Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Outsiders.
DUDES, sorry for the delay. I'm having a few rough weeks. I'm not sure when I can update again, sorry
-Kathrine
(Language, alcohol for warning)
Keep Moving
Forgiveness
"I hate marshmallows." Steve commented as I was carrying everything to the backyard. Everyone was sitting around the large fire that Darry and Two-bit constructed with firewood that Two-bit stole earlier. When I asked how the hell he stole it, he just shrugged and told me not to worry about it. Of course I scolded him for doing something so dumb, but I was grateful that we had what we did. I handed Steve the small container with three large brownies in it. He looked at me strangely in question."I know you don't like marshmallows, that's why I made you brownies yesterday." he smiled at me grateful.
"Thanks, Lou. You're mother would always make me something…" he trailed off.
"Well… don't worry about it." I handed everyone a roasting stick with mallows on the end. We all roasted and stuffed our faces with the sweet, warm, gooey goodness. Even though I was with family and friends, especially Natalia, I was uncomfortable. Evie and Sandy showed up for the mallow roast and fireworks, which bothered me…a lot. I don't like either of them, at all. There they were, leaning on Steve and Sodapop…not noticing my vicious glare. Natalia would catch me and elbow me before anyone would notice, which I was thankful for. Whenever I would get the urge to glare, I would grabbed my mother's necklace tightly for a distraction.
Every year we would throw something into the fire that was a big impact in our lives. Whether it was something we didn't want or something we needed to get passed, Dad was the one who started it. I was surprised when I was talking to Natalia about it, she remembered the tradition. We were about to begin when I heard the conversation Evie and Steve were having. He was explaining to her what was about to happen. She scoffed and said quietly to her boyfriend.
"That's dumb." I stood up and glared her down. Steve glared over at me because I was giving his girl the stink eye.
"What the hell did you just say?" I hissed, the only one that noticed that I was so hostile was Steve, Evie, and Natalia. She stood up and put a hand on my shoulder."I said it was dumb." now I glared at Steve.
"Why the fuck is she here? She thinks it's dumb…get her the hell away from me."
"Lucy, she's here because I want her to be. She can have an opinion."
"Sure she can, but when it's insulting my father's tradition, she can piss off." I pointed to her then the other direction. Now everyone was zoning in onto the conversation.I scoffed. "Never mind. Neither of you would understand the significance of it." my breathing picked up, I felt nauseous. This bitch didn't know what she was talking about. She was ruining my good time. Without a word, I went inside before I kicked her face into her scull. When I was in the kitchen, I leaned on the counter. After a moment of heavy breathing, I searched in the fridge for a beer. I retrieved the last one from the bottle shelf and popped the top off. Taking a large swig, I gasped as I leaned against the counter.
She had no right to insult my father like that. I tired to stay calm, fiddling with the beer in my hands. I wanted to throw something. Beat her up. Hug my dad. Look into his eyes. See him the way he was. Tears filled my eyes as I felt someone come in the side door, behind me. Turning, Natalia came up to me.
"Can I beat her up now?" I said in a shaky voice.
"Sorry Lou, but I don't think that would be the best thing to do." she wiped my cheeks with the palms of her hands."Come back outside."
"Yeah." she pulled me as slung my arm around her shoulders, my beer in hand. The group ignored my return as I sat far away from Evie and Steve as possible. Since Evie was in a chair, I sat next to her so that her body was blocking the bitch from my view. Darry gave me a scolding expression as I took a sip of beer, but I ignored him."Lets get this started." Sodapop said with a big smile. He pointed to himself as he stood up. "I'll go first."
From his pocket, he pulled out a pair of underwear. It was girls lace underwear, I almost gagged. Sandy's face was turning crimson as he held them out for everyone to see. As everyone whistled, he tossed them into the fire. With a grinning face he put his arms out. "Nuff said." everyone chuckled as he walked over to Sandy. He gave her a long kiss and everyone cheered and whistled. Natalia clapped and looked over at me, I was still bothered by the incident with Evie. She frowned but looked back at the crowd.
Two-bit stood up next. Fishing into his pocket, he laughed as he did so. I smiled at him, curious about what he was going to toss into the inferno. He held out a pack of cigarettes. "I'm quitting." he said. This time, I did cheer happily I was proud of him. I heard Ponyboy and Johnny groan about him wasting what was in the pack as Two-bit tossed it in. I clapped for him like everyone else did. His eyes glanced over at me though, not returning to his spot. He jumped over the fire and sat on the ground next to me. I patted his shoulder."I'm proud of you Two-y." he smiled, pulling an arm around me. He stole my beer and chugged the rest of it. Natalia stood up with a little bit of effort. She waddled over to the porch and pulled out a bag. Inside there was a long sleeve shirt.
