Awesome Song of the Day: Headstrong by Trapt
Circling your, circling your, circling your head,
Contemplating everything you ever said
Now I see the truth, I got doubt
A different motive in your eyes and now I'm out
See you later
I see your fantasy, you want to make it a reality paved in gold
See inside, inside of our heads
Well now that's over
I see your motives inside, decisions to hide
Back off I'll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong
Headstrong we're headstrong
Back off I'll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong and this is not where you belong
I can't give everything away
I won't give everything away
Jonathan held a carton of juice in front of my face. "Rei, do you want some orange juice? Or would you prefer milk?"
Coming back to reality, I responded automatically without really thinking about anything in particular. "Juice is fine."
Smiling, Jonathan poured the bright-colored juice into a glass and set it in front of me. I watched the liquid shifting around in the glass and then glanced up at Charlotte as she set a bowl of frosted mini wheats in front of me. She informed me the other night that she had bought it specifically just for me.
I mechanically picked up a spoon from the table and pushed it into the wet cereal. Everything was feeling very off this morning.
I wonder why.
With a sigh I shoved a spoonful of mini wheats into my mouth. Not even their usual amazingness was enough to snap me back to normal. My body felt numb and my mind was just the opposite, whirring and moving constantly in overdrive. The reason for this was the unexpected arrival of Slenderman and the events that followed shortly after.
Seeing it replay in my head made a nervous sensation crawl up to my stomach, causing nausea to take hold of me, and I put my spoon back in my soggy cereal. Of course Jonathan and Charlotte noticed this from their places at the table and gave me moderately concerned looks.
"Is everything alright? You look pale," Charlotte asked after a sip of her coffee.
I looked up at her disheveled hair and slightly purple dark circles, wondering if I appeared the same, if not worse. I couldn't find the will to face the mirror today. Hell, I didn't even want to crawl out of bed after waking up. I just laid there wishing that the blankets would swallow me into some dark void.
Then I remembered that I needed to answer her question. "I'm just a little nervous." Need to distract them. Think. "What are we doing today?"
Charlotte exchanged a glance with Jonathan, smiling. "We are going on a hike to start out with. It's a couple hours away, but it will be very much worth the drive. I think you'll like it. There's a series of trails and one of them leads to a cliff that overlooks the entire area."
Hikes are nice. Unless they go into a forest area where it's more likely for Slenderman to appear and make me have a complete panic attack. That wouldn't be very nice at all. But, I can't exactly tell them any of that. I'll just have to hope that the trails are in an open area.
Jonathan and Charlotte left the kitchen to go get ready, requesting that I finish my breakfast and do the same. When I was alone I stared down at my soggy mini wheats and poked them with my spoon. Yes, I wanted to eat, but my nausea wouldn't allow it.
Damn my nerves.
It wasn't my fault that I felt like this. If Slenderman hadn't decided to randomly come here and mind-fuck me with his...his...
Ugh. I can't think about this without having my pulse start racing all over again, like it had been the entire time I'd been near him. I thought my heart was going to explode when he evolved from simply hovering to actually touching me and then his face got so close to mine-
Shut up. Just...go die.
Yes, it's very normal to have internal arguments with yourself. Those who disagree can walk into my fist. My level of giving a shit has significantly dropped to a level of far below zero, and I don't think it will be coming back up anytime soon.
With an unpleasant shudder I ate what I could of my cereal and was forced to dump the rest of it down the sink. It was a little sad to watch my mini wheats go down the drain. Just like my sanity.
Since I don't really have any hiking clothes, I wore my regular clothes instead. My boots had never hurt my feet before. I wasn't worried about it at all. I'd done plenty of walking before in less than comfortable attire.
I found the paper with the operator symbol on it within the blankets on the bed. After looking at it for a while, I decided to leave it on the desk. I wasn't looking forward to any awkward meetings with him anytime soon.
Thankfully neither Jonathan nor Charlotte wanted me to change. They just gave me a nod when I presented myself as being ready and we packed our backpacks with a few snacks and water bottles. Their cat Marley had tried to crawl into Jonathan's bag twice, and we had to remove her from it despite her meows of protest.
Eventually we packed what we needed into the car and set off for our destination. Jonathan drove, while me and Charlotte had conversations about a lot of different topics. It was very easy to talk to her and let myself be distracted from other things that liked to present themselves in my mind and make me stiffen up uncomfortably.
I wasn't feeling bad about what happened. I just wasn't fond of the physical effects of the memory that follow it. There was also the fact that half of me still couldn't believe that it actually happened...and that I let it happen.
Well, I mean, I didn't exactly have any control over what Slenderman did, but I guess that I could have put up more of a fight if I had been fully prepared. What could I have done? He would always be able to overpower me with no effort whatsoever.
