Title: Resistance is Futile
Authors: Zanna & Laren (ZaLa)
Disclaimer & warnings: see prologue
Translator: Sianna
Beta: Kat
A/N: We got ourselves a translator! Many thanks to Sianna! 'glomp' Due to that fact we will be able to update more often now.
Chapter 28 – Suddenly Human
Two of Five opened his eyes. Just like every morning he was awake in an instant. There weren't any floating changes between dream and reality – Two wasn't even sure if he dreamt at all. Probably not – Borg didn't dream and he was a drone. At least he had been until recently. It was quite possible that his dreamless regeneration phase had changed since his separation from the collective. But Two couldn't remember any dreams and therefore it was futile to think about it.
But although Two wasn't tired any more and his regeneration cycle had undoubtedly been completed he didn't try to get up. The reason for his exceptional behaviour was lying next to him in bed. To be more precise, he had wound an arm around Two and his head was resting on Two's shoulder. When Two had woken up for the first time in this bed three days ago he had been lying in a similar sleeping position. Just that he had been laying half on top of the still sleeping Heero.
But when Two had tried to move away from Heero and get out of bed, Heero had woken up immediately. He had yawned, stretched and then, still dozily, he had helped Two to make his hair and get dressed. And although it had been obvious that Heero hadn't completed his regeneration cycle yet, he hadn't gone back to sleep again.
Two thought that this "sleeping" was a really inefficient way to regenerate. In an alcove of the Borg a drone could regenerate considerably faster and way more efficient. Two couldn't understand why humans insisted on restoring their energy by sleeping, but he had accepted it.
And because this sleep was so important for Heero, Two didn't want to do anything to interrupt it. And so during the next days he kept lying still in bed and waited for Heero to wake up by himself – although it meant that he had to lay awake for minutes or even hours.
But Two wouldn't have been Two if he hadn't been able to make good use of this time in the mornings. While Heero was lying beside him and sleeping peacefully, Two was thinking. He had to think about so many things. His life had gone through many changes during the last days. He was not Borg any more. And although Seven had told him that he had not always been a drone, Two could not remember anything else.
Life in the collective had been easy. He hadn't had to make his own decisions. He hadn't had to think about the other drones. He had had a clear task which he had completed with the utmost efficiency. And above all, he hadn't been alone. But now everything was different.
Heero moved, sighed briefly and rubbed his head against Two's shoulder. Then he lay still again. Two gazed down at his sleeping friend. The position in which they woke every morning had been one of the first things he had been thinking about. There hadn't been anything like physical contact inside the collective. Drones didn't touch each other – why should they?
But Two had to admit that this aspect of his new life was positive, by all means. He didn't object to being touched by Heero. And it didn't bother him to lie in this bed either, nestled to Heero. It was unfamiliar but not unpleasant.
Two assumed that it had more to do with Heero himself than with the mere fact of the new physical contact. For touches of the others weren't half as pleasant to him. Two didn't know the reason for this either – but he didn't like being touched by the others – Seven was the only person besides Heero whose touches he tolerated. But Seven had been Borg herself once, she knew how frightening such touches could be and therefore limited them to a minimum. And regarding his reaction to Heero… Maybe it was because Heero didn't expect anything of him.
When he talked with the other three pilots – Quatre, Trowa and Wufei – they always seemed to be watching him. As if they were just waiting for Two to say or do something that would prove that he was this Duo. Two wasn't stupid. He had noticed the many slips of the tongue regarding his name.
Even though he had only found out very little from Seven and the others, he had still been able to deduce that he had been a Gundam pilot as well before his time in the collective – just like the other four. And that his name had been Duo. But Two couldn't remember anything about his former existence, and therefore had dismissed this previous life as irrelevant.
But it made him uncomfortable when Quatre, Trowa and Wufei required that he knew stuff this Duo had apparently known about. They were keeping an eye on him constantly, as if they were expecting him to turn back into Duo any second. And that made their presence unpleasant.
But Heero was totally different. Two knew that Heero was missing this Duo, too – maybe even more than the others. Still, Heero accepted Two just the way he was and had no expectations towards him. Nor did he require Two to know certain things. He explained everything patiently to him, even those things that Two's former self apparently had never needed to concern himself with.
Heero was special. Two had known this from the beginning – how he knew this he couldn't say, but that was irrelevant, too. The only relevant fact was that Two didn't feel lonely in Heero's presence. No one else managed that, only Heero.
The sleeping pilot of Wing stirred once more. He stretched while yawning, then he opened his eyes, lifted his head and looked at Two, who returned the look solemnly.
"Good morning, Two," Heero said smiling sleepily.
