A/N Special thanks to Octoberland for her beta skills.


Chapter 29 Shadows in the Afterglow

Edward's POV

If I were to try and imagine a moment more complete than this one I would fail a thousand times over. Every exhale of breath from my lungs is drawn into hers, and every one of hers is drawn into mine. Tiny aftershocks still make us both tremble, and though I know I should move away from her, I cannot. If the strength of her hold is any indication she feels the same. I draw her closer, pressing a tender kiss against her neck, relishing her little shiver of reaction.

She is so perfectly responsive, so beautifully and utterly captivating it is all I can do not to once again begin the movements that would take us both back into bliss. As much as making love to her a second time appeals to me, the sound of her heartbeat serves as a vivid reminder of how fragile, how human she is. I need to allow her body time to recover.

Softly I caress the still tense muscles of her thighs and hips. Relaxing the tight hold she has around my body and easing her legs back down against the bed. Moving away from her, breaking our intimate connection makes her whimper slightly in pain and I am quick to cuddle her closer, searching through the dim lighting for any sign that I might have hurt her. My faultless vision reveals no new marks or bruising, reassuring me that her discomfort is nothing new. At least not beyond what any innocent feels after her first time. The faint scent of blood perfectly matches the small traces I can see staining the tender skin on her inner thighs. Mingled as it is with the scents of our lovemaking, its potency is nearly intoxicating. Though thankfully it does not inflame my thirst. Instead it only engenders a feeling of warm possessiveness coupled with a deep desire to care for her.

She bites her lip as her eyes follow the direction of my gaze. "Does it bother you?" she whispers. "I should wash..."

Placing a finger across her mouth, I smile gently. "It doesn't bother me, love, shh." Taking the same hand that had silenced her, I place it carefully between her legs, palm resting against her, soothing her with coolness. "Are you hurting?"

Blushing she shakes her head and I laugh lightly. "Liar," I murmur, leaning closer so that I can kiss the tip of her nose. The blush flares hotter, bathing my lips in heat.

"Maybe a little," she says, her eyes darting back and forth over mine, worry etching tiny little lines in her forehead. "But that's normal, Edward. It isn't anything you did. I'm just . . ." She smiles shyly and shrugs. "Human."

Laughing, I kiss away the tiny lines in her brow. "Ah yes. My fragile little human, how could I forget?" I can't resist moving my fingers over her heat, greedy for the little stutter of her heartbeat and the soft moan she makes in the back of her throat. She's still swollen and incredibly sensitive, and I know with very little effort I could make her come again for me. Discovering not only how responsive and sensual she is, but also that she is capable of multiple orgasms is my sweetest discovery ever. Only discovering where her limits might lie will be any sweeter. Regretfully now is not the time so I draw my fingers away. The taste of the venom in my mouth is bitterly strong with her blood scent filling the air. Though I have no compulsion to engage my thirst, it still isn't wise to tempt those needs.

Sliding from the bed I kiss her mouth gently and tell her that I'll be right back. Drawing the sheets over her, I speed out of the room not wanting to be gone from her for more than a second. I pause just long enough to grab my cell phone from the desk and turn it back on, taking it with me. I hear Bella mutter something about freakish vampire speed and it makes me want to laugh. How easy it is to be myself around her now. How much lighter I feel.

Hitting the pre-programmed button that will dial Carlisle's cell phone, I feel a twinge of guilt for doubting myself, and in effect, doubting his faith in me. Knowing that he was close by should something go wrong was a comfort however, that I could not pass up.

"Edward." He answers instantly, his voice calm, his faith in me so complete he cannot even fake concern.

"Carlisle. I just wanted to let you know that everything is fine." Better than fine. Unbelievably better and the grin that breaks out over my face is ridiculous and juvenile and completely unstoppable. "I..." Sighing I shake my head still unable to stop the grin even knowing it shows in every word I speak. "I just wanted to let you know . . . And to say . . . thank you for staying close and for . . . " Words fail me, the oddity of the situation not lost on either of us. Decades of closeness have eradicated embarrassment, as have the countless conversations on the subject that he and I have shared. It can't completely vanquish awkwardness though.

