Severus sat up in bed, the next morning, he was poking at the porridge that Madam Pomfrey had placed on the tray that was across his lap. He wasn't really hungry, but he wasn't going to argue with the one adult at the school that cared about him, so he ate what he could or rather what he believed was a decent amount. Next to the glass of pumpkin juice on his tray was an array of potions that he was supposed to take when he was finished with breakfast. He knew what they all were, two were for pain, one was for the treatment of internal injuries, one was for the treatment of shock, and one was a calming Draft. He took the first four potions, but felt more or less relaxed so he placed the calming draft on the night stand before placing the tray on the chair near his bed. He laid back, looking at the ceiling, He wasn't as tired as he was the day before, but he was still tired none the less. He closed his eyes as he heard Madam Pomfrey approaching his bed, grabbing the tray before he drifted off.
He was awaken by the feeling of someone touching his arm. His eyes fluttered open and he looked over to the chair besides his bed to find Avielle. But there was something different about her, there was a certain look in her eyes that worried him, she was nibbling on her lower lip, and her face was somewhat twisted into such a way that he knew couldn't be good.
"How are you feeling?" She asked as she looked at him, her voice was just a bit higher than normal and that bothered him.
"Alright, I suppose" he replied as he looked at her "Are you alright?" he asked rather concerned, she never looked that way unless something was wrong.
"I made a mistake Severus." She murmured, softly as if she didn't want to prolong her suffering. "I-I told." Severus felt his heart rate increase, he had hoped he had heard her wrong, maybe she had told about Potter, maybe she told about something else, but deep down He knew what she meant. Why else would she be so hesitant and look so timid? What else could it be? It took him a few moments to comprehend what she had said.
"You- you did w-what?" He stuttered as he withdrew his hand from her, his voice a little higher than he had intended. He had hoped he had heard her wrong. She wouldn't have done that to him right?
"I told" She repeated. He couldn't believe it. She was supposed to have his back, yet there she had gone and blabbed his biggest secret.
"Who did you tell?" he asked quickly, he had to know, he had to know how many people knew about Tobias, about the rape.
"I told Lily... and Mary." Severus felt his body go cold as his blood rushed in his ears. What would they think of him? Did they think he was weak? Pathetic? How long would it be before everyone knew?
"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?" He shouted at her, making her flinch as she sat back in the chair.
"I-I was trying to get Lily to understand. . ." Avielle stated "Mary, Mary was just there."
"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?" He shouted again his fear morphing to anger, "Get away from me, go, get. I don't want you near me" He could see the hurt on her face and in her eyes before he looked away. He could hear the scraping of the chair as she got up. He couldn't watch her leave. He didn't know what hurt worse, her betrayal or the fact he had just kicked her out. He turned on his side and wrapped his arms around his middle, he felt so utterly alone. She was supposed to protect his secret, she was supposed to be a keeper of some sorts, yet she had revealed the one thing he wanted no one to know. How did he know that Lily wasn't going to tell James and Sirius? He shuttered at the thought of what they would actually do to him if they did. Maybe instead of an attempt they would actually succeed in raping him. He didn't want to think about it. He felt sick all of a sudden, he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself and his stomach. He cracked his eyes open enough to where he found his calming draft and managed to drink it, feeling the effects immediately before closing his eyes to make sure he didn't get sick all over his bed and the floor next to his bed. This was going to be a long, long day.
MM
Mary walked timidly to the hospital wing, she wanted to see how Severus was doing, and she could no longer sit up in that room while Lily flopped around on her bed with her indecisive sighs while she did not know how he was. She had seen the aftermath of what they had try to do to him. She had seen the bruises and the bite mark on his neck, she had seen the pleading in his eyes as he looked at her when she had touched his face. He had been truly frightened, and honestly she couldn't blame him, not with what she had found out later.
