I do not own TMNT.

His chest burned; his whole being burned. He tried to scream but the silence swallowed up his voice before it had even been let loose. He wasn't aware of anything but the pain, the horrible pain screaming throughout his veins. Was he writhing? Kicking? Screaming? He didn't even know what he was doing anymore. All there was was pain and darkness. So this is what dying feels like, he thought in a his half-crazed state.

"We're losing him!"

A voice suddenly cut through the blackness, the silence, faint but clear. Raphael knew that voice, he could have sworn he knew it, but his mind was floating around absently, thoughts drifting around and not taking any shape or form. All that he knew to be true was that he was dying. Why was I dying again? he thought to himself, There was something...something about a syringe. And a girl. He immediately felt a stab of hatred. That girl. I hate her.

"Do something!"

Another voice rang out, clearer than the previous. Raphael struggled to remember. Who was it? He knew that voice, he knew it like the back of his hand, but he just-

Could. Not. Think.

"I'm doing the best I can, but he won't freaking hold still!"

Raphael gritted his teeth. The pain was getting worse, it was coursing through his body, and he could feel himself writhing on a bed. A bed? Raph groaned between gasps, his voice rough and scratchy.

"Oh my gosh, he's waking up!"

Mikey. The name flashed through his mind like a lightning bolt. Mikey, his younger brother Michelangelo, that was who that was; Mikey with the orange mask and the freckles and the cheerful personality. Michelangelo who had never given up, who had come after him when nobody else would have, who had done nothing but hope when there seemed to be nothing but death. He didn't understand what these thoughts meant, but he had a name to put to the voice.

Mikey.

Raphael's eyes flew open and he took in a sharp breath of pain. Everything was so bright- his eyes were burning. All he could see was whiteness, whiteness everywhere, and blurry shapes shifting about in the nothingness. Then two blue eyes appeared in the mist.

"Raph? Raph, can you hear me?" Mikey said, "Raph, you need to hold still-" Raphael cut him off with a scream that he couldn't hear himself make but he could feel resonate in his throat. The pain was unbearable and he couldn't remember why he was in so much pain, he couldn't remember anything. He tried to recall memories, make sense of what was happening, but it seemed that even his head wasn't working straight and that it had simply given up even trying to do anything.

"Don't you dare die, you hear me?" Another voice, this one harsher, came to Raph's ears, "You can not die. I won't let you. Donnie's already gotten this far, so you can't die-"

"Donnie," Raphael choked out, trying to remember the name that was so familiar but just out of his reach, "Donnie's...he's...he's my brother."

"Of course he's your brother," Mikey's sing-song voice rang out again.

"He's delusional," another voice said-maybe Donnie's?, "He's not likely to be able to remember much until he's been fully healed."

"Raph, it's me, Mikey? You remember me right?" Mikey said, his voice escalating in panic, "Raph you have to trust me, just hold still and everything will be fine-" Raph bucked even harder as a fresh wave of pain swept over him and he began to scream once again. The white brightness of the room was starting to fade a bit, revealing three masked mutant turtles rushing about the hazy room.

"Hold him down!" the purple one barked as he grabbed various bottles of chemicals off the shelf. The orange-masked one, Mikey, gave Raph an apologetic look before he pinned down his arms to the bed. Raph struggled wildly. Why were they doing this? Why weren't they helping him? The blue one appeared in Raphael's line of vision, rushing over to his legs and holding them down as Raph continued to writhe.

"Donnie, do something!" the blue one growled, his face starting to twist in pain. Raph had enough clarity to realize the blue one was hurt; his shoulder was burned badly and dried blood stuck to his cheek. The blue one- the blue one wasn't Donnie, that was the purple one, the blue one was-

"Leo," Raph gasped out, stopping his struggling for a moment and looking over at his older brother, "You're...Leo?" The statement came out as more of a question. Leo sent him a sad glance.

"Yeah, yeah I'm Leo," he said, not being able to look his younger brother in the eyes. I failed them. All of them. If Mikey hadn't been able to cut the ropes binding his hands together, they would have all died. And I couldn't have stopped it, Leo thought mournfully.

