.

"Sure. I'll be there soon." Jody repeated. "Love you, kid."

"Love you too."

Evy hung up with Jody and headed to her room. She started to pack, glad that Dean wasn't around to stop her. She wondered how Sam would react if he was there, and thought about calling or texting him to tell him she was leaving with Jody. He won't care, a voice in the back of her head told her. Once the bag was packed, she sat on her bed wondering what to do now. Jody was still more than four hours away, and no one else would be home for even longer than that. She decided to write Sam a letter, explaining herself, since he wasn't letting her do it when they were together in person.

Dear Daddy,

I want to tell you again I'm really sorry for hurting you. I know you think I did, but I didn't run away to hurt you. I only realized later, once I was gone, that I had done that. I was mad when I ran away, but that's not all. I was feeling guilty, confused, and sad.

I ran away because I didn't know who I was anymore. You told me about this amazing person that you and Dean had raised, who grew up helping you two fight monsters and that eventually saved the world. You lost her, so when I came back into your life, you kept me so you'd have what you called a 'second chance'.

Here's the problem. She's not me. Sure, we have the same life until age six, but she isn't me. We don't have the same experiences, like the same things, or feel the same feelings. And all I could think as you and Dean told me about all this was, if you kept me because you wanted her back, then how badly could you really want me? It made me feel like a copy of someone else you really wanted around. And based on what you told me, a bad one.

That's why I ran away. I wasn't happy that you guys didn't tell me, but that had nothing to do with me running away. I was upset you lied about it, but I get it now. I was way too young back then to understand it.

I do love you. You have always been there for me, and I've never doubted that you loved me. I know I ruined that. I'm going to Jody's so maybe you can have a break from being so angry. I don't want to go, but you've made it pretty clear the last few days how you feel about me right now. If you ever do want to talk to me again, I'll be there.

Please reconsider, daddy. Do what you want-talk to me, yell at me again, scream, hit me, whatever, just please stop shutting me out. It hurts too much.

Love,

Evy xoxo

Evy was crying again when the letter was written, but she folded it up and put in an envelope, addressed it to Sam, and left it in the living room in front of the TV. She laid down on the couch and fell asleep. She dreamt while she slept, mostly flashbacks of happy memories she had with Sam. She was woken up by someone shaking her and calling her name.

"Wake up, kiddo."

"Huh?" Evy asked, sleep still heavy over her.

"It's me." Jody had used her spare key to come in. "Here, drink this." Jody handed her a cup of coffee, and sat next to her on the couch. "All right, tell me what's going on."
Evy recapped everything for her again. "I don't know what else to do."

"I'll take care of it." Jody said. "Just trust me, okay?"

Dean came home a few minutes later. He was surprised to see Jody, but Jody simply told him she was there to help them and to wait and see how. When Sam pulled up in the driveway, Jody sent Evy to her room.

"Dean, follow my lead." she said, to which Dean simply nodded.

Sam walked in and stopped at the sight of Jody. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you guys. Do I need a reason?" Jody asked.

"Of course not. But you usually do." Sam said as he came in to give her a hug.

"How you doing, Sam?" Jody asked.

"I'm okay." Sam answered as he sat next to her, although he couldn't look her in the eye when he said it.

"Yeah?" Jody asked. "Then why did Evy call me a few hours ago, crying and begging me to come get her?"

Sam did his best to seem unbothered by that, but it stung. "She did, huh? It's her choice. She wants to go, she can."

"And when I asked her if you would be upset she said 'I doubt it'." Jody continued, as if Sam hadn't even spoken.

That stung too. "She said that?"

"Yes." Jody answered. "I've heard her story. What's yours?"

Sam gave her his version of the last week or so. He tried to rationalize his reaction to her, but his resolve was starting to crumble. If she was believing he didn't care about her at all, he needed to rethink how he was acting. Even given his thoughts on the way he'd treated her the last few days, Jody's strong reaction surprised him.

"Sam, you selfish bastard!"

"What?" Sam asked.

"You heard me." Jody said. "Sam, I told you when Evy first got here that you were going to run into stuff this time around that you didn't know how to deal with. You wanted to give her a normal life, and you did a great job with that. But, newsflash, you got a normal teenager too. They do stupid, reckless things, especially when they're mad, or hurt, or confused. She was all three. She's mostly been a smart, responsible kid, but the first time she does something stupid that hurts your feelings you turn your back on her."