Also...why had he done what he did? I almost thought that it had been a dream when I woke up. However I knew that it did actually happen because of the aftereffects, and because of how it hadn't felt anything like a dream. It had felt so intensely real that any doubts in its validity were immediately thrown away.
This was something that was giving me a headache every time I tried to find the answer to my question. It pissed me off how I was completely unable to find any logical reason for why it occurred. That, and how I hadn't done a thing to fight it.
It could have been because of how tired I was. Even so, I can recall several times when I'd been absolutely exhausted to the point of passing out, and I had still done everything that I could to defend myself. Of course this was a different circumstance, but that didn't really matter in my opinion.
What was I going to do if he decided to follow me and randomly appear right in front of me? I hadn't even thought about that.
If I'm lucky, he'll be so filled with disgust and regret that he won't even show his face to me for the rest of my life. Then I'll know that the whole thing wasn't supposed to happen. I can be sure that the stupid feelings I had inside me were not meant to be there.
Since I'm hoping for this to happen, it probably won't. The universe loves to prove me wrong as much as it can.
Trees. Obviously there would be trees here, because I had wished for there not to be any forest around the trails. Screw you too, universe.
Okay, it's not that big of a deal, he probably won't even show up. I don't have the paper with me. Everything will be just fine. We'll just go hiking and have a normal day.
Normal...ha.
"So, Rei, what's your man doing while you're away? I'm sure he misses you already," Jonathan said with a wiggle of his eyebrows. He walked beside Charlotte, who I walked on the other side of.
I had to swallow some sarcastic laughter before replying. "I'm not sure. With him, there's no telling what he could be doing. He's hard to predict."
Charlotte elbowed Jonathan and interrupted his moving eyebrows. "Don't bother her about things like that. It's her business. Besides, she's only on a vacation for a few days. She'll be back home in no time. And stop saying 'your man' like that. You weirdo."
At this I had to laugh a little. Jonathan had the right amount of quirkiness, while Charlotte had the mellowness and fearless attitude to balance him out. They were two opposites who mixed together in a way that could only be described as perfect.
The trails were pleasantly quiet and probably very therapeutic to the average person. To me, they were definitely quiet, but the trees around us presented a number of hiding places for a certain tall being who could lurk behind any one of them that he chose.
So in result of that I was constantly checking the area around us for any glimpses of a suit and tie that wouldn't normally be noticeable to anyone besides myself. I'm sure that Charlotte and Jonathan took my behavior as me just being in awe at the beauty of nature and not being a paranoid girl waiting for a supernatural creature to reveal itself.
Maybe it's better to let them live in the illusion that I'm the opposite of what I really am. That way they can pretend to have a normal(ish) daughter who isn't involved with a being who is able to take away the life force of a human and can do unbelievable things to the mind with his powers.
Let's not forget that he has some sort of unhealthy infatuation with me, which is probably the stupidest thing he is capable of doing. He also likes to appear right on top of me in the middle of the night, kiss me enough to make me lose whatever mental strength I had left, knock me out and proceed to leave me without any explanation of what the hell just happened.
Quite a relationship we have, yes?
The hike took three hours just to get to the top of the cliff where down below we could see the rest of the trails and how far we had traveled.
I leaned against the railing and drank a good amount of liquid from my water bottle. The temperature was on the colder side here, so none of us got really sweaty, which was a very good thing. I also hadn't noticed anything strange or abnormal in the trees on the way to the end of the trail. Maybe the universe was feeling nice today.
Jonathan came up behind Charlotte while she was gazing out over the railing and abruptly hugged her, lifting her up and spinning around, laughing at her surprised shriek. He set her down and she almost looked like she would hit him. But, almost as if to defy her anger, Jonathan pulled her in tightly for a kiss.
I put my water bottle back into my bag. Charlotte seemed to calm immediately and returned Jonathan's enthusiasm by wrapping her arms around his neck. Some would be uncomfortable watching their parents being so lovey, however I hadn't been around my parents for most of my life. Seeing this was actually strangely comforting.
Until I felt something in my boot and took it off to investigate, discovering a small piece of paper stuck to the inside. I pulled it out and only needed to glance at the symbol before tearing up the paper and tossing the shreds over the railing, where they fluttered down into the trees below.
Fuck. This means that he could appear here at any time if he wanted to. He could have been watching me from the very beginning of the hike, without me knowing at all. He could secretly be able to turn invisible, for all I know.
While we made our way back down the trail, I searched my bag and every other place on me that could be a hiding spot for a piece of paper. With a sigh of relief I found nothing else.
"So, Rei, have you decided on what we should do on the last day of our vacation?" Charlotte questioned when I was done with my mini fit of paranoia.
