AN: One long Effing chapter, and I have to say this took me a while to get through.
Also want to share a fun fact, this whole Fan fiction was based of the message in a song. The song is 'Do it like a Dude' By Jessi J, and if you haven't heard of it, youtube it, and hopefully you'll like.
Chapter twenty nine
Breakout
Tara felt fuming while she paced back and forth outside the club house; she knew her staff card was missing. It was only when she saw Tigs and Kozik with Kelly and Juice entering the club house she felt like she was going to erupt. She had to get out of there, but as she paced waiting for Jax to return she felt her presence from behind making her spin with such force she nearly knocked her and Gemma over.
"What the hell were you thinking Gemma?" Tara snapped. She knew that right now she didn't care about what made Gemma happy; she was worried about Kelly. "You just took Kelly out of the hospital!"
Gemma raised her eyebrow, "What are they doing at the hospital that we can't do here?" Her voice stayed cool, Gemma wasn't going to be yelling her point across.
Tara waved her hand, "You don't get it Gemma. She had serious injuries. If you don't remember the hours I was in surgery fixing her heart!" Her voice rose, she couldn't control it. "Her heart was punctured and she was on observation to make sure she doesn't have a cardiac arrest, if that happens here there is no way to help her!"
Gemma stood still, her face was blank as she kept watching Tara having a meltdown. "Well in your professional opinion, what are the chances of her having a heart attack?" Her tone serious, but she knew that she wasn't going to take Kelly back to the hospital.
Tara tried to calm down, "She's not meant to have any vigorous activity. She was on painkillers, blood thinners, I mean Jesus Gemma she just came off the pacemaker four days ago!"
"Well shit, like I didn't know that," Gemma snapped, "But if you haven't notice, she's perfectly fine."
Tara laughed, "Yes, she will be until the medication she's not taking wears off, and she starts getting chest pains and shortness of breath, but you're fully aware of that pain Gemma!" Her finger pointed, she wanted to get Kelly into her car and drive her back to the hospital herself, but knew it was pointless of her being against Gemma. She knew people would always take Gemma's side.
Tig walked outside seeing Gemma and Tara glaring at each other, he stepped in carefully looking from woman to woman, "I hope I'm not interrupting, but Kelly's not looking so good." He pointed out.
Gemma's face went white, and Tara inhaled sharply, "This is why she shouldn't have left the hospital!" She grunted as she rushed back into the club house followed by Tig leaving Gemma on her own outside.
Getting to Juice's room where Kelly was sitting on the bed, her hand holding over her chest, Tara couldn't panic now getting to Kelly's side looking her over, "Can you tell me what you feel right now?" She asked as Kelly was finding it hard to breathe.
Looking up to Tara, Kelly tried to focus. "My chest, it's sore, and not a little sore." Her voice weak, she felt like she was being stabbed. "Tara, what's happening to me?"
Juice was on the bed, his hands holding Kelly up brushing up and down her arms, his eyes pleading to Tara, "I wanted to stop them taking her, but they said it was given the okay." His voice clearly distressed by Kelly's breathing being so shallow and fast.
"Well clearly it wasn't!" Tara took a deep breathe, her full attention back on Kelly, "Just give me one deep breath, okay Kelly one deep breath." Her hand holding onto Kelly's rib cage lightly, she felt around carefully and knew it wasn't her lung collapsing again, looking into her eyes she watched as Kelly took that deep breathe. "Okay, you're doing great, just let me know how painful your chest is?"
"It's sore, like a tight feeling…" Her eyes going down to her lap feeling stupid, "Am I going to die?"
"No, you're not going to die, but when was the last time you took anything for the pain?" Tara turned her attention to Juice. "Was the Doctor's running any tests on her before this happened?"
Juice shook his head, he didn't like feeling like this, but took a deep breathe, "No, I don't think so, she was fine until…" He paused starting to blush.
Tara took a step back, "Was you two?" Her eyes going from Kelly to Juice, "I don't think I have to spell it out."