"This shirt was my Dad's. I've accepted in the last nine months of my life, that he is never coming back. I will never forgive him for leaving, but at least I've realized the truth." I cheered loudly for her as she chucked the shirt into the fire. I pattered her knee as she sat down. Smiling, she looked at me and Two-bit. Ponyboy was next. He picked up a rose from the ground beside him. He held a slight frown but it was more of a determined one than sad.
"I never talked about Angie, the girl that I went out with…she dumped me, saying she couldn't date a younger guy." aw! Poor guy! "Well, the day we broke it off…I was going to give her this rose. But I just kept it because we weren't together anymore. She wasn't a real girlfriend, but still…" he trailed off. He threw the half dead rose into the fire, sitting back down next to Johnny.
"That a boy Pone!" Tow-bit yelled as we all clapped. Steve was next, I didn't care. I laid my head onto Natalia's leg absentmindedly.
"This is Pop's hat." he said throwing it in. "I've decided that as soon as I turn eighteen, I'm movin' out for good." everyone cheered, I only clapped lightly. When I looked over at Evie, she looked bored as hell. I wanted to tell her to go the fuck home, but I knew I couldn't. I decided to check on what Sandy was doing. She looked amused, but was more into Sodapop than anything…which was alright…I guess. Johnny was next, so I paid attention to tossed in a picture after looking at it and fingering the edges. When everyone waited for an explanation, he just sat down. Everyone slowly clapped but I cheered loudly for my buddy. "Woo! Go Cakes!" he smiled at me as I stood up, it was my turn.
The stacks of my notebooks rested behind Natalia's chair. Picking them up, I held the up to show everyone. "These are the notebooks that I've been writing in since Mom and Dad died. The other one I had is probably still in the trash can at that chick's apartment I was staying at. I also have these." I pulled out the letters I wrote to my brothers.
"I know I shouldn't of snooped around for them in your rooms, but I didn't want them to exist anymore." I tossed the papers and the notebooks into the fire. Everyone clapped and cheered.
"I wanted to keep those letters." Sodapop said with a frown from across the camp fire. I just shook my head.
"Should of hid them better." Two-bit laughed as I sat down next to him again. This time Darry stood from his chair next to Sodapop.
"I'm not gonna say what I'm getting rid of." his face was serious without emotion. "All I'll say is that there is more than one thing in this bag." he held up an old backpack right before throwing it into the fire.
Everyone cheered for his break through, whatever it might have been. It was conversations all around after that. By this time I had forgotten about Evie's presences, until she was pulling Steve away. They were in the corner of the yard, she was trying to leave with him. He would pull back ever so slightly. I was the first to notice them arguing, but everyone soon followed suit. They didn't know we were watching because they kept at it."Lets go…it's getting boring around here." she whined.
"I don't want to go yet Evie, we haven't even gone to see the fireworks yet."
"But I don't want to watch fireworks, I want to be with you…alone." she said suggestively pulling on his arm. He ripped his arm away."What is your problem? These are my friends, we have traditions that we need to stick to. I'm not leaving until I see me some fireworks." he said motioning to himself.
"You would rather be with this scum than with me?" she hollered. "Well, fine! Go BE with them!"
I felt my breath get stuck in my throat as she threw her hand back to slap him. In a quick motion, she hit him across the face. My blood ran to my face as I angrily jumped up from the ground. Two-bit tried to grab at me, but I shove his hand away. Natalia called for me to sit back down, but I didn't listen. All I could hear was the sound of her hand impacting with his skin, over and over again in my head. My feet dashed towards her, ready to hit her upside the head. No one hurt my friends and get away with it. I don't care who you are! As I charged towards her, I was ready to tackle her. Steve was quick reacting and grabbed me around the hips.
I tried desperately to get to her and show her why no one should mess with my family. Steve had me in a tight grip as I leaped forward. Just as I was about to break through his hold, she swung back and slapped me. It made me slightly dizzy as my cheek throbbed, but I kept trying to get at her. Steve yelled as I felt another pair of arms hold me down.
