Thank you so much to everyone who is still reading, and an extra big thank you to those who continue to review MLoF (whether through comments or PMs)! It means so much to me that you still care about my story and support it.
The next three chapters are, in some senses, a trilogy of sorts. They happen back-to-back, and they're pretty important to the storyline.
For those of you who wanted more Sam/Freddie interaction, here you go...
Chapter 27: My First Time Getting Stuck (in a Janitor's Closet)
The good news was that our near-death experience had been kept quiet.
The bad news was that we had told Carly, and ever since, she had been watching the two of us much too closely for comfort.
And that meant getting the skeptical look if I so much as breathed in Freddie's direction.
It also meant being subjected to Carly's predictable attempts to get us to bond or something.
I love the girl, I really do, but sometimes she just needs to give up. Maybe she can fix world hunger and war and natural disaster, but the convoluted thing some people call a relationship but we more accurately label as constant animosity that Freddie and I shared was a disaster far greater than any earthquake or tropical storm. By 'we label,' I mean 'I label,' but who cares?
No one. The question's rhetorical. Look at me using fancy big words.
The good part about Carly's constant presence was that Freddie and I had no opportunity to even consider discussing what he had suggested we talk about. What a nub. Aren't girls supposed to be the ones who want to talk about their feelings and over-analyze things until they mean something different?
Maybe since I wasn't one of those girls, Freddie was taking over the role for me. If that was the case, Carly was welcome to never leave our sides. Still, she was almost too concerned, and I don't need my hand held while crossing the street. Seventeen is practically adulthood.
"I'm hungry." It was 10:30 and we were supposed to be writing about an event in our life or some chizz like that, but all I could think about was pizza. And ham. And old people soup. Don't judge me. You're not close enough to a hospital for that.
"Shhhh," I heard Carly shush me as she continued what was probably a twelve-page dissertation about the time she skinned her knee after falling from the monkey bars in kindergarten. She was such an overachiever. A clumsy one, but still an overachiever.
The clock kept ticking and I had already written and erased four starting sentences. How the hell was I supposed to know what to write about? Our teacher had already told me I wasn't allowed to write anything about food. Apparently I did that too often. Jerk.
By the time the bell rang, I had gotten down a decent sized paragraph and Carly had made an aggravated noise about not being able to finish before stapling her papers together.
Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I followed my friend into the hallway. Freddie wasn't with us for once, but that didn't really mean I could breathe because apparently I was more of a safety concern than he was or something like that. It was unfair that the nub got to miss classes just to prepare for some nerd convention after school. Only five-year-olds build robots. Everyone knows that.
"Have any plans after school?"
"Huh?" I snapped out of my daze and looked over at my best friend.
"What are you doing after school?"
"Homework. Loads and loads of it."
"Really?" Her eyes lit up with hope that definitely shouldn't have been there.
"We've known each other a long time, Carls. You should know by now that there's no truth behind that statement."
She sighed, nodding. "I guess you're right. So, what are you doing after school?"
"Nothing, I don't think. Why the sudden interest in my very busy schedule, kid?"
She shrugged. The fact that she was actually pulling off the nonchalant thing meant that she wasn't secretly planning something. Carly had never been good at acting casual under what she considered pressure, which was pretty much any conversation she ever had while she was hiding something. "Just curious. Spencer did just go grocery shopping, and we got more of that jerky."
"The Hungry Hippo Tough Beef Jerky?" It was my turn to bounce like a freak.
"I think so?" she chuckled.
"I'll be there." I pointed at her excitedly, still doing so as I swiveled around and began walking backward until I was far down the hallway. We didn't have all of our classes together, mostly because Carly was placed in several honors courses and yours truly didn't care enough to even try to be.
The rest of the day passed pretty quickly. Or, at least, it started out that way. I was distracted by thoughts of delicious jerky, but it's not like I ever paid much attention in class, anyway.