Juice avoided looking directly at Tara, his hands still holding onto Kelly carefully, "No, we were just talking about, well what happened and…"
"Kelly's you're going to be fine," She watched as Kelly was slowing her breathing down, her eyes were looking nervous. "You're just having a panic attack, it's prone to people who suffer from Post-traumatic stress." Her hand brushed into Kelly's hair. "Also I'd advise you two not to, well not to do anything that can increase your blood pressure."
Tara took a step out of the room walking into Tig, "How could you let this happen?" Her voice worn out, she couldn't believe everything that was happening right now.
Tig watched Tara, but didn't flinch, "I know you're pissed, but you have to look at it this way, do you know how to care for her?"
Tara looked to the door, then turned back to Tig, "I know how to take care of her, but she needs a hospital environment, she needs mediation, there is only so much that we can do here to keep her safe and health at the same time."
"But you can do it?" Tig pushed the question forward, "If I can get all the things you need, you can take care of her here?"
"I don't know," Tara brushed her hair back, "There is mediation she needs pretty soon. I have to keep close eye on her heart. It's only been a week since her surgery. Her heart isn't like yours or mine."
Tig looked confused for a second, "Same as Gemma?" He asked nervous.
"Yes and no," Tara folded her arms, "She was born with pulmonary atresia, and from her records I can see that her operation was a complete success. But with what happened, I don't want to take any risk of anything happening." Her voice kept looking to Tig, "I'll make a list of the things she'll need, but you need to have these in the hour before her mediation starts to wear off, then she will be in serious discomfort."
Tig nodded. "Piney has that connection; I'll make a run up there and see what she's got. Does it have to be anything specific?"
Tara exhaled, "I'll make the list," Her eyes going back to the room feeling that sinking feeling when she knew she was doing something completely wrong, but she walked into the bar picking up a pen and piece of paper.
Tig followed behind looking over her shoulder as she wrote some things down, "So that's all?" He asked.
"Yup, that's it, and if you can maybe get some casting supplies…" Tara paused seeing the look on Tig's face.
He took the note from Tara's hand, and then gave a smirk, "You're not replacing that cast, that was some fine art work of mine." He snickered walking towards the door, "Hey Bobby! Fancy coming along on a medical run?"
"Sure." He got up from the sofa picking up his jacket putting it on; he looked to Gemma who was sitting with Abel and Thomas smiling to herself. "I'll see you when I get back."
Tara sat down where Bobby was sitting picking Abel up, her attention more focused on him, but she placed him on her knee. "It was a stupid thing you did Gemma." She said keeping her tone neutral.
"I just do what I have to do to keep my family safe," Gemma pointed out watching Thomas sleeping in his stroller, her hand lightly rocking it back and forth. "Someday you'll be making the same choices as me." She smiled down to her sleeping grandson feeling better about everything.
Ellie sitting on the bed next to Kelly with Juice's laptop on her lap, they were watching the TV series Glee. It wasn't really a TV show Kelly would really watch, but it seemed to make Ellie happy as she sang along to the musical number. Juice said he needed to do something for the club, so it wasn't a surprise that Kelly was getting tired of being stuck in bed.
"Do you believe that he really loves her?" Ellie randomly asked Kelly who was trying to understand the show.
Kelly shrugged, "Sorry El, I don't really follow many TV shows," She said while playing with the keys of the laptop trying to remember characters from what she was watching.
Ellie turned her face from the screen; she gave Kelly a disappointed look, "Finn and Quinn." She said in a way that Kelly was meant to understand.
"I," Kelly laughed, "Well if you tell me a little more, maybe I'll understand." Kelly gave Ellie's hand a little squeeze. It was the only thing she liked about being stuck at the club house, even if it involved watching TV shows with Ellie that she didn't like, it was nice to see Ellie happy.
Ellie straightened herself up on the bed, "Well Quinn and Finn were together in the first season, but she cheated on him with Puck. She had his baby and told Finn it was his, but they never did it."
"Ellie!" Kelly gasped, "And this show is for you?" She asked looking back to the TV screen feeling confused. "So I'm assuming they split up?"
"Yes, but then Finn was with Rachel, and she also cheated with Puck, but they didn't do it." Her voice confident, "So Finn broke up with Rachel and got back with Quinn, but I think she's just a rebound."