Raphael breathed heavily, exhausted from the exertion of talking. Everything was lost in his confused daze; why were they holding him down? Why did Leo look sad? What was happening? He screamed again as pain overtook him, making everything else unimportant. The purple one rushed over, a syringe in his hand. Raphael panicked. The syringe-no-something horrible will happen-what's going on-what are they doing-the syringe is bad. Very bad.

"No!" Raphael screamed, kicking even harder, "Stay back you devils!" It burned; Lord it burned. And it wouldn't stop. Why didn't it stop?

"Hold him down!" Donnie yelled over Raphael's screams, "HOLD HIM DOWN!" He could feel the other two press his limbs into the bed forcefully, and he thrashed even harder. What were they doing?! Donatello carefully aligned the syringe over Raphael's upper arm. They're trying to kill me, he thought in his crazed mind, They're trying to kill me.

Donnie pressed down on the plunger of the syringe and Raphael immediately felt himself weaken. Why are they doing this? His struggling grew weaker and he began to sink into the mattress, his vision blackening.

"It's just sleeping poison, we still need more of that antidote to cure him. If we don't get it in his bloodstream soon he could die…" Raph heard the words but didn't process them, the sentences just various sounds strung together in his mind. Donnie's voice started to fade off and Raphael went limp, closing his eyes and allowing himself to fall into darkness.

….

Raphael was suddenly aware of a soft pillow under his head and a blanket covering him. His body ached and he felt limp, but something was different. The burning...it was gone. He kept his eyes closed out of fear that it was a dream and if he opened them he would wake up to more pain and confusion. The soft hum of a fan created white noise that Raph was infinitely grateful for. It assured him that he could hear, something that earlier he had found himself incapable of.

Suddenly a loud sigh broke the otherwise quiet room. Raphael tensed, which was about as much as he was physically capable of at the moment. There was a soft patter as someone shuffled across the room, their feet making soft noises against the wooden floor. Then a drawer was opened with a creak and the person began to rummage through it, sifting through piles of paper and causing them to rustle. Raphael forced his breathing to go slowly and he listened carefully. Was it Donnie? Mikey? Leo? Someone else?

The drawer was closed, and the person walked over to the bedside. Raphael kept his eyes shut and his breaths slow. There came the scraping noise of a chair being dragged across the floor, then a soft plunk as someone sat down in it.

"Please don't die," Raphael immediately recognized the voice as Donatello's, "I've tried everything. Something had to have worked, anything."

Raphael cautiously opened one eye, holding his breath. He was in Donatello's room. The light was somewhat dimmed, giving everything soft shadows. Rows of bottles of chemicals lay on the shelves, and a desk cluttered with papers rested in the corner of the room. Donnie sat on an old wooden chair next to the bed, his head in his hands. His hands were covered in; what was that? Blood? Raphael shuddered, wondering if it was Donnie's own or if it was someone elses, maybe even his. Bandages covered one of the purple masked turtles shaking hands. Raphael slowly opened both eyes, looking up at his younger brother.

"You really think I'm gonna die that easy?" Raphael croaked out, his throat unused to talking since he had been silent for however long he had been under. Donnie's head snapped up in surprise, his eyes wide and bright with joy.

"Raph! You're alive!" Donnie shouted, smiling like an idiot to reveal the gap in his teeth. Raphael grunted in pain as Donatello engulfed him in a hug. Donnie quickly drew back, his expression concerned. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked, his eyes flickering over Raph.

"Ah, no," Raph coughed out, his breathing somewhat labored as he managed to sit up and lean against the head of the bed, "What happened?"

"Well, we almost lost you for a bit there...my antidote wasn't enough because we had taken so long to get it to you, so it was only prolonging the poison, not destroying it. But eventually we managed to kill it off…" Donnie trailed off, trying to gather his composure,. "God Raph, I thought you were dead," he finally said, not being able to stop his voice from cracking. Raph smiled somewhat weakly.

"No, you're stuck with me, I'm afraid," Raph said with a laugh, "Can't seem to get rid of me, can you?" Donnie just shook his head, blinking tears out of his eyes. "And the blood?" Raph asked in concern, looking at Donatello's red hands. Donnie sighed.