His answering laugh to my stumbling words is warm with fatherly pride and love. "Rose and your Mother have gone hunting. Perhaps I'll join them then, if you feel all right about everything." I can hear the grin that probably matches my own in some ways. He's close enough to the house that even over the phone I can catch the tenor of his thoughts clearly. His curiosity is apparent as well as his pride. He seems to be nearly bursting with both, but he's much too respectful to ask inappropriate questions. "Jasper is watching over Charlie and Julie tonight, and Alice and Emmett are watching the Quileute borders. Everything is quiet, Edward, and we will be hunting very close to home." His tone is gentle, urging me to let my fears relax for this night.

The reminder of everything I've put aside burns back to the forefront of my mind. I pause in the act of rummaging through the hall closet in search of several items, closing my eyes. As though he can read minds as well, Carlisle speaks quietly but firmly.

"Edward listen to me, son. For tonight, allow your family to stand for you. Forget everything else. You and Bella need this right now. Do not allow anything negative to cloud your mind. Focus on her, Edward. Nothing else matters tonight, nothing."

I know he is right and I take strength from him. For tonight none of the other things matter. Only her and I, the love we've made, the connection we've finally forged.

"Thank you, Carlisle." I know he hears all the countless things I am thanking him for.

"You're welcome, son." He chuckles again and I can already hear the wind as he begins to run. "Enjoy your evening." The phone disconnects and I place it on top of the stack of items I've acquired, leaving it turned on. I will focus on us. I won't however, allow myself to completely forget that nothing is resolved. The dangers are still present and I would be a fool not to remember that. Somewhere out there tonight, Jacob Black still lives and breathes. For now.

Bella's POV

I'm just about to get out of bed when Edward returns. He's been gone for less than a minute. Barely enough time for me to even contemplate getting up and washing away the blood I'm sure must be searing his poor throat to bits. He comes back into the room like a blur, placing a cold thorough kiss on my mouth before I can blink. He's grinning like a Cheshire cat and he's so beautiful it hurts. I can't remember the last time I saw him smile this way and that hurts as well, even as it brings an answering smile to my own face.

"Where do you think you're going, Bella?" His eyes are still dark but they sparkle slightly with his teasing mood. He's mesmerizing, and it takes me a long few seconds to gather my scrambled thoughts.

"I was just going to clean up a bit." The blush comes back again, annoying and hot. I haven't missed this little traitorous sign of my moods. I'm almost sorry it's back. That is until he runs the back of his fingers over my cheek so obviously thrilled to see it again.

"I've missed that," he murmurs, eyes turning less teasing with a faint edge of their previous sadness. I can see him making an effort to push it away again. Smiling, he holds out his hand and gently urges me to my feet. Naked and gorgeous he leads me down the hallway and into Carlisle and Esme's bathroom.

A violent flashback hits me hard, making me gasp. I can feel the colour drain out of my face. Even though I scramble to see what is in front of me instead of what is in my mind, I can't stop the tears. Edward curses viciously, wrapping cold fingers around my face, anchoring me back to reality with his touch.

"Baby, no. Damn it, I'm so sorry, Bella. Love, I'm so sorry. I didn't think..." He trails off, his eyes closing. Remembering that this is the only bathtub in the house and that alone is why he'd bring me here soothes my panic. I can see the room. The way it is right now and not the way it was when I was so sick and broken. He's lit candles again. They're everywhere. Soft flickering light around the outside edges of the huge sunken tub. Not the hard bright burning light that had felt like fire on my eyes. The tub is full of water, warm steam rising from a covering of bubbles, not a hard crust of ice cubes shimmering like crystals. We're alone, just him and I, no one else. My skin isn't on fire. It's warm and nothing hurts except my heart.

His eyes open again, darker now and full of remembered pain. While my memories of that moment are hazy with the fever and the fear that had been nearly constant, I realize that his are not. I can't imagine what it must have done to him to find the strength to put me in that tub full of ice and freezing cold water. Knowing that it would be torturous for me, knowing that it would add to the pain I was already in.

"I'm sorry," he whispers again. I lay my fingers over his mouth and shake my head.

