HI all, this is Athlete Girl, back with a kooky one-shot in which Rick finds himself in a nightmare of 70's game shows!
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Rick squeezed his glassy eyes shut then opened them slowly, noting that the insides of his eyelids felt like sandpaper. He was seated in the kitchen area of the prison, surrounded by the rest of the survivors. His eyes traveled from left to right as he tiredly ticked them off one by one in his mind. Hershel. Beth. Carol. Daryl. Maggie. Glenn. Merle. Michonne. Where are the others? He shook his head slightly, trying to pierce the feverish fog that had descended on his brain. Everyone else was sleeping or on guard duty. They were safe, for the moment. He had to get hold of himself but exhaustion and illness were sapping his reserves.
Rick jerked when he heard his name. "All right Rick?" Daryl repeated from the next table. "Yeah," mumbled Rick. "Doin' fine." He missed the concerned looks that passed between Carol and Hershel as he placed his palms on the table in an effort to stop the room from moving around. "I'm good,' he slurred. His head dropped down as he fought sleep. I can't afford to rest, he thought. I can't let my guard down. If we sleep we die…..sleeping has a price…paying the price….a price gets payed. His thoughts circled around his head.
Rick unknowingly sagged against the table, saliva dribbling out of the corner of his slack mouth. He heard chairs scraping on the floor and footsteps but the thoughts kept circling …the price is paid…..the price we fight…fight is right…..the price is right…
"HERE IT COMES! IT'S THE PRICE IS RIGHT!"
Rick looked up, confused, to see Bob Barker standing in the middle of the kitchen, spotlight shining down on him, long microphone in his hand. Bob Barker smiled brightly at him and said, "That's right Rick Grimes, you're the next contestant on The Price is Right! Come on down!". Rick heard the roaring applause and felt hands on his shoulders, they must be the hands of his fellow contestants congratulating him. Rick effortlessly made his way down to the stage, feeling almost as if he were being carried. "Hi Bob!," he said, amazed that the bright studio lights blinded him from seeing back at the audience. He turned to see that Tyreese, Michonne, and Carl were competing against him at the front. He raised his hand weakly to the adults, then motioned to Carl. "Carl you can't play this, you're too young". Carl looked at him and turned into Lori, who appeared next to Carl and fixed Rick with an exasperated expression. "We discussed this Rick, and we decided he could play!", she said. Rick was about to reply when Bob Barker asked, "Rick, can we have your bid please?". Rick looked up to apologize and saw the prize on the stage was an industrial sized can of chocolate pudding. Hurriedly he tapped the buzzer and said, "Three! You need to kill three walkers to get to that pudding Bob!". Bob Barker smiled and took the card out of the envelope. His white teeth gleamed against his tan skin and he announced, "The correct number of walkers to kill to get this big can of pudding is…now pay attention….!"
Rick squinted, confused. Bob Barker was no longer standing in front of him, it was Steve Harvey. Steve Harvey looked at the camera comically and quipped, "You gonna pay attention now Rick?". Rick straightened, embarrassed, and nodded. He had to admit he had a little stage fright. Steve Harvey leaned in towards him and said, "Can you introduce your family to us Rick?". Rick laughed, his head falling back, it felt so comfortable it was like a pillow was being placed under it. "Um yes, this is the Grimes family. Here's my lovely wife Lori, her lover and my former best friend Shane Walsh…" Lori giggled next to him and Shane smiled despite the bullet hole that ran through his eyeball and out the back of his head. Shane laughed, "He's got me there Steve!". Rick continued, "and my brave son Carl, and of course Baby Judith." Carl held Judith and she gurgled, a pudgy hand playing with Carl's hair. Steve Harvey guffawed and said, "and of course Judith is yours right Rick?" and Rick laughed back. "Well, none of us really know for sure Steve!" he answered. The Blake family on the other side of the stage hooted uproariously. The father, Philip, wore an eye patch and pointed at Rick. "I bet my other eye she is!" he laughed. Steve Harvey turned back to the audience and said, "and I wonder how the Grimes family started. Rick, why don't you tell us how you met Lori and became newlyweds?" Rick turned to look at Lori, who blushed and said, "Tell him Rick!". Rick took a breath and turned to find himself looking at….