"Good morning," Two replied. He had learned already that this early morning greeting belonged to the ritual of waking up. After Heero had watched him with a smile on his face for awhile, he eventually got up and made his way into the bathroom. Two followed him.
In the bathroom he stood next to Heero at one of the two sinks and began to brush his teeth, just like Heero did. That was one of these practices Two had to relearn first – drones don't clean their teeth. Two remembered very well how Heero had showed him patiently how he was supposed to handle a toothbrush properly.
In general, Heero had been compelled to explain a great deal to him where the stuff in the bathroom was concerned – the toilet, the shower and all the other things. And not once had Heero become impatient or had required anything. Two was truly grateful for that.
After Two and Heero were finished with the wash up, Two left the bathroom again and sat down at the edge of the bed. Now the most pleasurable part of their morning ritual would follow. Heero would first brush his hair and then braid it.
And even though Two would have been perfectly able to do this on his own by now, he still didn't bar Heero from it. If he was honest, he had to admit that he liked it; he liked it a lot. It was nice when Heero run his hands trough his hair, separated the long strands and began to braid them afterwards. It was a very nice feeling.
And Heero seemed to like it as well – for he always took his time with it. If he had just restricted himself to brush the hair and braid it afterwards, he would have been finished much faster. But Heero didn't. He seemed to be downright – playing with Two's hair. This long hair was extremely unhandy, but Two was more than willing to put up with this inefficiency in order to please Heero.
In that moment, Heero came out of the bathroom as well, hairbrush in hand. Smoothly, he lowered himself onto the bed behind Two and began to run the brush through the long hair. Two escaped a quiet, contented sigh.
"Are we going to help Seven with the configuration of the shuttle again today, Heero?" Two interrupted the silence after a while.
"I don't know. Seven meant yesterday that she was almost done and wouldn't need our help any more."
Two tilted his head to the side. "And what are we going to do then?"
Heero sighed. "You decide. What would you like to do?"
"Me?" Two turned around completely and looked astonished at Heero. "You want me to decide what we are going to do?"
Heero nodded.
Two blinked at him in bewilderment. He should decide what they should undertake this day? "I can't."
"Why can't you?" Heero looked at him questioningly.
"Borg don't make any own decisions. We carry out orders."
Heero sighed once more. Two could see that the other was disappointed, but instead of snap at him in frustration, Heero just smiled again slightly and said, "But you are no Borg anymore, Two. You have to learn to make your own decisions – even if it is only about such simply matters as a leisure-time activity."
Two looked puzzled. He just didn't understand why he should decide such things. Until now, Seven or Heero had simply told him what to do as well, and he had done it. Why couldn't it simply stay that way?
In the meantime, Heero had finished braiding the hair and released it. Then he got up and walked to the door. There, he turned around and asked Two, "What is it? Are you coming?"
Two roused from his thoughts, stood up and followed Heero out of the room. Together they went down the stairs and entered the dining room. Since it was still very early in the morning, the room was almost empty. Apart from them, only Zechs and Wufei were present, standing as far away from each other at the breakfast buffet as possible and casting suspicious glances at the other.
Two followed Heero to the buffet, got himself a plate and let Heero put all kinds of food on it. Eating was another matter that hadn't been carried out in the collective. All these various new impressions he had gotten during the meals! The different tastes of the food! He had honestly assumed that it was irrelevant which dish he took in – energy supplier was energy supplier after all, wasn't it?
But the mouse au chocolate incident had showed him that there were indeed some differences in quality. Some things – simply tasted better! Two didn't really understand the concept of "tastes better" – for what reason did he feel that some dishes were more pleasant than others? He couldn't comprehend it. But he simply trusted Heero's judgment where his "taste" was concerned – and indeed, all the food he had chosen for him so far had given him a very pleasant feeling.
Eying the various dishes on his plate curiously, Two trotted after Heero towards the table and sat down on a chair directly next to the other. If possible, he always sought out Heero's closeness.
Carefully he began to eat and analyze the taste of the various dishes. Since this action didn't demand his full attention, he observed the other two present persons in addition.
By now, Wufei and Zechs had settled down at the table as well, again as far away from each other as possible, and had begun to eat. Two frowned. Why did those two give each other these glances out of the corner of their eyes all the time? Apparently they both hoped that the other wouldn't notice the glance, because every time Zechs glanced at Wufei, the latter quickly looked away, and the other way round.
Two blinked. Why did they sit so far away from each other? And why didn't they look at each other directly? Was that by any chance another strange human ritual that he didn't know yet? But what was its meaning, then? Those two were friends, just like Heero and Two. But Heero never kept such a great distance from him, if it was avoidable. And Heero didn't avoid Two's glances either. So what was the meaning to the behaviour of the others?
