Chapter Notes: So for once, I have some good news about this story. I went on a mega writing spree and I'm almost done! I have six chapters left to post (not including this one), I've completed four of them, and with any luck I'll finish the remaining two tomorrow. So if everything goes according to plan, there'll be a chapter a day this week. I hope you all enjoy the homestretch!
The moment I tell Giles the name of the Slayer, his eyes light up in recognition and he immediately gets to his feet to seek out the right diary. "I have heard stories of this Slayer. She was the first to set foot in the Americas."
"And the first to die here," I say. Spike squeezes my hand and everyone sends me looks of sympathy, even Xander. It reminds me of what Willow said the other day; that she thinks I'm insanely strong for experiencing these dreams and being able to face the day even though it may bring about a similar end for me and Spike.
And I get what she was trying to say. It's horrible, watching yourself fall in love only to be killed in the cruellest way possible – right after watching your lover be killed, as well. Sometimes when I look at Spike I see him turning to dust, and all I want to do is hold him tight and make him promise never to leave me – even though it was never his fault the many times before.
Looking at him now makes me want to cry.
"The story is taught to young Watchers as a cautionary tale, so we never lose focus of our duty," Giles continues as he sits back down with the diary in hand. "Ah, here we are. Anne Porter was a Slayer in 1524 and travelled to the New World with her Watcher, his son and her sister. She was also to be married to the Watcher's son."
I bite my lip, recalling Riley's face and just how uncomfortable my past self was around him. Spike growls beside me and it's my turn to squeeze his hand reassuringly. "So what's the story?" I ask.
"The Slayer was tasked with befriending the Native Americans so she could discover what they knew about the demon population," Giles replies. "But the natives were allied with the demons and tricked her into thinking that the demons were peaceful. A vampire even tricked her into marrying him." His eyes glance up at Spike and then at me. "Judging by your expressions, I gather this isn't true?"
I'm having difficulty concealing my anger. "The demons really were peaceful, and so were the natives. There were some dangerous demons, yeah, but the Slayer helped the village kill them. That Watcher and his son were just stupid…prejudiced old farts!"
Spike bursts out laughing while Giles splutters over my choice of language. "Think that Slayer rubbed off on you, pet."
Yeah, I think she did. Anne called them the same thing, I recall. But this isn't anything new; all the past Slayers have been rubbing off on my, especially in terms of my feelings for Spike. The more dreams I have, the more I fall in love with him. "That's what they are," I say. "If I wasn't certain before that these Watchers are up to something, then I'm certain now."
"I agree," says Giles. "They changed a story to suit their purposes. I theorize that they know what has been happening and they are trying to cover it up."
"Time to call X-Files." Xander starts humming the theme tune and gets interrupted by Anya slapping him upside the head.
"So glad I ditched those guys when I did," says Faith. When she notices Willow's wide-eyed look, she adds, "Not the 'aligning myself with the Mayor' part, 'cause that was bad. Just the part where I stopped listening to the Council."
Willow turns to Tara to explain, but before anymore can be said, the front door opens and we all look up to see who it is. Giles is about to make a comment about how his home is a home and people need to knock before they enter, but his words die on his lips and no one can say a thing.
Willow is the first to speak. "Oz."
Oz stands in the doorway, bag in hand, looking like his usual Oz 'nothing fazes me' self.
"Oz…" Tara repeats, looking down. Why does she look disappointed?
"When…when did you get back?" Willow asks hesitantly. Ever since Oz broke up with her last year, I always imagined what their reunion would be like; Willow would jump into his arms happily, Oz would apologize for acting like an ass and leaving…
But there's none of that. Willow just stands there staring, looking almost as disappointed as Tara.
"Pretty much now," says Oz. He looks around and notices the new faces – or rather, the old faces which shouldn't be here. "What's…?"
"Faith and Spike are on our side," I provide helpfully. "Long story."
"I am, too!" Anya pipes up – even though she'd joined us already when Oz was still around.
Xander tries to break the tension in the room – and wow, there's actually tension now – by saying, "Oz, buddy. Hate to sound like grandma, but… You don't call, you don't write…" I think he's just happy to have another guy in the group again, because even though he's stopped being a jerk to Spike, they still have a long way to go before they become best buddies.
If they even make it that far.
"Yeah…sorry," says Oz.
"So are you…here, here? Or are you just passing through?" I ask what everyone else is thinking. I don't want to sound accusing, but if he breaks Willow's heart again…
"The first one." He turns back to Willow. "I'm going to Devon's to see if he's got a place I can crash. But…I was hoping we can talk later. Tonight?"