Crap. "No, I haven't really thought about it yet. I don't know what there is to do around this area. I think you guys should decide, since it is your money. I'm not much help on this subject."
Her mouth twitched a bit, from a frown to a smile of understanding. "Well, you still have a day or two to come up with something. I still want you to have some say in what we do."
Now it was time for me to give a soundless sigh of defeat. I didn't know if I would be able to come up with any ideas with how I was functioning after being mentally screwed over. I couldn't even think about it for very long, for fear of coming to realize that I didn't dislike what he did.
I couldn't allow myself to relive the memory of how soft his mouth was on mine, or how his skin felt just right against my own, or the way that I'd secretly wanted to keep him there forever and never leave that moment even if the world came to an end.
Dear god, what's wrong with me?
During the time that I spaced out, I fell behind Jonathan and Charlotte and was somehow staring down at both of their hiking shoes. They were having a discussion on what place to go to for dinner tonight. Completely distracted.
It was then that I noticed a tiny, almost invisible white thing stuck on the underside of Jonathan's shoe. Upon closer inspection of the dust-covered object I saw a circle with an x clearly marked through it, black ink on the paper.
Holy shit.
Okay, I realized that there was no way to remove the paper without somehow taking Jonathan's shoe or tripping him and using that distraction to get it. So what the hell was I going to do? Well, there was really only one thing that I could do.
I had to stay there, pretend I didn't see it, and hope that Slenderman only put it there as a precaution and wouldn't just randomly show up. Keeping my eyes trained on the trail ahead of us, I fought every instinct I had to look at the trees around us. Stay calm.
I think that Slenderman is only trying to make my paranoia worse. That's his master plan. I've finally figured it out.
Jonathan and Charlotte tried to talk to me more during the hike, and due to my concentration being in two places at once, I could only reply with half-ass answers. I would feel bad about it later. Right now I only felt extremely wary and slightly annoyed.
I bet he's standing out there laughing at me and how I was using all my willpower to stay focused on hiking. He probably enjoys my PTSD tendencies immensely, as much as he enjoys causing me any trouble that he can. Sadistic bastard.
Unfortunately I have the bladder of a baby squirrel and had to use the bathroom. I informed my parents and they chuckled at first.
Charlotte handed me the map of the trails. "If you take this trail, there's a bathroom right at the end of it. Then you take the trail behind the building and it takes you to the parking lot. We'll meet you by the car, okay?"
I took the map from her and saw that she was right. It wasn't very far away, which was good.
"My knee is killing me," Jonathan said with a slight wince. "I should sit down so it will stop hurting, otherwise we won't be able to go to the restaurant tonight."
Charlotte waved him off. "Yes, I know." She faced me to roll her eyes and show me the route one more time to make sure that I got it. Then she left with Jonathan, letting him lean on her, heading towards the trail opposite to mine.
I watched them fade away from my sight, and put the map away in my backpack. The trail only led to one destination. It shouldn't be that hard to get there.
It was relatively tranquil on the trail. I was careful to refrain from staring into the trees, even though I knew that there was a greater chance that he would show up now that I was alone. Maybe I should have thought about that before I decided to drink so much water and doom myself to needing to use the restroom.
Despite my many expectations, he didn't show up at all on the way to the bathroom. I wasn't completely sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. Dismissing the thought so that I could do my business, I was almost relieved at this point. Nothing extraordinarily bad had happened yet today.
That is, of course, until I stepped back outside the building and saw an unbelievably tall figure standing in the middle of the trail that led to the parking lot. He was blocking me from proceeding any further.
Goddammit.
My heartbeat sped up just as I performed the action of whirling around and running around the building to go back inside it. There was no way to lock the door, I realized when I closed it behind me in my rush. Okay, yes, I panicked. But could you blame me?
If I had been thinking rationally, I would have mentally slapped myself for thinking that it was ever possible to get away from or hide from Slenderman in any way. Now that I had made the stupid decision to run from him like this, I knew I couldn't go back now.
Trying to think of what to do next brought me no results. While distracted, Slenderman took that opportunity to materialize right in front of me and make me jump backwards in surprise. In my graceful movements I fell back against the cement wall of the bathroom and flinched slightly from the impact on my spine. That was going to bruise very quickly.
The dark melodious chuckling echoing around me brought my focus back, and I glared at his suit, not being able to face him fully. He sounded plainly amused, something I had long been used to hearing. It still managed to annoy me just as much as it did when I first heard it.
"You never fail to surprise me," he said when he finished making me feel even more stupid than usual.
I was not amused at all. I was in the middle between embarrassed and afraid, but not afraid for the reason one might think. "How so?" I somehow found a way to make myself look up at his face, expressionlessly gazing down at me.