"Don't you want to eat the pancakes, Two?"
Heero's voice interrupted Two's considerations concerning the strange behaviour of the other two. Astonished he turned his head towards Heero and saw that he was looking at him directly. Two only blinked again in astonishment.
"Your pancakes." Heero pointed at Two's plate. Two lowered his eyes. The thoughts about Wufei and Zechs had distracted him so much that he hadn't even noticed that he had paused with the ingestion.
"That tastes good," Heero assured, when Two just continued to glance at his plate silently. Two raised his head again and looked at Heero with a blank expression.
Heero sighed once more, cut off a piece from the syrup-covered pancake and raised the fork directly in front of Two's face. "Open your mouth," Heero encouraged him.
Obediently Two opened his mouth. He knew already what was to follow now. Heero would help him with the ingestion again. He had done that during every meal for the last days. And even though Two was quite able to do it himself, he had also noticed that the food he ingested with Heero's help rated more highly than all the rest of the food. It tasted better.
The door of the dining room opened and with a cheerful "Good morning!" Quatre strolled into the room, closely followed by Trowa, who was quiet as usual. Wufei and Zechs murmured a greeting in return, but Heero ignored the words of the blonde – or he simply didn't notice them. To Two, he appeared to be concentrating on his task very much.
Two didn't reply to the greeting of the blonde either – on the one hand, he was far too occupied with ingesting the food offered by Heero, on the other hand he always felt slightly uncomfortable in Quatre's presence.
Quatre always looked at him like that – out of all the others, he seemed to be lurking the most for Two to show any signs of Duo. And Two had also noticed the mistrusting and sometimes even angry looks that Quatre bestowed on Heero. He knew, of course, that Quatre and Heero were friends, but Two didn't like those looks at all. He would protect Heero – from the Borg, from Relena and, if he had to, even from Quatre.
The thought of the owner of the house made Two check out the room hastily. Fortunately, she was not present – in contrast to all the other occupants Relena wasn't an early riser. Two didn't know why, but Heero seemed to be afraid of Relena. Whenever she entered a room, Heero left said room as fast as humanly possible. And if that wasn't possible, he would try to hide behind Two.
And whenever Relena managed to encircle Heero and force her attention upon him, he screwed up his face, as if he was suffering from unutterable pain. Two couldn't understand how such a simple person could be a danger to Heero, but he would protect his friend from the Princess of Pink nonetheless. Two had picked up this expression from Trowa, and he found it to be extremely fitting.
Two frowned briefly. Maybe it was the colour? Shortly before Two had gone into this house together with the Doctor and Seven of Nine for the first time, Seven had reminded the doctor to readjust Two's ocular. And when Two had finally entered the house, he had been very grateful for it. The large amount of pink he had found was extremely confusing. Possibly it confused Heero, too?
In the meanwhile, Trowa and Quatre had joined them at the table as well, and the breakfast proceeded to be slightly more talkative. Quatre chatted with Zechs, Trowa and Wufei had a quiet discussion about different fighting techniques, only Two and Heero remained silent.
Finally, they concluded the meal and left the dining room gradually. Heero and Two were the first to leave. Two was slightly surprised that Seven hadn't appeared yet. Up to now, the ex-Borg had always joined them for the first meal of the day. Two didn't believe that Seven was still sleeping. Borg, even ex-Borg, needed only very little sleep.
It was more likely that Seven had been working at the Delta Flyer all night long and was still at it. Well, Heero was on his way to the Flyer right now anyway, so Two would be able to verify the correctness of his theory in a minute.
They stepped outside into the garden, and Two looked around and paid attention to his surroundings. Whenever he came out here it was almost impossible for him to conceal his amazement. There was so much so look at! And everything seemed to be changing constantly! It didn't matter how often he came went outside, one minor details were always different than before.
The blades of grass weren't lying in the same direction anymore, because someone had run across the lawn. Or branches of bushes or trees had moved, because the wind had blown through them. And again and again Two discovered plants, which hadn't been there the previous day, and had probably grown overnight. This garden was a constant source of amazement for him – and he didn't grow tired of looking around here.
"Heero!"
Two stopped and glanced around. Quatre and Trowa had just appeared at the terrace and were signalling to them. Heero had stopped as well and was looking at his two comrades. After a couple of quick steps the two had caught up with them.
"Heero," Quatre repeated slightly out of breath, "May we talk to you briefly?"
Heero nodded in agreement and looked at Quatre expectantly.