Kelly couldn't believe her ears; she brushed her hand across Ellie's cheek. "Well sometimes boys do silly things when they're lonely." Her eyes looking into Ellie's, it was strange to see Opie's eyes looking back at her, but Ellie was starting to look so much like Donna.
"Is that like my Dad with Lyla?" Ellie asked softly, her eyes pleading for an answer that Kelly didn't really know how to give.
"No…" Kelly shook her head, "Your Dad. Well he misses your Mom very much, but that doesn't mean he married Lyla to take your Mom's place." Her fingers were working into Ellie's hair. "Sometimes it's hard being a grown up."
"I don't want to grow up then," Ellie turned her attention back to the episode; she rested her chin onto the palms of her hands watching the show. "Are you and Juice going to get married?"
Kelly bit her lip trying not to laugh, her hand holding onto her ribs, "No…" Her answer so quick that she could tell Ellie was confused. "We've not been together long enough, plus I think I'm a little too young to be thinking of that."
"But do you love him?" Ellie asked honestly, and for the brief second Kelly sat in silence.
While the episode carried on playing, Kelly thought about it, it wasn't something she really wanted to talk about with an eleven year old. "I really like him."
"So you do love him," Elli nodded, "I can tell cos when he's here, you look all mushy face, plus he likes to kiss you a lot." Her face was bobbing up and down. "I think you two will make really cute babies."
It was like a stab to the stomach as Ellie mentioned babies, Kelly's hands going to her stomach for a second before biting her lip. It was like she had no clue how to respond to that statement. "Maybe, but again that is a little too soon for now." Her hand playfully pushed Ellie's shoulder. "But you are making me watch this TV show, so I think we better pay attention."
Ellie giggled, "Okay…" Her head rested against Kelly's shoulder as they both carried on watching.
This was the moment Kelly hated; she looked to the bedroom door hoping for something to happen. For as long as Tara was telling her to stay in bed, keep relaxed, all she wanted to do was to go out and help the club, but she was given orders to stay in bed, and she didn't like it one bit.
Getting back on his bike Juice looked over to Jax, "You think this is going to work out?" He asked him seriously as he put his helmet on with his riding glasses.
Jax did a double take; he wasn't quite sure what Juice was getting at, so he made a random guess. "Are you talking about you and Kelly?" His tone was sceptical.
"No, I was meaning this thing we're going to do tomorrow." He couldn't think of the right words, "I'm just saying, we're taking on a big fight."
"I don't see any other way, we're not some submissive bitch that's gonna rollover and take it," He revved up his bike thinking about getting home to Tara.
Juice doing the same, he looked over to Jax with a small smile, "You honestly think I was planning on bailing on Kelly?" He asked seriously.
"I'd give you warning, you break her heart again. I'll break both your legs." He then sped off on his bike leaving juice behind him looking confused.
Juice opened the bedroom door quietly seeing that Kelly was fast asleep on the bed, he saw his laptop open glancing over what she was looking at before she fell asleep. He smiled to himself closing the laptop up and moving it off the bed, he did everything silently.
As he removed his jacket placing it on a chair, he grabbed a towel heading for the bathroom. He knew it was wrong to not have Kelly in the hospital, but he liked having her closer to the club house where she was safer.
Letting out a small groan, Kelly woke up to the sound of running water, her eyes adjusting she could see Juice's jacket on the chair, the laptop placed on the desk. She tried not to laugh studying around the room she was going to be staying in until it was over.
Trying to move off the bed Kelly caught her broken wrist awkwardly letting out a small hiss, she wondered how long it would take for her to be able to get used to not being able to use her dominate hand, she could hear the shower stopping as she fell back on the bed closing her eyes tight trying to pretend she was still sleeping.
Walking back into the room Juice had a towel wrapped around his waist, he glanced to Kelly where he left her. Carefully he sat on the bed brushing a hand down her back, "How you can sleep." He whispered softly, he lent down brushing a kiss on her exposed shoulder. "I've never meet a girl like you before." Juice started to study over her face; he could see her nose crinkling up. "Plus you're so much better to look at when you're sleeping, you don't talk back." He said trying to keep himself from laughing.