"Don't, Edward. It's okay. I'm okay. I just...had a minute. I forgot, I guess." I offer him a small weak, watery smile while he kisses the tips of my fingers. He holds them to his mouth while his eyes shut again so tight I can see the purple that sweeps his lids from lash to brow. "I don't remember it all that well anyway." It's a weak offering but he smiles tensely, eyes flashing open and burning. Yes, he remembers it well enough for both of us.

"You were so sick, Bella. Burning up from the inside out so that when I picked you up I was terrified you'd just burst into flame and vanish right out of my arms." As though he's trying to reassure himself it isn't true, cold solid arms lock around my body dragging me to him so tightly it's almost too hard. Yet oddly, not nearly hard enough. I find myself pushing against him, needing to be closer while he drops his head and buries it against my neck. I can feel the fear he felt that night vibrating beneath the rock solid form of his body. I tremble with him, resisting the urge to tell him it is okay, that it doesn't matter. It matters to him. He's carrying his own scars from everything that has happened.

"Carlisle gave you medication but it wasn't working fast enough. Your temperature just kept sky rocketing. I could hear his thoughts racing through his mind so fast I could barely grasp them. Brain damage...death...God." His arms clasp tighter around me and it hurts, but I don't care. I just push back, wanting him to hold me even tighter. A shudder vibrates him as his hands move to cup my face again, like he needs to see for himself that I'm fine now. "I've never been so scared, Bella. Not ever. Of all the times I'd almost lost you, I'd never felt like I did in that moment. I swear I could almost feel you slipping away from me." His lips are cold and fierce when he kisses me, licking at the seam of my mouth until I open for him and flicking inside, almost desperate. As though only the taste of me will ease him. It seems to work and his hands suddenly grow careful, the hard lines of his body relaxing slightly while my knees nearly buckle. He catches me gently.

"I can't change anything that has happened. I can't erase your memories." He looks at the tub then back at me, swallowing away whatever other words he'd been about to say. "It's warm, love." The small smile that twists his mouth is edged in sadness. "Will you let me create a new memory for you?"

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I nod. With exquisite care he lifts me in his arms, cradling me the same way he did that night before stepping into the tub. We sink down into the warm water slowly. His midnight dark eyes remain on mine the entire time, as though looking away would hurt him. I close mine as the water envelops us, the heat blissfully sliding over my skin which still feels sensitive and tingling in the aftermath of his touches. Exactly mimicking his actions from that dark night he places me on his lap, my legs stretched out into the vast tub. Only now there is only him and I. No Carlisle, no Emmett forcing my legs down against the freezing cold bottom.

With so much tenderness and care it makes my heart hurt he takes a soft cloth and washes away the small traces of blood. I watch him now, forcing away my tainted memories, trying to see if this is hurting him. He looks sad, his eyes dark yet different from his thirst. I'm beginning to understand the darkness comes from his emotions and not his hunger. If the smell of my blood is tempting him, he's masking it unbelievably well. When he moves the cloth higher I suffer the oddest mixture of embarrassment and hot need combined with a little hiss of discomfort as the water fully hits me. The soft aroma of lavender scented Epsom salts are calming, and it instantly begins to soothe my tender areas. A kiss sends my sensitive nerve endings into overdrive. Edward groans as though he can read every complicated nuance of my feelings, which knowing him, he probably can. I've never felt so close to him, so sheltered and protected as I do right now.

Turning us both he settles his back to the tub and mine against his chest. His splayed legs cradle my hips, bent slightly on either side of my body while he tucks my hair up and lays my head back against the hollow beneath his shoulder. Taking my hands, he wraps both our arms around my body, holding me close. Placing a cool kiss against my temple, he begins to talk quietly, wrapping me even more in his velvet voice.

"Do you remember what I said to you that night, Bella?"

Edward's POV

She shakes her head, and I resist the urge to curse myself out loud. Of course she wouldn't remember. She'd been partly delusional in fever, shattering and in agonizing pain in a bath of freezing water being forcefully held down by three vampires. I hold her closer all the while cursing inwardly at my stupidity. No wonder she's been consumed by doubt and fear about us, about me. I should have repeated my words, my promises, every day and every minute since.