Bob Eubanks? I thought he died before the turn thought Rick. Bob Eubanks stood behind the podium, notecard in his hand. "And your wife's answer Rick?" Rick looked around in panic. Lori was looking at him threateningly. "You BETTER answer this right, Rick!" she stated. "Um," stammered Rick, sweat trickling down his neck. "The question again?" he asked. Bob Eubanks grinned and repeated, "The place you met Lori, Rick." "Oh," sighed Rick. What a relief. "I met her at the library," he stated, and Lori squealed, jumping up and down. She revealed a card that said 'At the library' and the bells dinged as they won $50. Lori pressed cool damp cloths to his head in happiness and he smiled, glad that he had done well. He looked around at the other contestants on The Newlywed Game, and was not too surprised to see Daryl and Carol Dixon on the other side of the stage. He nodded at Daryl and Daryl nodded back, his crossbow slung across his back. Next to Daryl was another couple with the same name of 'The Dixons'. Rick thought he was seeing double until he looked at their faces. Merle Dixon reclined back in his seat, black booted foot propped on the set, beer in his hand. He was shirtless except for a black leather vest and black leather wrist cuffs. Under his arm was snuggled Beth Greene, her hair tied back in a ponytail, wearing scuffed cowboy boots and stained, worn clothes. Merle reached his other hand around Beth's shoulders to casually pull the neck of her shirt partially open and she giggled. Rick was about to growl at him until he noticed….Merle's other hand?!... Rick looked around confused. It was Merle's turn to answer the next question. "Merle, what would Beth say your ex-girlfriend's profession is?" Merle grinned then chuckled. "Well Bob, I ain't really the boyfriend type, but the last woman I took up with was my parole officer." Beth squealed indignantly and hit him with her answer card. "Wrong Merle Dixon!" she complained, hitting him repeatedly. She flipped the card to reveal the word 'Ho' on it. "She was a straight up ho Merle! I can't believe you even touched her!". Merle straightened up and went into damage control mode. "Now little girl, you know I only got eyes for you" he reassured, when suddenly a flurry of activity started next to Rick. Rick saw a defiant Maggie standing in the booth next to his, he placard said 'The Rhee's". "You piece of shit, get your hands off of my sister," shouted Maggie who was brandishing a gun at Merle while Glenn tried to pull her back down to a sitting position. "Let's just finish the game, Maggie," soothed Glenn, winking at Rick.
Rick shook his head from side to side to clear it then refocused on Daryl and Carol. Carol smiled sweetly, raised her hand and said, "I think I know the answer to that one Alex!"…
Alex? Rick refocused on the host and saw that Bob Eubanks had turned into Alex Trebec. Trebec was standing in front of a new Jeopardy board, looking earnestly studious. Rick groaned. "I never was good at Jeopardy," he muttered to himself. He looked at his opponents, finding that Carol was standing next to him and Hershel was standing on the end. Alex Trebec smiled cordially and said, "Carol Dixon is our biggest winner to date, she currently holds the most walker head shots in the prison. She's giving husband Daryl a good run for his money, isn't she Rick? Carol, let's run through the categories and see if we can keep your streak going!" Rick looked between the board and the other contestants but found he was too weak to ring his buzzer. "Excuse me," he said. Alex Trebec stopped talking. "Excuse me, Alex," said Rick, starting to sweat again. "I can't compete against Hershel." Hershel looked at Rick kindly and said, "Let me handle this Rick." Rick almost felt as if Hershel was holding his hand while he reassured him, and Rick relaxed. Hershel turned towards the Jeopardy board and said, "I'll answer Alex. What is Spaghetti Tuesday?" A bell rang to signal that Hershel had answered correctly and the audience applauded. Alex Trebec cleared the board and announced final Jeopardy. "Carol, since you're this weeks winner, I'll let you pick the topic!", he announced. "I'll pick 'Grunt and Blush' for $400, Alex" said Carol confidently and Rick looked around for his pencil. He couldn't find it. I can't come up with the final answer, he thought in a panic. There's no answer!
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Rick's eyes opened and he sharply inhaled a breath of air as his arm shot out to grab Daryl around the collar. He was lying in his bunk and was soaked in sweat, but he had to give Daryl his message. "Listen to me," he hissed, bringing Daryl's head closer to his. Daryl nodded warily and Rick's eyes burned into his. "Grunt and Blush for 400" Rick said urgently. Daryl looked at him incredulously for a moment, then nodded gravely and said, "I got it brother". Rick sighed in relief and fainted, falling like a rag doll onto the cot.
Daryl and Hershel looked at each other then looked away. "Don't nobody need to know about that," said Daryl.
OK, you know the drill, read and review please! And thank you to Little Miss Can't Be Wrong for giving me the idea of Carol winning money on a 'Grunt and Blush' question!