"Hey!" Kelly turned to face him opening her eyes, "That was mean!" She now moved on the bed sitting up.
Juice laughed, he kissed her forehead, "Well I saw right through your fake sleeping." He stared into her eyes before licking the tip of her nose.
Brushing her hand over her nose Kelly gave Juice a dirty look, "I hope your day was a lot more eventful than mine." She said while looking over Juice in the towel, he had droplets of water falling from his head onto the bedding.
"It's all going down tomorrow morning," Juice said propping his head up with the palm of his hand, his elbow on his pillow. "What did you do today?" He asked running a finger over her cast.
Kelly closed her eyes, "I watched Glee with Ellie," She opened her eyes as Juice started to laugh at her. "Shut up!" She pushed him off the bed.
Juice was rolling back in a fake reaction, which ending with him really falling off the bed with a loud thud, "Ow!" He shouted.
"Well that's what you get for showing off." Kelly peeked over the edge of the bed seeing the towel falling off him, his hand rubbing the back of his head, "Serves you right." Her eyes were going over the tattoo of the Sons logo on his back.
Rolling over he grunted, "You know, you're not very nice for a girlfriend." He pointed out, he tighten the towel sitting back on the bed studying over her, "How you feeling?"
"Bored," She rested her cheek on the palm of her hand, "Tara told me that I am going to have chest pains for a while, then recovery time for my lung and heart, to top all off my wrist won't be healed enough for the cast to come off in six weeks."
Juice lay beside her, he brushed his hand against her hair, "So long story short?" He asked stroking her hair lightly.
"It's going to be a long while until I can do anything fun." Kelly exhaled listening to her phone alarm going off, "And more medication time…" She rolled over taking her pills with the little water she had left on the night stand. "I hate my life right now."
Juice ran a hand down her arm; he felt his fingers touching the rough surface of her cast. "It's only a few weeks Kelly." He whispered feeling like there wasn't anything else he could say to help her feel better.
"It's not that Juan," Kelly whispered, she couldn't look away from him, "It's everything." Rolling to lie on her back Kelly stared up at the ceiling thinking of all the things that hurt the most about what had happened to her. It still felt sick to see that man's face, to know that he took so much from her in a matter of minutes, maybe hours. "Sometimes I feel so empty."
Juice sat up quick; it felt like someone stuck a knife into his chest, he watched her face staring aimlessly at the ceiling. "Kelly…" He felt horrible, there was no words that he could say to possibly make the pain she was feeling go away.
"I'm sorry," Kelly finally looked at him, "It's just everything, and maybe I'm just trying to…" Biting her lip to stop it trembling Kelly pulled the pillow out from under her head and covered her face with it.
Juice watched as she then screamed into the pillow, he took it away seeing her eyes, he knew that Kelly hated to cry, but as she lay there, he knew she was finding it hard to forget what happened. "I'm going to get him," He said more to himself than to her.
"It's not that," Kelly said, her hand moving to take the pillow off him putting it back under her head, "It's just something Ellie said to me."
"What did she say?" Juice asked curiously, he didn't know what Ellie could possible say to Kelly to make her act this way, but now she said it, he needed to know.
She didn't know how to start, sitting up Kelly turned to face Juice feeling sick to her stomach. He was giving her that worried expression that made her feel twice as worse, but she couldn't keep anything from him. "She said we'd make cute babies." She laughed, but then burst into tears holding her face.
It was strange for him to see this, for a few moments he tried to think of why a simple statement could bring Kelly to tears, his hand touching her shoulder, but he didn't want to say anything pulling her head to rest on his chest. "I'm not sure why this is making you feel Empty Kelly." He rubbed her back feeling her holding onto him for dear life.
Kelly laughed pulling away, quickly brushing her hand against her face, "Tara told me I was going to experience mood swings, but I never expected them to be this extreme, and now I'm a fucking pussy crying like this for something neither of us would have wanted, and I feel like a fucking idiot!" Her hand kept brushing away the tears, she covered her face with her hands trying hard to control herself but she felt the shortness of breath coming on, and she knew she was having another panic attack.