After last period, I was rambling on to Carly about my love for the special beef jerky as she packed her backpack with everything she'd need for homework. Once she swung her locker shut, we made our way through the school. Even if she didn't have two million clubs today, she still wanted to drop off an extra credit assignment on our science teacher's desk. Carly was not really a math and science person, and so she tried extra hard to keep her grade up. It was kind of pointless, in my opinion, since she always had at least an A- in all of her classes, but I had learned long before to never question her about her methods when it came to schoolwork. She got all freaky and lecturey and crazy-eyed as she ranted, so I just didn't enter that territory.
As we made our way out of the room, I was still talking about the glory of beef jerky and everything that made it great, when a nub decided to walk up beside Carly.
Of course, being the nice person she is, she turned to him with a smile and asked how all of the preparations for his dumb showcase or whatever were going. He explained and she acted as if she knew half of what he was saying. Maybe she understood more than I did, but that boy speaks a language all his own sometimes.
I didn't try to hide my boredom with the conversation. Then again, when things took the nerdy brick road, I never really did. Unfortunately, Carly decided that she should keep being social and friendly, which meant talking to me, which also meant I had to pay attention.
"Sam and I were just about to go back to the apartment since Spencer bought some of that beef jerky."
"The Hungry Hippo Tough Beef Jerky?"
She frowned, "how come everyone can remember the name of it but me?"
"Because you hate beef jerky," I laughed, shaking my head as if it was a disgrace. Which it kind of is. But Carly's special, so I let her off the hook.
"It's also not as gross as some other jerky."
"That's because your mommy feeds you weird composted meat," I rolled my eyes.
"Organic," he mumbled, clearly not in the mood to talk to me.
So, naturally, I continued our chat.
"What was that, Benson?"
"Nothing," he shrugged, looking around. "You know, I should go help with-"
I felt a sudden tug on the collar of my shirt and was ready to take someone out until I realized it was Carly, and that she had grabbed both of our collars. "Enough," she straightened up, putting on her authoritative personality.
Stupid Freddie. He could never let things go. Instead, he had to act all weird and give Carly reason to freak out and try to fix things that weren't even her fault. Just like when he handcuffed me to Gibby.
"What now?" I groaned.
"I have had enough of your weirdness and your arguing and I have a lot of tests coming up and cannot deal with the added stress of you two being hostile on top of my test anxiety. Maybe I'll do well, but as I told the school counselor, I can't help but freak out about every little detail when there is so much I could get wrong."
I'm pretty sure Freddie and I were just staring at her dumbly at this point, rather shocked and confused by her sudden outburst. It did involve lots of rambling and confessing, which is what she always did when she was nervous. At least she hadn't gone totally bonkers and become another person.
"Now, I don't know all of what's going on here, but you two at least looked at each other a month ago, and it's not like Sam just started beating you up yesterday. Not that I condone violence," she gave me a sharp look. "But, no matter what it is, I will not have it. So, you two are going to go in here," she let go of Freddie long enough to yank open the door to the janitor's closet that we happened to have stopped next to. Carly gave both of us a shove into it with surprising strength, though my confusion had left me stunned and weak. "And you are going to talk out your feelings and your problems. I will be back in half an hour, and I expect both of you to still be in there and to be talking and for Freddie to have no injuries."
Another pointed look.
Being the caring person she is, she couldn't just slam the door and storm off. Instead she reached up and turned on the light and double-checked that there weren't any sharp objects or toxic liquids in sight. "Okay?"
The question wasn't one we were meant to answer, and she finally began to close the door. Before it was totally shut, she peeked in, her expression sad. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I really would prefer to not do this, but it's either this or I take you to the school counselor, and Sam's banned from her office. I would have Spencer counsel you but he's feeding seals with Socko. Just, please don't kill each other. You guys mean a lot to me and I don't want there to be weirdness."
With one final apologetic look, she sighed and then clicked the door shut.
We stood there in silence for some time. I was still trying to figure out what had happened. Carly rarely got that assertive and made comments about her friends' interaction (or lack thereof). I realized sadly that we really might have caused her a good deal of stress. Not that I could help feeling weird around Freddie with the confusing mixture of things I thought about him and the even more confusing things that had happened, but I never wanted Carly to get stuck in the middle of things. She meant too much to me for that, and I knew she meant a lot to Freddie, too. She was a great person and far too nice to me for me to ruin her life.
