Chapter 29
Welcome back 001 and don't worry about the wait take as long as you need to I hope things get easier for you. Now on to the questions!
Caesar- You rocked in the last Planet of the Apes movie!
Lee) Do you really want me to think of something worse to do to you? 'Cause I can!
Spider-Man) Who is your greatest enemy?
Thank you! I appreciate your understanding! Things have gotten much better with therapy and talking to other people. And now, I just can't wait for the holidays! You can bet that I'll be updating more often!
Caesar: Why, thank you. I credit everything to Weta Digital for bringing me to life, and to Andy Serkis, who brought me even more to life!
Lee: Please, please don't.
Spider-Man: Guilt. Guilt is my greatest enemy.
Green Goblin: I thought I was your greatest enemy!
Kenny: Jealous, much?
Caesar! My ape! Have a flamethrower! (hands Caesar a flamethrower.)
Caesar: Uh… thank you.
Rick: Sure would come in handy in our own story, huh?
Caesar: Oh, definitely.
*Guest shoves water hoses down Becca and Sarah's throats, and turns on the water until their pants bust open.*
Ben: Uh, guys? We can all see your-
Nick and Luke: VAGINERS!
Sarah: STOP LOOKING AT ME!
*Becca slaps Nick and Luke.*
Becca: PERVERTS!
Luke: OW!
Nick: Slap me again, you bitch! This time, on my ass!
Ben: FUCK YOU, NICK! HOW DARE YOU HIT ON MY WOMAN!
Nick: Your woman is a slut.
Lee: That sounds like something I'd say if I weren't so damn polite.
I now cast a spell that makes everyone lose interest in porn, except Alvin!
Lee: Eh, whatever. I was getting bored of jerking off, anyway.
Nick: NOOOOOOO!
Luke: Fuck! I'm gonna miss watching guys ram their dicks into dogs anuses.
Uhhhh… what the fuck?
Kenny: Well, now I can add that someone is into beastiality on our checklist.
Me: *Lights Lee's on fire.*
Bill: *Turns on the radio and 'Burn Baby, Burn' plays.
Lee: Oh, gee. My pants are on fire. Hmm, how original. Is that all you got?
Lee, don't give them any-
Lee: I've been turned into a woman, a horse, been dangled over a pit of walkers, left to die in space, kidnapped by creatures from another planet, and gone into dreams to kill people. I can handle anything, now. Whatever you bitches throw at me probably won't affect me, anymore.
Wow. Iron Jerkass Woobie, huh?
Lee (In a Tommy Wiseau voice): That's me!
*Lee walks into the room dressed in a red dress, high heels, and a black wig.*
Kenny: What the fu-
Lee: I lost a bet with Darth Vader. That bet means I had to wear this in front of you guys.
*Lilly whistles.*
Carley: Not gonna lie, Lee. You look good.
*Nick and Luke look at one another.*
Together: Awkward.
Sideous: Okay, Clementine. We now move on to Force training.
Clementine: Great. So, what do we do?
Yoda: Hold heavy objects with the Force, you shall!
*Drops a titanium safe, a Tie Fighter, and a bowling ball on top of Clementine.*
Sideous: Dude, I didn't say 'yes' to the Tie Fighter! That could crush her! And, more importantly, that was a gift from my Mother!
Yoda: Oh. Sorry, I am.
*He lifts the TIE Fighter off of Clem, who's now bleeding and crushed.*
Clementine:... Ow.
Sideous: Well, now we have to let her heal!
Clementine: How long will that take?
Sideous: Well, with your injuries, about… 3 months?
Clementine: MOTHERFU-
Lee, terrible news! The cops are on to us! They know about the body!
Lee: Fuck! Okay, wait for me downstairs!
*He runs into his room. When he comes out, he's dressed in his bounty hunter uniform, and has a sawed-off, 12-Gauge, Winchester 1887 shotgun blaster in his hands. The song 'Bad to the Bone' plays from out of nowhere, in the background.*
Lee: If you'll excuse me, I have some shit to take care of. By the way, this is my new outfit.
Kenny: Why, though?
Lee: I was getting sick of the regular-ass blue shirt and pants, and that jacket and jeans. And, on top of it, I was sick of being forced to wear dresses. Now, would any of you dare try to make me wear a dress while looking like this?
*He walks out of the room, as everyone stares at him, and he puts on a pair of sunglasses. Then, he's gone.*
X-23: Daddy, did he just rip off Terminator?
Logan: Yeah, he did. And he made it look cooler.
Alvin: (walks into a room) AHHHHHHH!
(Everyone runs in and sees Goblin in bed with Rebecca)
Nick: Who knew Goblin was into doggystyle?
Spider-Man: Dear God. I'm never gonna get Goblin's butt out of my mind.
Rebecca: GET THE FUCK OUT! ALL OF YOU!
No problemo. Nothing to see here, folks! Keep moving!
*Everyone goes back to what they were doing, while the Goblin and Rebecca continue their lovemaking.*
?: Ahahahaha!
*Demongo from Samurai Jack kicks the door in.*
Demongo: I, Demongo, have come to collect the souls of the greatest warriors!
*Looks at everyone in the room.*
Demongo: Ya'll ain't worth Crap! Peace out!
*He leaves.*
FIVE MINUTES LATER
*Lee comes back in, blood on his body, and the shotgun in his hand.*
Lee: What'd I miss?
Kenny: A demon randomly burst in, and insulted us.
Lee: So, nothing new, huh?
Nope.
Lee: 'Kay.
*He grabs a carrot, and munches on it, all while sitting on the couch.*
Who here has heard of Bendy and the ink machine?
Never heard of it.
Author's Note: Sorry this took so long to write! Hopefully, now that I have winter break coming up, I'll have more time to update the stories I'm working on, meaning this one, Rebellion for the Planet of the Walking Dead, which will mostly be published on a weekly basis, and The Guy In The All-Girl Acapella Group, which I hope you guys check out! Also, I have not yet seen Star Wars: The Last Jedi. So, as a huge Star Wars fan, please don't spoil it for me. Anywho, thank you all for reading, please leave more reviews, and, as always, take care, and I'll see you next time! Until then, I'm the Flying Hawaiian 001, and I love writing for you guys!
P.S, I have a special chapter planned involving Christmas. Keep on the lookout for that!