Mary paused as she stood in front of the Hospital wing doors, she wasn't so certain if she should actually go and see the Slytherin, she could hear what people would say if they found out, but Mary didn't care as she shoved open the hospital wing door and entered. She walked gingerly over to the bed she knew Severus had been laid in. Severus was on his side as she pushed open the curtain and peered inside. His eyes were closed, but his breathing wasn't rhythmic and slow like it would be if he had been asleep. She walked slowly over to the chair that was facing him, and slowly slid into the hard plastic. She could see his eyelashes flutter as he cracked open his eyes. He seemed hesitant at first to open his eyes completely, but after a few moments he was looking at her with his onyx eyes.
"Have you come to make fun of me?" He asked rather quietly, his voice was cold and empty as if that was what he expected from her visit.
"Why would I make fun of you Severus?" Mary asked as she looked at him, her eyebrows knitting together slightly.
"Because she told you." Severus replied, he was avoiding her eyes, He was ashamed, that was clearly written in his body language.
"Because she told me you were raped?" Mary asked in a quiet voice, she had scooted up in her chair and was leaning forward slightly. She could see him wince as the word rape rolled off of her tongue, There was something written across his face that she couldn't read. Severus nodded and looked down at the tile under her chair.
Mary moved up in her chair, she was tempted to sit on the corner of his bed but she wasn't sure how he would react to her close proximity. Instead she chose to scoot the chair closer to his bed, she was sitting on the edge of her seat so she was close enough to him she could see the faint color difference in his eyes, but he still had room to breathe.
"Why Would I make fun of you because of that?" She asked him, reaching out and brushing a stray hair away from his face.
"Because I am weak and dirty." Severus replied, he still refused to look her in the eye. There was something about his tone that told her that he believed it, he believed that just because he had been taken advantage of made him weak and dirty.
"You are not weak and dirty Severus." Mary began, "You are strong, stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are here and you are trying to go on as nothing happened. You are dealing with everything you are feeling on the inside as well as everything that is being dished at you."
Severus looked at Mary for a moment, there was something flashing in his eyes as he processed what she had said.
"That doesn't make me strong" He finally muttered as he moved to sit up. "Being strong would have meant that I could have fought him off."
"No it doesn't"
"Yes it does" There were tears in his eyes as he looked away from her. "I am a bloody Wizard Mary and I couldn't have prevented a muggle from raping me!" He nearly shouted at her, he was close to breaking down now, she could tell. His shoulders were slouched as he spoke and the tears in his eyes were beginning to fall down his face.
"I-I couldn't even stop him" Severus finally sobbed, he hung his head, she could see the tears falling down his face as he tried to hold back the sounds he was making in his throat.
"Severus" She asked softly holding her hand out somewhat hesitantly before placing it on his shoulder.
"Severus?" Mary repeated as she slowly moved from the chair and took a seat on his bed, he flinched away from her, he tried to pull away from her, but she wouldn't let him. She carefully grabbed his arms above the large hand shaped bruise on his wrist and pulled him to her. He was tense for a few seconds before he relaxed into her arms, once he realized she wasn't going to hurt him, he slumped against her body.
They had never been close, they had only been around each other either during class or with Lily, but other than that, they had run in different circles, but there was something about what had happened last year that had made her wish they had. She had seen how lonely he was after Lily had refused to speak to him again. When she had told Lily that he was waiting outside in the Gryffindor common room. She had seen the hurt in his eyes, the hurt in his soul as he begged her to get Lily. He wasn't what everyone painted him to be. He was human, and the proof, was right in front of her.
She had been appalled when Lily and Remus had refused to stop James and Sirius' taunts before their first potions class. They were supposed to protect students, not allow those who pissed off their friends pick and bully them. Severus really had not done anything to those monsters, yet there they were trying to take something that wasn't theirs to take.
"You are alright Severus." Mary whispered as she rubbed circles on his back.
SS
Severus hated how he felt, he wasn't supposed to feel this way, his chest wasn't supposed to be trapped in a vice, he wasn't supposed to cry this much, he wasn't supposed to be this broken. He relaxed against Mary. He wasn't sure if she was to be trusted, but he hoped she was, he wanted her to be.