"Not yours," Donnie said with a trembling lip. Before he could continue a orange-clad turtle flew open the door, his bright blue eyes shining and his mouth split open into a gigantic grin.

"Raph!" Mikey ran into the room and jumped onto the bed, landing on Raph's feet. Raph cringed and grimaced a bit.

"Oops, sorry," Mikey said a bit sheepishly, but then immediately returned to his elated state, "I can't believe it, Donnie actually cured you!" Mikey squealed as he bounced up and down on the bed. Raphael was feeling sick to his stomach as he was jolted up and down.

"Mikey, stop it!" Donatello scolded, "He's still recovering and he needs rest." Mikey gave Donnie an apologetic grin as he climbed off the bed.

"Sorry Raph," Michelangelo said, the grin still very apparent on his face.

"Mhmm, it's fine," Raph said, forcing himself to swallow down a mouthful of puke. Mikey grinned and was practically bouncing up and down as he stood by Raphael's bedside.

"Where's Leo?" Raph asked, cocking his head curiously. Mikey's smile quickly dropped and Donnie's eyes flickered downwards. Raph felt his stomach twist. "Where's Leo?" Raph asked again, his voice firm and his hands starting to tremble as he glanced from Donatello to Michelangelo. They remained silent, Mikey shifting his feet uncomfortably.

"Where's Leo?!" Raphael practically roared out the words, sitting up straight and glaring at his younger brothers. Mikey flinched back at his older brother's angry tone.

"He's not doing too good," Mikey said quietly.

"Where is he?" Raph growled, looking over at Donnie.

"No way Raph," Donnie said firmly, "You aren't allowed to get out of bed, not for another few hours at least. You'll be stumbling around the lair like a drunkard if you even try to stand up."

"Does it look like I care?!" Raph screamed, violently flinging his blanket off of him. Donnie winced, pressing his shell against the chair, "Tell me where Leo is or I swear-" Raph began to string out a series of colorful phrases.

"Raph, no," Donnie said once again, "You're staying in here, and that's final!"

"SCREW YOU!" Raphael screamed, stumbling out of his bed and racing dazedly out the door. Donnie let out a cry of astonishment and followed him, Mikey quickly bouncing to his feet and flying out the room as well. Raph stumbled out the door and into the commons room, everything blurry and shifty and his stomach twisting and turning. He staggered towards Donnie's lab, each movement causing his muscles to scream in protest. He stumbled off to the right, running into the couch and bracing himself against it, but then he had launched himself away from it and continued on his his dizzy state.

"Raph, stop!"

Raph could hear Donnie's voice behind him, sounding somewhat muffled and slurred. He ignored his brother as he grabbed the lip of the large garage-like door and pulled upwards, his arms burning from the effort. But the door quietly, slowly creaked open, and Raphael slipped underneath it, stumbling and falling down onto the concrete. With a great deal of effort, he pushed himself back up onto his feet and looked around the lab through hazy vision. He caught sight of a bit of green across the room, but he couldn't focus on it with his blurry eyesight. Raph staggered over to the corner of the room, ignoring his younger brother's pleas for him to come back. Raph let out an exclamation of horror, looking at the figure lying on the cot that had been folded out in the room.

Leo.

His shoulder was horrible. The skin was blood red and his shoulder was swollen to twice it's size. Pus flecked the blistered skin and red streaks ran across the shoulder, leading towards Leo's chest. A small IV tube penetrated his older brother's arm and his breathing was ragged and uneven. Raphael collapsed onto his knees, bracing himself against the cot and grabbing Leo's hand in his own. He was feeling dizzy, so dizzy, and light-headed.

"Raph! Raph, come'on-" Raph felt someone quickly get down on their knees next to him and grab his shoulders, stopping him from falling. "Raph, stay awake, you hear me?" Raph looked over at Mikey's face, blinking his eyes a few times and not responding. "Raph!" Raphael looked back down at Leo. How could this be the same Leo who had been so strong, so sure of himself, so leaderly? His brother looked pale and weak, as if it would only take a mere nudge to make him fall on his knees. Raph gripped his older brother's cold hand even harder.

"Wake up," Raphael choked out, his head spinning, "Dear Lord, please wake up."