Harry sat in the Gryffindor common room, staring into the first. It was 3AM and everyone was already asleep.
"Harry? What are you still doing up?" A voice said from the stairs. Harry looked to see Hermione walking up to him.
"I could ask you the same question," Harry replied, watching Hermione take a seat on the couch opposite where he was sitting.
"I needed to use the bathroom," Hermione replied, "Then I couldn't get back to sleep so I thought I'd just come down here and get some work done."
"You do too much work, you know that?" Harry said with a small smile.
"I know," Hermione replied, giggling softly. "How are you feeling?"
"I don't really know."
"Why? What's wrong?"
"I just…" Harry stopped to try to get his thoughts straight. "I just don't know what's going on with me anymore."
"Why don't you tell me? Maybe I can help?" Hermione moved to sit with Harry.
"It's this thing with Draco," Harry finally replied. "I'm in love with him, Hermione. I love him so much that it hurts."
"Then, why don't you go back to him, Harry? He seems really sorry, and he really loves you, too."
"That's not the point, Hermione," Harry said softly. "He hurt me once before, what makes me know that he won't hurt me again?"
"He looks sincere about loving you," Hermione offered.
"He looked sincere before. He looked me in the eye and told me he loved me, said he meant it with all his heart and that nothing will change that. Ever. Then he broke my heart. He tore it up and ripped it into a million pieces. And to add salt to the wound, he went out with my best friend." Hermione wasn't exactly sure what she could say that could make Draco look good at that moment so she remained silent. "Now he's going back to telling me he loves me again? He said that once before, it turned out to be a lie. How do I know this isn't a lie too? I don't want to risk getting hurt again."
"Some things are worth that risk, Harry,"
"How do I know this is worth it?" Harry looked at Hermione helplessly, tears shining in his emerald eyes. Hermione's heart wrenched at the sight. His eyes that once shown with life were now dull; it was the eyes of someone who had given up on life.
"You'll never know until you try," Hermione silently cursed herself for not thinking of anything better to say to her hurt friend.
"I don't know if I want to try…"
"Follow your instinct?" Hermione said out loud while thinking 'wow, I really suck at this stuff.'
"My heart says I should trust him, but my head says not to," Harry started. "It's like a never ending battle inside of me. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't ever want to hurt like that again, but being away from Draco is killing me inside."
"Harry," Hermione placed a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say. I'm not good when it comes to these things." She managed a sheepish smile and Harry couldn't help but smile back. "No one deserves to get hurt like you did, and Draco was out of line. You didn't deserve that; no one deserves that. This is a tough dilemma you're going through and I wish I were more help. You should do whatever makes you happy, Harry. I know that you could be risking a lot, but some things are worth that risk."
"Don't be sorry," Harry smiled at her and hugged her. "Sometimes all I need is someone to talk to about these things. And I don't care if you can't really help me in this because actually, no one but me can help me with this. But I'm glad that you care enough to try and help."
"Don't worry about it," Hermione smiled and hugged him back. "I'm sure you'll get through this, Harry. I have faith in you. And if you ever need anyone, Blaise and I are always here for you. I think I'll go back and get some sleep. Good night, Harry."
"Thanks Hermione," Harry watched his friend get up from the couch and move towards the stairs. "You're the best. Good night."
"Don't mention it," Hermione looked back at him and gave him one last smile before disappearing up the stairs.
"Wow, that sucks," Hermione had just finished telling Blaise about her conversation with Harry the night before.
"I know," Hermione replied. "I just wish that I could help them somehow."
"Same here," Blaise agreed, looking thoughtful. "You know, all those two need is a little push."
"What do you mean?" Ron asked. He had been with them, too, but had remained silent the whole time.
"Well, Harry clearly still loves Draco and still wants him back. And there's no doubt in the world that Draco wants Harry to forgive him and take him back."
"Yeah, but how can we help?" Hermione asked. "Harry's too afraid of getting hurt again, and Draco doesn't want to approach him because he doesn't want Harry to hate him anymore that he supposedly already does."
"Someone has to help Harry deal with the hurt," said Blaise.
"Maybe you should do it, Ron?" suggested Hermione.
"Why me?" asked Ron.
"You are his best friend," pointed out Blaise.
"I'll try…" said Ron.
"Hey Harry," Ron greeted, taking a seat next to him. Harry looked up from the lake and turned to smile at Ron. The lake had become his favorite place.
"Hey Ron, what's up?" Harry asked when Ron sat down.
"Nothing really," Ron shrugged. "I just wanted to talk, you know, like old times?"
"Sure, what do you want to talk about?"
"How have you been?" Ron asked, trying to think of a way to get him started on talking about the situation with Draco without actually mentioning it.
"Hermione told you about last night?" Harry asked, seeing right through his best friend.
"Yeah," Ron said sheepishly, not even bothering to lie to Harry.
"You want to talk about it?" Harry asked.
"It's up to you. I'm just here to listen and help where I can." Ron shrugged.
"There's really nothing much to say about this. I just don't know what to do anymore."
"Why don't you try approaching him, Harry?" Ron suggested, "You never used to be afraid of him, why start now?"
"He doesn't want to see me, Ron. He's been avoiding me for weeks now. He's probably gotten over this already and found someone else." Ron could detect the pain in his friend's voice.
"Of course he does, Harry. All you have to do is approach him."
"How do you know?"
"He's been talking to Blaise. He really wants to be with you Harry. He's not over you. He'll never get over you."
"Then why has he been avoiding me, Ron?"
"Well, you haven't exactly wanted him to approach you. Didn't you tell him that you hated him and wanted him to leave you alone?"
"I didn't mean it," Harry said so softly that Ron barely heard him.
"Then why'd you say it?" Ron asked.
"Its just one of those things that slips out; you know, when you're so mad at someone or really hurt and you just can't think and things like 'I hate you' and 'leave me alone' come out?"
"I think I know what you're talking about," said Ron.
"Yeah, well, it was one of those times. It just slipped out. I regret ever saying it."
"Then go tell that to, Draco,"
"I just…can't," Harry said, avoiding Ron's gaze.
"Why not?" Ron asked, trying to understand his friend.
"I just can't. It's confusing. But I can barely think about Draco without my heart wrenching."
"But, if you talk to him, everything will get better, won't it?" Ron asked.
"I don't know, Ron. I really don't. Something is really wrong with me. I don't even know why I do the things I do anymore. I'm so fucked up."
"No you're not. Don't say that." Ron placed a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Yeah, I am. If I weren't so messed up, I'd have figured out this Draco situation before it got this bad."