Managing a small laugh that sounds forced even to me, I brush my lips over her soft skin. "I think I kept repeating that I was sorry, that I loved you. I was so panicked I can't be sure if I was making any sense." I don't tell her that I was also being bombarded by the fear and pain of everyone else who was present. Emmett's horror at having to hold her down, Alice's helpless trauma at being unable to see if Bella would be okay. Carlisle's fear, a fear I'd never before felt from him though I'd witnessed dozens of life threatening procedures performed by his competent hands. Esme's heart breaking, Rose's suffocating rage and helplessness. All of it topped off by Jasper's futile attempts to calm her while he suffers her emotions of confusion and pain.

"It seemed to help, so I kept saying it. Telling you that you were my life, my angel, my heart." Gently I turn her face up to me and tipping her delicate little chin so that I can brush my lips over hers, look into the eyes that I cannot live without. Reaching out with my free hand I pick up the small box I'd hidden beneath a towel at the side of the tub, holding her gaze while I repeat the words I'd said that night. Words I had meant no less in that moment than I do now.

"I love you, Isabella Marie Swan soon to be Cullen. I will love you until the world fails around us, until the planet grows cold with a dying sun. I will love you long past eternity and I will never, never let you go." Bringing the box to the front of us, still keeping one hand on her face so she can't yet turn, I implore her as much with my eyes as I do my voice.

"You are my forever, Bella just as I am yours." The box is silent as I lift its satin lid on its gold filigreed hinges. She senses the movement and turns her face to look down. She's begun to cry at my words. Even through blurry eyes she can see that this is one of those gifts she has worked so hard to forbid. Her small gasp ends with my name. Not allowing her a chance to argue, I brush my lips to her ear.

"Just this once, Bella, don't deny me." I whisper pleadingly. Her hand hesitates for a moment and then she reaches up to dry her fingers on a lock of hair that had fallen forward at her movements. Hesitantly she traces the necklace glittering in its black, velvet lined encasement. White gold, delicate enough not to overpower her slender neck, the diamonds in the infinity symbol sparkle in the candlelight. The expense is nothing to me but I know she would flinch if she knew what it had cost. Because it has been custom designed and made she will hopefully never know. I'd drawn the design and sent the exact measurements and requirements to a jeweler in Seattle only two weeks ago. He'd put aside everything else to make it for me and it was perfect in every way. I'd meant it for our wedding night, but known the second I'd made my decision for this night that it was meant for now. An object to solidify the promise of us. She had the engagement ring, but that was before. Everything from this point on seemed to rest on this. Would she accept this gift or would she refuse it, still feeling herself unworthy of me, of our love? Still thinking we were somehow unbalanced?

Her fingers tremble, barely ghosting over the necklace. The symbol is common, though I've altered it to make it unique. My design loops in on itself over and over until the eyes cannot decipher where it begins and ends, twisting like coils, each strand impossibly fine. All the complicated threads of our lives weaving together. Only a jeweler of extreme talent could have pulled it off. Three diamonds in the center sparkle with exquisite cut and clarity. Three stones to mark our past, our present, our future. The coiling pattern weaves outwards from the stones like tiny vines bursting from blossoms.

Leaning forward even more she slips onto her knees, resting her bottom on her heels. Anxiety prickles my chest as I half expect her to stand and get out of the tub, walk away and leave me sitting alone. Instead she reaches up, tucking the bulk of her hair tight against the base of her skull. The perfect position to allow me to place the necklace around her neck. It is a testament to my unnatural state of being that my fingers do not tremble when I secure the clasp.

She turns slowly back to me her beautiful eyes awash with unshed tears. Sliding into my arms and wrapping her legs around my hips until our bodies are connected intimately, she cups my face in her warm wet hands. Moves them around until they tangle in my hair while she rests her forehead against mine.

"Forever." Smiling she presses her lips gently against mine, brushing them teasingly back and forth. "I like the sound of that, Edward."

She wrecks me. Completely, utterly. I will never again be whole without her in my arms, just like this. Naked, gorgeous, perfection personified. It doesn't even occur to me to control my reaction. Not until she gasps and rocks her hips against mine. Then I remember how tender she must be.