"Evie, get the hell out of here! We'll talk about this later." the immature bitch stomped her little foot as she left around the side of the house. She disappeared into the darkness, followed by Sandy. She was trotting behind her friend, out of my sight. I screamed after them."Don't you ever fucking hit Steve again! If I hear about it, you're fucking dead!" I cursed loudly as I stopped my struggle. Turning around, I took Steve's face in my hands. I moved it into the light of the porch to get a better look. As I inspected his damage, Sodapop stood next to me. Muttering to myself, I rubbed his cheek."Bitch better….fucking…she doesn't know….I should have just…I hate that little…" Steve swiped my hand away.
"Would you stop being so damn over protective of me!" I was taken aback by his comment.
"I'm just trying to…"
"Well, don't try to!" looked over a the group as he said it in a much quieter voice.
"Umm…" Sodapop said putting a hand on each of our shoulders. "Let's just go to the park to see the fireworks."
Without a word from either me or Steve, we all left for the park after Darry put the fire out. Everyone talked and played around, but I had to much on my mind. Why couldn't he just let me get her back for him? All it would take would have been one swing! They have such a destructive relationship. I just want to keep everyone safe. Speaking of keeping everyone safe, I miss Dallas. Really I don't blame him for leaving, but I still miss him. I feel like a bitch for doing that. Maybe when he gets back, I'll give him….
"Ya okay Luc?" Natalia asked as we entered the park.
"Oh yeah, just got a lot on my mind." she linked arms with me."I've missed you." she told me."I've missed you. It wasn't the same without my best friend. How long are you staying for?"
"Well, I've somewhat talked Mom into staying here. If we can buy a house or an apartment…that would be great!" I gave her a sideways hug.
"That's great." she smiled at me as we heard gathered around the park. The neighborhood was all there to see the yearly fireworks in the park. There was so much some from cigarettes, I thought the dark sky was permanently painted dark gray. I took Natalia's hand.
"Let's get you out of the cigarette smoke." I brought her over to a bench far away from the crowd. Just as she was about to start a nice conversation with me when we heard a familiar voice."Natalia! What the hell! I thought you were out of town still!" Rocky screamed as she ran towards us. Natalia stood up with a little help from myself. The two of them hugged, quickly pulling apart. Rocky put her ringed fingers onto Natalia's belly.
"Oh my God, you are getting so big." she leaned forward to talk to the baby into her stomach. "Hi, it's Aunty Rocky here."
As she stood up straight, I stood up. "Hey Luc…"
"Hey Rock." I said without a smile."Oh come on and make up…people make mistakes." Natalia told us.
"I'm sorry about…everything."
"You should be…" I told her sticking out my hand to took my hand and shook it pulling me into a hug. I didn't hug back. When she pulled apart to look at me, I didn't smile. "We make peace Rock. I care about you but I don't want to be your friend." she frowned.
"Understandable." we three stood very awkwardly.
"Well, I'll give you guys some time to catch up. Natalia, I'll be over here if ya need me." I started to walk away from them, I sat alone on one of the swings. This night was taking forever! Lets get the fireworks started! I thought.
I closed my eyes as I swung myself with my legs, only slightly. My body leaned against the chain to my right. As I listened to the growing crowd, I rested my head onto my hand on the chain. It was relaxing to sit like this, I could almost fall asleep. Just when I started to doze off, I felt someone's hands sneak around my neck from behind. I jumped up from the swing, turning to see the person who did so. Dally was smirking at me with a cigarette in his mouth. A wide smile spread across my face. With an impatient hand, I whacked the swing out of my way. Two small fingers laced around his cigarette. Smiling, I flicked his half smoked cigarette away.
We both wrapped our arms around each other. Our lips connected into a very passionate and gentle kiss. My hands tangled into his hair, pulling him closer. When we pulled apart, I kissed his chin."I've missed you." I told him. "Where did you go?"
He ignored my question. "I'm sorry about leaving right after we…" his voice was cut off by the first firework. Everyone in the park turned towards the sky, including us. My back rested against his body as his arms hugged my shoulders. Both my little hands held onto his arms, rubbing them side to side. We watched the fireworks in awe as everyone else did. I leaned my head back and used my toes to kiss the bottom of his chin. In return, he kissed my forehead."Don't worry about it, Babe. I overreacted. I was just overwhelmed with everything. I'm the one who is sorry."
"It doesn't matter. I still love you."
"I love you too." I said as we both watched the fireworks while enjoying each other's love.
