"It's hard, when your heart carries the burden."

"You have no idea," she replies.

"How long did you know, before you left?"

"I told you."

"You told me, but I don't think that it was the truth."

"Why not?"

February 20th, 2009

He packs up his things, and heads out of the squad room. She joins him, as he waits on the elevator. They step onto the elevator, and the doors close. A moment passes in silence. He breaks the awkward silence filling the space between them.

"Do you want to go out for a drink, with me? My treat."

"No," she answers quickly.

"No? Why not? It's just one drink."

"No. I..." she trails off.

"You what?"

"I am going to have to pass."

"Why? Do you have big plans?"

"No, I just do not want to go out."

"We don't have to go out. You can come by my place, and we'll have a couple of drinks, and watch a movie."

"No. I don't think so."

"To the movie, or the drinks?"

"To both."

"Why not? Have I done something to offend you?"

"No. I am just tired. I do not feel like doing anything tonight."

"You don't even want to go out for one drink? To celebrate?"

"No."

"I said that I'm buying."

"And I said, that I'm not drinking."

"Because?"

"I am going home," she answers, as she exits the elevator.

She looks at him, unsure of what to say. He watches her, trying to gauge her reaction. She shakes her head.

"I didn't know."

"You just didn't want to drink?"

"I didn't know, for sure."

"But you knew?"

"I suspected. I just... it was early, and I was not willing to admit that it was a possibility. I was not ready to accept the reality of the situation."

"And you waited two weeks, to take a test?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want to be."

"Not wanting something, doesn't make it go away."

"It doesn't make the gnawing feeling, that something is wrong go away, either."

"What tipped you off? That early, how did you know?"

February 20th, 2009

She gets out of the shower, and quickly dries her hair. She takes the towel that is wrapped around her body, and tosses it onto the towel rack. She starts to pull on clothes. She buttons her pants, noticing that they feel different. That was ridiculous, there was nothing different about them. She pulls a shirt over her head. She unbuttons the pants, deciding to tuck the shirt in. She rebuttons the pants, and looks at herself in the mirror. She furrows her brow. That did not look flattering. She pulls the shirt up, to look at her abs, in the mirror. There was something off. She touches them. Was it just her imagination? They don't feel as hard as usual. In fact they don't look at defined as usual. She pulls her shirt down. She was being ridiculous. There was nothing different. There was nothing going on with her to cause such a physiologic change.

She looks at her face in the mirror, as she applies a layer of moisturizer. When did she start looking so pale? Why did she look so pale? It was winter. Duh! What was with all the questions? She finishes putting her make up on, and heads into the kitchen.

When she arrives at work, she is the first one there. She opens the newspaper, and begins to read. She flips to the second page. A headline grabs her attention. Homicide Leading Cause Of Death In Pregnant Women.She already knew that. So why had it sparked her interest? It was a well known fact, so why was she even considering reading the article? She usually overlooked such articles. What was different about today? What was going on with her?

Tony walks into the squad room. He smiles at her.

"Morning, Ziva," he greets.

She looks back at him, with a panic stricken look.

"Something wrong?"

"No, I just forgot to have a cup of coffee this morning."

He looks at his watch, "You should hurry, Gibbs will be here soon."

She gets up from her desk, and makes her way to the vending machine. She puts change into the slot, and presses the button. The coffee dispenses. As she smells it her stomach does back flips. She stares at the cup, suddenly no longer thirsty. She feels queasy, all of a sudden. She swallows hard, and the feeling passes.

"So you didn't know?"

"No. I think we already established that."

"But you could have told me."

"Told you what? There was nothing to tell."

"That you thought you were."

"What good would that have done?"

"I could have been there for moral support."

"How? You would have flipped out on me. You would have been angry, and upset. You would not have been supportive."

"You don't know that."

"I do. I know you. You can't honestly tell me that if I had told you then, that you wouldn't have tried to dissuade me from having her. You didn't want a baby."

"You don't know that."

"You wouldn't have asked me, to at least consider, the other option?"

"I... no, I would never ask you that."

"But you would have wanted to."

"No, I wouldn't have."

"Really? Why is that?"

"Because it's you."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I might be a complete idiot, incapable, of properly caring for a child, but you're not. I wouldn't have liked you being pregnant, but not because it was mine. I know how much you love your job, how hard you have worked. I would never expect you to give all, or any of that up, for a baby."

"You think that I should have chosen differently?"

"I think that you should have told me, yes. I think that you should have stayed here, yes. I think that you never should have gone to Somalia, yes. I think you should have chosen not to have her, no. I don't think that."

"You don't?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Neither of us are perfect. Neither of us, are ever going to be. We both made mistakes, and bad choices, but... she wasn't one of them. I know you expect me to be like everyone else in your life, and just walk away, but I am not going to. I love her. I can't explain the instant connection I had to her. I can't explain the uncontrollable urge, to protect her, from every bad thing in the world. I can't explain any of it. I just know that's how I feel."