"Bella." She does it again, stealing the words of warning right out of my mouth. "I don't want to hurt you." My traitorous hands find her hips and pull her forward again. She's a thousand times hotter than the water to me, and her little moan of approval at my action doesn't help my resolve at all. "Love," I groan. "You need time to heal. It might hurt if we..."

"I don't care."

"Bella..."

"Please."

As if she needs to plead. She's barely whispered the word and I'm already rising from the tub, keeping her legs wrapped around my waist. The water sloshes over the edges, extinguishing some of the candles with a hiss. I barely have the presence of mind to wrap a towel over her before I'm flying back to the bedroom, laying her on the bed. Grateful for once for decades of knowledge and images that remind me I know so much more than I've ever experienced. I do not need to be inside of her body to make love to her.

Bella's POV

I'm counting on Edward to know when enough's enough. Because I don't. I don't think there ever will be enough. I'm exhausted, nearly limp, but I don't want him to stop. Not now, not ever. Every move he makes is perfect. His creativity knows no bounds, but creative wasn't enough, not for me. Not now when I know what having all of him is like. He'd been so afraid it would hurt, that I'd be too sensitive after the first time, and he was right. But this isn't the kind of pain I want to avoid. Not this tiny twinge of discomfort that comes right along with a thousand shards of piercing pleasure.

He moves in me and it happens again, that startling burst of pleasure that radiates from the place we're joined and covers my entire body with waves of heat and the most exquisite sensations. I've lost count now. Each wave seems to blend with the last. I know it has to stop soon. I am only human but oh...I wish it wouldn't have to end.

His skin is cold, perfect against the heat of mine. Soothing and igniting all at once. All the lines have blurred. I don't know where he ends and I begin. When I arch my back and take him deeper the feeling intensifies like I'm melting.

Can you die from this? My heart hammers in my chest and I'm practically boneless. Surely he knows when we should stop. He's more in tuned with my heartbeat than I could ever be. I hope it is strong enough. Not because I'm afraid to die, but because I don't want this to end. It needs to keep beating so I can keep feeling this way. So I can keep watching him feel this way.

He hisses my name when I scrape my fingernails down his perfect, marble smooth back. Though I do it hard I doubt that he feels it as anything more than a caress. My nails don't dent his skin at all. Not that it matters. He likes it so I do it again; find some kind of reserve strength to tighten my hold on him and arch closer still.

Will he know when it's enough? Do I want him to know when it's enough?

"Bella." The vibration of his saying my name against my neck in that deep, throaty groan only translates into more heat, more pleasure. I want to say his name as well, but I don't have the strength or the air in my lungs. Then his lips are on mine and his hands are in my hair and he's moving faster, looking down at me, so intense, dark, and it doesn't matter at all . . .

"Once more," he growls, eyes growing blacker and blacker, wicked cold fingers moving between our bodies, taking me impossibly higher. "Once more, love."

"With you," I manage to plead, loving that it makes him groan and shake against me. Makes him falter in his perfect movements for just a fraction of a second before he growls a yes against my lips.

Can you die from this? I think you can. I think maybe I do.

I realize I can't be dead, not when he's whispering my name, telling me that he loves me. Drawing the blankets over us and holding me close. I think I say his name, I think I tell him that I love him but he only chuckles, his sweet breath touching my lips.

"Sleep, Bella. Dream about beautiful things tonight, love. Only good things."

For a while it is only good things. For a while.

Charlie's POV

The night is as black as the ace of spades. From my bedroom window I watch the rain hit the road. The puddles look bottomless, capable of sucking a grown man down into the depths of hell. The pale glow of a single street light makes the forest across the street look like a solid wall of impenetrability. Despite that, I can feel eyes watching the house, coming from that wall. I can't see in but the eyes that watch can sure as hell see out. I don't know who it is. Not that it matters specifically. It's one of the Cullens. Probably one of Edward's brothers. Edward is the only one I can be sure won't be out there. He wouldn't leave Bella's side to guard my ass. Can't say as I blame him.