His looks of confusion now turned to looks of fear, his hands trying hard to pull her hands away from her face, but as his hand pulled her broken wrist he listened to her scream out in pain. "Kelly what the fuck is going on!" He shouted feeling his frustration burning to the surface, "Kelly talk to me!"
Her hands moved from her face, but he never let them go, Kelly could see his eyes staring into hers trying to pull the answer from her. "I, I can't say it, please…"
"I'm not a mind reader Kelly; just tell me what happened, why…" He paused, he couldn't think straight, but when it hit him, it hit him hard like a blow to the stomach, "Oh Jesus Christ." His voice dropped.
"I shouldn't have said anything," Kelly whispered, "It doesn't matter, it really doesn't…" Her hand moved to hold onto his, she squeezed it feeling his hands letting hers go, he moved them to his sides. "Please say something Juan, say something so I don't feel any more worse than I already do." Her bottom lip was trembling.
He couldn't think, in that moment he'd never really thought of fatherhood, or the things it would have brought with it, but he knew that in that moment it was like someone lit a fire inside him. Her eyes never leaving his face, but the silent tears were still rolling down her cheeks. "Juan, please, just say something to me, please. Please." Her voice was straining to say the words right.
"What the hell is going on in here?" Opie opened the door to see Juice in a towel; Kelly was kneeling in front of him crying. He stepped into the room, his mind trying to work out what was going on from the looks on their faces.
Juice moved off the bed, he couldn't think of anything, his fists tight, he could feel his face tense, "I." His eyes glaring, he spun around punching the wall making a loud thud as his fist hit concrete. "FUCK!" he shouted out.
Opie didn't know what to do, he moved to the room touching Kelly's shoulders, she looked up to him still crying, her whole body was shaking as he quickly held her in his arms, "Kelly, what's wrong?" He looked up to Juice holding his bleeding fist by his side.
Jax was the next to walk into the room, his eyes going from Juice to the wall, down to his fist that was dripping on the floor, "What fuck you do that for?" He pointed, his eyes going to Kelly crying in Opie's arms, "You better not have tried anything with her," He started to make a charge for Juice. "You fucking well shouldn't have tried to…" He grabbed Juice pushing him into a wall.
"Jax stop!" Kelly screamed before Jax's fist hit Juice in the face, "He didn't hurt me, I just told him…" Kelly tried to say it, but the words were stuck in her throat.
Juice felt Jax let him go; his body still felt like it was in fire. How did a pleasant conversation turn to this, but he knew that it must have been something eating away at Kelly for days. "She lost a baby." He finally said looking at Jax.
Opie looked from Kelly to Juice and back, his hand going around Kelly holding her still, "It's gonna be okay." He whispered to her, he rocked her lightly.
Gemma peeking her head into the room, "Should I ask?" She asked looking to Jax and Juice, then to Opie holding a crying Kelly. "Jesus what's going on?" Her voice stressed, she kept looking from one face to another.
Jax exhaled, "Kelly," He looked to his cousin still sobbing in Opie's arms, "What happened to her, what they did made her lose her baby." He pointed out.
"Oh Shit!" Gemma rushed over to Opie, he moved out the way letting Gemma hold Kelly, "Why didn't you tell me?" She looked over Kelly's face, and then turned to see the anger is Juice's eyes. "I think maybe us girls should have some time alone." Her eyes on Juice, "And maybe some pants." She pointed out.
Juice picked up some sweats leaving the room with Jax and Opie; he took one last glance at Kelly before closing the door behind him to watch Jax and Opie staring at him. "We better patch that hand up." Opie said heading towards the bar.
"I'll get Tara," Jax added heading to his room as Juice followed Opie to the bar.
Opie going behind the bar grabbed a bottle of whiskey, he watched as Juice picked it up drinking longingly from the bottle before placing it down. "All my life, I never thought this shit would happen to me." He took a better look at his hand, it didn't feel broken, but the adrenaline still pulsing through him, he didn't feel any pain at all. "What kind of fucking Asshole does that?"
"A sick coward to beat on a woman like that," Opie said feeling sick, he'd known Kelly his whole life, and he felt like this shouldn't be happening to her.
