Prompt: Annie finds out that Jeff and Britta made a backup marriage pact.

A/N: This was one of the hardest prompts so far. I ended up rewriting it slightly (the ending) to get it under 500 words, so there are two versions.


He hadn't thought about it since he'd made the agreement. He doubted he would've remembered at all if he hadn't been rifling through a drawer full of old junk one day and found the crumpled paper, hasty words scrawled over it, outlining the results of one of their stupid fights. Jeff sighed as he unfolded it, a sense of distinct discomfort rising as he did so, and frowned as he read it over. It wasn't he considered iron-clad but it was a written contract all the same and, worse, it was with Britta. Jeff knew he'd feel guilty screwing over Britta because really, he'd already done that enough. 35 was on the horizon for him and the agreement would take effect in 3 years or so, when Britta hit the same age. He had a finite timeline.

So Jeff began to scheme.


Scheme #1

He cornered Troy and casually mentioned Britta. Over and over again. Mentioned how much she loved Abed (true), her awesome listening skills (not untrue), how modest and gracious she was (small fibs), how wonderful a long-term, monogamous partner she would be (so maybe he was stretching the truth as far as it would reasonably go). Jeff had thought he was subtle, given that Troy often required a jackhammer where anyone else need a gentle nudge.

Apparently, describing Britta in-detail was not the way to make Troy realize he was in love with Britta. It was, in fact, the way to make Troy think that Jeff was in love with Britta.

On to the next plan.


Scheme #2

He enlisted Abed because there was no finer puppet-master in existence. At least, not when it came to their study group and Greendale. He concealed his motivations but revealed the bulk of plans and goals. Abed simply shook his head and Jeff described his prior failure with Troy.

"I've already run the scenarios, if that's going to happen, it'll have to happen on its own."

"You ran the scenarios." Abed nodded. "Why?"

"Because neither of them are happy now and Troy and Britta were happy together once." Jeff watched his friend closely, noting the subtle signs of irritation on Troy's behalf. "But the mission here is to make Britta happy, right?" Abed didn't wait for a response. "Then here's what we do: we track down Rick."

That plan failed pretty quickly too. Turned out, Subway knew how to bury their skeletons. When Jeff found mayo on a sub he hadn't ordered, he called it off.


He hadn't managed to get around to planning out scheme #3 when the group gathered for their annual Fourth of July barbecue but he figured he'd wing it because what was the point of his last name if he never used it for terrible puns?

Unfortunately, it all went to hell.

"Celebrating a 'free' country. Ha!" There was a round of groans. "Oh, please, do you know that our president uses drone attacks and-"

"Britta, it is a national holiday and we just want to have fun. Just for today, let it go." She huffed angrily but conceded that perhaps, just for today, she could put aside her moral outrage for Shirley's sake. "Thank you." It was because of her angry huffing, however, that she missed Shirley's gleefully mischievous grin. "Besides, aren't you the one who told me that you and Jeff made a pact to get married at 35 if you were both still single? Nut up and die alone! Ha! So much for being concerned with your freedom, hmm?"

The silence that reigned was epic.

"I'm dating someone!" It took him a minute before he realized the overly-loud declaration had come from Annie. Seven pairs of eyes focused on her and she squirmed slightly. "Yeah, I… Didn't want to mention it before but it's been a few weeks and, you know, with Jeff and Britta's news, I don't want them to think they'll break up the group again." One breath and she had managed to exhale an entire explanation that left Jeff frantic to correct her inaccurate assumptions.

"We're not getting married!"

"Hey!" He whirled on Britta.

"Have we ever talked about that stupid agreement since we made it?" She shook her head mutely. "Have we slept together since our second year at Greendale?" She responded in the negative again. "Have either of us indicated interest in a relationship with each other recently?" She opened her mouth as if to say something but seemed to think better of it and simply shook her head. "Exactly." He looked around, his gaze finally settling on Annie, and continued.

"I'm not… Opposed to marriage anymore but I'm not interested in getting married just for the sake of getting married. You guys are the ones that taught me that who you're with matters more than not being alone."

He looked around the group, making eye contact with each of them, and relaxed as he saw smiles and nods.

"Did you just come out?"


ALTERNATE (CONCISE) VERSION:

He hadn't thought about the agreement since he'd made it. He doubted he would've remembered at all if he hadn't been rifling through a drawer full of junk one day and found the crumpled paper, hasty words scrawled over it, outlining the results of one of their stupid fights. It wasn't what he considered iron-clad but it was a written contract all the same and, worse, it was with Britta. 35 was on the horizon for him and the agreement would take effect in 3 years or so, when Britta hit the same age. He had a finite timeline to prevent this.

So Jeff began to scheme.


Scheme #1

Apparently, describing Britta in-detail was not the way to make Troy realize he was in love with Britta. It was, in fact, the way to make Troy think that Jeff was in love with Britta.


Scheme #2

He enlisted Abed because there was no finer puppet-master in existence. He concealed his motivations but revealed the bulk of his plans and goals. Abed simply shook his head and Jeff described his prior failure with Troy.

"I've already run the scenarios, if that's going to happen, it'll have to happen on its own."

"You ran the scenarios." Abed nodded. "Why?"

"Because neither is happy now but Troy and Britta were happy together once." Jeff watched his friend closely. "But the mission here is to make Britta happy, right?" Abed didn't wait for a response. "Then here's what we do: we track down Rick."

That plan failed pretty quickly too. Turned out, Subway knew how to bury their skeletons. When Jeff found mayo on a sub he hadn't ordered, he recognized the warning for what it was and called it off.


He hadn't managed to get around to planning out scheme #3 when the group gathered for their annual Fourth of July barbecue but he figured he'd wing it because what was the point of his last name if he never used it for terrible puns?

Unfortunately, it all went to hell.

"Celebrating a 'free' country. Ha!" There was a round of groans. "Oh, please, do you know that our president uses drone attacks and-"

"Not today!" Britta let out an offended squawk but fell silent at Shirley's threatening glare.

"Hmph." The group's attention drifted as conversation broke out. Troy, sitting beside Britta, nudged her arm gently and cleared his throat, a weird smile emerging.

"Hey, so, are you and Jeff a thing now? Because I talked to him and said it was okay with me." Troy's words were quiet but Britta's response was not.

"What the hell are you talking about?"


"So, we made an agreement-"

"An agreement? About what?" Jeff winced at Annie's question.

"Marrying at 35." Her reaction was… To not react.

"What happened to 'nut up and die alone'?"

"We were drunk, it was stupid and I've spent all week failing spectacularly at trying to stop it."

"Maybe you shouldn't have." Somehow, that was the worst response he could've imagined.