The drawer of my bureau squeaks a little as I pull it open, forcing me to stop and listen hard. Julie sleeps like a cat. If she hears me, she'll check on me and the last thing I want is that. Not a lot of light comes through the window, but I don't need it. My hand finds what I'm looking for as easy as it ever does. Two items that are like an extension of me. My gun and my badge. I move them from the drawer, laying them carefully side by side, right by the phone. My hand shakes a bit as I pick up the receiver, damp with sweat, reminding me that I'm nothing more than the shell of the man I used to be. The old Charlie would have done this without thinking twice, and his hands sure as hell wouldn't shake. But I'm not the old Charlie. A sharp pain flares down my arm and settles in my chest, threatening to take away my breath. Ignoring it I pull the shade and hit speed dial, just like I have a thousand times in the past. The musical chime of the dialing is just as familiar as the voice that halts the ringing on the other end. Closing my eyes I will away the pain. Not yet. Not yet.

"Billy." A familiar name, familiar greeting. Just like always. Too bad it's a stranger on the other end of familiar.

"Charlie. I'm glad you called."

Are you? I'm not. "Yeah, well . . . Listen, Billy. We need to talk."

"Yeah, I know."

Glad you do. I don't know shit anymore. "9 o'clock. You know where."

Not a lick of hesitancy. "I'll be there."

Wiping the sweat from my palm I pick up my gun check the clip and the safety. My eyes flick to the window again, though I can't see anything with the blind down. Keeping secrets is nearly impossible but I'm pretty sure I'm pulling it off. For now. I know whoever is watching has already circled the house. I'd caught a brief glimpse a little over a half hour ago near the edge of the back yard. Not enough to tell who it was, but more than enough to know it wasn't an animal or a curfew skipping teenager taking a shortcut. Years of surveillance work come in handy. My keepers don't stick to schedules, but they don't like to be out in the open either. Secretive, reclusive. All words that could be their middle names. Smart would be their first.

Keeping my current keeper in the dark is the least of my worries though. Another pain, duller this time, curls my hand tighter on the gun. It looks the same as the one Jacob had pulled from my hand. Identical except for the serial number. Standard police issue in all ways but one. This one isn't traceable. For all intents and purposes it doesn't even really exist. No permit, no paperwork. No background. I'd watched that all burn in a metal garbage bin the day I'd left the hospital and convinced Julie to make a quick stop at the station.

Placing the gun back on the dresser, I pick up my badge. It fits in my hand like a mold. For more than twenty years it has been the representation of who I am. I don't even blink as I drop it in the waste paper basket. It slides to the right and vanishes underneath the soft used bandages I'd torn off a few hours ago. It makes a small indistinct metallic sound as it hits the bottom.

Moving to the bed I sit with my back to the headboard, staring at the window and waiting for the dark edges around the blind to lighten. I have one thing I need to do before I see Billy. Covering all my bases, the mark of a good cop. As soon as morning comes, I'm going to see Bella. Make sure she's made her decision, though it is nothing more than a technicality. I already know she has, but hearing it from her mouth is important somehow.

So yeah. My current keeper is the least of my worries. In a few hours the sun will come up. Then I'll have to face the one thing between her and me and an end to this entire God damn mess.

Edward.

I'm pretty sure he's already onto me. In fact, I'm banking on it.

The porch is dark with shadows. A flare of light. A match that burns hot and fast, followed by a single halo of smoke that illuminates a face. Just a brief glimpse before the shadows swallow it back again.

"It's starting." The figure murmurs, fingering a cell phone in his lap.

The wreaths of smoke climb higher, scenting the air with herbs both pungent and long forgotten. The figure draws the dream world in around him, weaves it until its tapestry is solid and substantial. The dream world cannot show him the future. It can only show the secret paths of the men and women that create it. He is a powerful Shaman. He knows how to read the dream world, just as he knows there is only one way to stop the coming war. He thought he'd stopped it before, but he'd been wrong. The fates are lining their players up in a row. Dozens of possibilities, none of them acceptable paths out of the darkness. He's accepted that he may not be able to save his son. But he cannot accept the outcome of a war, the possible destruction of innocents.

Drawing the smoke inside his lungs the figure ignores all that is around him and summons her. It is all coming full circle now, it started with her, and it will end, one way or the other, with her. She controls the players that fate lines up. Only her. It is a crippling weight he dares to place on her shoulders.

If she cannot save them, no one can.