This time his haunting laughter was more dark than light. "Because, Rei, you ran from me. You've never done that before, even when your life was being threatened. So, if I might ask..."
He leaned down a bit so that he was basically looming over me, putting his face just above mine and causing me to duck like a turtle. Now I couldn't keep my eyes on him anymore. I was getting more pissed off by the second.
"...What are you so afraid of?"
Oh hell no.
I pushed myself away from the wall and he stepped back automatically. This gave me a false sense of power, which I gladly took, not caring about what consequences it might bring. I folded my arms and tilted my head up at him defiantly. "I'm not afraid of you, which is something that I would think you should know by now."
He only stared at me, so I continued.
"If you must know, I had a very slight panic attack, due to my paranoia today. You freaked me out by putting those stupid papers where I could find them. I kept expecting you to come out of the trees at any moment and make me shit bricks."
He gave a snort, which was not what I wanted to hear. He then proceeded to step into my personal space and make me feel impossibly small by putting me in his shadow, since he blocked out the skylight with his height.
Quicker than I could process anything, he took hold of my wrist, the same one that he had grabbed the other night, and held it up against the wall next to me. I didn't even notice that I had moved back again. The cold cement absorbed my body heat and gave me a shiver.
"That's not it, Rei. Not at all." He brought his face alarmingly close to mine and his voice glued me to the spot. "You were terrified of the thought that I would kiss you again."
Just hearing him say the words kiss and you together was enough for my pulse to spike up in the back of my neck. I was unable to calm myself at all, because the longer I was trapped in his gaze, the more I became filled with a strange sensation that wanted to take control of my actions.
"Although..." he murmured quietly, "I don't think that you would mind very much if I did."
With a great amount of effort I snapped myself out of my hypnotized state and he saw this, releasing me and moving away. He would be smiling immensely like a jackass if he could. I fixed my jacket sleeve, pulling it back down and rubbing it roughly on my skin as if I could rub away the feelings he gave me.
"I would very much mind it, you ass," I retorted as a response.
His tone was very condescending and mocking. "You didn't seem to mind it before, little girl. In fact I seem to recall you trying to put your arm around me-"
"SHUT UP! You...you seduced me! You used your power to fuck around in my brain and you took control of my body and...stuff! You-"
"You do realize how red your cheeks are, right?"
Growling loudly, I face-palmed in the hope that it would slap my sanity back into me and bring me back to normal. Well...I was never really normal, but I just wanted this to go away. I didn't like feeling so weak and thrown out of balance.
He, of course, relished in it.
I went around him and towards the door that would lead me to the trail I was originally supposed to go on. While I pushed the door open, he tugged on the back of my jacket and lifted it up slightly, a cool finger tracing the outline of my spine.
"Are you sure you don't want me to get rid of the bruise first?"
Immediately I spun and slapped his hand away in a very spazzy manner, at this point just wanting to get away from him before he decided to do something against my will yet again, and make it so that I was in such a daze that I couldn't talk to my parents.
I hissed lowly in reply to him, scowling. "Stop it. And quit leaving your stupid papers in my things just so you can stalk me. I'm sure you can bother me all you want when I get back home, so can't you leave me alone just for the time that I'm with my parents?"
While I tried to move away, he put a hand behind my head and pulled my face to meet his lips, which thankfully only landed on my cheek this time. His whispering voice drifted into my ear. "No."
Then he was gone. I cursed into the empty bathroom, kicking the door open angrily and stepping out onto the trail. I got myself into this mess. I realize that, but can't I find a way out? Oh, right. He's the unbreakable wall blocking the way out.
When I made it back to the car where my parents were waiting, they saw the pissy look on my face and were probably assuming that I had just had a massive case of diarrhea or some kind of food poisoning.
If they had questioned me about it, I would have said that something is horribly wrong with me, and that there is no way to cure the kind of sickness that I have.
Hehehe I just love torturing Rei. I can't help it.
I got a new(ish) laptop, yey. That means faster updates *cough*hopefullymaybeIdon'tknow*cough*
Slendy's an ass. Yep. And he shall never stop being one. If he did, the world would spontaneously combust into flames and everyone would shit bricks at the same time cuz the natural order of things would be out of balance.
My friend thought that I should just end my story at 26 chapters cuz she was like 'DAYUM THAT'S LONG' and I was like bitch, you cray. I don't have a death wish. If I end it randomly, I'll die. My friend Kelsi would murder me and eat my remains.
What would you do if I just decided to end it here? XD
Also, wanna see something stupid and idiotic and which I should be shot for? Here you go.
Go into my stories list and look at the one titled "Bloopers, Alternate Scenes, Weirdness, and Stuff"
I...I regret nothing.