Quatre cast a quick glance at Two and said, "I meant alone."
Heero frowned. Apparently he seemed unwilling to separate from Two. But then Heero turned towards him and looked at him pleadingly. "Two, would you mind waiting for me? It won't take long. You could look at the garden in the meantime, you always like that so much."
Now Two frowned. He didn't want to be left alone. He didn't want Heero to leave. But then he saw the pleading, almost anxious look of his friend. He knew that if he insisted on it, Heero would stay with him. But he also understood that Heero had to see to his other friends as well, and there was also this thing about the war. Maybe the talk was concerned with this topic.
So finally, Two nodded hesitantly and then watched Heero, Quatre and Trowa slowly moving away from him. Quatre began talking to Heero immediately, and the other shook his head or nodded now and then. Two sighed and then he began wandering around the garden.
"So?" Quatre asked.
Heero looked at him questioningly.
"Has he remembered anything yet?"
Heero shook his head.
"Heero, that can't be possible! The Doc said that Duo would remember the first fragments after a few days! Now three days have passed already and he remembers nothing!"
"I know that!" Heero snapped und sighed again in frustration. "I don't understand it either, but up to now I haven't noticed any indications that Two is remembering anything."
"Then you have to push him more! Have you even asked yet, whether he remembers? Maybe he remembers, but just doesn't tell us anything!" Quatre sounded as frustrated as Heero felt.
"For what reasons would he do that? Two wouldn't lie to me, and if he was able to remember, he would tell me so," Heero said determined, and then added sharply, "And I definitely won't pressure him or force him any other way to remember! That won't help him fore sure, but just confuse him even more! And that's the last thing we need!"
Quatre gave him a sharp look and said, "I still believe that we should care for him together. He is far too fixated on you, Heero. If he interacts more with us others, maybe then he will be able to remember sooner."
"What are you getting at? That I prevent him from remembering? That I don't want Duo back?" Heero had stopped and was close to shouting at Quatre.
"Do you really?" Quatre looked at Heero provokingly. "You call him Two all the time, even when he himself is not there! And apparently you don't have any difficulty in getting along with Two! He's doing anything you tell him to, as well! Duo would never let you boss him around like that! No wonder you prefer Two! What do you even need Duo for?"
Heero drew a breath sharply. How could Quatre possibly say something like that? He didn't want Duo back? Heero would happily give his right arm – and the left one as well – if it made Duo remember! Furiously he clenched his fists and took a threatening step towards Quatre.
In that moment Trowa interfered. He stepped between the two fighting boys.
"Hey, hey," Trowa said and raised his arms calmingly. "Cut it out. We all want Duo back. Quit fighting each other. It's not helping anyone if you're ripping off each others head!"
Quatre and Heero starred at each other for a moment, then Quatre lowered his head in shame. "I… I'm sorry, Heero. I shouldn't have said that. It's just…" Quatre sighed deeply.
Heero knew exactly what Quatre meant. It was just so frustrating that Two hadn't been making any progress at all since this one giant leap on the first day! At least a teeny-weeny memory that would have been enough for him! Anything that would raise his hope! But Two didn't show any indications for that.
Trowa looked from Quatre to Heero and back again. Then he said, "Maybe we should ask the Doctor. Surely he can give us some advice."
Quatre nodded and moved towards the shuttle with quick steps. Trowa followed a bit slower.
Heero searchingly looked around for Two. He didn't want to miss the talk with the Doctor, but he didn't want to leave Two to himself for too long either. Two, however, didn't appear to be bored. He was kneeling in front of a bed of flowers and fixated a couple of butterflies, which where fluttering above the flowers, with a fascinated expression in his eyes.
Heero allowed himself a small smile before he followed his comrades into the Delta Flyer. Inside he followed the voices into the rear of the shuttle.
"… what can I do for you?" he heard the voice of the Doc.
"It's about Duo," Quatre replied. "You said that he would remember some fragments after one or two days already. But he doesn't. He doesn't remember anything. He's still the same person he was three days ago! What are we supposed do to?"
The Doctor knitted his brow. "He can't remember anything? Are you sure?" He cast a questioning glance at Heero, who nodded.
"That's strange," the EMH said and walked a few steps up and down. "I didn't expect him to remember everything immediately, but fragments of his past should have come back to his mind long ago. Even Seven had had first hazy impressions of her time before the collective after a few days – and in her case that had been decades ago. Hmmm."
Silently, Heero and the other two watched how the Doctor walked up and down for a while longer. Finally he stopped and looked at the three boys again.
"It might be possible that Duo doesn't want to remember."