Bella's POV

I know I'm dreaming. Standing on white sand and watching a beautiful sun blaze over a teal blue ocean that sparkles like diamonds would have been my first tip. Would have, if my skin wasn't sparkling with a radiance ten times more multifaceted than the water. That and the fact that I'm running with the wind in my hair, laughing and not tripping even once.

Arms wrap around me from behind, scooping me up, making my laugh turn to a squeal. I instantly know it's Edward and that I'm like him. Perfect, immortal.

"You're still not faster than me, love."

"Give me time. I'm still practicing." He's gloriously lit up by the sun. More beautiful than ever, so much so that he still takes my breath away even though I don't need to breathe.

He laughs and spins me in a circle again and again and again . . . Some of the sunlight leaches out of the sky with each twirl. When he spins me faster I catch glimpses of someone walking up the beach toward us. Edward is spinning me too fast to tell who it is. Finally he sets me down but I can't find the man now.

"Did you see that man?"

"Bella," Edward laughs. "This is our own private paradise, love. No one is here but you and me."

He moves away, and I watch him go. My skin stops sparkling as the sun vanishes behind heavy dark clouds. It looks pale and human, like always. He pauses at the water's edge and holds his hand out to me.

"Come for a swim with me." His smile is stunning with how happy he seems. As though he hasn't got a care in the world. Uneasy, my glance moves back down the beach and I see the man again, walking slowly toward us.

"Edward, don't you see . . ." I turn back to him but the beach is empty now. The water calm and flat and completely barren, Edward vanished just like the sun. I spin around again and the man is closer. Only a few feet away, his back to me as he stares out across the water with his hands in his pockets. The familiar tilt of his shoulders sends a shock through me.

"Billy?"

He doesn't look at me or answer, but I know I'm right. "I don't want you to be here. This is supposed to be a happy dream." Tears burn the backs of my eyelids and his shoulders slump.

"I know. I'm sorry for that. You haven't had many happy dreams of late." Finally he looks at me. Like always dream Billy doesn't need a wheelchair. His face is younger, stronger. He's more real than anything else here.

"Why are you here?" He's been here before. I've been here before. Not on this beach, just here. Wherever here is. I forget when I'm awake. But I'm not awake now.

"I just wanted you to know how sorry I am."

The water laps at my ankles and in the distance I swear I hear the sounds of wolves howling. My skin crawls.

"Don't be afraid. Nothing of mine will ever hurt you again, Bella." Billy's eyes are changing color. Blue, to brown, to green, to a teal as bright as the ocean water. Constant, never settling for more than a second on any one. The effect is strangely calming. Turning his face away from me he looks back out over the water. Feeling suddenly cold, I shiver, wishing the sun was back. And suddenly it is, basking me in warmth. The wolves are quiet, the beach pristine and beautiful once again. Billy is smiling gently when I look back at him, but his eyes are very watchful.

"Charlie's coming to visit me today. I think he's going to come and see you first."

It seems like he's asking me a question, but I don't know the answer. He smiles again.

"Sometimes there are no right answers, Bella" he says. His eyes are mauve now, blazing in contrast with the sunlight. "Sometimes what seems right at the time is just wrong. But you can't go back. So you go forward."

"I'm trying to go forward, Billy."

"Yes. You're trying. But others aren't. Others are looking backwards. They think if they go back they can right the wrongs. Problem is they can't go back. And you can't go forward when anger holds you in the same place."

"Is this a riddle?"

He shrugs his shoulders gently. "Life is a riddle."

Tiny little guppies dance in the water, tickling my toes. "I can't help what others do." I say sadly. If wistful had a flavour it would taste like the salty ocean. Like the tears I can suddenly feel on my cheeks.

"No, little dreamer. You can't. But you can lead the way. Show them the path. Be strong so they will follow." His voice is so gentle. I remember a time when I was a little girl and I used to be lulled to sleep by the sound of him and Charlie, talking in the living room while they watched a game.

"I'm not strong. Not anymore, not like before. . ." The ghost of who I used to be haunts me.

"No. You aren't strong like you were before. You're stronger."