Sam suddenly felt just as ashamed as Evy had when she'd returned home.

"Read this." Jody said.

Jody handed him the letter Evy had written him. Evy had shown it to her, and given her permission to give it to Sam. Sam read it through and felt sick to his stomach. He'd thought her motivation for running had been purely selfish. But it hit him hard that Evy was absolutely right. She wasn't the same person that had died in his arms nearly fifteen years earlier. She did have a similar personality, but had lived different experiences, done different things, and had a different life. He had known that in the back of his mind for years, but refused to acknowledge it. If she wasn't the same person, then it meant he really had lost her and would never get her back.

"Sam."

"What?" Sam asked.

"Go talk to her. Fix this before it's too late." Jody urged.

Sam nodded, got up and walked slowly down the hall towards Evy's room. He knocked softly and waited, remembering the first time he'd explained to her at age six that she could refuse to let him come in if she didn't want him in her room for some reason.

"You can always come in, Sammy." she said innocently.

"Come in."

Sam pulled the door open. Evy was sitting on her bed, her suitcase packed and zipped up. She looked away from him, and had Squish in her lap. Squish meowed loudly at Sam, as if he could tell that Sam was the one causing Evy's pain.

"Can I talk to you?" Sam asked cautiously.

Evy looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes. "I wish you would."

Sam frowned and sat next to her on the bed. "Baby, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Evy asked.

"The way I've been treating you. You didn't deserve that." Sam said.

Evy's bottom lip started quivering. "Did you mean what you said when I came home?"

"I said a lot of things." Sam reminded her.

"About not being proud of me anymore." Evy asked, fighting back tears. "And regretting it…"

"No." Sam said firmly. "No. I was angry, and I was hurt, and I said a lot of stuff I didn't mean."

"I'm sorry, daddy…"
"I know, baby. I know you are. I'm sorry too, okay?" Sam repeated again. When Evy just nodded and didn't respond, Sam showed her the letter. "Jody gave me this. I have a couple more things to tell you. Will you let me explain?"

"Sure." Evy said.

"You're right. You are a different person from the Evy I knew before. When she died, it ripped my heart out. It hurt so bad I thought I'd die from the pain alone. When you landed at the bunker, it was like I told you back then. I thought it was a second chance." Sam said. When Evy wiped her face, Sam reached out and took her hand in his. "When you went missing, and we didn't know where you were, it was like I was going through that all over again. Then when I realized that you did it on purpose, that's why I got so angry. But that's not an excuse. I should have talked to you about it, like I'm always telling you to do, not screamed at you like that."

Evy nodded. "Thank you."

"But, just because you are a different person from her, does not mean that I don't love you just as much. Baby, I never would have made it without you. You're the reason I didn't die from a broken heart. You saved my life." Sam said.

Evy smiled for the first time in days. "I did?"

"You bet you did. I love you, baby."

Evy jumped up and wrapped her arms around Sam's neck. "I love you too, daddy."

"And please, if you're ever that mad or that hurt because of me again, just talk to me, okay? Like I said, I don't care if you yell, scream, whatever, just talk to me." Sam asked as he held on to her.

"I will." Evy promised.

"Good. Because if you don't…" Sam pulled her away from him a little so he could look in her eyes. "If you scare me like that on purpose again, especially because you got mad and didn't talk to me about it, I will follow through on my threat. You'll get the same punishment dad gave me when I ran away. You understand me?"

Evy swallowed hard. "I understand. I won't, daddy, I swear."

"Okay. I believe you." Sam said, brushing some of her hair out of her face. "How about we start over?"

"Sounds good." Evy said. "I feel bad aunt Jody came all this way for nothing though."

"I have a feeling she did exactly what she set out to do." When Evy's stomach growled, Sam laughed. "What do you want for dinner?"
Evy grinned. "Pie."
Sam laughed again and pulled her into another hug. "I love you so much."

"Love you too, daddy."

"Seriously, what do you want for dinner?" San asked again.

"Who says I was kidding?"

Next Chapter: Not telling :), but it'll be up fairly soon. Late tonight, tomorrow, or the next day at the latest. It'll be much, much happier than this one. Promise.