But, that didn't mean I was going to sit through a talk with Freddie in a closet. It's not like I was the type of girl to talk about my feelings, anyway, so there was little point to this arrangement.
"Sam-" his voice was hesitant.
"All right, I'm out," I straightened up and turned toward the door, turning the knob and pushing. Yet it didn't open. "What kind of chizz is this?" I rattled the knob, but the door didn't budge.
I heard a frustrated sigh behind me and turned around, raising an eyebrow.
"It must lock automatically. Remember that paper towel raid they had in November? They probably altered the locks so you can only get out with a key. That way, a student can get in, but they can't run out with any stuff."
"Because paper towels are so important," I made a weird look. Some people were such freaks.
He shrugged. Yep, he's still useless. "Waiting for Carly might be our best bet."
"I don't think so."
"Do you have a better idea?"
"Shut up, Benson. As a matter of fact, I do. I'll just break it down."
"You can't do that."
"You can watch if you want. Don't be frightened."
"That's not what I mean-"
"Then start talking."
"I just meant that if you break it down, then you're going to get in trouble, and you only have so many strikes left before you get expelled, and if you get expelled, then you won't see Carly as often and might end up in Peruvian jail and be stuck eating nothing but Peruvian Puff Peppers until Carly bails you out ten years later and finally gives you a glass of water."
"They wouldn't know I did it unless someone told them," I raised my eyebrows.
"No one's going to believe I broke down the door. Especially not if I'm still standing in the closet."
"Fair point. And nice save, but we both know you're not strong."
He rolled his eyes, but I could see that he was smiling by the dim light from above us.
Silence followed, and even I was starting to feel awkward. Sam Puckett didn't do awkward silences. Unfortunately, the quiet not only made me feel awkward, but it also gave me time to think, which was something I tried to avoid unless ham was involved.
"You really thought that through," I looked over to him, holding my elbow with the opposite hand.
"What d'you mean?"
"What would happen if I got in big trouble a few more times." I shrugged this time. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "You had a whole scenario, is all."
It was weird. I liked Freddie, well, I more than liked him, but I didn't have time to think about that right now. I knew I did, and no matter how inconvenient and terrible it was, it was true. Those stupid feelings had somehow led me to kiss him on my birthday, and now we were stuck being awkward and not really talking. But that was my problem. He didn't know and it was better that way. I tried my best to hide any non-hostile thoughts about him, only allowing a few friendish moments to pop through now and then, just as usual.
Yet that didn't explain why he was acting weird. I knew he didn't totally hate me for some strange reason, but I figured it was because of Carly, since she had an odd talent for making people less terrible. Obviously he didn't like me – such an impossible suggestion was never even in the question. What I didn't get was why he actually seemed to care sometimes. It had been getting more frequent, like when he had come to talk after accidentally spilling the beans to Carly about our kiss. Not that I hadn't done something similar after telling the world he had never kissed anyone, but this time it had been different.
The issue with me kissing him was not just that I had kissed him – which was a huge problem because it was one of the worst things that could ever happen in life, especially since it hadn't been awful – but also that things between us had been even stranger than usual afterward. Not that talking it out was an option; I made that clear when I nearly rammed us into a tree several days ago.
But, that was exactly why we were stuck in here together. I wasn't the type of girl to talk out her feelings, but it seemed like we were actually going to be stuck talking about a thing or two, thanks to my best friend and the dumb janitors.
It wasn't for a minute or more that I realized Freddie hadn't said anything in reply. He really was being weird.
"Anyway," I cleared my throat, shifting to sit back against one of the shelves.
"Yeah, sorry, I-" Freddie cut off his words with a sigh. "I guess I've just heard Carly worry about it enough that I've given it quite a bit of consideration over the years."
"Makes sense." And it did. It involved Carly, just like most of his explanations, which was logical since, after all, she was our mediator. And she had stuck us in the closet.