Juice drank more, this time slower, "Part of me was thinking, that night," He let out a dry laugh, "Was she planning on telling me."
Opie turned to see Tara walking in behind Jax, she sat in front of Juice, "You mind?" She asked, and Juice just placed his hand out for her to look at. Tara studied over it, she exhaled. "Jax I'm going need a first aid kick, it's with my things in the room." Her eyes going to Juice, "You're lucky you've not broken it."
"Why should I give a shit, not gonna change what happened." His voice was rough, he didn't know what he was going to do, but all in his mind he wanted to find that man even more.
Tara turned to Opie, "What happened?"
"Kelly told him about losing the baby," He poured himself a drink, "But guessing you being the Doc and all. You already knew." He drank some whiskey from a glass, but filled it again.
Juice's eyes shot up, he shouldn't be mad at her, but he was feeling angry with everything. "Was it mine?"
Tara felt shocked, she turned to Opie giving him a 'Is he serious?' expression, and she couldn't believe he was asking her this. "She was between eight to ten weeks, so it's a fair thing to say it was yours."
Jax returned with the kit, his hand resting on Juice's shoulder, "Tomorrow, when you get this man, I want you to make sure he feels every piece of pain you feel." He looked him dead in the eyes. "Then you get your shit together and make sure Kelly knows you're going to be there for her."
Juice nodded, "Yeah," His eyes back to Tara cleaning his hand up, he watched Gemma walking into the bar looking serious to her. "Kelly needs your attention more than me, I can finish him off."
"Okay, she's probably having another panic attack," Tara got up, she looked back to the boys, "Whatever you do tomorrow." Her head shook, "Just make it right."
Gemma now looked over Juice; she finished wrapping his hand up, her face taking on a deadly stare. "You love her?"
"With everything," Juice replied picking the bottle up, he could feel Gemma wasn't finished placing it back down.
Gemma sighed, "Then when the Doc's finished, I want you to go back to that room, I want you to hold her, and you're going to tell her just that, and you're going to make sure she knows you're going to protect her from now on." Getting up she patted his shoulder going back to bed.
"She doesn't wanna be an old lady," He didn't mean to snap at Gemma, but everything that had happened was pushing him to a place he didn't like to be.
Gemma sighed, "Like it or not, she is already your old lady, she's been it the second you gave her them puppy dog eyes." She tapped his knee; she knew Clay was waiting for her. "Treat her right."
"I'll always will," Juice watched her leave; he picked up the bottle again drinking. He stopped to look at Opie. "Just hope this to be over with already."
Watching the digits of the bedside alarm clock Kelly had calmed down, her head felt heavy, but most of all she felt like she made such a mess when she really should have just let him go on not knowing. Why did she feel the need to tell him? What was she thinking when she told him? All the little pieces adding together to make her feel confused.
Rolling away from the clock, she listened to the bedroom door opening, her eyes kept fixed on the bathroom. "You awake?" Juice asked softly closing the door behind him.
Kelly exhaled, "I don't think I can sleep." She watched as he joined her on the bed.
"I'm not mad at you." He said softly watching her face look up to him, "I don't think I could ever really be mad at you."
Kelly sat up, her hand reaching out to brush against his cheek, "I shouldn't have told you this now, I should really have waited for a better time." Her eyes were scanning over his face. She was trying to find something to showed that he was telling the truth about not being mad.
Juice gave Kelly a small smile, it showed how upset he was, but his fingers embracing her face, he leaned in kissing her forehead. "Kelly, you've no idea how much I love you." His words softly whispered.
Kelly's eyes closed feeling his forehead rest against her own, "I love you." She looked at him, his fingers playing with her hair, "I want you to come back to me tomorrow. I need you to be here with me."
"I'll make sure I do what I have to do," Juice kept his tone soothing, he felt Kelly resting her head against his chest, she held onto him as he brushed his hand down her hair. "I'll make sure this never happened to you again Kelly." He exhaled, looking down watching Kelly falling asleep in his arms. "I love you so much." He kissed the top of her head.
Tomorrow was going to be a long day, but he was going to make sure that he makes the man pay, not only for Kelly, but his lost child.