"I guess so." Willow sounds uncertain. Why isn't she happy? OK, I don't expect her to go jumping back into his arms because he left her – and after he slept with another girl. But now that I think about it, I didn't happily jump into Angel's arms when he came back, so it must be a similar thing.
"I'll come by your place?"
"OK."
"It's great to see you guys again. Really." And with that, he leaves.
There's an uncomfortable silence before Tara leaves, too. Willow actually tries to stop her – why is she stopping her when she didn't stop Oz? – but Tara says it's OK and leaves anyway. The meeting pretty much ends after that and we all go our separate ways.
I walk through the sewers with Spike and explain in full detail what happened between Willow and Oz. He got the gist of it before, but not the whole story.
"S'pose Red's got a choice to make now," he says.
I frown. "Why?"
"It's not hard when your ex comes back and you've moved on with someone else," he elaborates. "You've gotta make the choice; get back together with your ex, even after you waited for them for so long, or stay with the person you're with now."
"Willow's got another boyfriend?"
He stops and stares at me like I'm an idiot. "Are you blind? It's bloody obvious that Red's got a thing goin' with Glinda."
Tara?
Willow's dating a girl?
Pieces fall into place and suddenly everything makes sense.
"Oh."
I think it's the story of my life to feel on top of the world only for it to come crashing down in the worst way possible.
After a night of no nightmares and lots and lots of love making, I left Spike alone at the house with Mom and Dawn – I'm not even sure why we moved back there; the Initiative is gone so it's not like the campus is unsafe – and went to check in on Willow. She confirmed what Spike told me; that she and Tara are an item, and I showed my support. It's the least I can do since she's been the most vocal supporter of me and Spike – behind Dawn, that is.
But of course, according to the rules of the Slayer's life, things have to go wrong just when they're getting good.
Willow hurries up to me, with Tara close behind her, and tells me that Oz has lost control of his wolf. She explained earlier that he'd gone to Tibet and found a way to keep the wolf inside him; it worked for him last night, but something must have gone wrong.
It doesn't take the two witches long to perform a tracking spell, and my heart stops when I see Oz's location: my house.
I run so fast that I leave Willow and Tara behind in the dust.
I expect to see the worst when I arrive, and for a moment, that's what I see. The place is trashed, even more so than after my fight with Faith, and there're stains of blood on the carpet. I hear a growl coming from upstairs and hurry up.
The first person I see is Spike, and he's holding the bathroom door closed. He looks battered and bruised with blood covering his face, but for the most part, he looks OK. He's standing on his feet, and that's usually a good sign.
From the other side of the door I hear growls and snarls, now louder, and I don't have to ask to know that Oz is on the other side.
"Spike…" I begin to walk over to him but he holds his hand up, stopping me.
He points towards Mom's room. "Best you comfort them. They're scared to death."
I nod and hurry into the room. Relief washes over me when I see Mom and Dawn huddled on the bed, and I quickly embrace them. "Are you guys OK?"
"Outside, yeah," says Dawn. "Inside, not so much. I'm so used to seeing Oz all nice and friendly, and seeing him like that…"
Mom strokes her hair soothingly. "It was a shock. Thank heavens Spike was here. He got us up here safely while he fought Oz."
Like the relief moments ago, the gratitude towards Spike washes over me and I have to push down the urge to go to him and kiss him senseless. I can't risk Oz getting out again.
When Willow and Tara arrive ten minutes later and proceed to perform a calming spell to help Oz change back, I let my thoughts wander as I watch Spike comfort Dawn. He placed the lives of my family over his own existence, and while it's something Angel has done, it wasn't for the same reason. While it wasn't obvious, Angel always seemed to treat the safety of my family as an obligation; as something that came with being with me. I sometimes wondered even back then if he was only pretended to like them for my sake.
It's probably true, if Mom and Dawn's dislike for Angel is anything to go by.
But Spike… He genuinely cares about my family, and not out of some kind of obligation; like it's part of the package of me. Heck, he liked them before he liked me.
And seeing him being all big brotherly with my little sister who looks so much like the sister I lost once before… I welcome the familiar feeling of my heart soaring.
When everyone is gone and Mom and Dawn are in bed, Spike finally speaks his mind. "I wanna tell you something. I've…never told anyone this before. It's personal. Not even Dru knows."
"What's it about?"
He sighs. "My mum."