"What?" Heero and Quatre exclaimed together, and even Trowa let a quiet, surprised sound slip. "Why should he not want to remember?" Quatre added.
"Not consciously. What I mean is that he is suppressing his memories unconsciously. Is it possible… Do you know about any traumatic experience that he might not want to remember?" The Doc glanced at them for a second, before he shook his head helplessly. "Actually, that can't be", he corrected himself, "for this experience must have necessarily taken place relatively shortly before his assimilation, in order to cause such a case of unconscious amnesia. And during that time he couldn't have experienced anything traumatic, right? After all, he was with us all the time back then."
Heero flinched slightly and hoped that nobody had noticed; a traumatic experience shortly before Duo's assimilation? Oh yes, he knew exactly what that experience had been, what it must have been. And he also knew who was responsible for it. He suddenly felt ice cold. It was his fault; it was his fault alone. And he couldn't tell anyone. If it had only concerned himself – but maybe Duo wouldn't want all their friends to know… about… this incident. As long as Heero wasn't certain about that, he wouldn't reveal anything to anyone.
"Oh well," the Doc sighed in that moment, "Just give him some more time. And above all, be patient – don't try and force him to do anything."
All three of them nodded, even though Heero barely raised his head. He clenched his jaw. He would do anything for Duo to be well and happy. And for as long as Duo was Two, Heero would do anything to make Two happy. Even if it took years for Two to become Duo again, Heero would stay with him and help him – and endure it to see Duo every day without being able to voice his feelings.
When he walked out of the Shuttle into the garden, he immediately looked over at the flower bed, where he had last seen Two. But Two wasn't there anymore. And a quick glance through the garden showed him that Two hadn't just walked on to the next flower bed. Where could the ex-Borg have gone to? Concerned, Heero started looking for him.
By and by, Two had grown bored of watching the butterflies. They had simply flown away, and he had been unable to follow them. So he started looking for something else to captivate him while he continued waiting for Heero.
And so he had finally re-arrived at the inside of the house, where he was now intensively studying the tapestry. The tapestry's structure repeated itself in irregular intervals and Two tried to discover a pattern within these intervals by counting the bumps of the tapestry. He had just arrived at 284,789,897,047 when he was interrupted.
"Ahem!"
Astonished, Two turned around. Relena Peacecraft stood behind him, with her arms crossed, tapping impatiently with her food on the ground and looking at him disapprovingly.
"What are you doing?" she asked with that squawking voice of hers, which shrilled so much in his auditory canals.
"I'm studying the wall covering," Two replied flatly.
Relena snorted snidely. "What else to expect from someone like that," she murmured and added louder, "Have you seen Heero?"
"Yes," Two replied. It seemed as if the hostess didn't like him for some reason, though he didn't know why. The others probably believed that Two didn't get Relena's piercing remarks at all – or was simply unable to comprehend them. Two couldn't make out the reason for these remarks, but he understood them quite well. And he preferred not reacting to them. Relena Peacecraft was irrelevant, and therefore everything she let out was irrelevant, too. Just like that.
"And where is he?" Relena asked impatiently.
Two simply starred at her.
"I asked you something!" Relena barked at him.
Two just continued to stare at her blankly. He knew exactly where Heero was, but he surely wouldn't tell Relena. After all, he had planned to protect Heero from her.
After a few minutes, in which they had just stared at each other in silence, Relena finally gave up. Furiously grumbling to herself she stomped down the hall and called for Pargan with her shrill voice.
In that moment a knock came from the front door. Two looked down the corridor at the large entrance door. It knocked again. Two glanced in the other direction, expecting Pargan to rush over and open the door – like always. Yet, nothing happened – and since Two could still hear Relena's shrill voice in some distance, screeching something that was directed at Pargan, he also assumed that nothing would happen some time soon.
It knocked once more. Two hesitated. Maybe he should open the door? But no one had told him to do it. Carefully he took one step forward, and then he stopped again. What should he do? Was this one of these opportunities Heero had talked about, which required him to make his own decisions?
It knocked again. Whoever was standing in front of this door, they wouldn't give up so soon. Before Two knew it, he had reached the door with a few quick strides. Baffled, he realized that he had indeed come to a decision – completely consciously! And it hadn't even been all that difficult!
Slowly he pushed the handle down and opened the door. Three men were standing outside, appearing rather hunted. One of them had just raised his hand in order to knock once more, but when he noticed that the door was already open he let his hand drop again.
"Sorry to disturb you," the man said and heaved an exhausted sigh, "but we are searching for…" The man broke off and his eyes widened in surprise when his gaze fell on Two.
"Master Duo!" he called out gladly and took a step towards Two.