Mauve turns blue, then fall leaf gold and then orange, like autumn leaves crinkling underfoot in the fall. "You're asking too much." I whisper, feeling the sun fall into my mouth and scorch my throat. Is this a vampire's thirst? Is it blood I want? How much blood will be enough to quench a thirst like this? One born not from immortality, but out of darkness and hate and anger. And who will get me the blood I need? Edward? Charlie? One of the Cullens? How many hands will I let be stained red to slake my thirst?

"I know." Simply stated but full of sadness and regret. I watch him use a stick to trace patterns in the sand. A white stick, beach wood, bleached by sun, sand, wind and water. Flashes of a circle of fire flicker behind my eyelids when I close them, unable to bear the ever changing colors of a Shaman's eyes.

I remember Old Quil. A staff that pounds against the soft, wet earth but still manages to vibrate the ground like a heartbeat. One exactly like Billy's. Fire and smoke and pain and.. hope.

So many promises to break.

"Infinity is a very long time," Billy says quietly. I open my eyes and watch him trace that exact symbol into the sand. Deeper and deeper with each pass so that the sand turns wet and dark. A never ending figure eight.

More flickers. Dream memories this time. Three fires. Blazing in the night air, sparking in an open clearing that is full of wind. Fires blazing while I'd burned with fever. Three fires to save three souls. Just like the three perfect fiery diamonds cutting into the tips of my fingers where they clasp my necklace tightly. As though I'm afraid it will disappear.

Infinity is a very long time. Who will I be at the end of infinity? If I'm full of this burning hateful thirst, who will I be?

Beside the first symbol Billy traces a circle. "One," he murmurs, "separate and alone. Then he leans down, tracing it with his finger now and the circle ignites. A small fire leaping from cool wet sand. He hovers his hand over the infinity symbol. "In one, you stood alone. Separate from one another." His finger follows the deep grooves, still hovering. "Now you are linked, soon to be bound by nothing, not even mortal binds. Never again separate." His eyes are black when he looks at me. "He walked through fire for you, Bella. What is joined can never be undone." The symbol ignites, burning higher, harder and faster. Standing straight again he looks over his shoulder, a small resolved smile playing around the corners of his mouth. "Not even the dream world can separate you, and he doesn't sleep."

I follow his gaze and see Edward walking toward us. His face is a mask. His stride long and powerful. He's still far away but eating the distance quickly.

Billy waves his hands over the fires and the infinity symbol stops burning. The sand is completely unblemished. Burning still, the circle seems to glow hotter. Waving his hand again the circle stops burning as well. The sand is charred, streaked in black, melted and disfigured. He points to the perfect unmarked infinity symbol.

"Together you are stronger. Unbreakable."

"Why are you showing me this, Billy? What does it matter?" There is fear in my voice as Edward gets closer. He looks angry now. My fear is for Billy, though he seems unconcerned.

Another wave of his hand and the infinity symbol starts to burn again. Only this time the flames are blue, angry and leaping. Writhing over the sand until I can't see the shape anymore.

"Even unbreakable can burn if you let it. It can burn so hot and hard it weakens everything. Burns until it ignites everything around it. Everything."

The flames are beautiful and fearfully enticing. If they burn hot enough maybe I will finally feel clean, whole. "I don't care," I whisper.

"You have to care, Bella. If you let it burn it will destroy everything you love."

Billy and the beach suddenly begin to fade. I can hear Edward's voice, calling my name.

"You have to stop the fire, Bella."

"Why?" I can only whisper the question, shocked by how much I want to let the flames burn, even knowing, believing that he is right. That they will burn until there is nothing left. I could reach out right now and embrace the flames and I know they would feel good against my skin. That I could add the perfect fuel to make them burn even brighter. That I could let it devour me and not care. Not care at all.

"Because it's starting, Bella." His voice is still so calm but oh, the sadness is so raw, so all encompassing.

"What? What is starting?" I scream it, hating that he's trying to take the fire away from me. Hating him, hating him and his ... son.

He answers quietly. So much sadness."The beginning."

I hate this. I hate this. I want it to burn. God help me, but I do. I start screaming and don't ever want to stop.

Edward's POV

"Bella! Wake up. It's okay. Shh! Wake up, it's okay, love. Just open your eyes, Bella. Open your eyes for me, it's only a dream."