"So, uh, we're supposed to discuss the weirdness Carly thinks exists between us, huh?" He ran a hand through his hair, and for once, I wasn't sure whether he looked more scared of my reaction or awkward about this situation.
I nodded, slowly at first before finally making it clear that I did agree.
"I'm not sure the fact that I've considered where you might end up in prison counts as something that would be affecting our current weirdness for whatever it is."
"Don't try to escape talking about something. If I can't, neither can you."
"Yeah, but uh," he fidgeted a bit. "I already explained."
"True." I frowned. This left the focus of the conversation out in the open again, and I knew where we were supposed to take it. I also knew I couldn't scare Freddie into silence by speeding again, at the moment. Plus, I wasn't allowed to harm him, and while I tended to take Carly's rules about injuring Freddie with a grain of salt, she had seemed really hurt by our tension and stuff, so I figured I should do something for the girl who did everything for me.
"Let's make this as short as possible. Why do you think things might be weird between us now?"
"Because you're a nub who's obsessed with tech chizz and who stopped talking to me."
"I'm talking to you right now."
"Not the point."
He sighed, leaning back and stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Well I can't bring it up or you might try to kill me again."
"Murdering someone in a janitor closet is far too overdone."
"That's reassuring," he snorted and I shot him a sharp look, but it fell flat sooner than I meant for it to.
There was a pause but I broke it before it could make things even weirder. "I didn't try to kill you." My voice was kind of soft, but we were alone in a closet, so it's not like he couldn't hear it. Apparently I was going to make things weirder.
"What?"
"I didn't try to kill you."
"I heard you the first time. I just- Sam, you drove faster than the people on closed courses in car commercials. You nearly ran us into another vehicle and subsequently into a tree. How does that not imply attempted homicide?"
"Why would I waste my own life if I was merely trying to get rid of you?"
He seemed to actually be contemplating this for a short while before he half-nodded, half-bobbed his head side to side. "I guess."
I picked up a huge roll of tape from a spot next to me on the shelf and began fiddling with it.
The shuffling of his feet made me look up, and I noticed that he had straightened himself in somewhat of a serious nature.
"Okay," he breathed. "Let's be real here. We're both fully aware of why things are weird between us, but only one of us knows why that thing happened, and that one person would be you. Please just explain so we can move on and then I can finish prepping for the convention and you can go eat jerky once Carly arrives."
I rolled my eyes. "You're so full of it."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard what I said."
"That doesn't mean I understood it."
"Basically, you're stupid."
"Gee, thanks."
'…so we can move on….' If only it were that easy. You don't have any clue how much I want this to pass. I just want to be over you so we can get back to the random bickering and neutrality we used to have. I shrugged, as if I didn't care how he felt. Unfortunately, I did, and it was confusing. Even if I knew why I cared, I didn't know why that explanation was a real one. Why does part of me not want this to pass? This is Frednub we're dealing with, the King of the Nubs, the nerdy little boy who tagged Carly along everywhere. The boy I love. Dang you, world. Why do you have to make me have feelings for the wimp? You could have chosen anyone and you chose him. I sighed in frustration.
I was surprised Freddie hadn't called up a doctor to ensure I wasn't going whacko or something after I kissed him. Of course he had hated it, and I'm sure he had barely thought about it since, other than when he ran into me and veered in the opposite direction. But he had kept quiet. Who knew Frednub could be such a good secret keeper? Definitely not me. I would never have told him a secret to begin with. Yet he knew so many of my secrets: that I had kissed him, that I had a list, and several things he had gotten to hear when I confessed to Carly, like my shoplifting excursion and my disappointment over my father cancelling his visit.
The fact that I couldn't bring myself to hate the experience, no matter how much I said I did when Carly brought it up, was painful. This isn't any sort of super hot meat-loving hunk of boy we're talking about. It's just Freddie. The tech wiz who has nothing better to do with his time than restructure old computers. The boy who I had beat up and targeted for years. The boy who looked kind of cute with the remains of his baby fat yet had somehow worked up rather impressive muscles over the past few months. I really needed to stop noticing that as he crossed his arms, his sleeves tightened around the muscles he appeared to have gained overnight.
So I can be a little girly at times, okay? Carly is infectious.
His voice thankfully broke my thoughts, even if he wasn't saying anything I wanted to hear.
"Can you just give me a reason?" there was a confused and hesitant look in his eyes, and I felt myself sigh inside. "Just say, hey Freddie, I kissed you because it's all part of some elaborate plan that involves both physical and mental torture and that you're never going to see coming, no matter how hard you think about it. Or, hey Freddie, I kissed you because I had put on poisonous lipstick and you were actually meant to die. Please don't kill me, by the way. Even just, hey Freddie, I kissed you because I was bored and I love messing with your mind and wanted to see if you'd scream or faint or something like that. Just… anything. Say anything. Something. Please."
I frowned, looking down at the tape again, flicking the frayed edge with my finger. "Is that really what you think of me?" I didn't dare look up at him. Who knows what my dumb face might have revealed.
I could tell he opened and closed his mouth several times before any sound came out. "No. No, I don't think you're a murderer or anything like that, but… What else am I supposed to think? You kissed me, Sam. Kissed me-"
"I was there."
"Not because we both wanted to get our first kisses out of the way or because you were dared to or because you wanted to see how long I could last before bolting. I don't know why. It makes no sense to me. But you haven't explained, and when I was going to ask you to, you went all Fast and Furious on me. Carly's been with us nearly every moment since, and I don't know what to say, because I don't even know what to expect. None of this is logical, and if it weren't for this conversation, I might have been on my way to believing it was all just some weird hallucination."
I chewed on my lip. He was being strangely open and honest with me. I probably should've done the same in return, but he was so far off from the truth, and I knew that he would bolt if he actually knew why I had done it.
My lack of response was making him fidgety again.
"At this point, I don't even care if you did it just to funk up my mind. I just want to have some sort of explanation so I can stop replaying the past half-decade of knowing you to figure out what I did to make you do what you did."
Wouldn't we all like to know?
"Carly won't be here for awhile, but just look at me and tell me you did it to mess with me or something and I promise I'll leave you alone for the rest of the time we're stuck in here."
"I didn't do it just to mess with you."
What was I saying? Sam's lips and Sam's logic don't really go hand-in-hand. I was actually just referring to the words I was currently uttering, but I guess the statement applies to the evening of my birthday, too. Darn mouth ruining my life along with the feelings that are just as horrible.
"You- you didn't?" He seemed confused, as if all I ever did was something to mess with him, which wasn't entirely inaccurate.
"No."
"Then, uh, why did you do it? Why did you, you know, kiss me?" He seemed to be shying away, as if anticipating some sort of outburst from the other person locked in the closet with him. It was a wise precaution, but I was feeling remarkably calm, possibly because I was in a state of shock as words continued pouring out of my mouth.
I looked up, my attention fully focused on the boy across from me for the first time that day.
Because I love you.
There was a sense of honest curiosity and confusion in his eyes, and, for some reason, it seemed my eyes reflected a no less genuine glimmer.
"Because I like you."
Well, that's part of the truth. Wait, what?
Had I actually just told Freddie I liked him?
His eyes popped open in surprise, and suddenly it registered in my mind that I had, in fact, just confessed to liking Freddie right to his face.
And with that, I turned around, gave the door a huge kick so that it splintered and flew open, and bolted.
In the back of my mind, I could see the confusion of passing students and hear the faint noise of Freddie's voice calling my name back from his place in the closet. But I didn't care.
I just ran.
Sam told Freddie she likes him! I hope that made all of you at least half as excited as it made me.
Please let me know what you thought in a review or a PM. Feel free to add in any hopes for the future, predictions, criticisms - whatever you'd like, really! I love hearing from all of you, and it keeps me inspired to keep writing this story.
Oh, and Happy Belated Thanksgiving to all of my American readers!
I look forward to hearing from you and hope all of you stick around to read what happens next. :)
